To the Stars
Page 75
I placed both hands against his cheeks and kissed him softly. When I pulled back, it was all over his face that he knew what I was about to say. “I did not spend the last two and a half years living with him, and living with what he was doing to me, just to let someone else finish things for me. He’s my problem. I need you, Knox. But I need you to help me stay strong in this, okay?”
He wouldn’t respond to me, because he and I both knew he didn’t plan on letting me do this my way.
After a minute passed, Knox’s eyes went past me, and Deacon cleared his throat before he started talking. “Right, so. I have nothing then.” When Knox’s eyes narrowed, Deacon said, “I was going to say we needed to start thinking of safe places. Maybe the fire department, unless you think Collin has people there, too.”
“It’s doubtful,” Knox said.
“Not that it matters, but the treasury is in control of the fire department’s money,” I added, but Knox shook his head.
“I still don’t think—”
“But we can’t know,” Graham interjected.
“Well, she can’t stay with friends or family. He’ll know to look there first,” Deacon said with a sigh, and sank into his chair.
“But if he does find out that she’s with me, he would quickly find out that I’m a firefighter,” Knox argued.
“Yeah, but I doubt he’d think you’d hide her with a bunch of them.”
“It still wouldn’t matter. I’m not hiding,” I said defiantly, and hoped only Knox noticed my shaking since he was holding me. “You don’t understand, I can’t. He’ll go after everyone I love if I do. My family won’t have that much time. I need to figure out what I’m going to do, and do it today.”
We all sat there in silence for a while until Graham eventually asked me, “What was your plan? You can’t go back to him.”
I laughed uneasily. “I would never go back to him. I just don’t have a—” I straightened and gasped. “The new chief of police in Richland! I-I don’t know who he is, but I’ve heard Collin talk about him in the last few weeks. They’re all mad because he’s not from here, and they wanted the Benton County sheriff’s cousin, or something like that, to get the promotion. They were livid over it—still are. Collin and one of his dad’s coworkers were just talking about it this week. If they hate him so much, then he’s our best bet.”
“Done,” Graham and Deacon said together, then Graham asked, “Knox?”
When I looked back at Knox, I saw the muscle in his jaw twitch. He refused to meet my gaze. “One of you, find out a way for us to meet with him. Don’t bother us until it’s set up.” Without another word, he slid me off his lap, stood up, and pulled me down the hall with him.
He was furious.
Knox didn’t stop walking until we got to his bed, and then it was only to pause to sit me down on it before he began pacing in tight circles. A few minutes passed before he finally stopped and turned to look at me, and my heart sank at the rage and pain I saw in his eyes.
“Why won’t you let me take care of this for you?”
“I told you.”
“Harlow—”
“I’m here, Knox. I left him. I’m letting you help me, but I can’t let you do this for me. Please understand that.”
“I can’t!” he yelled, and my body jerked from the sudden boom of his voice. He groaned and ran a hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I just—Harlow, I can’t,” he choked out and shut his eyes. A single tear ran down his cheek when he did.
I stood from the bed and pressed close to his body—his arms immediately wrapped around me. “We’re both going to be okay.”
Knox’s dark eyes opened, and I knew he didn’t believe me. Then again, I wasn’t sure I did, either. “He has police, Low. I know what you said about Collin not liking this guy, but we can’t know. It feels like a trap that we’re setting up.”
“And that’s exactly why you’ll be there.”
“What?” Knox whispered when there was a knock on his door—like the sound alone was too much for him right now, because it meant there was some news.
“Some lady said the chief will be in at eight and you can just show up. I didn’t say names, just said I wanted a meeting with him.”
Knox shut his eyes and inhaled deeply, but didn’t respond. So I gave my thanks to Deacon and waited for him to leave. Once the door shut, I pulled Knox back onto the bed and situated us in the middle, pressed close to each other.
We didn’t speak over the next forty-five minutes, just lay there watching each other. Every now and then, Knox would cradle my cheek in his large hand, and I tried to memorize the feeling.
My body started trembling, and Knox looked sick when Graham and Deacon came in later.
When we didn’t move, Deacon murmured, “The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can all stop worrying.”
“We get this done?” I asked. “No. You’re not coming.”
“Yes, we are,” Graham said, and left no room for argument. At least the guys weren’t acting like mother hens anymore. They’d stopped after breakfast.
“Look, I appreciate what—”
“Harlow,” Graham said, and looked directly at me. “I understand what you want. I understand it and respect that you want to be the one to finish this. But it’s stupid for us not to go with you. Even if you’re worried about us, you have to admit how stupid it is for you to go alone—”
“I’m letting Knox come,” I interjected, but he kept talking.
“—and how stupid it is for only him to go with you. He’s so in love with you that he won’t be able to think clearly. Which is where we come in. Besides, do you think with the unknown amount of dirty cops, that you would just be able to walk into the police department alone without one of them telling Collin where to find you? Or taking you to him? You need us there.”
“Oh,” I whispered. That hadn’t been something I’d thought of, and I felt stupid for not thinking that far ahead. That didn’t mean I wanted these three guys to put themselves in even more immediate danger. I turned to look at Knox’s guarded expression. “You knew they were going to do this?”
He wouldn’t respond to me, because he and I both knew he didn’t plan on letting me do this my way.
After a minute passed, Knox’s eyes went past me, and Deacon cleared his throat before he started talking. “Right, so. I have nothing then.” When Knox’s eyes narrowed, Deacon said, “I was going to say we needed to start thinking of safe places. Maybe the fire department, unless you think Collin has people there, too.”
“It’s doubtful,” Knox said.
“Not that it matters, but the treasury is in control of the fire department’s money,” I added, but Knox shook his head.
“I still don’t think—”
“But we can’t know,” Graham interjected.
“Well, she can’t stay with friends or family. He’ll know to look there first,” Deacon said with a sigh, and sank into his chair.
“But if he does find out that she’s with me, he would quickly find out that I’m a firefighter,” Knox argued.
“Yeah, but I doubt he’d think you’d hide her with a bunch of them.”
“It still wouldn’t matter. I’m not hiding,” I said defiantly, and hoped only Knox noticed my shaking since he was holding me. “You don’t understand, I can’t. He’ll go after everyone I love if I do. My family won’t have that much time. I need to figure out what I’m going to do, and do it today.”
We all sat there in silence for a while until Graham eventually asked me, “What was your plan? You can’t go back to him.”
I laughed uneasily. “I would never go back to him. I just don’t have a—” I straightened and gasped. “The new chief of police in Richland! I-I don’t know who he is, but I’ve heard Collin talk about him in the last few weeks. They’re all mad because he’s not from here, and they wanted the Benton County sheriff’s cousin, or something like that, to get the promotion. They were livid over it—still are. Collin and one of his dad’s coworkers were just talking about it this week. If they hate him so much, then he’s our best bet.”
“Done,” Graham and Deacon said together, then Graham asked, “Knox?”
When I looked back at Knox, I saw the muscle in his jaw twitch. He refused to meet my gaze. “One of you, find out a way for us to meet with him. Don’t bother us until it’s set up.” Without another word, he slid me off his lap, stood up, and pulled me down the hall with him.
He was furious.
Knox didn’t stop walking until we got to his bed, and then it was only to pause to sit me down on it before he began pacing in tight circles. A few minutes passed before he finally stopped and turned to look at me, and my heart sank at the rage and pain I saw in his eyes.
“Why won’t you let me take care of this for you?”
“I told you.”
“Harlow—”
“I’m here, Knox. I left him. I’m letting you help me, but I can’t let you do this for me. Please understand that.”
“I can’t!” he yelled, and my body jerked from the sudden boom of his voice. He groaned and ran a hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I just—Harlow, I can’t,” he choked out and shut his eyes. A single tear ran down his cheek when he did.
I stood from the bed and pressed close to his body—his arms immediately wrapped around me. “We’re both going to be okay.”
Knox’s dark eyes opened, and I knew he didn’t believe me. Then again, I wasn’t sure I did, either. “He has police, Low. I know what you said about Collin not liking this guy, but we can’t know. It feels like a trap that we’re setting up.”
“And that’s exactly why you’ll be there.”
“What?” Knox whispered when there was a knock on his door—like the sound alone was too much for him right now, because it meant there was some news.
“Some lady said the chief will be in at eight and you can just show up. I didn’t say names, just said I wanted a meeting with him.”
Knox shut his eyes and inhaled deeply, but didn’t respond. So I gave my thanks to Deacon and waited for him to leave. Once the door shut, I pulled Knox back onto the bed and situated us in the middle, pressed close to each other.
We didn’t speak over the next forty-five minutes, just lay there watching each other. Every now and then, Knox would cradle my cheek in his large hand, and I tried to memorize the feeling.
My body started trembling, and Knox looked sick when Graham and Deacon came in later.
When we didn’t move, Deacon murmured, “The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can all stop worrying.”
“We get this done?” I asked. “No. You’re not coming.”
“Yes, we are,” Graham said, and left no room for argument. At least the guys weren’t acting like mother hens anymore. They’d stopped after breakfast.
“Look, I appreciate what—”
“Harlow,” Graham said, and looked directly at me. “I understand what you want. I understand it and respect that you want to be the one to finish this. But it’s stupid for us not to go with you. Even if you’re worried about us, you have to admit how stupid it is for you to go alone—”
“I’m letting Knox come,” I interjected, but he kept talking.
“—and how stupid it is for only him to go with you. He’s so in love with you that he won’t be able to think clearly. Which is where we come in. Besides, do you think with the unknown amount of dirty cops, that you would just be able to walk into the police department alone without one of them telling Collin where to find you? Or taking you to him? You need us there.”
“Oh,” I whispered. That hadn’t been something I’d thought of, and I felt stupid for not thinking that far ahead. That didn’t mean I wanted these three guys to put themselves in even more immediate danger. I turned to look at Knox’s guarded expression. “You knew they were going to do this?”
