Too Consumed

Page 27

I remember laughing at him. “I’m not dead weight. I’m a fucking balloon—a soaring fucking plane and I’m never coming down.”
“Balloons may fly high, but after a certain limit they pop and planes have to land sometime. They both have their needs and limitations, just like you. You could have said bird, they don’t need much sustenance and they don’t fly too high, but you had to go and put yourself thousands and thousands of feet above everyone else. That says a lot about you, your personality and your temperament. You always have to be number one. You always put your wants and needs before anyone else’s, and you always have to be in control…I feel sorry for you, Seth.”
I swallow. Would it have killed him to say that he’s proud of me on a regular basis? Shit, he didn’t even have to tell me he was proud of me, actually disciplining me and giving me proper advice on what to do and what not to do would have sufficed. Yes, I fucked up a lot with school and girls. Yes, I dropped out of college and refused to get a normal job. I probably drank way too much and started way too many fights, but I was only a kid. Isn’t that what kids do?
This year has done nothing but inflate me…why haven’t I popped yet? Why haven’t I landed for fuel? I’m getting dangerously close to the sun with no sign of bursting. My fuel is redlining, but my engines are running just fine on the fumes.
“And I’m sure your dad is proud of you as well,” Olivia adds with a smile.
And then it hits me. I haven’t popped or crashed and burned yet because of her. She has been keeping me up. If it wasn’t for her, I’d have flaked on my first fight in the amateur tournament against Frederick Kennedy—I was about to throw in the towel, but she helped me. She came into my room and touched me. She didn’t have to. I did nothing but treat her like shit prior to that—only seeking to get one thing from her. She let me in…she saw something in me and let me into her life. The other night Jackson asked me why I chose her, but the real question is, why did she choose me? Why did she take a risk with me? She’s not the lucky one here, I am, and I count my blessings every fucking day. Olivia is the string attached to my balloon. I haven’t popped because she hasn’t let me. Olivia is the fuelling jet, following me as I soar through the clouds. She feeds me fuel a little portion at a time, so I don’t get ahead of myself. She keeps me grounded and that’s why I love her.
Olivia doesn’t know about the tense relationship with my dad—at least not in its entirety, and it isn’t really a big enough issue to share with her.
“I don’t care about that anymore,” I reply, sliding my arms around her waist and inching her closer to me.
“No?”
I shake my head. “Only what you think of me matters.”
“Is that right?”
I nod, slipping my hand under her shirt and caressing the small of her back. The touch alone is enough to ease the nervous grind in my stomach.
“And what do you think of me?”
She purses her lips in thought and as she’s about to speak, Jackson’s light hair and green eyes peer around the door and stick into the car. “You two coming?”
“Five minutes,” I demand. “Shut the door.”
With a swift nod, he closes the door.
“Can we do this later? We’re holding everybody up.”
I shake my head, slightly. “Now is fine.”
“Okay.” She drops her gaze and fidgets with my shirt. “I think you are insatiable, intense, aggressive, hard to read, and stubborn.”
Old news. Even I know that.
“But I also think you are confident, determined, hardworking, handsome—”
“Good in bed,” I chime in, suddenly feeling playful. “Amazing with my hands, but better with my mouth and I have nice sized c—”
“Ego,” she cuts in, her cheeks flushing. “Yeah, your ego is huge.”
“Is that what we’re calling it now? It’s a strange nickname but I think I can make it work.”
She slaps my chest and I grab her arms, pinning them to her side. She thrashes against me trying to break away. I’m barely using any strength to hold her down and I find it extremely amusing (and a little arousing) that she’s fighting so hard against me.
“You love my ego.” I chuckle, yanking her forward so her chest is flush on mine and her lips only inches away. “You love the way my ego feels.”
I tilt my head forward and she gasps as I suck her bottom lip into my mouth. I let it go. “Whether you like the way it tastes is yet to be seen.”
I watch her face as her lips straighten into a serious line. “Keep this grip on me and I guarantee your ego won’t see the outside of your pants this entire trip.”
I arch an eyebrow, but her face doesn’t falter and I release her. Not a second later, she crushes her lips to mine. Olivia parts her thighs and slips them over mine as she rakes her fingers through my hair. It takes me by complete surprise. I’m thoroughly dazed, my brain and body out of sync as they desperately scatter to catch up with each other. As her tongue roughly massages mine, my hands come up and grip her ass, pulling her hard against me. With a sharp inhale, she rolls her hips into me and I groan into her mouth. Luckily, the windows are black glass and no one can see in. Only my eyes will see my girl when she’s like this—horny and commanding. I think having her hands on me is exactly what I need to ease the negative thoughts. My head swims with the taste of her and the feel of her against me. Only she has the power to consume me, to eradicate all train of rational thinking. Even an occasional brush of her hand against my skin is enough to send a warm shock through my system.
Olivia pulls back an inch and our breath collides between us. I look at her face. Her eyes are thinned into lusty slits, her lips swollen from our kiss. The waves of energy between us has my heart pounding and it takes all of my strength not to swallow hard.
“I promise I will love every second I get to taste you.”
She leans forward and in one painfully slow movement, she kisses me softly before sliding off me and exiting the car.
I exhale, pulling her jacket over my lap to conceal the erection that’s trying to force its way through my zipper and I give myself a few long minutes to compose myself before sliding from the car. The hot, sticky air clings to me and I can’t wait to get inside and out of the desert heat.
The valets take the keys from Darryl while the bell boys retrieve our bags from the back.
“Vegas, baby!” Jackson cheers, slinging an arm over my shoulder.
I nudge him with my elbow and he recoils. “Let’s not make this a repeat of our first trip to Vegas. Let’s keep it like last time, nice and quiet.”
He scoffs. “You had a ball when we came the first time.”
He’s referring to the time he and I came to Vegas for my twenty-first birthday .I roll my eyes at him. “It’s because of that first time I don’t drink anymore.”
Jackson is the only one I know who wears a t-shirt with a formal jacket. Sure, it looks good, but that doesn’t make it any less weird.
“You’re the only person in the world that’d be upset by what you did.” He shakes his head. “Not me. That was fucking awesome!”
My gaze nervously flicks to Olivia, who seems to be deep in conversation with Selena as they gush over the giant gold lion at the front. I don’t want her to know what I did years ago in Vegas. It makes me sick to even think about it.
“Don’t bring it up anymore,” I order, my voice sounding a lot more aggressive than I intend.
Jackson flashes me his palms, smiling deviously. “Relax, I won’t tell her. Your secret is safe with me.”
He winks and it makes me a little nervous. It’s not really a secret. It’s not that I want to hide it, I just don’t like being reminded of it. I was only twenty-one at the time and I was stupid. Jackson and I got a little wild. Vegas is the ultimate party spot and when I drink, I tend to get a little out of control—in every sense of the term. I got into a fight outside a strip joint—broke the guy’s nose in two places and had sex with three girls at the same time. My stomach churns as my brain pulls up on and off broken flashbacks of me fucking all of them. I cringe. I’ve never been more disgusted with myself. I’m not one to regret or care about my decisions because at that point in time, it was exactly what I wanted…but that night left me feeling as stupid and as low and pathetic as my dad always implied. When I drink, I become uncontrollable—angry, horny, and unstoppable. It’s not something I’m proud of, either, and it’s something I tend to avoid. I don’t like that part of me. I don’t like that alcohol brings out a more magnified version of me and my inability to control myself was part the reason I always declined alcohol around Olivia. If she thinks I’m insatiable and aggressive now, she hasn’t seen anything until I’ve had my fair share of booze. The second time I saw Olivia, at Lux’s back in Portland, I went out that night with only the intent to drink and fuck her out of my mind…but then I saw her dancing with Selena and she planted her roots in. I stopped drinking after half a beer on the notion that if I drank anymore, I wouldn’t treat her like the good girl she is. I wouldn’t have stopped until I had Olivia in the bathroom, in the alleyway, or on the fucking dance floor—I didn’t care.
Olivia, however, is the polar opposite. When she drinks, she’s all cute and bubbly, complete with hiccups and all.
“Let’s go and settle in, ladies and gentlemen,” Darryl announces, slipping a pink ‘Let’s Party’ shirt on over the top of his black tee. “This is our home for the next three weeks. I am without children and other father-related responsibilities.” He looks at me. “Well, mostly.”
I laugh. Darryl is a known party animal. He loves beer, boobs, and dancing. He’ll undoubtedly want to hit up a strip club or two while we’re here, and he’ll call his wife, Janie, right in the middle of it. That’s the kind of relationship Darryl and Janie share. Janie has no problem with Darryl having fun with the boys. In fact, she’s tagged along once or twice. Olivia’s fingers thread though mine. I hadn’t realized she left Selena and approached me. I squeeze them gently and I feel her fingers flex in return.
“Look!” Selena squeals, pointing out toward the road. “They’ve got you on a TV.”
I follow the direction her skinny arm is pointing and I see me on an LED television up high by the road. I scan my stern face and oiled skin. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing myself so…public. Being ‘out there’ only makes it more embarrassing if I fail .I look at my opponent, Junior Moset, on the opposite side of the screen, who I’ll fight in the MGM Grand Garden Arena. He’s a little smaller than me…not intimidating at all…so why am I suddenly feeling so much self-doubt? I don’t deserve this and I’m going to fuck it up. I start to over think things—everything feels wrong. Olivia releases my hand and her fingers travel north before wrapping around my elbow and pulling my arm into her chest. Olivia doesn’t touch my face or hold me like she usually does when I’m feeling on edge. Those moments are for us only and I don’t like sharing my problems with everyone else—even Darryl and Jackson. If I really focus, I’m sure I can feel her heart beating against me and the thought alone is enough to ease my tension.
“We can all gaze on Seth’s perfection later.” Olivia laughs. “I want to see my room.”
“Since you boys are going to be busy all the time, maybe Olivia and I should share a room?” Selena suggests, flicking her long blonde hair over shoulder.
Like fucking hell. Jackson and I start our protest at the same time, forcing Selena to take a slight step backwards.
“I don’t think that’s a bad ide—” Olivia begins and I cut her off.
“You’re staying with me.”
Vegas is a big city and not the kind of place I want Olivia walking around without me, especially under the influence of Selena who, let’s face it, isn’t exactly the smartest person in the world or the most innocent. When I first met Olivia, she was drinking beer in a steakhouse in the morning, roofied in a club, and groped in a parking lot all because of Selena. I won’t have it. No fucking way.
Selena’s green eyes narrow in on me. “Jesus Christ, it’s only a suggestion. Nobody is taking your precious away from you.”
Beside me, Olivia giggles and when I look down at her, she shrugs and bites her lip. I’m glad she finds this so amusing, but I don’t. I need our time in Vegas to go off without a hitch. Everything I’ve planned for Vegas all adds up to the one big question I will ask her. All of it. I can’t take any chances.
Darryl sighs. “Keep fighting and Olivia and Selena are sharing a room with me. Stick to the original plan. Selena and Jackson, Seth and Olivia, and me and myself. Happy?”
Everyone agrees and turns to enter the hotel. I glance over my shoulder and take one last look at the sign.
I can do this.
Chapter Sixteen
Olivia
I still can’t get over the sheer extravagance of our room. Even with Jackson, Darryl and Selena here, the Skyline Terrace suite still feels large and empty. The two-story suite is easily seven hundred and eighty square feet and is filled with loads of elegant furniture. Why he paid for such a big suite for just the two of us is beyond me, all five of us can fit in here easily.
I drop my black stilettos onto the bathroom tiles and adjust my clingy dress. Selena brought it up for me to wear after she refused to let me leave the hotel in the plum colored dress I’d originally chosen. This one is nice, if not a little revealing.