Torn
Page 40
“It doesn’t matter how it happened,” he said, but it did. There was so much I was hiding. “You facing her down was the last thing I wanted for you. That’s too heavy,” he said. “I know what you’re feeling.”
My eyes slowly opened. Ren did know. Kind of. His best friend hadn’t betrayed him, because he hadn’t known he was the halfling, but Ren had been standing on the other side when it came to someone he cared about.
And he was doing it again now, but had no idea.
My mind raced back to earlier in the evening. I’d been seconds away from telling Ren the truth, but I’d stopped. Henry’s appearance and what had just happened with Val didn’t change anything else. I pulled back, clearing my throat. “So, what did Kyle want?”
Ren’s gaze moved over my face as he tucked back a few loose curls. “He wanted to talk about the halfling and plans to try to ferret out some of the fae. See if we could capture one of them and get them to point us in the right direction, but with Val . . .”
My heart was pumping again. I had no idea how many fae knew what I was, but there was a good chance a lot did. There was no escaping any of this. If what just happened with Val had taught me anything, it had taught me that. “She wasn’t the halfling, Ren.”
His brows knitted. “I know Kyle thinks—”
“I’m the halfling,” I whispered.
Chapter Fourteen
Oh my God.
There. I’d said it. I’d told the truth—an earth-shattering truth while standing in front of some building that was most likely a bar.
Ren’s brows were raised and his full lips were parted. Several seconds passed while my heart thundered in my chest. “What?” he said finally. “Ivy—”
“It’s me.” My voice was shaking as were my hands. “I didn’t know until about a week after I fought the prince. I didn’t—”
“Stop,” he said, holding up his hands. “I don’t know why you think that. I don’t care what Kyle said in there. Val was the halfling. That makes sense.”
“No. No, it doesn’t.” I took a step back, swallowing hard. Tears clogged the back of my throat, but I needed to pull it together. I breathed through the burn. “What Kyle said earlier is the truth. If Val had been the halfling, they wouldn’t have risked her that night to open the gate. She wouldn’t have been out here tonight. They’d do everything to keep her safe so she’d be available to the . . . to the prince. It’s not her.”
“Okay. All right.” He thrust a hand through his messy hair. “I can see why you’d believe that, and you’ve been under a ton of stress, but—”
“It’s not stress, Ren. You’re not hearing me. It’s not some whacked-out theory I’ve come up with. I don’t even understand how myself. You said my parents were in love and there was no evidence of one of them being with someone else. Maybe it was like your friend. I don’t know, but it’s me.” I closed my hands into fists. “It’s me.”
He stared at me, his chest rising sharply. “That’s impossible.”
Exhaling roughly, I grabbed his hand and pulled him past several buildings and into a well-lit alley that fed into a courtyard. The alley smelled faintly of mold and questionable bodily fluids, but it was the closest semi-private place.
I looked toward the mouth of the alley and saw people passing by, oblivious to what was happening a handful of feet from them. “I know I should’ve told you the moment I found out, but I . . . I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this. That I would never have to tell anyone, and I know that’s wrong, but I . . .” My gaze shifted back to him. He was staring at me. “I can’t lie to you anymore. Not when they’re here. I can’t do that to you. I don’t want you to be caught off-guard by it.”
His lips parted as he took another deep breath.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “You must be so disgusted with me.”
Ren slowly shook his head. “Disgusted? I could never be disgusted with you.”
Hope sparked alive. Was he saying that he still accepted me, even knowing what I was? He wouldn’t turn me in and we’d—
“I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but we can figure this out.” He stepped closer, lifting a hand. “Try to get to the bottom of why you think this about you.”
Disappointment washed away the hope. He didn’t believe me. God. “I’ll show you,” I said.
His brows knitted together as concern slashed over his handsome face. “Sweetness, you don’t have to show me anything.”
An ache lit up my chest as I reached down and yanked the thorn stake out of my pant leg. I straightened and angled my body so what I was doing was hidden from the people on the sidewalk. Ren’s eyes widened and he shot toward me, but he was too late. I sliced my palm, over the same spot I’d sliced before. Air hissed between my teeth as I glanced up, watching Ren, because I already knew what my blood was going to do. It would bubble and fizz, and even in the poor light of the alley, he’d see it, and that shit wasn’t normal to say the least.
Ren jerked back. Stumbled. And I imagined he rarely ever lost his step like that. He paled and his mouth moved without sound.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I closed my hand as I lowered the thorn stake. “I’m the halfling, Ren.”
His stark gaze rose to mine. Those beautiful green eyes were full of horror and a raw emotion I couldn’t quite place.
My eyes slowly opened. Ren did know. Kind of. His best friend hadn’t betrayed him, because he hadn’t known he was the halfling, but Ren had been standing on the other side when it came to someone he cared about.
And he was doing it again now, but had no idea.
My mind raced back to earlier in the evening. I’d been seconds away from telling Ren the truth, but I’d stopped. Henry’s appearance and what had just happened with Val didn’t change anything else. I pulled back, clearing my throat. “So, what did Kyle want?”
Ren’s gaze moved over my face as he tucked back a few loose curls. “He wanted to talk about the halfling and plans to try to ferret out some of the fae. See if we could capture one of them and get them to point us in the right direction, but with Val . . .”
My heart was pumping again. I had no idea how many fae knew what I was, but there was a good chance a lot did. There was no escaping any of this. If what just happened with Val had taught me anything, it had taught me that. “She wasn’t the halfling, Ren.”
His brows knitted. “I know Kyle thinks—”
“I’m the halfling,” I whispered.
Chapter Fourteen
Oh my God.
There. I’d said it. I’d told the truth—an earth-shattering truth while standing in front of some building that was most likely a bar.
Ren’s brows were raised and his full lips were parted. Several seconds passed while my heart thundered in my chest. “What?” he said finally. “Ivy—”
“It’s me.” My voice was shaking as were my hands. “I didn’t know until about a week after I fought the prince. I didn’t—”
“Stop,” he said, holding up his hands. “I don’t know why you think that. I don’t care what Kyle said in there. Val was the halfling. That makes sense.”
“No. No, it doesn’t.” I took a step back, swallowing hard. Tears clogged the back of my throat, but I needed to pull it together. I breathed through the burn. “What Kyle said earlier is the truth. If Val had been the halfling, they wouldn’t have risked her that night to open the gate. She wouldn’t have been out here tonight. They’d do everything to keep her safe so she’d be available to the . . . to the prince. It’s not her.”
“Okay. All right.” He thrust a hand through his messy hair. “I can see why you’d believe that, and you’ve been under a ton of stress, but—”
“It’s not stress, Ren. You’re not hearing me. It’s not some whacked-out theory I’ve come up with. I don’t even understand how myself. You said my parents were in love and there was no evidence of one of them being with someone else. Maybe it was like your friend. I don’t know, but it’s me.” I closed my hands into fists. “It’s me.”
He stared at me, his chest rising sharply. “That’s impossible.”
Exhaling roughly, I grabbed his hand and pulled him past several buildings and into a well-lit alley that fed into a courtyard. The alley smelled faintly of mold and questionable bodily fluids, but it was the closest semi-private place.
I looked toward the mouth of the alley and saw people passing by, oblivious to what was happening a handful of feet from them. “I know I should’ve told you the moment I found out, but I . . . I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this. That I would never have to tell anyone, and I know that’s wrong, but I . . .” My gaze shifted back to him. He was staring at me. “I can’t lie to you anymore. Not when they’re here. I can’t do that to you. I don’t want you to be caught off-guard by it.”
His lips parted as he took another deep breath.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “You must be so disgusted with me.”
Ren slowly shook his head. “Disgusted? I could never be disgusted with you.”
Hope sparked alive. Was he saying that he still accepted me, even knowing what I was? He wouldn’t turn me in and we’d—
“I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but we can figure this out.” He stepped closer, lifting a hand. “Try to get to the bottom of why you think this about you.”
Disappointment washed away the hope. He didn’t believe me. God. “I’ll show you,” I said.
His brows knitted together as concern slashed over his handsome face. “Sweetness, you don’t have to show me anything.”
An ache lit up my chest as I reached down and yanked the thorn stake out of my pant leg. I straightened and angled my body so what I was doing was hidden from the people on the sidewalk. Ren’s eyes widened and he shot toward me, but he was too late. I sliced my palm, over the same spot I’d sliced before. Air hissed between my teeth as I glanced up, watching Ren, because I already knew what my blood was going to do. It would bubble and fizz, and even in the poor light of the alley, he’d see it, and that shit wasn’t normal to say the least.
Ren jerked back. Stumbled. And I imagined he rarely ever lost his step like that. He paled and his mouth moved without sound.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I closed my hand as I lowered the thorn stake. “I’m the halfling, Ren.”
His stark gaze rose to mine. Those beautiful green eyes were full of horror and a raw emotion I couldn’t quite place.
