Tragic
Page 36
He pushes on the small of my back and guides me over to the scale. "Because, Rook, this is my job here. I run the girls, I run the closet, and I take it very seriously. So now that the contract is signed, I have to keep track of you. Please, step on the scale."
I think I feel sick. He gets to weigh me? "What if I don't?"
"Why do you care if I weigh you?" he asks with an annoyed look on his face.
"It's degrading. You're reducing me to a number."
"It's not just a number, it's an indicator."
I turn as my whole body goes hot with anger. "Indicator of what?"
"Of whether or not you are following the rules we have in place for keeping the models looking a certain way."
He waits as I process what he just said and then reads my silence as acceptance and pushes me until I step on the scale. He steps around to the other side and writes the number down in a tablet. I can't see the number because it's hidden from this side.
"Well?"
"Well, what?" he asks, pushing me to move off the scale and shaking the garment bag at me.
"How much do I weigh?"
"It's just a number, Rook. I never tell the girls how much they weigh."
"Why not? It seems pretty stupid to weigh people and then keep it a secret if you ask me."
"Because I'm not interested in what you weigh, only in whether or not you change from the weight you are now."
I snatch the bag from him and walk away. I am so f**king glad I did not decide to rely on Ronin Flynn, because he's an ass**le. I choose the same dressing room as I did yesterday and unzip the bag to look at the clothes.
It's a pink knee-length dress and it's straight out of Gidget. I stand on my tip toes and peek over the door.
Ronin smiles and waves his finger at me from down the hall.
There's no underwear or bra again.
I slip out of my clothes and pull the dress on. It's got a squared-off neckline that plunges right down to my girls and a wire underneath so they are pushed up high on my chest.
So I guess I'm skanky Gidget today.
"There's no shoes," I call out.
"Just go barefoot," Ronin says, peeking over the door at me.
"Do you mind?"
He responds by opening the door and stepping into the dressing room with me. "Turn around," he says, twirling his finger at me. "I'll zip you up."
Oh. I turn and he zips. "I thought you were shooting with me?"
"I am."
"Then how come you're not dressed?"
"I am."
"You're wearing jeans and a t-shirt, like you always do."
"Rook, no one gives a shit what I wear. They want me naked and if I'm not naked, then I'm just there to make you look good until we do get naked."
My face has got to be scarlet red. "Oh."
"Ready then?"
"Ready as I'll ever be, I guess." Ronin takes my hand and leads me out to the terrace and when I step over that threshold I feel it in my bones. Nothing about my life will ever be the same after this. I'm just not sure if that's a good or bad thing just yet.
Chapter Twenty-Seven - ROOK
I am lost in my own thoughts as Ronin leads me across the terrace to the cherry trees. Antoine and Elise are sitting at one of the picnic tables, chatting and smiling. There is no one else around, not even a light person. This makes me let out a long exhale and Ronin squeezes my hand. "You OK?" he asks, stopping for a moment to get my response.
"Yeah, I'm just glad there's not a lot of people around."
"I set it up that way, Rook. Just let me take care of things now, OK?"
I nod so he'll drop it, but this control stuff with him is really setting me back. He acts like I'm not allowed to question him.
We've reached Antoine and Elise now and they are talking, both to me and to Ronin, but I just nod my head and agree because I have no idea what they're talking about. Technical stuff. Natural light, Antoine says. I look around and yes, sure enough, the sun is shining right into the middle of the cherry trees on the east side of the terrace.
I study the 'set' and notice that the swing I was sitting in the other night is not even attached to the tree branches, it's attached to a long green pole that spans the entire grove. There's a picnic set up on the grass, complete with wine glasses, cheese, and a bowl of cherries. The blanket isn't checkered though, it's a crisp white with cotton lace on the edges, and there are cherry blossom petals all over the place. I'm not sure if that was planned or not, because each time the wind blows, those boughs, heavy with the sweet-smelling flowers, release dozens of them at a time.
Everything about these trees says climax. The flowers are mature, falling off and getting ready for the tree to bear fruit over the summer. It's a single moment in time that will be captured on digital film for eternity.
And I'm part of that.
I get the chills and Ronin, still talking to Antoine and Elise, absently pulls me closer to him, like he senses my needs and wants to keep me warm.
It's all very confusing. I like that he notices when I'm having a problem and need something, but I don't like relying on him for stuff and I hate the fact that he's allowed to make decisions for me. It's too personal.
But that's what this contract is all about though, isn't it? I've basically given them my body in exchange for money. And I just have to trust that they will not take advantage of me.
I think I feel sick. He gets to weigh me? "What if I don't?"
"Why do you care if I weigh you?" he asks with an annoyed look on his face.
"It's degrading. You're reducing me to a number."
"It's not just a number, it's an indicator."
I turn as my whole body goes hot with anger. "Indicator of what?"
"Of whether or not you are following the rules we have in place for keeping the models looking a certain way."
He waits as I process what he just said and then reads my silence as acceptance and pushes me until I step on the scale. He steps around to the other side and writes the number down in a tablet. I can't see the number because it's hidden from this side.
"Well?"
"Well, what?" he asks, pushing me to move off the scale and shaking the garment bag at me.
"How much do I weigh?"
"It's just a number, Rook. I never tell the girls how much they weigh."
"Why not? It seems pretty stupid to weigh people and then keep it a secret if you ask me."
"Because I'm not interested in what you weigh, only in whether or not you change from the weight you are now."
I snatch the bag from him and walk away. I am so f**king glad I did not decide to rely on Ronin Flynn, because he's an ass**le. I choose the same dressing room as I did yesterday and unzip the bag to look at the clothes.
It's a pink knee-length dress and it's straight out of Gidget. I stand on my tip toes and peek over the door.
Ronin smiles and waves his finger at me from down the hall.
There's no underwear or bra again.
I slip out of my clothes and pull the dress on. It's got a squared-off neckline that plunges right down to my girls and a wire underneath so they are pushed up high on my chest.
So I guess I'm skanky Gidget today.
"There's no shoes," I call out.
"Just go barefoot," Ronin says, peeking over the door at me.
"Do you mind?"
He responds by opening the door and stepping into the dressing room with me. "Turn around," he says, twirling his finger at me. "I'll zip you up."
Oh. I turn and he zips. "I thought you were shooting with me?"
"I am."
"Then how come you're not dressed?"
"I am."
"You're wearing jeans and a t-shirt, like you always do."
"Rook, no one gives a shit what I wear. They want me naked and if I'm not naked, then I'm just there to make you look good until we do get naked."
My face has got to be scarlet red. "Oh."
"Ready then?"
"Ready as I'll ever be, I guess." Ronin takes my hand and leads me out to the terrace and when I step over that threshold I feel it in my bones. Nothing about my life will ever be the same after this. I'm just not sure if that's a good or bad thing just yet.
Chapter Twenty-Seven - ROOK
I am lost in my own thoughts as Ronin leads me across the terrace to the cherry trees. Antoine and Elise are sitting at one of the picnic tables, chatting and smiling. There is no one else around, not even a light person. This makes me let out a long exhale and Ronin squeezes my hand. "You OK?" he asks, stopping for a moment to get my response.
"Yeah, I'm just glad there's not a lot of people around."
"I set it up that way, Rook. Just let me take care of things now, OK?"
I nod so he'll drop it, but this control stuff with him is really setting me back. He acts like I'm not allowed to question him.
We've reached Antoine and Elise now and they are talking, both to me and to Ronin, but I just nod my head and agree because I have no idea what they're talking about. Technical stuff. Natural light, Antoine says. I look around and yes, sure enough, the sun is shining right into the middle of the cherry trees on the east side of the terrace.
I study the 'set' and notice that the swing I was sitting in the other night is not even attached to the tree branches, it's attached to a long green pole that spans the entire grove. There's a picnic set up on the grass, complete with wine glasses, cheese, and a bowl of cherries. The blanket isn't checkered though, it's a crisp white with cotton lace on the edges, and there are cherry blossom petals all over the place. I'm not sure if that was planned or not, because each time the wind blows, those boughs, heavy with the sweet-smelling flowers, release dozens of them at a time.
Everything about these trees says climax. The flowers are mature, falling off and getting ready for the tree to bear fruit over the summer. It's a single moment in time that will be captured on digital film for eternity.
And I'm part of that.
I get the chills and Ronin, still talking to Antoine and Elise, absently pulls me closer to him, like he senses my needs and wants to keep me warm.
It's all very confusing. I like that he notices when I'm having a problem and need something, but I don't like relying on him for stuff and I hate the fact that he's allowed to make decisions for me. It's too personal.
But that's what this contract is all about though, isn't it? I've basically given them my body in exchange for money. And I just have to trust that they will not take advantage of me.
