Tragic
Page 48
I almost snort some ice out of my nose at this one.
Ronin doesn't even flinch, he just promises to send the couple an invitation once we nail it down.
I smile into my water glass at that.
The night just flies by and before I know it Ronin is writing a check and then we're huddling underneath a large black umbrella as we make our way back to the parking lot in the pouring rain.
We both scoot into the back into the car and breathe a sigh of relief.
"Was it fun, Gidge?" Ronin asks me as he brings my legs up over his lap, then slips my shoes off my aching feet and starts to rub them.
"Yes, it was fun… oh, God, that feels good!"
"I told you I was gonna touch you all the way home."
And all during the night, which he did. I can barely recall a second when his hand was not on me in some way. If it wasn't draped over the back of my chair, gently teasing the back of my neck, it was on my knee, squeezing lightly as the other couples did their best to embarrass us with questions about babies.
But the really interesting thing about all this touching is how I feel about it. A few days ago I might have seen it as possessive, but tonight it felt like affection. Maybe that means I'm getting over some of the bad things that happened to me in Chicago?
I hope so. Because I like Ronin Flynn for sure now.
"What're you thinking about?" Ronin asks me as the town car makes its way through the traffic in the parking lot.
"Just kinda reevaluating my thoughts on certain things." I shoot him a sideways glance. "About you mostly."
"Yeah? Is that good or bad?'
"Good, I think. I mean, I'm still a bit of a mess personally. But maybe I was wrong about you? Maybe you are a good guy?"
"Did you really think I was a bad guy?" he says, his brow in a furrow.
"No. Yes. Well," I sigh. "I'm probably not the best judge right now, Ronin. I'm tainted by past experiences, so I'm not sure I can tell the difference anymore."
"Well, let me ask you this, have I ever hurt you?"
"No."
"Did the last guy hurt you?"
I look away and let the question hang there as I take a deep breath. "Very badly," I finally manage.
"So now you doubt your decisions? About choosing the right guy to date?"
"Sorta."
He waits because we both know that's not an answer.
"I just never want to get in that situation again. I never want to be controlled like that. What I do want," I say, looking him in the eye now, "is to be myself and not get mowed down by a boyfriend's personality, or dreams, or needs. I want to make my own money so I never have to depend on a guy again. Does that make any sense?" He nods, slowly. His hands are still massaging my feet and I lean my head sideways on the back of the seat and try to relax as I listen to the rain pound the roof of the car.
"I get it, Rook. I have the same problem, except in reverse."
I open my eyes and look at him. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I have this rule that I won't date a model, right? I mean, I break it all the time," he laughs a little, "obviously. But the part I won't break is where these encounters will end up. I want a normal life with a normal family. I don't want to bring kids up in Antoine's studio. I don't want my wife taking her clothes off so I can touch her in front of the camera. I want boring. I want kids in Catholic school and a minivan filled with car seats. And I have no idea how long this thing with Antoine's studio will last, but I'm pretty sure that I'd rather die than be the father of a teenage girl who runs the models at an erotic art photography studio."
I smile a little at that thought. He's right. That's a disaster waiting to happen.
The car pulls into the studio parking garage and Ronin slips my shoes back on. We wait for the driver in silence, then make our way to the elevator and head on upstairs.
"So where's that leave us?" Ronin asks.
I shrug. "I dunno," I say honestly. I have never fantasized about getting married and having children, not even as a child, because I have no good memories of that kind of life. But this seems to be a big deal to Ronin and I don't want to ruin our perfect night, so I follow up my shrug with something evasive. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens."
Chapter Thirty-Three - RONIN
When the elevator doors open Rook and I are bombarded with studio lights and general chaos. Elise is barking orders at technicians and Antoine spies us from across the room and is already yelling out in French as he crosses the distance.
"What's going on?" Rook asks me.
"Rain shoot," I say, picking up every third word coming out of Antoine's mouth due to the scraping of a ladder across the floor. I feel Rook tense at the screeching noise. "We have to get a shot in the rain for TRAGIC." I should've anticipated this, really. But I stopped thinking about work hours ago.
I put my hand up as Antoine approaches, but I know it's useless. There's no getting out of it, we have to shoot tonight. Now. "Go with Elise, she'll get you ready."
"Wait." She grabs a hold of my arm. "We have to work right now?"
"Yeah, sounds like fun, huh?"
She rolls her eyes at me.
"Rook, nine times out of ten, being a model sucks. Better get used to it if this is the life you want." I push her towards Elise and sigh. I know it's a dig at her declaration of independence, but I can't help it. The last thing I want is this girl half naked in the cold rain at night. But it's in the contract that we get a rain shot, so it must be done.
Ronin doesn't even flinch, he just promises to send the couple an invitation once we nail it down.
I smile into my water glass at that.
The night just flies by and before I know it Ronin is writing a check and then we're huddling underneath a large black umbrella as we make our way back to the parking lot in the pouring rain.
We both scoot into the back into the car and breathe a sigh of relief.
"Was it fun, Gidge?" Ronin asks me as he brings my legs up over his lap, then slips my shoes off my aching feet and starts to rub them.
"Yes, it was fun… oh, God, that feels good!"
"I told you I was gonna touch you all the way home."
And all during the night, which he did. I can barely recall a second when his hand was not on me in some way. If it wasn't draped over the back of my chair, gently teasing the back of my neck, it was on my knee, squeezing lightly as the other couples did their best to embarrass us with questions about babies.
But the really interesting thing about all this touching is how I feel about it. A few days ago I might have seen it as possessive, but tonight it felt like affection. Maybe that means I'm getting over some of the bad things that happened to me in Chicago?
I hope so. Because I like Ronin Flynn for sure now.
"What're you thinking about?" Ronin asks me as the town car makes its way through the traffic in the parking lot.
"Just kinda reevaluating my thoughts on certain things." I shoot him a sideways glance. "About you mostly."
"Yeah? Is that good or bad?'
"Good, I think. I mean, I'm still a bit of a mess personally. But maybe I was wrong about you? Maybe you are a good guy?"
"Did you really think I was a bad guy?" he says, his brow in a furrow.
"No. Yes. Well," I sigh. "I'm probably not the best judge right now, Ronin. I'm tainted by past experiences, so I'm not sure I can tell the difference anymore."
"Well, let me ask you this, have I ever hurt you?"
"No."
"Did the last guy hurt you?"
I look away and let the question hang there as I take a deep breath. "Very badly," I finally manage.
"So now you doubt your decisions? About choosing the right guy to date?"
"Sorta."
He waits because we both know that's not an answer.
"I just never want to get in that situation again. I never want to be controlled like that. What I do want," I say, looking him in the eye now, "is to be myself and not get mowed down by a boyfriend's personality, or dreams, or needs. I want to make my own money so I never have to depend on a guy again. Does that make any sense?" He nods, slowly. His hands are still massaging my feet and I lean my head sideways on the back of the seat and try to relax as I listen to the rain pound the roof of the car.
"I get it, Rook. I have the same problem, except in reverse."
I open my eyes and look at him. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I have this rule that I won't date a model, right? I mean, I break it all the time," he laughs a little, "obviously. But the part I won't break is where these encounters will end up. I want a normal life with a normal family. I don't want to bring kids up in Antoine's studio. I don't want my wife taking her clothes off so I can touch her in front of the camera. I want boring. I want kids in Catholic school and a minivan filled with car seats. And I have no idea how long this thing with Antoine's studio will last, but I'm pretty sure that I'd rather die than be the father of a teenage girl who runs the models at an erotic art photography studio."
I smile a little at that thought. He's right. That's a disaster waiting to happen.
The car pulls into the studio parking garage and Ronin slips my shoes back on. We wait for the driver in silence, then make our way to the elevator and head on upstairs.
"So where's that leave us?" Ronin asks.
I shrug. "I dunno," I say honestly. I have never fantasized about getting married and having children, not even as a child, because I have no good memories of that kind of life. But this seems to be a big deal to Ronin and I don't want to ruin our perfect night, so I follow up my shrug with something evasive. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens."
Chapter Thirty-Three - RONIN
When the elevator doors open Rook and I are bombarded with studio lights and general chaos. Elise is barking orders at technicians and Antoine spies us from across the room and is already yelling out in French as he crosses the distance.
"What's going on?" Rook asks me.
"Rain shoot," I say, picking up every third word coming out of Antoine's mouth due to the scraping of a ladder across the floor. I feel Rook tense at the screeching noise. "We have to get a shot in the rain for TRAGIC." I should've anticipated this, really. But I stopped thinking about work hours ago.
I put my hand up as Antoine approaches, but I know it's useless. There's no getting out of it, we have to shoot tonight. Now. "Go with Elise, she'll get you ready."
"Wait." She grabs a hold of my arm. "We have to work right now?"
"Yeah, sounds like fun, huh?"
She rolls her eyes at me.
"Rook, nine times out of ten, being a model sucks. Better get used to it if this is the life you want." I push her towards Elise and sigh. I know it's a dig at her declaration of independence, but I can't help it. The last thing I want is this girl half naked in the cold rain at night. But it's in the contract that we get a rain shot, so it must be done.
