Trailer Park Heart
Page 2
“You invited me,” I reminded him, trying to keep the panic from invading my careful disdain. If this had been a prank for him to humiliate me one last time, I would kill him. Or at least spread a rumor about his tiny penis and the three different types of STDs he carried.
“Oh, right,” he said, snapping his fingers.
I waited for more, for the shoe to drop or the guillotine to fall or something to happen, but he just stood there looking at me. “Why is that?” I finally asked. “Four years of parties, Levi, and this is the first one I’ve gotten a formal invitation to.”
“That’s not true. You’ve been invited before.”
“Not seriously.”
“Always seriously,” he countered. It was hard not to believe him when he looked at me like that, with his mossy green eyes intensely flashing and his jaw ticking with impatience.
I shrugged, pretending it was no big deal. “I came to see Logan,” I explained casually. “It’s probably the last time I’ll see him before I go off to college. I wanted to say goodbye.” My throat dried out at the possibility of seeing Levi’s older brother. He’d skipped college and enlisted right after high school. Two years our senior, he was everything this town looked up to. The Coles had given Clark City two celebrities. And now Logan was a war hero, at least in our small town’s eyes, which made him a demi-god or something.
Yet he wasn’t those things to me. He was just a friend and a nice guy that had always been kind to me.
Oh, and the love of my life. Maybe. Okay, I wasn’t totally sold on that. But I’d had a crush on him for as long as I could remember. Once I left for college, I had no plans to return to this town and so that meant if something was ever going to happen with Logan, it would have to happen now or never. Tonight was likely the last time he and I would happen to be in town at the same time before I left forever.
My last chance to cross the biggest item off my bucket list. Actually, two items. It was a short enough list that this party pretty much took care of everything. As long as I remained proactive.
Go to a party.
Do something reckless.
Try an alcoholic beverage.
Make out with Logan Cole.
Lose my virginity.
Easy. Right?
Only time would tell.
Levi looked away, his jaw popping again. “You came to see Logan? You and half the town. Good luck getting an audience with him.”
I swallowed around a nervous lump in my throat. That was exactly what I was worried about. Logan and I were friends, but he had a long list of better friends that would want to hang out with him. He was nice to me, but only because he was nice to everybody. I had no idea how I would catch his attention tonight. I hadn’t even anticipated coming to this party at all. And I was too embarrassed to share my bucket list with Coco or my crazy plans for the night. So, I was doing something I almost never did. Showed up without a plan. I was just going to… wing it. “Maybe you could help me?”
Levi’s gaze found mine again and I could see the wheels in his head turning. He was working on a plan, something to keep me from my goal. But he should remember that I was valedictorian and he was only salutatorian. Which meant he was second place. And I was one step ahead of him.
Always.
Er, at least sometimes.
“Help you?” he asked, sounding as surprised as I felt asking him for help.
I shrugged, pretending like I didn’t care either way. “You know, make up for how you treated me for oh, the last eighteen years of my life.”
“Treated you?” He laughed. “You’re serious?”
I raised a single eyebrow. “Or you could just do it because you’re secretly a nice guy.” Honestly, I didn’t think he was secretly a nice guy, but he was the kind of guy that liked having his ego stroked.
“Bullshit, Ruby,” he said, calling me out. “You’re trying to manipulate me.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Somehow, despite our mutual hatred for each other, he knew me better than anyone else. “Is it working?”
He let out a shaky breath and I decided that no matter how he smelled, he must have been drinking. Because he sounded unsure. Nervous even. And Levi Cole was never either of those two things. Surprising me, he grabbed my hand and tugged me closer to him. “I’ll help you talk to my brother when he gets here if you have a drink with me first.”
It was my turn to parrot his demand back as a question. “A drink with you?”
He nodded. “It’s a win-win for you. You get to hang out with me and Logan. Every girl’s hottest fantasy.”
I rolled my eyes. “Is this a trick?”
He shook his head, stepping even closer. “Not a trick.”
My heart kicked in my chest, responding to the touch of his hand against mine and the sound of his voice so gentle and deep. God, it showed how deprived of attention I was. This man was my nemesis and yet he’d managed to light up my entire body with the tiniest touch and the smell of clean laundry.
“Okay. Let’s get a drink.” The wine coolers had spoken.
“Not here though,” he murmured. He led me through the house, grabbing two cold beers on the way.
We found an unoccupied room upstairs that led to a small balcony. This was his girlfriend’s house, of course he knew where he was going. But I wondered if I did. I’d hated Levi for as long as I could remember. My animosity for him was the armor that got me through the school day. He was part of the incentive to get me out of this town. We’d always been enemies, so why was I here with him? Why had I let him take my hand and lead me to this quiet room without a fight? Why even now, in his girlfriend’s house, was my heart beating in that way it always did around him?
Most importantly, why wasn’t I running? Levi always made me run. These inexplicable flutterings were the reason I was running to college, as fast as I could go. Instinctively, I knew, whatever Levi made me feel was dangerous. And I needed to stay as far away from him as possible.
That meant this room was dangerous. And I should leave. I should stick with my plan. I should remember my party goals and abandon Levi’s help.
And yet… the push and pull that had always existed between us felt different tonight. There was more pull for starters. And I didn’t want to push Levi away right now. I wanted to… I didn’t know what I wanted to do.
The bucket list burned in my pocket. I thought about bringing up Kristen again. Talking about his girlfriend usually doused whatever simmered between us in ice cold water. But I couldn’t bring myself to say her name. Not then or for the next two hours as we talked about everything but Kristen or Logan.
Instead, we enjoyed our beers and laughed about our past and the crazy things we did to each other over the years. Eventually we found ourselves lying on our backs, staring up at the sky, counting stars and talking about the future.
“I’m never coming back here,” I whispered to him, the words springing to life once they hit the cool night air. “I’m leaving for college and I’m never coming back. I never want to see this town again.”
He turned his head from the sky and stared at the side of my face. “What about your mom?”
“She can come visit me. Any time she wants. I just… I can’t come back to this place and that trailer and face this world ever again.”
“Was it really that bad? Was I really that bad?”
“Oh, right,” he said, snapping his fingers.
I waited for more, for the shoe to drop or the guillotine to fall or something to happen, but he just stood there looking at me. “Why is that?” I finally asked. “Four years of parties, Levi, and this is the first one I’ve gotten a formal invitation to.”
“That’s not true. You’ve been invited before.”
“Not seriously.”
“Always seriously,” he countered. It was hard not to believe him when he looked at me like that, with his mossy green eyes intensely flashing and his jaw ticking with impatience.
I shrugged, pretending it was no big deal. “I came to see Logan,” I explained casually. “It’s probably the last time I’ll see him before I go off to college. I wanted to say goodbye.” My throat dried out at the possibility of seeing Levi’s older brother. He’d skipped college and enlisted right after high school. Two years our senior, he was everything this town looked up to. The Coles had given Clark City two celebrities. And now Logan was a war hero, at least in our small town’s eyes, which made him a demi-god or something.
Yet he wasn’t those things to me. He was just a friend and a nice guy that had always been kind to me.
Oh, and the love of my life. Maybe. Okay, I wasn’t totally sold on that. But I’d had a crush on him for as long as I could remember. Once I left for college, I had no plans to return to this town and so that meant if something was ever going to happen with Logan, it would have to happen now or never. Tonight was likely the last time he and I would happen to be in town at the same time before I left forever.
My last chance to cross the biggest item off my bucket list. Actually, two items. It was a short enough list that this party pretty much took care of everything. As long as I remained proactive.
Go to a party.
Do something reckless.
Try an alcoholic beverage.
Make out with Logan Cole.
Lose my virginity.
Easy. Right?
Only time would tell.
Levi looked away, his jaw popping again. “You came to see Logan? You and half the town. Good luck getting an audience with him.”
I swallowed around a nervous lump in my throat. That was exactly what I was worried about. Logan and I were friends, but he had a long list of better friends that would want to hang out with him. He was nice to me, but only because he was nice to everybody. I had no idea how I would catch his attention tonight. I hadn’t even anticipated coming to this party at all. And I was too embarrassed to share my bucket list with Coco or my crazy plans for the night. So, I was doing something I almost never did. Showed up without a plan. I was just going to… wing it. “Maybe you could help me?”
Levi’s gaze found mine again and I could see the wheels in his head turning. He was working on a plan, something to keep me from my goal. But he should remember that I was valedictorian and he was only salutatorian. Which meant he was second place. And I was one step ahead of him.
Always.
Er, at least sometimes.
“Help you?” he asked, sounding as surprised as I felt asking him for help.
I shrugged, pretending like I didn’t care either way. “You know, make up for how you treated me for oh, the last eighteen years of my life.”
“Treated you?” He laughed. “You’re serious?”
I raised a single eyebrow. “Or you could just do it because you’re secretly a nice guy.” Honestly, I didn’t think he was secretly a nice guy, but he was the kind of guy that liked having his ego stroked.
“Bullshit, Ruby,” he said, calling me out. “You’re trying to manipulate me.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Somehow, despite our mutual hatred for each other, he knew me better than anyone else. “Is it working?”
He let out a shaky breath and I decided that no matter how he smelled, he must have been drinking. Because he sounded unsure. Nervous even. And Levi Cole was never either of those two things. Surprising me, he grabbed my hand and tugged me closer to him. “I’ll help you talk to my brother when he gets here if you have a drink with me first.”
It was my turn to parrot his demand back as a question. “A drink with you?”
He nodded. “It’s a win-win for you. You get to hang out with me and Logan. Every girl’s hottest fantasy.”
I rolled my eyes. “Is this a trick?”
He shook his head, stepping even closer. “Not a trick.”
My heart kicked in my chest, responding to the touch of his hand against mine and the sound of his voice so gentle and deep. God, it showed how deprived of attention I was. This man was my nemesis and yet he’d managed to light up my entire body with the tiniest touch and the smell of clean laundry.
“Okay. Let’s get a drink.” The wine coolers had spoken.
“Not here though,” he murmured. He led me through the house, grabbing two cold beers on the way.
We found an unoccupied room upstairs that led to a small balcony. This was his girlfriend’s house, of course he knew where he was going. But I wondered if I did. I’d hated Levi for as long as I could remember. My animosity for him was the armor that got me through the school day. He was part of the incentive to get me out of this town. We’d always been enemies, so why was I here with him? Why had I let him take my hand and lead me to this quiet room without a fight? Why even now, in his girlfriend’s house, was my heart beating in that way it always did around him?
Most importantly, why wasn’t I running? Levi always made me run. These inexplicable flutterings were the reason I was running to college, as fast as I could go. Instinctively, I knew, whatever Levi made me feel was dangerous. And I needed to stay as far away from him as possible.
That meant this room was dangerous. And I should leave. I should stick with my plan. I should remember my party goals and abandon Levi’s help.
And yet… the push and pull that had always existed between us felt different tonight. There was more pull for starters. And I didn’t want to push Levi away right now. I wanted to… I didn’t know what I wanted to do.
The bucket list burned in my pocket. I thought about bringing up Kristen again. Talking about his girlfriend usually doused whatever simmered between us in ice cold water. But I couldn’t bring myself to say her name. Not then or for the next two hours as we talked about everything but Kristen or Logan.
Instead, we enjoyed our beers and laughed about our past and the crazy things we did to each other over the years. Eventually we found ourselves lying on our backs, staring up at the sky, counting stars and talking about the future.
“I’m never coming back here,” I whispered to him, the words springing to life once they hit the cool night air. “I’m leaving for college and I’m never coming back. I never want to see this town again.”
He turned his head from the sky and stared at the side of my face. “What about your mom?”
“She can come visit me. Any time she wants. I just… I can’t come back to this place and that trailer and face this world ever again.”
“Was it really that bad? Was I really that bad?”
