Trailer Park Heart
Page 22
That was weird, right?
That would have been a weird thing to do.
Good lord, what was wrong with me?
“It’ll be fun,” he coaxed, when I didn’t answer him. “We can reminisce about how mean you were to me in high school.”
“Levi, it’s sweet of you to offer, but—”
“But you’d like to pay?” he jumped in, a teasing smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “I insist on paying, Ruby. It’s not that I don’t believe in all that equality stuff, it’s just that I’m the one dragging you away from your very busy life and so I feel like it’s my duty to provide sustenance and libations.”
Feeling increasingly flustered, I ran a hand through my wild hair. It got tangled halfway through and I had to tug my fingers free. “It’s not that, it’s just that—”
“Mommy!”
Oh no.
Oh shit.
“Mommy!”
Max.
Levi and I turned at the same time, both of our eyes wide—mine with fear and his with confusion.
I caught Max as he threw himself at me, launching himself so his arms landed around my waist. “Mommy!” he squealed happily.
Wrapping my arms around his back, I raised my eyebrows at my mom. She looked as rough and haggard as eight miles of bad road. Her graying hair was piled haphazardly on top of her head and her oversized Pink Floyd t-shirt was shoved into a cheap pleather skirt. There was a shadow of the beauty she used to be in there somewhere, but for the most part, Maxine Dawson was as intimidating as they got.
“He wanted some chicken.” She shrugged. “He was getting a little jittery after all the candy. I figured he could use some grease.”
There were just so many things in that explanation I wanted to tackle. For instance, why all the candy? She was the adult. She could stop the candy at any time. Also the grease—pretty sure that wasn’t going to solve his sugar high.
Instead, I hugged Max tighter to my body, shielding him from Levi’s watchful gaze. “Chicken? I thought you were more of a spaghetti guy.”
“There’s spaghetti?” He rested his chin on my belly and looked up at me.
“At Lorenzo’s. With meatballs.”
He pushed away from my body and before I could stop him, he’d spun around to face my mom. “Grammy, you never told me there was spaghetti.”
She shrugged again. “I figured your mom could get you the chicken for free.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Levi’s head whip back and forth between my mom and son. Max was my mini me. Except for those green eyes, he was my spitting image. My dark curly hair, my straight nose, my non-dimpled smile. Sure, he was taller and smarter than most of the kids in his class and incredibly athletic for his age, but that could have been passed down from any man.
Levi’s words bounced around in my head, feeding the panicked fire in my gut. She’s obsessed with finding the right match to carry on the Cole family name.
That so wasn’t me. I wasn’t the right match. I wasn’t the right candidate to create a Cole legacy.
I ruffled Max’s hair with my hand and loved the feel of his bouncy curls. I did make a great kid though. She couldn’t argue with me about that.
Quickly reaching into my apron, I pulled out a ten-dollar bill. “Here, Mom. Take the boy for some spaghetti. I’m done in about an hour.”
“Can we get ice cream, too?” he asked me with big eyes, and I melted on the inside.
“Yeah, maybe.” I couldn’t help but smile at him. “Be good for Grammy though, yeah?”
“Yay!” he cheered, pumping his fists in the air like he’d just won the biggest competition.
My mom took the cash from my hand. “Is there enough here for me?”
I handed her another ten, completely embarrassed. “Now there is.”
“Come on, kiddo,” she told Max gruffly. He ran along beside her as she led him across the courthouse grounds.
Levi stared after them, his arms crossed over his chest, that muscle in his jaw pulsing again.
“Your parents are seated,” I said quickly, desperate to refocus him. I took a step back. “I should grab them menus.”
“You have a son?” His voice was steel in the night air, hard and unyielding.
I sucked in a steadying breath and wondered how he didn’t know. He and I hadn’t spoken over the years, but surely someone else had spilled the story. One of his friends or his parents. It wasn’t a secret. Actually, it was the opposite—a hot topic everyone loved to speculate about. “I do. His name is Max.”
His head snapped to the side and his glare hit me full force. “You named him after your mom?”
The way he asked the question implied that was the dumbest thing I could have ever done. My hackles instantly raised, and I prepared for war. “Yeah, after my mom. What’s it to you?”
“Who’s the dad?”
“I don’t like your tone, Levi.” My heart hammered in my chest and my fingers turned to ice. “And it’s none of your business.”
He took a step closer to me, his eyes practically glowing. “You never answered my calls that summer. You never called me back.” His words were the uncovering of a secret, a mystery he had always wondered about. “I knew we’d had our differences, but then… the night of Kristen’s party… we’d talked for hours. I just thought…”
“I got pregnant,” I confirmed. There were certain things I wouldn’t, couldn’t tell him. But this was common knowledge. “I, uh, I didn’t know what to say.”
“Because you were pregnant,” he said slower. He took another step forward, but then retreated two. “Were you pregnant when we kissed? Did you know at the party?”
Horrified he would even ask, I quickly said, “No. God, no. Levi, come on.”
“You got pregnant after we were together?”
“Yes. After.” And it was true. Granted, it wasn’t long after. Not like weeks or even days… but he’d left me because he was ashamed and went to find his girlfriend! And I thought I was in love with—
Who I had loved didn’t matter. What happened wasn’t something I was proud of. But I had been over this a hundred times in my head. It did happen. And now I had Max and I couldn’t regret that.
There was a look like heartbreak in his eyes. “You could have told me.”
“What would you have said?” I asked him. “It was one kiss, Levi. I figured the pregnancy killed whatever there was between…” I trailed off, not knowing what I was going to say or wanted to say or how I could even imply there was something between us when I’d slept with his brother almost immediately after he kissed me. “The pregnancy changed a lot of things for me.”
His gaze moved over my body again, taking in my waitress uniform with fresh eyes. “That’s why you stuck around here.”
“Listen, Levi, this trip down memory lane has been fun and all, but your parents are waiting for you and I need to get back to work.”
“Right.” He continued to stare at me.
“I’ll see you around, okay?” I fled before he could ask any more questions or study me more or just act like his stupid self. I had to get away from him.
In a way, I was relieved he’d seen Max. Now he knew. I didn’t have to try to avoid him at all costs now that he was back in town. That part of my life was all out in the open.
That would have been a weird thing to do.
Good lord, what was wrong with me?
“It’ll be fun,” he coaxed, when I didn’t answer him. “We can reminisce about how mean you were to me in high school.”
“Levi, it’s sweet of you to offer, but—”
“But you’d like to pay?” he jumped in, a teasing smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “I insist on paying, Ruby. It’s not that I don’t believe in all that equality stuff, it’s just that I’m the one dragging you away from your very busy life and so I feel like it’s my duty to provide sustenance and libations.”
Feeling increasingly flustered, I ran a hand through my wild hair. It got tangled halfway through and I had to tug my fingers free. “It’s not that, it’s just that—”
“Mommy!”
Oh no.
Oh shit.
“Mommy!”
Max.
Levi and I turned at the same time, both of our eyes wide—mine with fear and his with confusion.
I caught Max as he threw himself at me, launching himself so his arms landed around my waist. “Mommy!” he squealed happily.
Wrapping my arms around his back, I raised my eyebrows at my mom. She looked as rough and haggard as eight miles of bad road. Her graying hair was piled haphazardly on top of her head and her oversized Pink Floyd t-shirt was shoved into a cheap pleather skirt. There was a shadow of the beauty she used to be in there somewhere, but for the most part, Maxine Dawson was as intimidating as they got.
“He wanted some chicken.” She shrugged. “He was getting a little jittery after all the candy. I figured he could use some grease.”
There were just so many things in that explanation I wanted to tackle. For instance, why all the candy? She was the adult. She could stop the candy at any time. Also the grease—pretty sure that wasn’t going to solve his sugar high.
Instead, I hugged Max tighter to my body, shielding him from Levi’s watchful gaze. “Chicken? I thought you were more of a spaghetti guy.”
“There’s spaghetti?” He rested his chin on my belly and looked up at me.
“At Lorenzo’s. With meatballs.”
He pushed away from my body and before I could stop him, he’d spun around to face my mom. “Grammy, you never told me there was spaghetti.”
She shrugged again. “I figured your mom could get you the chicken for free.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Levi’s head whip back and forth between my mom and son. Max was my mini me. Except for those green eyes, he was my spitting image. My dark curly hair, my straight nose, my non-dimpled smile. Sure, he was taller and smarter than most of the kids in his class and incredibly athletic for his age, but that could have been passed down from any man.
Levi’s words bounced around in my head, feeding the panicked fire in my gut. She’s obsessed with finding the right match to carry on the Cole family name.
That so wasn’t me. I wasn’t the right match. I wasn’t the right candidate to create a Cole legacy.
I ruffled Max’s hair with my hand and loved the feel of his bouncy curls. I did make a great kid though. She couldn’t argue with me about that.
Quickly reaching into my apron, I pulled out a ten-dollar bill. “Here, Mom. Take the boy for some spaghetti. I’m done in about an hour.”
“Can we get ice cream, too?” he asked me with big eyes, and I melted on the inside.
“Yeah, maybe.” I couldn’t help but smile at him. “Be good for Grammy though, yeah?”
“Yay!” he cheered, pumping his fists in the air like he’d just won the biggest competition.
My mom took the cash from my hand. “Is there enough here for me?”
I handed her another ten, completely embarrassed. “Now there is.”
“Come on, kiddo,” she told Max gruffly. He ran along beside her as she led him across the courthouse grounds.
Levi stared after them, his arms crossed over his chest, that muscle in his jaw pulsing again.
“Your parents are seated,” I said quickly, desperate to refocus him. I took a step back. “I should grab them menus.”
“You have a son?” His voice was steel in the night air, hard and unyielding.
I sucked in a steadying breath and wondered how he didn’t know. He and I hadn’t spoken over the years, but surely someone else had spilled the story. One of his friends or his parents. It wasn’t a secret. Actually, it was the opposite—a hot topic everyone loved to speculate about. “I do. His name is Max.”
His head snapped to the side and his glare hit me full force. “You named him after your mom?”
The way he asked the question implied that was the dumbest thing I could have ever done. My hackles instantly raised, and I prepared for war. “Yeah, after my mom. What’s it to you?”
“Who’s the dad?”
“I don’t like your tone, Levi.” My heart hammered in my chest and my fingers turned to ice. “And it’s none of your business.”
He took a step closer to me, his eyes practically glowing. “You never answered my calls that summer. You never called me back.” His words were the uncovering of a secret, a mystery he had always wondered about. “I knew we’d had our differences, but then… the night of Kristen’s party… we’d talked for hours. I just thought…”
“I got pregnant,” I confirmed. There were certain things I wouldn’t, couldn’t tell him. But this was common knowledge. “I, uh, I didn’t know what to say.”
“Because you were pregnant,” he said slower. He took another step forward, but then retreated two. “Were you pregnant when we kissed? Did you know at the party?”
Horrified he would even ask, I quickly said, “No. God, no. Levi, come on.”
“You got pregnant after we were together?”
“Yes. After.” And it was true. Granted, it wasn’t long after. Not like weeks or even days… but he’d left me because he was ashamed and went to find his girlfriend! And I thought I was in love with—
Who I had loved didn’t matter. What happened wasn’t something I was proud of. But I had been over this a hundred times in my head. It did happen. And now I had Max and I couldn’t regret that.
There was a look like heartbreak in his eyes. “You could have told me.”
“What would you have said?” I asked him. “It was one kiss, Levi. I figured the pregnancy killed whatever there was between…” I trailed off, not knowing what I was going to say or wanted to say or how I could even imply there was something between us when I’d slept with his brother almost immediately after he kissed me. “The pregnancy changed a lot of things for me.”
His gaze moved over my body again, taking in my waitress uniform with fresh eyes. “That’s why you stuck around here.”
“Listen, Levi, this trip down memory lane has been fun and all, but your parents are waiting for you and I need to get back to work.”
“Right.” He continued to stare at me.
“I’ll see you around, okay?” I fled before he could ask any more questions or study me more or just act like his stupid self. I had to get away from him.
In a way, I was relieved he’d seen Max. Now he knew. I didn’t have to try to avoid him at all costs now that he was back in town. That part of my life was all out in the open.
