Trailer Park Heart
Page 47
Max knew the routine and knew not to run off where I couldn’t see him, so he headed for the first stop while Levi fell into step beside me.
I decided that if he brought up our kiss, I was going to die from embarrassment, right here, right now. When Max was a baby, I had made Coco promise to raise Max and only let my mom visit occasionally. She’d sworn on her life and tequila, so I knew she would honor her promise. At the very least, Max would be all right if I died of spontaneous humiliation.
“What’s your game plan, Cole? I know you have better Saturday night options.”
He shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets and staring ahead at Max. “I’m hoping to score some Baby Ruths to be honest. They’re my favorite.”
“Don’t you touch our Baby Ruths,” I gasped. “Those suckers are hard to come by.”
He tilted his head, so I could see his hopeful expression. “Twix?”
“You’ll have to fight Maxine for them.”
He shuddered. “Snickers?”
“Now you’re just being greedy.”
“Fine, I’ll settle for the fruity Tootsie Roll things. Nobody likes those.”
He was wrong about that. I enjoyed the heck out of those things. I raided Max’s bucket every year for those little pieces of goodness, then I tucked them into my waitressing apron for long shifts. They had saved a lot of bad customers from my wrath.
Not because the sugar made me happy. No. They were so chewy, my mouth was usually glued together for ten-minute chunks of time.
But I wasn’t going to admit that to Levi.
“All right, free candy aside, why are you here? What do you want?”
He stared straight ahead again. “I had fun with you at Pug’s.”
A fierce blush stained my cheeks. “I barely saw you at Pug’s.”
“Yeah, but those few minutes I got you alone were memorable.” He cleared his throat and then added, “But they always are with you.”
On instinct I slapped his chest with the back of my hand.
“Ow,” he groaned, rubbing the spot. “What was that for?”
“Levi, that was a total mis—”
“Logan loved superheroes,” he said randomly—or so it seemed. “Not the Hulk really. But we had this ongoing fight over Ironman and Captain America.”
I wanted to ask who liked who, but it wasn’t hard to guess that Logan would root for the military guy.
Not knowing how to respond, I folded my arms across my chest and stuck my frozen fingers under my armpits.
“He would have gotten a kick out of Max dressed up like that.”
An icy chill rolled down my already frozen spine. I didn’t know what to say or how to react. Was that just an odd observation about his deceased brother? Or did Levi suspect something he shouldn’t?
Drop it, my brain told my mouth.
My mouth didn’t listen. “Why are you talking about Logan?” I realized after the words were out of my mouth that my question was incredibly insensitive. Not to mention stupid. He could just be feeling nostalgic for his brother on a night that was usually reserved for family—at least when you were little. The Hulk costume could have truly reminded him of his childhood.
Or he could be throwing veiled accusations at me and hoping I bit on one.
Levi shrugged, and it felt intentionally casual, forced even. “It’s fun watching Max embrace his inner superhero. He looks awesome. Did you paint his face?”
Not ready to accept his compliment, I grumbled, “Some of it rubbed off during dinner.”
“Are you going back for apple cider?”
“How did you—”
“Rosie,” he confessed. “When I realized you were avoiding me, I had to do some recon.”
Rosie. Of course. The helpless romantic.
I knew the real word was hopeless. But Rosie honestly couldn’t help it.
“Levi, I don’t know what you think is happening here, but I’m not in a place where—”
He held up his hands. “I know. I get it. And I like Max a lot. I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t jeopardize that.”
Jeopardize what? I wanted to ask, but I didn’t. I was more afraid of his answer than I was curious about it.
“Okay. What are you doing?” We paused while Max ran up to the husband and wife that ran the hardware store. I waved at Trudy and Cal Pruitt while they doted over Max and his costume. He flexed for them and growled. He was getting really good at this hamming it up thing.
“Didn’t you have fun at Pug’s?” Levi asked in a soft, gentle coax.
“Did you punch Ajax in the face?”
He cleared his throat and said, “I’m not sure who you mean.”
“Did you punch Ajax, Levi?”
He rubbed a hand over his face. “He was saying things he shouldn’t have been saying. I didn’t want to fight him. I just wanted to shut him up.”
“What was he saying?”
“I’d rather not repeat it.”
“Was it about me?”
He didn’t answer.
“You can’t just punch people whenever you don’t like what they’re saying about me. Half the town will have black eyes before tomorrow.”
He turned to face me. His hands were still in his pockets and he wore a sheepish smile, the look in his eyes earnest and open. “Do you like that guy, Ruby? Are you guys… dating or whatever?”
My nose wrinkled, but shame tinged my cheeks red. “What? No. Why would you think that?”
He shook his head, his eyes practically sparkling at this point. Maybe his Halloween costume was a knight in shining armor. “You danced with him all night. He’s clearly into you. And super possessive. I’m just putting the puzzle pieces together.”
“We’re not dating. We were never really dating.”
“That’s not what it looks like.”
I made a sound in the back of my throat and made sure Max was far enough ahead that he couldn’t hear us. “We had a thing, I guess. I wouldn’t call it a relationship because I was the only one monogamously committed to it. But yeah, we kind of saw each other for a couple years.”
“What changed?” His question was posed carefully, thoughtfully.
It made me self-conscious. I wished I could say that I’d started to demand more for myself, respect myself more. I wished I could tell him that I deserved better than casual hookups whenever it was convenient for both of us. But that wasn’t the truth. “He changed,” I said. “I think he’s doing drugs pretty regularly and drinking too much. I refuse to let Max be around that kind of environment.”
“He was around Max?”
I was surprised by the bite of anger in his voice. “Never on purpose,” I quickly explained, wondering why I cared so much about what Levi thought. This was my business and my son. He didn’t get a say in any of it. “But being around me is by proximity around my son.” I shrugged, and it felt final, like my words were infusing my life with their truth. “Anyway, it’s over with him. We danced at Pug’s, but nothing was ever going to happen that night or any other night.”
Levi’s tone gentled with his question. “Are you upset about it?”
Shaking my head, I admitted, “No, not really. Maybe once upon a time, but not anymore. I’ve… outgrown him. And, uh, that kind of relationship.”
He nodded. “I know what you mean.”
I decided that if he brought up our kiss, I was going to die from embarrassment, right here, right now. When Max was a baby, I had made Coco promise to raise Max and only let my mom visit occasionally. She’d sworn on her life and tequila, so I knew she would honor her promise. At the very least, Max would be all right if I died of spontaneous humiliation.
“What’s your game plan, Cole? I know you have better Saturday night options.”
He shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets and staring ahead at Max. “I’m hoping to score some Baby Ruths to be honest. They’re my favorite.”
“Don’t you touch our Baby Ruths,” I gasped. “Those suckers are hard to come by.”
He tilted his head, so I could see his hopeful expression. “Twix?”
“You’ll have to fight Maxine for them.”
He shuddered. “Snickers?”
“Now you’re just being greedy.”
“Fine, I’ll settle for the fruity Tootsie Roll things. Nobody likes those.”
He was wrong about that. I enjoyed the heck out of those things. I raided Max’s bucket every year for those little pieces of goodness, then I tucked them into my waitressing apron for long shifts. They had saved a lot of bad customers from my wrath.
Not because the sugar made me happy. No. They were so chewy, my mouth was usually glued together for ten-minute chunks of time.
But I wasn’t going to admit that to Levi.
“All right, free candy aside, why are you here? What do you want?”
He stared straight ahead again. “I had fun with you at Pug’s.”
A fierce blush stained my cheeks. “I barely saw you at Pug’s.”
“Yeah, but those few minutes I got you alone were memorable.” He cleared his throat and then added, “But they always are with you.”
On instinct I slapped his chest with the back of my hand.
“Ow,” he groaned, rubbing the spot. “What was that for?”
“Levi, that was a total mis—”
“Logan loved superheroes,” he said randomly—or so it seemed. “Not the Hulk really. But we had this ongoing fight over Ironman and Captain America.”
I wanted to ask who liked who, but it wasn’t hard to guess that Logan would root for the military guy.
Not knowing how to respond, I folded my arms across my chest and stuck my frozen fingers under my armpits.
“He would have gotten a kick out of Max dressed up like that.”
An icy chill rolled down my already frozen spine. I didn’t know what to say or how to react. Was that just an odd observation about his deceased brother? Or did Levi suspect something he shouldn’t?
Drop it, my brain told my mouth.
My mouth didn’t listen. “Why are you talking about Logan?” I realized after the words were out of my mouth that my question was incredibly insensitive. Not to mention stupid. He could just be feeling nostalgic for his brother on a night that was usually reserved for family—at least when you were little. The Hulk costume could have truly reminded him of his childhood.
Or he could be throwing veiled accusations at me and hoping I bit on one.
Levi shrugged, and it felt intentionally casual, forced even. “It’s fun watching Max embrace his inner superhero. He looks awesome. Did you paint his face?”
Not ready to accept his compliment, I grumbled, “Some of it rubbed off during dinner.”
“Are you going back for apple cider?”
“How did you—”
“Rosie,” he confessed. “When I realized you were avoiding me, I had to do some recon.”
Rosie. Of course. The helpless romantic.
I knew the real word was hopeless. But Rosie honestly couldn’t help it.
“Levi, I don’t know what you think is happening here, but I’m not in a place where—”
He held up his hands. “I know. I get it. And I like Max a lot. I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t jeopardize that.”
Jeopardize what? I wanted to ask, but I didn’t. I was more afraid of his answer than I was curious about it.
“Okay. What are you doing?” We paused while Max ran up to the husband and wife that ran the hardware store. I waved at Trudy and Cal Pruitt while they doted over Max and his costume. He flexed for them and growled. He was getting really good at this hamming it up thing.
“Didn’t you have fun at Pug’s?” Levi asked in a soft, gentle coax.
“Did you punch Ajax in the face?”
He cleared his throat and said, “I’m not sure who you mean.”
“Did you punch Ajax, Levi?”
He rubbed a hand over his face. “He was saying things he shouldn’t have been saying. I didn’t want to fight him. I just wanted to shut him up.”
“What was he saying?”
“I’d rather not repeat it.”
“Was it about me?”
He didn’t answer.
“You can’t just punch people whenever you don’t like what they’re saying about me. Half the town will have black eyes before tomorrow.”
He turned to face me. His hands were still in his pockets and he wore a sheepish smile, the look in his eyes earnest and open. “Do you like that guy, Ruby? Are you guys… dating or whatever?”
My nose wrinkled, but shame tinged my cheeks red. “What? No. Why would you think that?”
He shook his head, his eyes practically sparkling at this point. Maybe his Halloween costume was a knight in shining armor. “You danced with him all night. He’s clearly into you. And super possessive. I’m just putting the puzzle pieces together.”
“We’re not dating. We were never really dating.”
“That’s not what it looks like.”
I made a sound in the back of my throat and made sure Max was far enough ahead that he couldn’t hear us. “We had a thing, I guess. I wouldn’t call it a relationship because I was the only one monogamously committed to it. But yeah, we kind of saw each other for a couple years.”
“What changed?” His question was posed carefully, thoughtfully.
It made me self-conscious. I wished I could say that I’d started to demand more for myself, respect myself more. I wished I could tell him that I deserved better than casual hookups whenever it was convenient for both of us. But that wasn’t the truth. “He changed,” I said. “I think he’s doing drugs pretty regularly and drinking too much. I refuse to let Max be around that kind of environment.”
“He was around Max?”
I was surprised by the bite of anger in his voice. “Never on purpose,” I quickly explained, wondering why I cared so much about what Levi thought. This was my business and my son. He didn’t get a say in any of it. “But being around me is by proximity around my son.” I shrugged, and it felt final, like my words were infusing my life with their truth. “Anyway, it’s over with him. We danced at Pug’s, but nothing was ever going to happen that night or any other night.”
Levi’s tone gentled with his question. “Are you upset about it?”
Shaking my head, I admitted, “No, not really. Maybe once upon a time, but not anymore. I’ve… outgrown him. And, uh, that kind of relationship.”
He nodded. “I know what you mean.”
