Trailer Park Heart
Page 69
The breath whooshed out of my lungs and my heart dropped to my toes. “What?”
“It’s never been her, Ruby. It’s always been you.” He pursed his lips together and then added in a soft voice I could barely hear over the roar of the crowd and deafening music, “It’s still you.”
I wiggled out of his arms, shaking my head in horror at the painful truth Finch felt necessary to share with me. A quick glance at the crowded dance floor and packed bar area revealed that it was going to take me twenty minutes to squeeze through the crush of bodies. I needed out of here now. I couldn’t breathe in this room. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t… hear those words from Finch and know them to be true in my heart and survive this torturous closeness to Levi. “I need to go,” I shouted at Finch.
He gave me a thumbs up and a frown, then helped me weave through bodies until I was back in the hallway leading to the girl’s bathroom. I rushed through the back exit, gulping in the cold, fresh air on the other side.
My heated skin immediately chilled and goosebumps broke out across my body. Two tears escaped and then froze to my cheeks almost immediately.
God, that place. I seriously needed to stop going there. I was a mom now. There was no reason for me to have a nightlife.
“Rubita,” a voice called from behind me.
Shit, not now.
I turned around and blinked at Ajax. He’d stepped outside to have a cigarette. “Oh, hey, Ajax.”
My ears felt stuffed with cotton after the loud bar and louder music. It was unsettlingly quiet out here. The snow packed ground muffled everything and the still winter night seemed empty of cars and wildlife and sound.
“You haven’t danced with me all night,” he pouted, sticking his lower lip out like a child.
“Yeah, I, uh, I’m here with some friends.” He stepped closer and I noticed how dilated his eyes were.
“I’ve missed you, amor,” he whispered, his fingers skimming over my hip. “In my bed.”
I took a step back, my ankle boots wobbling on the snowy ground. My bare toes were frozen, but I had to deal with this. Ajax didn’t even seem to notice the cold. His skin was super-heated. My smile was shaky, but I managed a regretful look. “Yeah, sorry, Ajax, I don’t think it’s going to work out between us anymore. I have Max to think about. I can’t… be casual with anyone anymore.”
He followed after me, his hand wrapping around my waist this time and tugging me against him. “That can’t be true, Ruby. You do so much for your son. You need to take care of yourself too.”
I pushed back on his shoulder, not liking how aggressively he was holding me. “Yeah, maybe, but what we had is over, Ajax. If I decide I want something, I need it to be with someone that cares about Max, that wants something permanent with me.”
He shrugged. “Then we mess around until then.”
“Stop,” I said firmly. He didn’t. He kept walking forward until my back bumped into the wood shelter of the dumpster. “Stop it, Ajax.”
“Oh, now she doesn’t want it,” he murmured to no one. “She wants a new cowboy. She’s done with the old one.”
“Stop, seriously, Ajax. We were done as soon as you started using.” He rolled his eyes. “For real.”
He shoved me against the fence and I banged my head against the rough wood. “Ow!”
“Now she’s done with me,” he continued to talk to no one. “Now she has the big, bad cowboy and she doesn’t need poor Ajax.”
His hands started moving over my tunic, groping and feeling. “What the hell? Get off me!” I shoved his chest and he flailed backward easier than I thought he would. He fell on his ass and started laughing like a lunatic.
“Leave me alone,” I growled at him. “Don’t ever come near me again.”
He stumbled to his feet, swaying wildly from side to side. “Rubita,” he crooned, throwing his hands toward me. “Oh, don’t be like that. I was just messing around. Come on.” He lunged forward, and I screamed, leaping out of the way of his pawing hands and out of control body.
Levi raced around the corner and stepped in front of me. He swung hard at Ajax, landing a punch on his cheek and sending him back to the ground. “She said to back the fuck off. So back. The. Fuck. Off.”
“Oh, my god, Levi,” I gasped, surprised to see him.
Ajax moaned in a crumpled pile in the snow.
He turned to face me, his hands moving over my arms. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
I shook my head, but I wasn’t sure if I was answering him or if that was the cold making my body tremble. “N-no. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fucking fine,” he growled. He turned a murderous look on Ajax. “Fucking asshole.”
I stared at the unconscious man. “He’s harmless now.”
“For now,” Levi muttered.
“That’s the second time you knocked him out.”
He frowned at me. “The first time wasn’t much of a fight either. He’s a mess.”
“He needs help.”
“Still doesn’t give him the right to fucking touch you.”
I let out a frustrated sigh. “True.”
Levi’s eyes swept over me, taking in my appearance all over again. “Where’s your coat? It’s freezing out here.”
“Er, the car,” I said through chattering teeth, my breath coming out in puffs of white. “I was on my way there.”
“Why?”
His tone was so straight-forward, so confrontational, I couldn’t help but add sass to mine. “Because I was leaving. Is that okay with you?”
“Not if it means getting yourself into trouble in a back alley.”
“I would have been fine.”
His voice dropped low to a scary tone. “No, you would not have been fine.” He pulled out his phone. “Don’t move yet.”
“What are you doing?”
“Texting Blake Upchurch to come deal with this sack of shit.”
Of course, Levi had the chief of police’s number in his cell. He was the golden boy after all. For some reason that really irritated me tonight. I was so tired of him being perfect, of him doing everything right. And I was so exhausted from doing everything wrong.
Turning away from him, I stomped off toward my car. It was three buildings away. “I’m fine now. Thanks for your help, Levi. Goodnight.”
He stalked after me, anger radiating off him. “That’s debatable,” he snarled.
We walked the rest of the way in silence, the snow crunching beneath our feet. I wrapped my arms around my body and tried not to catch hypothermia. I had a million things to say to him, but I bit them down, deciding I’d done enough damage to Levi Cole.
Just because I was miserable and frustrated over him, didn’t mean I needed to punish him. Although that had kind of been my MO for my entire life.
“There,” I said with a flourish of my hand when we’d reached the Corolla. “I made it safely. You can return to your date now.”
He glared at me. “My date?”
“Kristen.”
“Kristen?”
I just rolled my eyes and pulled my car keys from my purse. “It’s funny how history repeats itself, huh?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I saw you chatting her up at the bar. Don’t pretend the high school flame isn’t still burning. She’s been trying to get back together with you since you got back to town.”
“It’s never been her, Ruby. It’s always been you.” He pursed his lips together and then added in a soft voice I could barely hear over the roar of the crowd and deafening music, “It’s still you.”
I wiggled out of his arms, shaking my head in horror at the painful truth Finch felt necessary to share with me. A quick glance at the crowded dance floor and packed bar area revealed that it was going to take me twenty minutes to squeeze through the crush of bodies. I needed out of here now. I couldn’t breathe in this room. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t… hear those words from Finch and know them to be true in my heart and survive this torturous closeness to Levi. “I need to go,” I shouted at Finch.
He gave me a thumbs up and a frown, then helped me weave through bodies until I was back in the hallway leading to the girl’s bathroom. I rushed through the back exit, gulping in the cold, fresh air on the other side.
My heated skin immediately chilled and goosebumps broke out across my body. Two tears escaped and then froze to my cheeks almost immediately.
God, that place. I seriously needed to stop going there. I was a mom now. There was no reason for me to have a nightlife.
“Rubita,” a voice called from behind me.
Shit, not now.
I turned around and blinked at Ajax. He’d stepped outside to have a cigarette. “Oh, hey, Ajax.”
My ears felt stuffed with cotton after the loud bar and louder music. It was unsettlingly quiet out here. The snow packed ground muffled everything and the still winter night seemed empty of cars and wildlife and sound.
“You haven’t danced with me all night,” he pouted, sticking his lower lip out like a child.
“Yeah, I, uh, I’m here with some friends.” He stepped closer and I noticed how dilated his eyes were.
“I’ve missed you, amor,” he whispered, his fingers skimming over my hip. “In my bed.”
I took a step back, my ankle boots wobbling on the snowy ground. My bare toes were frozen, but I had to deal with this. Ajax didn’t even seem to notice the cold. His skin was super-heated. My smile was shaky, but I managed a regretful look. “Yeah, sorry, Ajax, I don’t think it’s going to work out between us anymore. I have Max to think about. I can’t… be casual with anyone anymore.”
He followed after me, his hand wrapping around my waist this time and tugging me against him. “That can’t be true, Ruby. You do so much for your son. You need to take care of yourself too.”
I pushed back on his shoulder, not liking how aggressively he was holding me. “Yeah, maybe, but what we had is over, Ajax. If I decide I want something, I need it to be with someone that cares about Max, that wants something permanent with me.”
He shrugged. “Then we mess around until then.”
“Stop,” I said firmly. He didn’t. He kept walking forward until my back bumped into the wood shelter of the dumpster. “Stop it, Ajax.”
“Oh, now she doesn’t want it,” he murmured to no one. “She wants a new cowboy. She’s done with the old one.”
“Stop, seriously, Ajax. We were done as soon as you started using.” He rolled his eyes. “For real.”
He shoved me against the fence and I banged my head against the rough wood. “Ow!”
“Now she’s done with me,” he continued to talk to no one. “Now she has the big, bad cowboy and she doesn’t need poor Ajax.”
His hands started moving over my tunic, groping and feeling. “What the hell? Get off me!” I shoved his chest and he flailed backward easier than I thought he would. He fell on his ass and started laughing like a lunatic.
“Leave me alone,” I growled at him. “Don’t ever come near me again.”
He stumbled to his feet, swaying wildly from side to side. “Rubita,” he crooned, throwing his hands toward me. “Oh, don’t be like that. I was just messing around. Come on.” He lunged forward, and I screamed, leaping out of the way of his pawing hands and out of control body.
Levi raced around the corner and stepped in front of me. He swung hard at Ajax, landing a punch on his cheek and sending him back to the ground. “She said to back the fuck off. So back. The. Fuck. Off.”
“Oh, my god, Levi,” I gasped, surprised to see him.
Ajax moaned in a crumpled pile in the snow.
He turned to face me, his hands moving over my arms. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
I shook my head, but I wasn’t sure if I was answering him or if that was the cold making my body tremble. “N-no. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fucking fine,” he growled. He turned a murderous look on Ajax. “Fucking asshole.”
I stared at the unconscious man. “He’s harmless now.”
“For now,” Levi muttered.
“That’s the second time you knocked him out.”
He frowned at me. “The first time wasn’t much of a fight either. He’s a mess.”
“He needs help.”
“Still doesn’t give him the right to fucking touch you.”
I let out a frustrated sigh. “True.”
Levi’s eyes swept over me, taking in my appearance all over again. “Where’s your coat? It’s freezing out here.”
“Er, the car,” I said through chattering teeth, my breath coming out in puffs of white. “I was on my way there.”
“Why?”
His tone was so straight-forward, so confrontational, I couldn’t help but add sass to mine. “Because I was leaving. Is that okay with you?”
“Not if it means getting yourself into trouble in a back alley.”
“I would have been fine.”
His voice dropped low to a scary tone. “No, you would not have been fine.” He pulled out his phone. “Don’t move yet.”
“What are you doing?”
“Texting Blake Upchurch to come deal with this sack of shit.”
Of course, Levi had the chief of police’s number in his cell. He was the golden boy after all. For some reason that really irritated me tonight. I was so tired of him being perfect, of him doing everything right. And I was so exhausted from doing everything wrong.
Turning away from him, I stomped off toward my car. It was three buildings away. “I’m fine now. Thanks for your help, Levi. Goodnight.”
He stalked after me, anger radiating off him. “That’s debatable,” he snarled.
We walked the rest of the way in silence, the snow crunching beneath our feet. I wrapped my arms around my body and tried not to catch hypothermia. I had a million things to say to him, but I bit them down, deciding I’d done enough damage to Levi Cole.
Just because I was miserable and frustrated over him, didn’t mean I needed to punish him. Although that had kind of been my MO for my entire life.
“There,” I said with a flourish of my hand when we’d reached the Corolla. “I made it safely. You can return to your date now.”
He glared at me. “My date?”
“Kristen.”
“Kristen?”
I just rolled my eyes and pulled my car keys from my purse. “It’s funny how history repeats itself, huh?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I saw you chatting her up at the bar. Don’t pretend the high school flame isn’t still burning. She’s been trying to get back together with you since you got back to town.”
