Trusting Liam
Page 56
“What. The fuck?” I screeched. “What are you doing—just what the fuck?”
“Come on, Kennedy,” Liam whispered, and pulled me away.
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from them until Liam had me out of the room and had reached around me to shut the door. He dragged me over to the couch and knelt between my knees with his hands covering my cheeks so he could force me to look at him.
“Are you okay?”
“What the fuck,” I whispered again. I didn’t know how many times I’d said it at that point . . . I only knew that I couldn’t stop saying it.
“Shit, Kennedy, say something else to me, please,” he begged. “I need to know what’s going through your mind.”
I pointed behind him toward Kira’s door. “What’s going through my mind is that I just walked in on my ex-husband fucking my twin sister! What the fuck?”
Liam’s eyes and face were a mix of panic, anger, and sorrow. None of which I could take the time to think about at that moment. “I need—” he started, but was cut off by my screaming when Rhys scrambled out of the room buttoning up his jeans.
“What the fuck were you doing with her? How long has this been going on?”
“Kennedy, please, let me explain!” he rushed out.
“Let you explain? Let you explain? She’s my fucking sister, you asshole!”
“You don’t understand, I swear—”
“Oh my God, Kennedy!” Kira cried as she ran out of the room with Rhys’s shirt on. It was inside out and backward, and I had no clue why I was so focused on those details, but I couldn’t stop staring at the shirt. “You don’t understand.”
“Apparently not!” I yelled. “Someone needs to make me understand what I just fucking saw!”
Tears filled Kira’s eyes before falling to her cheeks, and all she could do was shake her head.
“We didn’t think you were coming back today,” Rhys said, and I laughed mockingly.
“Oh. So because you didn’t think I would be here, you thought it would be okay to have sex with her?” I looked at my sister and pointed to Rhys. “He is my ex, Kira! What are you thinking?”
“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed.
“Not because we thought you wouldn’t be here,” Rhys answered my original question although it had been rhetorical. “I just—I don’t know. Kennedy, I’m sorry, but you have to let me explain.”
“I’m waiting, Rhys!” It was only then—when I felt the slightest squeeze on my arms—that I remembered Liam was sitting directly in front of me. He wasn’t looking at Rhys and Kira, he was only focused on me with that same mixture of emotions still playing out over his face. But I couldn’t keep my eyes on him for long; it was physically straining to not stare at the two people standing on the other side of the room.
“Last night I told you that something had happened over the last couple weeks.”
My jaw dropped at Rhys’s words. “My sister was what happened? You’ve been fucking for weeks?”
“No!” Kira cried, and clutched at her chest like that action would help her steady her breathing.
“No, Kennedy, God no. I told you that I would tell you what that something was, but I needed to talk to someone else first. Kira was who I needed to talk to. I never touched or kissed your sister until after you left last night.”
“Kennedy, I swear,” Kira said between sobs. “I didn’t even know that he shared my feelings until last night.”
“He’s with you because you look just like me, Kira! Don’t you see that?”
“No!” Rhys yelled. “Yes, you two are identical, but nothing about Kira reminds me of you. When I see her, I know exactly who I’m looking at—probably just like Liam knows exactly who he’s looking at when he sees you. There’s a difference, Kennedy.” Rhys looked to Liam for help, and even though Liam was still facing me, he nodded.
“There is,” Liam reluctantly said. His arctic-blue eyes captured mine and held them. “It’s your eyes; even when you were mad at me in the beginning, it was there. There’s so much passion in the way you look at me. When Kira looks at me, it’s just like any other person I know. If I look at her too quickly, I’ll think she’s you, but only for a second until I realize that there is absolutely no draw to her.”
“Exactly,” Rhys breathed, his voice relieved.
For a few moments, the only sound in the room was Kira’s crying as I watched Liam. And for the first time since he’d brought me to the couch, I understood his look. He was worried about why I was reacting so strongly when I’d chosen him over Rhys. But he didn’t understand the depth of betrayal I felt over what I had seen.
“It’s still you,” I whispered so softly only Liam could hear. When I looked back up to my sister and Rhys, I shook my head. “How do I know that you won’t just up and leave her too?”
“You know why I had to leave you, Kennedy. And you know I won’t ever go back to that kind of work.”
“I don’t understand,” Kira said, and brought her arms out to the side before letting them fall. “You have Liam. Why is it okay for you to have him, but it’s not okay for Rhys to have someone?”
“Yes, I have Liam. I love Liam. I’m not upset because Rhys is with someone, Kira. I honestly would have been ecstatic for Rhys if it had been anyone but you.”
“Why does your reaction have to change because it’s her?” Rhys asked, and took a step closer to Kira, like he was ready to defend her.
“Honestly? Because I’m scared for my sister! I’m scared about the real reason you’re with her. And I’m pissed off at both of you because you’ve been keeping your feelings from me while I’ve been going insane over the last month and feeling so fucking guilty because I thought I was going to hurt you.”
“What was I supposed to say?” Kira yelled. “He came back for—”
I continued with my explanation as if she hadn’t spoken. “And while there is absolutely no connection between us anymore, Rhys, I can’t help but think that if we’d stayed married, you two would have had an affair eventually.”
Neither of them responded, and from the looks on their faces, their silence was because they couldn’t deny it.
“That is why I am mad. That is why I feel betrayed. And that is why I’m struggling to be okay with something you both obviously want.” Looking at Liam, I grabbed his hands and pleaded, “Take me back to your place.”
His only response was to nod and stand up—pulling me with him. Kira and Rhys didn’t say anything to us as I packed the necessities and an extra outfit and left. And for the rest of the day, Liam didn’t try to make me forget about what we’d walked in on. He simply held me in his arms on his bed, and let me talk through all of my thoughts before helping me by offering his own thoughts and opinions on the situation.
“Thank you,” I said on a sigh as we curled up under his comforter that night.
“You’re thanking me? Why?”
“For being there with me, and for helping me talk through it today. You have no idea how amazing you are for that.”
“Come on, Kennedy,” Liam whispered, and pulled me away.
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from them until Liam had me out of the room and had reached around me to shut the door. He dragged me over to the couch and knelt between my knees with his hands covering my cheeks so he could force me to look at him.
“Are you okay?”
“What the fuck,” I whispered again. I didn’t know how many times I’d said it at that point . . . I only knew that I couldn’t stop saying it.
“Shit, Kennedy, say something else to me, please,” he begged. “I need to know what’s going through your mind.”
I pointed behind him toward Kira’s door. “What’s going through my mind is that I just walked in on my ex-husband fucking my twin sister! What the fuck?”
Liam’s eyes and face were a mix of panic, anger, and sorrow. None of which I could take the time to think about at that moment. “I need—” he started, but was cut off by my screaming when Rhys scrambled out of the room buttoning up his jeans.
“What the fuck were you doing with her? How long has this been going on?”
“Kennedy, please, let me explain!” he rushed out.
“Let you explain? Let you explain? She’s my fucking sister, you asshole!”
“You don’t understand, I swear—”
“Oh my God, Kennedy!” Kira cried as she ran out of the room with Rhys’s shirt on. It was inside out and backward, and I had no clue why I was so focused on those details, but I couldn’t stop staring at the shirt. “You don’t understand.”
“Apparently not!” I yelled. “Someone needs to make me understand what I just fucking saw!”
Tears filled Kira’s eyes before falling to her cheeks, and all she could do was shake her head.
“We didn’t think you were coming back today,” Rhys said, and I laughed mockingly.
“Oh. So because you didn’t think I would be here, you thought it would be okay to have sex with her?” I looked at my sister and pointed to Rhys. “He is my ex, Kira! What are you thinking?”
“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed.
“Not because we thought you wouldn’t be here,” Rhys answered my original question although it had been rhetorical. “I just—I don’t know. Kennedy, I’m sorry, but you have to let me explain.”
“I’m waiting, Rhys!” It was only then—when I felt the slightest squeeze on my arms—that I remembered Liam was sitting directly in front of me. He wasn’t looking at Rhys and Kira, he was only focused on me with that same mixture of emotions still playing out over his face. But I couldn’t keep my eyes on him for long; it was physically straining to not stare at the two people standing on the other side of the room.
“Last night I told you that something had happened over the last couple weeks.”
My jaw dropped at Rhys’s words. “My sister was what happened? You’ve been fucking for weeks?”
“No!” Kira cried, and clutched at her chest like that action would help her steady her breathing.
“No, Kennedy, God no. I told you that I would tell you what that something was, but I needed to talk to someone else first. Kira was who I needed to talk to. I never touched or kissed your sister until after you left last night.”
“Kennedy, I swear,” Kira said between sobs. “I didn’t even know that he shared my feelings until last night.”
“He’s with you because you look just like me, Kira! Don’t you see that?”
“No!” Rhys yelled. “Yes, you two are identical, but nothing about Kira reminds me of you. When I see her, I know exactly who I’m looking at—probably just like Liam knows exactly who he’s looking at when he sees you. There’s a difference, Kennedy.” Rhys looked to Liam for help, and even though Liam was still facing me, he nodded.
“There is,” Liam reluctantly said. His arctic-blue eyes captured mine and held them. “It’s your eyes; even when you were mad at me in the beginning, it was there. There’s so much passion in the way you look at me. When Kira looks at me, it’s just like any other person I know. If I look at her too quickly, I’ll think she’s you, but only for a second until I realize that there is absolutely no draw to her.”
“Exactly,” Rhys breathed, his voice relieved.
For a few moments, the only sound in the room was Kira’s crying as I watched Liam. And for the first time since he’d brought me to the couch, I understood his look. He was worried about why I was reacting so strongly when I’d chosen him over Rhys. But he didn’t understand the depth of betrayal I felt over what I had seen.
“It’s still you,” I whispered so softly only Liam could hear. When I looked back up to my sister and Rhys, I shook my head. “How do I know that you won’t just up and leave her too?”
“You know why I had to leave you, Kennedy. And you know I won’t ever go back to that kind of work.”
“I don’t understand,” Kira said, and brought her arms out to the side before letting them fall. “You have Liam. Why is it okay for you to have him, but it’s not okay for Rhys to have someone?”
“Yes, I have Liam. I love Liam. I’m not upset because Rhys is with someone, Kira. I honestly would have been ecstatic for Rhys if it had been anyone but you.”
“Why does your reaction have to change because it’s her?” Rhys asked, and took a step closer to Kira, like he was ready to defend her.
“Honestly? Because I’m scared for my sister! I’m scared about the real reason you’re with her. And I’m pissed off at both of you because you’ve been keeping your feelings from me while I’ve been going insane over the last month and feeling so fucking guilty because I thought I was going to hurt you.”
“What was I supposed to say?” Kira yelled. “He came back for—”
I continued with my explanation as if she hadn’t spoken. “And while there is absolutely no connection between us anymore, Rhys, I can’t help but think that if we’d stayed married, you two would have had an affair eventually.”
Neither of them responded, and from the looks on their faces, their silence was because they couldn’t deny it.
“That is why I am mad. That is why I feel betrayed. And that is why I’m struggling to be okay with something you both obviously want.” Looking at Liam, I grabbed his hands and pleaded, “Take me back to your place.”
His only response was to nod and stand up—pulling me with him. Kira and Rhys didn’t say anything to us as I packed the necessities and an extra outfit and left. And for the rest of the day, Liam didn’t try to make me forget about what we’d walked in on. He simply held me in his arms on his bed, and let me talk through all of my thoughts before helping me by offering his own thoughts and opinions on the situation.
“Thank you,” I said on a sigh as we curled up under his comforter that night.
“You’re thanking me? Why?”
“For being there with me, and for helping me talk through it today. You have no idea how amazing you are for that.”
