Trying Not to Love You
Page 27
I crossed my arms across my chest and looked to the floor. "It doesn't matter if she is or isn't. We are finished. You told me she was your roommate's girlfriend. Now you are telling me that you used protection every time. Was she really your roommate's girlfriend?"
He ignored my question.
"So I guess you're leaving me for this asshat now?" He asked, looking over at Hunter who still sat in the chair next to my bed.
"No, I told you that you could trust me. I kept my promises."
"Give me a break. Just give it time. Your piece of shit brothers can't stop you from doing everything. You'll run to him. It's just a matter of time."
"Watch it Dominic, you can talk all the shit you want to about me, but don't bring my brothers into this. We have had our own f**ked up problems all along." I growled.
He walked over to me and I could see the defeated look in his eyes but I did not look away from him. I stood my ground; he hurt me in the worst way.
He looked down to the ground, then back up to me and then back down to the ground. He reached in his pocket, pulled a little black box out and then dropped to one knee.
Are you kidding me? Please do not let this happen. This cannot be happening.
He looked up at me, a single tear running down his cheek. Hunter cursed behind me. The chair scraped across the floor, the door opened and then slammed shut.
I scrubbed my face with my hands. "Please don't do this." I begged Dominic.
"Baby, I love you. I f**ked up, but that will never happen again. I want to spend the rest of my life with you; I want to take care of you. I want to start a family with you, and grow old with you. You keep me grounded when I am with you; I feel like everything in the world is right. I don't have that feeling when I'm not with you; everything spirals out of control. MacKenzie, will you marry me?"
I started crying, so hard that I could not even make out what the ring looked like. I shook my head no, and I heard him whisper, "Please Kenzie?"
"I can't Dominic. You broke me. You broke us. You don't want to marry me."
I wiped my cheeks with the sleeves of my sweatshirt and knelt down in front of him, so that we were eye to eye. "You're not in love with me…" He started to argue but I placed my index finger to his lips to keep him quiet. "Yes, you love me but we're not in love with each other. I don't think we ever were."
I dropped my finger from his lips and his head followed my hand down to my side where my hands now rested. I stared down and saw tears hit the floor. I almost feel bad for him, almost.
I gave him a few minutes before I stood up and went over to my dresser where the bag of all his stuff was. I walked over to him. He stood up and I handed him the bag.
"I'm so sorry I f**ked this all up."
"I'm sorry you did too."
He walked over to the door but turned back to look at me one more time before he walked out for good this time.
12
After Dominic left, I turned the lights off and crawled back in bed just as I was before he came over. I just laid there and stared into the dark room when I heard the door open.
"Kenzie?" I heard a thump. Hunter must have walked into Hailey's bed. I picked up my phone from my bed and turned it on so he could see where he was walking.
"You ok?"
"I don't want to talk about it right now. I just want to go to sleep and forget this shit ever happened." I turned on my side and faced away from him.
I heard the chair as it scrapped against the floor. He sat down and started running his fingers up and down my back. I slowly drifted off to sleep.
My sleep did not last, and I woke up crying. I wiped the tears away and turned to see if anyone was still here. Hunter sat in the chair, gazing over at me.
He reached over to the nightstand and handed me some pain reliever and water. "Here take these." He knew me so well. He knew after a night like I was having, I would wake up with a pounding headache.
"Thanks. You don't have to sit there all night. I will be fine." I tell him.
"Yeah I do. Just try and get some more sleep." He was pissed. I could sense it. What was I supposed to do? This was not in my control.
I laid there for a while and eventually fell back asleep, but again, it was not for very long. At least this time when I woke up, I was not crying.
I looked over at Hunter and he still sat in the same place he had been since he walked in but now, his head rested on his hand and he was asleep.
I sat up and looked over at Hailey's empty bed; I got up and pulled her covers down. I walked over to Hunter and woke him.
"Hey, wake up." He stirred slightly and opened his eyes. "Come on. If you are going to stay here, sleep in Hailey's bed."
He got up, crawled into Hailey's bed and faced the direction of my bed. I got back into my bed and faced him. I knew he was not going to fall back asleep until I did, so I closed my eyes and pretended to fall back asleep. I laid there for what seemed like forever but then I heard Hunter's heavy breathing. I concentrated on breathing in and out and I eventually fell back asleep too.
When I woke up again, the sun was shining in my room. I got up and took another shower; my brothers did not come here to help nurse my broken heart. I had to pull myself together because we had plans to go to Busch Gardens today and I was going. I would have felt guilty for backing out on them. I knew they would understand, but I needed to get out of here anyway.
When I got out of the shower and got myself ready to go I opened the door and saw that Hunter was still asleep. I did not want to wake him but we had to get going.
I ran my fingers through his hair and ruffled it. "Hunter, come on get up; we have to go."
He stretched and yawned then looked at me and said, "We don't have to go; they'll understand."
Just the thought of sitting here and rehashing everything that had happened makes me want to cry again. "And what are we going to do? Sit here and stare at the walls? I can't do that; I can't sit here and cry."
We need to go.
"You sure you're up for it?" He asked still skeptical.
"I'm fine." I will be, at least for a little while. "Plus dad gave me money for an emergency and today is an emergency, so I'm using it."
"Alright, let's go back to my house so I can grab a quick shower."
When we got there, Mason, Hailey and Cooper were all upstairs still getting ready. It actually shocked me that party last night had not left the place trashed. There were still a few people asleep on the couch and a couple of pizza boxes and cups all over the kitchen, but nothing like the last party.
He ignored my question.
"So I guess you're leaving me for this asshat now?" He asked, looking over at Hunter who still sat in the chair next to my bed.
"No, I told you that you could trust me. I kept my promises."
"Give me a break. Just give it time. Your piece of shit brothers can't stop you from doing everything. You'll run to him. It's just a matter of time."
"Watch it Dominic, you can talk all the shit you want to about me, but don't bring my brothers into this. We have had our own f**ked up problems all along." I growled.
He walked over to me and I could see the defeated look in his eyes but I did not look away from him. I stood my ground; he hurt me in the worst way.
He looked down to the ground, then back up to me and then back down to the ground. He reached in his pocket, pulled a little black box out and then dropped to one knee.
Are you kidding me? Please do not let this happen. This cannot be happening.
He looked up at me, a single tear running down his cheek. Hunter cursed behind me. The chair scraped across the floor, the door opened and then slammed shut.
I scrubbed my face with my hands. "Please don't do this." I begged Dominic.
"Baby, I love you. I f**ked up, but that will never happen again. I want to spend the rest of my life with you; I want to take care of you. I want to start a family with you, and grow old with you. You keep me grounded when I am with you; I feel like everything in the world is right. I don't have that feeling when I'm not with you; everything spirals out of control. MacKenzie, will you marry me?"
I started crying, so hard that I could not even make out what the ring looked like. I shook my head no, and I heard him whisper, "Please Kenzie?"
"I can't Dominic. You broke me. You broke us. You don't want to marry me."
I wiped my cheeks with the sleeves of my sweatshirt and knelt down in front of him, so that we were eye to eye. "You're not in love with me…" He started to argue but I placed my index finger to his lips to keep him quiet. "Yes, you love me but we're not in love with each other. I don't think we ever were."
I dropped my finger from his lips and his head followed my hand down to my side where my hands now rested. I stared down and saw tears hit the floor. I almost feel bad for him, almost.
I gave him a few minutes before I stood up and went over to my dresser where the bag of all his stuff was. I walked over to him. He stood up and I handed him the bag.
"I'm so sorry I f**ked this all up."
"I'm sorry you did too."
He walked over to the door but turned back to look at me one more time before he walked out for good this time.
12
After Dominic left, I turned the lights off and crawled back in bed just as I was before he came over. I just laid there and stared into the dark room when I heard the door open.
"Kenzie?" I heard a thump. Hunter must have walked into Hailey's bed. I picked up my phone from my bed and turned it on so he could see where he was walking.
"You ok?"
"I don't want to talk about it right now. I just want to go to sleep and forget this shit ever happened." I turned on my side and faced away from him.
I heard the chair as it scrapped against the floor. He sat down and started running his fingers up and down my back. I slowly drifted off to sleep.
My sleep did not last, and I woke up crying. I wiped the tears away and turned to see if anyone was still here. Hunter sat in the chair, gazing over at me.
He reached over to the nightstand and handed me some pain reliever and water. "Here take these." He knew me so well. He knew after a night like I was having, I would wake up with a pounding headache.
"Thanks. You don't have to sit there all night. I will be fine." I tell him.
"Yeah I do. Just try and get some more sleep." He was pissed. I could sense it. What was I supposed to do? This was not in my control.
I laid there for a while and eventually fell back asleep, but again, it was not for very long. At least this time when I woke up, I was not crying.
I looked over at Hunter and he still sat in the same place he had been since he walked in but now, his head rested on his hand and he was asleep.
I sat up and looked over at Hailey's empty bed; I got up and pulled her covers down. I walked over to Hunter and woke him.
"Hey, wake up." He stirred slightly and opened his eyes. "Come on. If you are going to stay here, sleep in Hailey's bed."
He got up, crawled into Hailey's bed and faced the direction of my bed. I got back into my bed and faced him. I knew he was not going to fall back asleep until I did, so I closed my eyes and pretended to fall back asleep. I laid there for what seemed like forever but then I heard Hunter's heavy breathing. I concentrated on breathing in and out and I eventually fell back asleep too.
When I woke up again, the sun was shining in my room. I got up and took another shower; my brothers did not come here to help nurse my broken heart. I had to pull myself together because we had plans to go to Busch Gardens today and I was going. I would have felt guilty for backing out on them. I knew they would understand, but I needed to get out of here anyway.
When I got out of the shower and got myself ready to go I opened the door and saw that Hunter was still asleep. I did not want to wake him but we had to get going.
I ran my fingers through his hair and ruffled it. "Hunter, come on get up; we have to go."
He stretched and yawned then looked at me and said, "We don't have to go; they'll understand."
Just the thought of sitting here and rehashing everything that had happened makes me want to cry again. "And what are we going to do? Sit here and stare at the walls? I can't do that; I can't sit here and cry."
We need to go.
"You sure you're up for it?" He asked still skeptical.
"I'm fine." I will be, at least for a little while. "Plus dad gave me money for an emergency and today is an emergency, so I'm using it."
"Alright, let's go back to my house so I can grab a quick shower."
When we got there, Mason, Hailey and Cooper were all upstairs still getting ready. It actually shocked me that party last night had not left the place trashed. There were still a few people asleep on the couch and a couple of pizza boxes and cups all over the kitchen, but nothing like the last party.
