Trying Not to Love You
Page 51
Oh my God, there is no way I can be in that wedding looking like a whale. "Um yeah sure sounds good."
I was walking down the driveway when I heard footsteps behind me. Damn it, I thought I was in the clear. I acted as if I didn't hear anything, quickly made it into the car and started it up but Jackson was at the window knocking on it.
I pressed the button and the window rolled down. "You sure everything is ok? You hate waking up before noon Kenzie."
"Yeah, I just couldn't sleep. I haven't been sleeping well since Hunter and I broke up. No big deal." I shrugged my shoulder, praying he would buy it.
"I'll talk to Mason and Hunter this week and get this shit worked out. I don't want there to be any problems at my wedding."
"No!" I yelled a little too loud. "No, its fine. Mason said he was going to talk to Hunter, so just let them work it out, ok?"
Huffing he said, "Fine but if by the end of the week those ass**les aren't talking, I'm going to make them."
"Fine, do whatever you want, but just let them work it out themselves first." My phone beeped from inside my purse. I dug it out. It was Chloe, saving me. "Look I have to go. That was mom looking for me."
"Yeah alright, love ya, see ya later." Jackson stepped away from the car and I put it in reverse and made my way home.
When I got home, Hunter's truck was in the driveway. I didn't want to go in, but I didn't have anywhere else to go since Hailey was here. My other friends were gone for spring break or still at school. I parked next to Hunter's truck, and decided to try to sneak in the back door and right up the steps.
I wasn't so lucky, because Hunter, Mason and Hailey were sitting at the kitchen table. I turned, shut the door, kept my head down and walked right out of the kitchen. I heard the legs of the chair scrape the floor and Hunter saying, "Wait."
I didn't wait though; as soon as my feet hit the steps, I took off, ran into my room and locked it. I rested my back against the door just as Hunter banged on it.
"CC, we need to talk. Let me in." He yelled through the door.
I dropped my head back against the door. Why now? I can't do this. I can't worry about him. I needed to worry about me. I needed to ignore him until I can figure this out.
"CC, please open the door." He tried to wiggle the door handle.
"Hunter, just go away. I don't have anything to say to you." My voice started to crack. I just wanted him to come in here and tell me everything would be ok. He wouldn't though because he didn't know. If he did he would be running the other way.
"Fine, for right now, I'll leave you alone, but this isn't over." he said, sounding frustrated.
I kicked off my shoes, laid in my bed and started sobbing. I thought of how I really messed everything up. Once Hunter found out about me being pregnant, he would leave me, probably for good. How could I be so stupid? I put my headphones in, and eventually, cried myself to sleep.
When I finally woke up, it was dark in my room. I pulled my headphones out, reached over and turned the lamp next to my bed on. Hunter sat on the chest at the end of the bed with his head in his hands.
I sat up and asked, "What are you doing in here?"
He turned around to look at me. "Mason picked the lock since you weren't answering anyone. Once we came in, we realized you had your headphones in." He shook his head and continued. "I thought you did something stupid."
"Well, now that you know I didn't, you can go." I didn't want him in here; I didn't want anyone in here.
He sighed. "Is this how things are going to be with us now? Can we not even be in the same room together? I love you CC. I'm sorry for the way shit went down between us; I didn't know how to handle it."
"Hunter, it's a little too late for apologies now." Do not cry. Hold it together. "You told me you wouldn't break my heart again, and you did. You said you picked me this time, but you didn't." The tears started flowing. "Please just leave." I begged.
"No, I'm not leaving. I did pick you. I do pick you." He walked over and sat next to me on the bed, and I moved away. He frowned, "I know I acted like an ass**le. I am an ass**le. I shouldn't have been taking that shit out on you. You don't need that. Mason and I talked, and I think he finally gets that I am not going to hurt you. Look…"
I cut him off, "But you did exactly what he said you would do. You hurt me Hunter. I can't…"
He slammed his lips down on mine. He tried to deepen the kiss but I wasn't having it. I couldn't with this secret between us. Hunter's fingertips reached the bottom of my shirt, lying on my stomach.
I pushed him back; I couldn't let him touch me, especially not my stomach. "Stop, you can't make everything better by doing that."
"CC, I love you. I need you." Hunter said, breathing heavy.
I turned my head towards the window and whispered, "I don't need you."
He sucked in sharp breath, "You don't mean that; I know you don't. Your flushed body and goose bumps tell me you don't mean that. CC, baby, please talk to me. We have to fix this. I'm screwed up without you."
I had to get him out of here. He was killing me, and I knew I had to say something that would hurt him. "There isn't anything left for you to fix. Dominic took care of me when you wouldn't." I sobbed the last part out. I could not believe that had come out of my mouth.
Hunter sat up, and ran his hand threw his hair. I wanted to run my hands through the same hair. God, why could he not just leave? It was killing me to hurt him like this. He stared at me. I could see the storm in his eyes, the rage pulsing through his body. This was what I needed him to feel to keep him away from me. I needed to figure out this pregnancy on my own. I couldn't burden him with this.
"Are you f**king serious?" he finally asked.
I nodded. He got up and stormed out of my room. A few minutes later, I heard his truck start. I quickly scrambled over to my purse called Dominic.
"Kenzie, hang on." He must be at some kind of party, because the music was blasting. "Hey, everything ok?"
Twisting my fingers, I said, "Um, not really. Where are you?"
"At Jason's party with Brittany, what's going on?"
"I kind of just told Hunter that you've been taking care of me. I'm sorry; I didn't know what else to tell him. He wouldn't leave me alone." I said nervously.
"Don't worry about it. So, I guess you took the test?" I heard keys jiggling in the background.
"Yeah and I'm sure you already know the answer." I said, trying not to cry again for the hundredth time.
I was walking down the driveway when I heard footsteps behind me. Damn it, I thought I was in the clear. I acted as if I didn't hear anything, quickly made it into the car and started it up but Jackson was at the window knocking on it.
I pressed the button and the window rolled down. "You sure everything is ok? You hate waking up before noon Kenzie."
"Yeah, I just couldn't sleep. I haven't been sleeping well since Hunter and I broke up. No big deal." I shrugged my shoulder, praying he would buy it.
"I'll talk to Mason and Hunter this week and get this shit worked out. I don't want there to be any problems at my wedding."
"No!" I yelled a little too loud. "No, its fine. Mason said he was going to talk to Hunter, so just let them work it out, ok?"
Huffing he said, "Fine but if by the end of the week those ass**les aren't talking, I'm going to make them."
"Fine, do whatever you want, but just let them work it out themselves first." My phone beeped from inside my purse. I dug it out. It was Chloe, saving me. "Look I have to go. That was mom looking for me."
"Yeah alright, love ya, see ya later." Jackson stepped away from the car and I put it in reverse and made my way home.
When I got home, Hunter's truck was in the driveway. I didn't want to go in, but I didn't have anywhere else to go since Hailey was here. My other friends were gone for spring break or still at school. I parked next to Hunter's truck, and decided to try to sneak in the back door and right up the steps.
I wasn't so lucky, because Hunter, Mason and Hailey were sitting at the kitchen table. I turned, shut the door, kept my head down and walked right out of the kitchen. I heard the legs of the chair scrape the floor and Hunter saying, "Wait."
I didn't wait though; as soon as my feet hit the steps, I took off, ran into my room and locked it. I rested my back against the door just as Hunter banged on it.
"CC, we need to talk. Let me in." He yelled through the door.
I dropped my head back against the door. Why now? I can't do this. I can't worry about him. I needed to worry about me. I needed to ignore him until I can figure this out.
"CC, please open the door." He tried to wiggle the door handle.
"Hunter, just go away. I don't have anything to say to you." My voice started to crack. I just wanted him to come in here and tell me everything would be ok. He wouldn't though because he didn't know. If he did he would be running the other way.
"Fine, for right now, I'll leave you alone, but this isn't over." he said, sounding frustrated.
I kicked off my shoes, laid in my bed and started sobbing. I thought of how I really messed everything up. Once Hunter found out about me being pregnant, he would leave me, probably for good. How could I be so stupid? I put my headphones in, and eventually, cried myself to sleep.
When I finally woke up, it was dark in my room. I pulled my headphones out, reached over and turned the lamp next to my bed on. Hunter sat on the chest at the end of the bed with his head in his hands.
I sat up and asked, "What are you doing in here?"
He turned around to look at me. "Mason picked the lock since you weren't answering anyone. Once we came in, we realized you had your headphones in." He shook his head and continued. "I thought you did something stupid."
"Well, now that you know I didn't, you can go." I didn't want him in here; I didn't want anyone in here.
He sighed. "Is this how things are going to be with us now? Can we not even be in the same room together? I love you CC. I'm sorry for the way shit went down between us; I didn't know how to handle it."
"Hunter, it's a little too late for apologies now." Do not cry. Hold it together. "You told me you wouldn't break my heart again, and you did. You said you picked me this time, but you didn't." The tears started flowing. "Please just leave." I begged.
"No, I'm not leaving. I did pick you. I do pick you." He walked over and sat next to me on the bed, and I moved away. He frowned, "I know I acted like an ass**le. I am an ass**le. I shouldn't have been taking that shit out on you. You don't need that. Mason and I talked, and I think he finally gets that I am not going to hurt you. Look…"
I cut him off, "But you did exactly what he said you would do. You hurt me Hunter. I can't…"
He slammed his lips down on mine. He tried to deepen the kiss but I wasn't having it. I couldn't with this secret between us. Hunter's fingertips reached the bottom of my shirt, lying on my stomach.
I pushed him back; I couldn't let him touch me, especially not my stomach. "Stop, you can't make everything better by doing that."
"CC, I love you. I need you." Hunter said, breathing heavy.
I turned my head towards the window and whispered, "I don't need you."
He sucked in sharp breath, "You don't mean that; I know you don't. Your flushed body and goose bumps tell me you don't mean that. CC, baby, please talk to me. We have to fix this. I'm screwed up without you."
I had to get him out of here. He was killing me, and I knew I had to say something that would hurt him. "There isn't anything left for you to fix. Dominic took care of me when you wouldn't." I sobbed the last part out. I could not believe that had come out of my mouth.
Hunter sat up, and ran his hand threw his hair. I wanted to run my hands through the same hair. God, why could he not just leave? It was killing me to hurt him like this. He stared at me. I could see the storm in his eyes, the rage pulsing through his body. This was what I needed him to feel to keep him away from me. I needed to figure out this pregnancy on my own. I couldn't burden him with this.
"Are you f**king serious?" he finally asked.
I nodded. He got up and stormed out of my room. A few minutes later, I heard his truck start. I quickly scrambled over to my purse called Dominic.
"Kenzie, hang on." He must be at some kind of party, because the music was blasting. "Hey, everything ok?"
Twisting my fingers, I said, "Um, not really. Where are you?"
"At Jason's party with Brittany, what's going on?"
"I kind of just told Hunter that you've been taking care of me. I'm sorry; I didn't know what else to tell him. He wouldn't leave me alone." I said nervously.
"Don't worry about it. So, I guess you took the test?" I heard keys jiggling in the background.
"Yeah and I'm sure you already know the answer." I said, trying not to cry again for the hundredth time.
