Trying to Score
Page 84
Fallon reached for Aiden as the tears threatened to fall. She never thought that Aiden would ask that. She had always made sure to tell him that Lucas loved him and that he wanted him but maybe that wasn’t enough. Maybe she had ruined their relationship because how was she going to explain to a six year old that Lucas did want him after all this time? She had f**ked up enormously bad, and she could honestly say she didn’t know how she was going to fix it.
Aiden buried his face in Fallon’s neck as she prayed for the right words to say, the right way to tell Aiden. “Honey, Lucas does want you.”
“But not before,” Aiden cried. Fallon swore that with every tear, her heart broke more. She hated when Aiden cried. Fallon pulled back, looking down at Aiden.
“Baby, I never told Lucas about you.”
Aiden’s eyebrows came together as he looked up at Fallon. “Why not?”
Shit. How’d she know he was going to say that?
“Well, when we broke up and I found out I was pregnant with you, instead of telling him, I came home so that AA, Grammie and Grandpa could help me.”
“Why didn’t you ask Lucas to help you?”
Because she was stupid.
“Well, Mommy was really mad at him.”
“Why?”
Damn it! Why didn’t they write books on how to do this?!
“Because Lucas kissed another girl. I got mad and left him.”
Aiden’s little eyes got so wide as he looked up at Fallon. “He kissed another girl when you were his girlfriend? Even I know not to do that.”
Say what?!
Fallon pointed her finger at Aiden. “You better not be kissing any little girls,” she warned. Aiden smiled bashfully for the first time since leaving Lucas’. Fallon smiled back and hugged him close to her. “Lucas loves you so much, baby. If he would have known about you before he would have been here. Mommy was just mad and didn’t want him around. It’s all my fault for keeping him away from you. I’m so sorry.”
Aiden nodded, snuggling closer to her chest. “It’s okay.”
Fallon smiled against his temple as she held him close. Aiden was pretty much the best kid imaginable and Fallon knew that they were going to be okay. His and Lucas’ relationship wouldn’t be affected by Fallon’s deception. In the long run they would both love each other the way she loved them both, and everything would be perfect.
At least for them.
Fallon on the other hand would always love a man that she couldn’t trust. She would always yearn for him and wish like hell that she could be with him. She knew that she would have to watch him be with someone else because Lucas Brooks wasn’t going anywhere and he wasn’t going to be single for long. He would forever be in Aiden’s life, and Fallon would have to learn to deal with her jacked-up emotions. She would have to learn to let go, to understand that what she and Lucas had would never come back. Too much had happened, too much time had passed.
But maybe one day she would be able to move on. Maybe then she would be able to be with him. Maybe he would still be single and want her. Maybe they could all be a happy family.
Maybe.
Aiden had fallen asleep in Fallon’s arms, so she slowly laid him down before sneaking out the room. As she went down the stairs all she could think of was Lucas’ face when she came to his massive house. He looked so sad, so hurt. Fallon shook her head, picking her phone up off the back of the couch. After finding the number she needed, she put the phone to her ear, waiting for him to answer.
“Hello?” Lucas asked. He sounded anxious.
“Hey, he’s asleep right now, but I’m pretty sure every things okay.”
Lucas let out a long sigh before saying, “Does he hate me?”
“Not at all Lucas. Don’t ever think that. He was just confused. Everything is fine, I explained the situation to him and he is okay.”
Lucas paused for a moment, then said, “I leave tomorrow, can I come over in the morning?”
Fallon’s heart stopped. “You’re leavin’?”
“Yeah, tomorrow night. I wanted to spend the day with him before I left.”
“Oh, of course. That’s fine,” she said and really, she wanted to cry. She knew that he would be leaving so why did it feel like he was ripping her heart out all over again? Would Aiden be okay? Would she be okay? This was one of the main things she hated about Lucas’ career. She hated the goodbyes, and Lucas was full of them.
“Cool. Do you, maybe, want to go to breakfast? As a family?”
Fallon’s heart stopped. A family?
“Um, I don’t know. I don’t want to confuse Aiden.”
“I know, but maybe it would help.”
Fallon sat for a minute listening to Lucas breathe. If she didn’t go she wouldn’t see him again until Aiden’s birthday when Molly would be there. She wanted to see him, and who said she couldn’t torture herself by going as this so-called family? It was what she had dreamed of when they were together, so why not go?
Because it was a bad idea.
Fallon knew she would dwell on it. Wonder about the ‘what ifs’, when she knew darn well that Lucas Brooks was so freaking wrong for her. He had hurt her once, he would do it again. But even knowing that stuff, it didn’t keep her from saying, “Yeah, come on over in the morning.”
She could basically see the grin on his face as he said, “Great.”
Yeah, it was a bad choice, but when did Fallon ever make the right choices?
Aiden buried his face in Fallon’s neck as she prayed for the right words to say, the right way to tell Aiden. “Honey, Lucas does want you.”
“But not before,” Aiden cried. Fallon swore that with every tear, her heart broke more. She hated when Aiden cried. Fallon pulled back, looking down at Aiden.
“Baby, I never told Lucas about you.”
Aiden’s eyebrows came together as he looked up at Fallon. “Why not?”
Shit. How’d she know he was going to say that?
“Well, when we broke up and I found out I was pregnant with you, instead of telling him, I came home so that AA, Grammie and Grandpa could help me.”
“Why didn’t you ask Lucas to help you?”
Because she was stupid.
“Well, Mommy was really mad at him.”
“Why?”
Damn it! Why didn’t they write books on how to do this?!
“Because Lucas kissed another girl. I got mad and left him.”
Aiden’s little eyes got so wide as he looked up at Fallon. “He kissed another girl when you were his girlfriend? Even I know not to do that.”
Say what?!
Fallon pointed her finger at Aiden. “You better not be kissing any little girls,” she warned. Aiden smiled bashfully for the first time since leaving Lucas’. Fallon smiled back and hugged him close to her. “Lucas loves you so much, baby. If he would have known about you before he would have been here. Mommy was just mad and didn’t want him around. It’s all my fault for keeping him away from you. I’m so sorry.”
Aiden nodded, snuggling closer to her chest. “It’s okay.”
Fallon smiled against his temple as she held him close. Aiden was pretty much the best kid imaginable and Fallon knew that they were going to be okay. His and Lucas’ relationship wouldn’t be affected by Fallon’s deception. In the long run they would both love each other the way she loved them both, and everything would be perfect.
At least for them.
Fallon on the other hand would always love a man that she couldn’t trust. She would always yearn for him and wish like hell that she could be with him. She knew that she would have to watch him be with someone else because Lucas Brooks wasn’t going anywhere and he wasn’t going to be single for long. He would forever be in Aiden’s life, and Fallon would have to learn to deal with her jacked-up emotions. She would have to learn to let go, to understand that what she and Lucas had would never come back. Too much had happened, too much time had passed.
But maybe one day she would be able to move on. Maybe then she would be able to be with him. Maybe he would still be single and want her. Maybe they could all be a happy family.
Maybe.
Aiden had fallen asleep in Fallon’s arms, so she slowly laid him down before sneaking out the room. As she went down the stairs all she could think of was Lucas’ face when she came to his massive house. He looked so sad, so hurt. Fallon shook her head, picking her phone up off the back of the couch. After finding the number she needed, she put the phone to her ear, waiting for him to answer.
“Hello?” Lucas asked. He sounded anxious.
“Hey, he’s asleep right now, but I’m pretty sure every things okay.”
Lucas let out a long sigh before saying, “Does he hate me?”
“Not at all Lucas. Don’t ever think that. He was just confused. Everything is fine, I explained the situation to him and he is okay.”
Lucas paused for a moment, then said, “I leave tomorrow, can I come over in the morning?”
Fallon’s heart stopped. “You’re leavin’?”
“Yeah, tomorrow night. I wanted to spend the day with him before I left.”
“Oh, of course. That’s fine,” she said and really, she wanted to cry. She knew that he would be leaving so why did it feel like he was ripping her heart out all over again? Would Aiden be okay? Would she be okay? This was one of the main things she hated about Lucas’ career. She hated the goodbyes, and Lucas was full of them.
“Cool. Do you, maybe, want to go to breakfast? As a family?”
Fallon’s heart stopped. A family?
“Um, I don’t know. I don’t want to confuse Aiden.”
“I know, but maybe it would help.”
Fallon sat for a minute listening to Lucas breathe. If she didn’t go she wouldn’t see him again until Aiden’s birthday when Molly would be there. She wanted to see him, and who said she couldn’t torture herself by going as this so-called family? It was what she had dreamed of when they were together, so why not go?
Because it was a bad idea.
Fallon knew she would dwell on it. Wonder about the ‘what ifs’, when she knew darn well that Lucas Brooks was so freaking wrong for her. He had hurt her once, he would do it again. But even knowing that stuff, it didn’t keep her from saying, “Yeah, come on over in the morning.”
She could basically see the grin on his face as he said, “Great.”
Yeah, it was a bad choice, but when did Fallon ever make the right choices?
