Twenties Girl
Page 132
“To be honest…” Dad lowers his voice, leaning across the little table. “I think Bill’s been having a few problems with Diamanté. He regrets having brought her up so… lavishly. We had quite a heart-to-heart, and do you know what he said?” Dad’s face suffuses with pleasure. “He said he sees you as the kind of self-starting young person who should be a role model for Diamanté.”
He doesn’t really think that! I want to cry out. You don’t know what’s going on! He just wants me to stop chasing the necklace!
I bury my head in my hands despairingly. It’s such a preposterous story. It all sounds so unlikely. And now the necklace is gone and Sadie’s gone and I don’t know what to think… or do…
“Lara!” exclaims Dad. “Darling! Are you all right?”
“I’m… fine.” I raise my head. “Sorry. It’s all just a bit… overwhelming.”
“This is my fault,” says Dad, his smile fading. “I’ve thrown you. I should never have mentioned it, your business is doing so well-”
Oh God. I can’t let this charade go on any longer.
“Dad.” I cut him off. “The business isn’t going well.”
“I’m sorry?”
“It’s not doing at all well. I lied. I didn’t want to tell you.” I’m crushing a sugar wrapper between my fingers, unable to meet his eye. “But the truth is… it’s a disaster. Natalie left me in the lurch and we had a big row and I walked out on her. And… and I’ve split up with Josh again. For good.” I swallow, forcing myself to say it. “I’ve finally realized how wrong I got everything with him. He didn’t love me. I just really, really wanted him to.”
“I see.” Dad sounds a bit shocked. “Goodness.” There’s silence as he takes this all in. “Well… perhaps this offer has come at just the right time,” he says at last.
“Maybe,” I mumble, still staring at the table.
“What’s wrong?” asks Dad gently. “Darling, why are you resisting this? You wanted to work for Uncle Bill.”
“I know. But it’s… complicated.”
“Lara, can I give you a piece of advice?” Dad waits until I look up. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Relax. Maybe it’s not as complicated as you think.”
I look at Dad, at his straight face, his honest eyes. If I told him the truth, he wouldn’t believe any of it. He’d think I’m a paranoid delusional or taking drugs. Or both.
“Did Uncle Bill mention a necklace at all?” I can’t help saying.
“A necklace?” Dad looks puzzled. “No. What necklace?”
“I… it’s nothing.” I sigh. I take a sip of Lingtoncino and look up to see that Dad is watching me. He smiles, but I can tell he’s troubled.
“Darling, you have a wonderful opportunity here.” He gestures at the letter. “A chance for you to get your life back on track. Maybe you should just take it. Don’t overthink it. Don’t look for problems that don’t exist. Just take your chance.”
He doesn’t understand. How could he? Sadie isn’t a problem that doesn’t exist. She does exist. She’s real. She’s a person, and she’s my friend, and she needs me-
Then where is she? says a sharp voice in my head, like a knife thumping into a block. If she exists, where is she?
I start in shock. Where did that voice come from? I can’t be doubting-I can’t be thinking-
I feel a sudden feathery panic. Of course Sadie’s real. Of course she is. Don’t be ridiculous. Stop thinking like this.
But now Ginny’s voice is running through my head again. I think it’s all in the head, Lara. It’s what people want to believe .
No. No way. I mean … No .
Feeling giddy, I take a gulp of Lingtoncino and look around the coffee shop, trying to anchor myself to reality. Lingtons is real. Dad is real. The job offer is real. And Sadie is real. I know she is. I mean, I saw her. I heard her. We talked together. We danced together, for God’s sake.
And, anyway, how could I possibly have invented her? How would I have known anything about her? How would I have known about the necklace? I never even met her!
“Dad.” I look at him abruptly. “We never visited Great-Aunt Sadie, did we? Except that time when I was a baby.”
“Actually, that’s not quite true.” Dad shoots me a cautious look. “Mum and I were talking about it after the funeral. We remembered that we once took you to see her when you were six.”
He doesn’t really think that! I want to cry out. You don’t know what’s going on! He just wants me to stop chasing the necklace!
I bury my head in my hands despairingly. It’s such a preposterous story. It all sounds so unlikely. And now the necklace is gone and Sadie’s gone and I don’t know what to think… or do…
“Lara!” exclaims Dad. “Darling! Are you all right?”
“I’m… fine.” I raise my head. “Sorry. It’s all just a bit… overwhelming.”
“This is my fault,” says Dad, his smile fading. “I’ve thrown you. I should never have mentioned it, your business is doing so well-”
Oh God. I can’t let this charade go on any longer.
“Dad.” I cut him off. “The business isn’t going well.”
“I’m sorry?”
“It’s not doing at all well. I lied. I didn’t want to tell you.” I’m crushing a sugar wrapper between my fingers, unable to meet his eye. “But the truth is… it’s a disaster. Natalie left me in the lurch and we had a big row and I walked out on her. And… and I’ve split up with Josh again. For good.” I swallow, forcing myself to say it. “I’ve finally realized how wrong I got everything with him. He didn’t love me. I just really, really wanted him to.”
“I see.” Dad sounds a bit shocked. “Goodness.” There’s silence as he takes this all in. “Well… perhaps this offer has come at just the right time,” he says at last.
“Maybe,” I mumble, still staring at the table.
“What’s wrong?” asks Dad gently. “Darling, why are you resisting this? You wanted to work for Uncle Bill.”
“I know. But it’s… complicated.”
“Lara, can I give you a piece of advice?” Dad waits until I look up. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Relax. Maybe it’s not as complicated as you think.”
I look at Dad, at his straight face, his honest eyes. If I told him the truth, he wouldn’t believe any of it. He’d think I’m a paranoid delusional or taking drugs. Or both.
“Did Uncle Bill mention a necklace at all?” I can’t help saying.
“A necklace?” Dad looks puzzled. “No. What necklace?”
“I… it’s nothing.” I sigh. I take a sip of Lingtoncino and look up to see that Dad is watching me. He smiles, but I can tell he’s troubled.
“Darling, you have a wonderful opportunity here.” He gestures at the letter. “A chance for you to get your life back on track. Maybe you should just take it. Don’t overthink it. Don’t look for problems that don’t exist. Just take your chance.”
He doesn’t understand. How could he? Sadie isn’t a problem that doesn’t exist. She does exist. She’s real. She’s a person, and she’s my friend, and she needs me-
Then where is she? says a sharp voice in my head, like a knife thumping into a block. If she exists, where is she?
I start in shock. Where did that voice come from? I can’t be doubting-I can’t be thinking-
I feel a sudden feathery panic. Of course Sadie’s real. Of course she is. Don’t be ridiculous. Stop thinking like this.
But now Ginny’s voice is running through my head again. I think it’s all in the head, Lara. It’s what people want to believe .
No. No way. I mean … No .
Feeling giddy, I take a gulp of Lingtoncino and look around the coffee shop, trying to anchor myself to reality. Lingtons is real. Dad is real. The job offer is real. And Sadie is real. I know she is. I mean, I saw her. I heard her. We talked together. We danced together, for God’s sake.
And, anyway, how could I possibly have invented her? How would I have known anything about her? How would I have known about the necklace? I never even met her!
“Dad.” I look at him abruptly. “We never visited Great-Aunt Sadie, did we? Except that time when I was a baby.”
“Actually, that’s not quite true.” Dad shoots me a cautious look. “Mum and I were talking about it after the funeral. We remembered that we once took you to see her when you were six.”
