Twenties Girl
Page 99
“Move on,” he echoes, in mock-amazed tones. “Wow. Right. Not a phrase anyone’s said to me much.”
OK, so obviously I’m not the only one who’s given him a pep talk. Well, too bad.
“I’ll be gone in two more months,” he adds curtly. “It hardly matters whether I get to know London or not-”
“So, what, you’re just treading water, just existing, waiting until you feel better? Well, you never will! Not unless you do something about it!” All my frustration with him pours out in a stream. “Look at you, doing memos for other people, and emails for your mum, and solving everyone else’s problems because you don’t want to think about your own! Sorry, I overheard you in Pret A Manger,” I add sheepishly as Ed’s head jerks up. “If you’re going to live in a place, doesn’t matter how long, you need to engage with it. Otherwise you’re not really living. You’re just functioning. I bet you haven’t even unpacked properly, have you?”
“As it happens… ” He pauses for a few steps. “My housekeeper unpacked for me.”
“There you go.” I shrug, and we walk on a little more in silence, our footsteps almost in time. “People break up,” I say at last. “It’s just the way things are. And you can’t dwell on what might have been. You have to look at what is.”
As I’m saying the words, I have a weird flash of déjà vu. I think Dad said something to me like this once about Josh. In fact, he might even have used those exact words.
But that was different. I mean, obviously it’s an entirely different scenario. Josh and I weren’t planning a trip, were we? Or to move cities. And now we’re back together again. Totally different.
“Life is like an escalator,” I add wisely.
When Dad says that to me, I get all annoyed because he just doesn’t understand. But somehow it’s different when I’m giving advice.
“An escalator,” echoes Ed. “Thought it was a box of chocolates.”
“No, definitely an escalator. You see, it carries you on regardless.” I mime an escalator. “And you might as well enjoy the view and seize every opportunity while you’re passing. Otherwise it’ll be too late. That’s what my dad told me when I broke up with this… this guy.”
Ed walks on a few paces. “And did you take his advice?”
“Er… well…” I brush my hair back, avoiding his eye. “Kind of.”
Ed stops and looks at me gravely. “Did you ‘move on’? Did you find it easy? Because I sure as hell haven’t.”
I clear my throat, playing for time. What I did isn’t really the point here, surely?
“You know, there are lots of definitions of ‘move on.’” I try to maintain my wise tone. “Many different variations. Everyone has to move on in their own way.”
I’m not sure I want to get into this conversation, actually. Maybe now is the moment to find a cab.
“Taxi!” I wave my hand at a passing cab, but it sails past, even though its light is on. I hate when they do that.
“Let me.” Ed approaches the curb, and I take out my mobile phone. There’s a pretty good minicab company that I use. Maybe they could come and pick us up. I retreat into a doorway, dial the number, and wait on hold, before I eventually discover that all the cabs are out tonight and it’ll be a half-hour wait.
“No good.” I come out of the doorway to see Ed standing stock still on the pavement. He’s not even trying to hail a cab. “No luck?” I say in surprise.
“Lara.” He turns to me. His face is confused and his eyes are a little glassy. Has he been taking drugs or something? “I think we should go dancing.”
“What?” I peer at him, perplexed.
“I think we should go dancing.” He nods. “It would be a perfect way to round off the evening. It just came to me out of the blue.”
I don’t believe it. Sadie .
I whirl around on the pavement, searching the darkness, and suddenly spot her, floating by a lamppost.
“You!” I exclaim furiously, but Ed doesn’t even seem to notice.
“There’s a nightclub near here,” he’s saying. “Come on. Let’s have a quick dance. It’s a great idea. I should have thought of it before.”
“How do you know there’s a nightclub here?” I retort. “You don’t know London!”
“Yeah, right.” He nods, looking a bit flummoxed himself. “But I’m pretty sure there’s a nightclub down that street.” He gestures. “Down there, third left. We should go check it out.”
OK, so obviously I’m not the only one who’s given him a pep talk. Well, too bad.
“I’ll be gone in two more months,” he adds curtly. “It hardly matters whether I get to know London or not-”
“So, what, you’re just treading water, just existing, waiting until you feel better? Well, you never will! Not unless you do something about it!” All my frustration with him pours out in a stream. “Look at you, doing memos for other people, and emails for your mum, and solving everyone else’s problems because you don’t want to think about your own! Sorry, I overheard you in Pret A Manger,” I add sheepishly as Ed’s head jerks up. “If you’re going to live in a place, doesn’t matter how long, you need to engage with it. Otherwise you’re not really living. You’re just functioning. I bet you haven’t even unpacked properly, have you?”
“As it happens… ” He pauses for a few steps. “My housekeeper unpacked for me.”
“There you go.” I shrug, and we walk on a little more in silence, our footsteps almost in time. “People break up,” I say at last. “It’s just the way things are. And you can’t dwell on what might have been. You have to look at what is.”
As I’m saying the words, I have a weird flash of déjà vu. I think Dad said something to me like this once about Josh. In fact, he might even have used those exact words.
But that was different. I mean, obviously it’s an entirely different scenario. Josh and I weren’t planning a trip, were we? Or to move cities. And now we’re back together again. Totally different.
“Life is like an escalator,” I add wisely.
When Dad says that to me, I get all annoyed because he just doesn’t understand. But somehow it’s different when I’m giving advice.
“An escalator,” echoes Ed. “Thought it was a box of chocolates.”
“No, definitely an escalator. You see, it carries you on regardless.” I mime an escalator. “And you might as well enjoy the view and seize every opportunity while you’re passing. Otherwise it’ll be too late. That’s what my dad told me when I broke up with this… this guy.”
Ed walks on a few paces. “And did you take his advice?”
“Er… well…” I brush my hair back, avoiding his eye. “Kind of.”
Ed stops and looks at me gravely. “Did you ‘move on’? Did you find it easy? Because I sure as hell haven’t.”
I clear my throat, playing for time. What I did isn’t really the point here, surely?
“You know, there are lots of definitions of ‘move on.’” I try to maintain my wise tone. “Many different variations. Everyone has to move on in their own way.”
I’m not sure I want to get into this conversation, actually. Maybe now is the moment to find a cab.
“Taxi!” I wave my hand at a passing cab, but it sails past, even though its light is on. I hate when they do that.
“Let me.” Ed approaches the curb, and I take out my mobile phone. There’s a pretty good minicab company that I use. Maybe they could come and pick us up. I retreat into a doorway, dial the number, and wait on hold, before I eventually discover that all the cabs are out tonight and it’ll be a half-hour wait.
“No good.” I come out of the doorway to see Ed standing stock still on the pavement. He’s not even trying to hail a cab. “No luck?” I say in surprise.
“Lara.” He turns to me. His face is confused and his eyes are a little glassy. Has he been taking drugs or something? “I think we should go dancing.”
“What?” I peer at him, perplexed.
“I think we should go dancing.” He nods. “It would be a perfect way to round off the evening. It just came to me out of the blue.”
I don’t believe it. Sadie .
I whirl around on the pavement, searching the darkness, and suddenly spot her, floating by a lamppost.
“You!” I exclaim furiously, but Ed doesn’t even seem to notice.
“There’s a nightclub near here,” he’s saying. “Come on. Let’s have a quick dance. It’s a great idea. I should have thought of it before.”
“How do you know there’s a nightclub here?” I retort. “You don’t know London!”
“Yeah, right.” He nods, looking a bit flummoxed himself. “But I’m pretty sure there’s a nightclub down that street.” He gestures. “Down there, third left. We should go check it out.”
