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Ugly Love

Page 17

   


He runs his hands under my scrub top, sliding them up my stomach until they meet my bra. He cups both breasts, then leans forward and kisses me. His kiss doesnt last long, because he breaks it to speak again. Ive never had sex as a captain before.
I smile. Ive never had sex in scrubs before.
His hands slide around to my back, and he dips them inside my waistband. He pulls my h*ps toward him at the same time as he lifts himself ever so slightly, immediately causing my grip to tighten around his shoulders and a gasp to pass my lips. His mouth moves to my ear as his hands re-create the sensual rhythm between us by pulling my h*ps forward again. As hot as you look in uniform, Id much rather have sex with you in nothing at all.
Im embarrassed at how easily his words alone can make me moan. Im also embarrassed at how quickly his voice can undo me, to the point where I probably want my clothes to come off more than he does. Please tell me you came prepared, I say, my voice already heavy with want.
He shakes his head. Just because I knew I would see you tonight doesnt mean I came with expectations. Im immediately filled with disappointment. He lifts himself off the seat and slides his hand into his back pocket. I did, however, come with a hell of a lot of hope. He pulls the condom out of his wallet with a grin, and we both immediately begin to take action. My hands connect with the button on his jeans faster than our mouths connect. He slides his hands up the back of my top and begins to unclasp my bra, but I shake my head.
Just leave it on, I say breathlessly. The less clothes we take off, the faster well be able to get dressed if we get caught.
He continues to unfasten it, despite my protest. I dont want to be inside you unless I can feel you against me.
Wow. Okay, then.
When my bra is undone, he lifts my shirt over my head, and his fingers slide under the straps of my bra. He pulls them down my arms until the bra falls away. He tosses it into the backseat and then pulls his own shirt over his head. After his shirt joins my bra in the backseat, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me against him until our bare chests meet.
We both immediately inhale sharp breaths. The warmth of his body creates a sensation that I dont want to pull away from. He begins kissing his way down my neck, his breath coming in rough waves against my skin.
You have no idea what you do to me, he whispers against my throat.
I smile, because that same exact thought just went through my own head. Oh, I think I have an idea, I reply.
His left hand palms one of my breasts, and he groans as his right hand dips into my pants.
Off, he says simply, tugging at the elastic band.
He doesnt have to ask twice. I scoot back to my empty seat and begin removing the rest of my clothes while I watch him unzip his jeans.
His eyes are all over me as he rips open the condom wrapper with his teeth. When the only article of clothing remaining between us is his unbuttoned pair of jeans, I scoot toward him.
I feel ridiculously self-conscious that Im in my car in the parking lot of my workplace and Im completely na**d. Ive never done anything like this before. Ive never really wanted to do anything like this before. I love how desperate we are for each other right now, but I also know Ive never felt this kind of chemistry with anyone before.
I place my hands on his shoulders and begin to straddle him while he slides on the condom.
Keep it quiet, he says teasingly. Id hate to be the reason you get fired.
I glance at the window, still unable to see outside. Its raining too hard for anyone to hear us, I say. Besides, you were the louder one last time.
He dismisses that with a quick laugh and begins kissing me again. His hands grip my hips, and he pulls me to him, readying himself against me. This position would normally cause me to moan, but Im suddenly feeling stubborn with my noises now that hes mentioned it.
Theres no way I was the louder one, he says with his lips still touching mine. If anything, we tied.
I shake my head. I dont believe in ending things with a tie. Thats a copout for people who are too scared they might lose.
His hands meet my hips, and hes positioned against me in such a way all I would have to do to take him inside me would be to allow it to happen. However, Im refusing to lower myself onto him simply because I like competition and I feel one about to begin.
He lifts his hips, obviously ready to get things going between us. My legs tense, and I pull away just enough.
He laughs at my resistance. Whats wrong, Tate? You scared now? Afraid once Im inside you, well both see who the loud one really is?
Theres a challenging gleam in his eyes. I dont verbally accept his challenge to see who can stay quieter. Instead, I keep my eyes locked with his while I slowly ease myself onto him. Both of us gasp simultaneously, but thats the only sound that passes between us.
As soon as hes all the way inside me, his hands meet my back, and he pulls me against him. The only sounds we make are heavy sighs and even heavier gasps. The rain slapping against the windows and the roof magnifies the silence were experiencing inside the car.
The strength it takes to hold back is coupled with a need to hold on to each other with more desperation. His arms are around my waist, gripping me so tightly it makes it hard to move. My arms are wrapped around his neck, and my eyes are shut. Were barely moving now because of the tight grips we have on each other, but I like it. I like how slow and steady our rhythm remains while we both focus on how to continue suppressing the moans caught in our throats.
For several minutes, we continue in the same manner, moving just enough but at the same time not nearly enough. I think were both too afraid to make any sudden movements, or the intensity will cause one of us to lose.
One of his hands glides around to my lower back, and the other hand meets the back of my head. He takes a handful of my hair and gently tugs until my throat is exposed to his mouth. I wince the second his lips meet my neck, because staying quiet is a lot more challenging than I imagined it would be. Especially since hes at an advantage with the way were positioned. His hands are free to roam anywhere they want, and thats exactly what theyre doing right now.
Roaming, caressing, trailing down my stomach so that he can touch the one place that could make me cede victory.
I feel like hes cheating somehow.
As soon as his fingers find the exact spot that would normally make me scream his name, I tighten my hold around his shoulders and reposition my knees so that I have more control of my movements. I want to put him through just as much torture as hes putting me through right now.
As soon as Im repositioned and able to ease myself further onto him, the slow-and-steady disappears. His mouth meets mine in a frantic kissone with more need and more force than any kiss before it. Its as if were attempting to kiss away our natural desire to verbalize just how good this feels.
Im suddenly hit with a sensation that ripples through my entire body, and I have to lift myself off of him and hold still before I lose. Despite my need to slow things down, he does the opposite and applies more pressure to me with his hand. I bury my face against his neck and bite down gently on his shoulder in order to stop myself from moaning his name.
The second my teeth meet his skin, I hear the hitch in his breath and feel the stiffening in his legs.
He almost loses.
Almost.
If he moves inside me even an inch more while hes touching me this way, hell win. I dont want him to win.
Then again, I kind of do want him to win, and Im thinking he wants to win with the way he breathes against my neck, gently lowering me back down onto him.
Miles, Miles, Miles.
He can sense that this isnt about to end in a tie, so he adds more pressure against me with his fingers at the same time as his tongue meets my ear.
Oh, wow.
Im about to lose.
Any second now.
Oh, my word.
He lifts his h*ps when he pulls me against him, forcing an involuntary Miles! out of my mouth, along with a gasp and a moan. I lift off of him, but as soon as he realizes he just won, he exhales heavily and pulls me back onto him with more force.
Finally, he says breathlessly against my neck. I didnt think I could last another second.
Now that the competition is over, both of us let loose completely until were being so loud we have to kiss again to stifle our sounds. Our bodies are moving in sync, speeding up, crashing harder together. We continue our frantic pace for a few more minutes, escalating in intensity until Im positive I cant take another second of him.
Tate, he says against my mouth, slowing the rhythm of my h*ps with his hands. I want us to come together.
Oh, holy hell.
If he wants me to last any longer, he cant say things like that. I nod my head, unable to form a coherent response.
Are you almost there? he asks.
I nod again and try my best to speak this time, but nothing comes out other than another moan.
Is that a yes?
His lips have stopped kissing mine, and hes focused on my response now. I bring my hands to the back of his head and press my cheek to his.
Yes, I somehow utter. Yes, Miles. Yes. I feel myself begin to tense at the same time as he sucks in a sharp breath.
I thought we were holding each other tightly before, but that doesnt begin to compare to this moment. It feels as if all our senses have magically melded together and were feeling the exact same sensations, making the exact same noises, experiencing the exact same intensity, and sharing the exact same response.
Our rhythm gradually begins to slow, right along with the tremors in our bodies. The tight grips we have around each other begin to loosen. He buries his face into my hair and exhales heavily.
Loser, he whispers.
I laugh and move to bite him playfully on his neck. You cheated, I say. You brought in illegal reinforcement when you started using your hands.
He laughs with a shake of his head. Hands are fair game. But if you think I cheated, maybe we should have a rematch.
I raise my eyebrows. Best two out of three?
He lifts me by my waist and begins to push me toward the passenger door as he struggles to get behind the steering wheel. He hands me my clothes, pulls his shirt back over his head, and buttons his jeans. Once hes situated, I adjust myself in the passenger seat and finish dressing while he cranks the car. He throws it in reverse and begins backing out. Buckle up, he says with a wink.
We barely made it out of the elevator, much less to his bed. He almost took me right there in the hallway. The sad part is, I wouldnt have minded.
He won again. Im beginning to realize that competing for who can stay the quietest isnt really a good idea when my competitor is naturally the quietest person Ive ever met.
Ill get him in round three. Just not tonight, because Corbin will more than likely be heading home soon.
Miles is staring at me. Hes on his stomach, with his hands folded across his pillow and his head resting on his arms. Im getting dressed, because I want to beat Corbin to our apartment so I dont have to lie about where Ive been.
Miles follows me around his bedroom with his eyes as I dress.
I think your bra is still in the hallway, he says with a laugh. Might want to grab it before Corbin finds it.
I crinkle up my nose at the thought. Good idea, I say. I kneel down on the bed and kiss him on the cheek, but he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me forward as he rolls onto his back. He gives me an even better kiss than the one I was just giving him.
Can I ask you a question?
He nods, but its a forced nod. Hes nervous about my questions.
Why dont you ever make eye contact when were having sex?
My question throws him for a loop. He regards me for several silent moments until I pull even farther away and sit next to him on the bed, waiting for his answer.
He pushes himself up and leans back against his headboard, staring down at his hands. People are vulnerable during sex, he says with a shrug. Its easy to confuse feelings and emotions for something they arent, especially when eye contact is involved. He lifts his eyes to mine. Does it bother you?
Im shaking my head no, but my heart is crying Yes! Ill get used to it, I guess. I was just curious.
I love being with him but hate myself more and more with each new lie that passes my lips.
He smiles and pulls me back to his mouth, kissing me with more finality this time. Good night, Tate.
I back away and walk out of his room, feeling his eyes on me the entire time. Its funny how he refuses to make eye contact during sex yet cant seem to keep his eyes off me the rest of the time.
I dont feel like going back to the apartment yet, so after retrieving my bra, I walk to the elevators and make my way down to the lobby to see if Cap is still around. I barely had a chance to wave at him earlier before Miles shoved me onto the elevator and ravished me.
Sure enough, Cap is still planted in his chair, despite the fact that its after ten oclock at night.
Do you ever sleep? I ask as I make my way to the chair next to him.
People are more interesting at night, he says. I like to sleep late. Avoid all the fools who are in too much of a rush in the mornings.
I sigh a lot louder than I intend to when I lean my head back into the chair. Cap notices and turns to look at me.
Oh, no, he says. Trouble with the boy? Looked like the two of you were getting along fine a couple of hours ago. Think I might have even seen a hint of a smile on his face when he walked in with you.
Things are fine, I say. I pause for a few seconds, gathering my thoughts. Have you ever been in love, Cap?
A slow smile spreads across his face. Oh, yes, he says. Her name was Wanda.
How long were you married?
He looks at me and cocks an eyebrow. I aint never been married, he says. I think Wandas marriage lasted about forty years before she passed, though.
I tilt my head, trying to understand what hes saying. You have to give me more than that.