Unafraid
Page 14
“It’s not fine,” Hunter tells me, holding tight to my hand. His eyes are creased with concern as he watches me. “You need to know, I’ll always come through for you. If I make you a promise, I’m going to deliver.”
This time I do pull my hand free. “You can’t say that,” I reply in a small voice, stabbing at a piece of waffle. “You don’t know what’s going to happen. Things get in the way, all the time. It’s better just not to promise, that way…”
I trail off, not wanting to finish.
That way, I don’t get my hopes up. That way, I don’t wind up feeling like a fool.
When I look up again, Hunter is watching me with a crooked smile.
“What’s so funny?” I ask, feeling a flash of defensiveness.
“Nothing.” Hunter replies, his smile broadening. “I just figured out how I’m going to make you believe in me.”
“How?” I challenge.
He smiles at me, so confident and cool, like he’s discovered the secrets to the universe. “I’m going to prove you wrong.”
I blink. “What do you mean?”
“It’s simple,” Hunter says, eyes full of certainty. “You believe that people let you down, that they leave you, and break you, and lie. I won’t. I’m going to be there for you, Brit. No matter what, I’m going to keep showing up, and proving you wrong, until you accept it. I’m not like the rest.”
My breath catches, a painful knot aching in my chest. When he talks like this, saying such sweet promises, I want to believe him, God, I do. Then I remember, every other broken promise, every other man who lied.
“It’s OK,” Hunter says, as if he can see my inner battle. “I’ve got plenty of time. Like I said, I’m not going anywhere.”
“But, why?” I can’t help the plaintive question that slips from my lips. I look at him, so perfect and sweet, and I just can’t understand. “Why me? All of this, the planning, the chasing… Why do all of this, just for me. There are hundreds of other girls—”
“I don’t want them. I want you.”
“But why?” I have to ask again. Maybe if he gives me a reason I can understand. “You just showed up here like some Prince Charming, trying to sweep me off my feet. But I don’t believe in fairy-tales, or handsome princes, or happily-ever-afters. Those things aren’t real.”
“Sure they are.” Hunter says. I glare at him, but he smiles. “Magic is real. It’s the way I feel when I look at you.”
I roll my eyes, but Hunter gets up, coming around the table and pulling me to my feet. “Don’t tell me you don’t feel it,” he murmurs, gently tracing his fingertips down my cheek.
I shiver, closing my eyes to breathe in the sensation of his hands on me, pulling me closer; the crisp, clean citrus scent of his aftershave, laced with something deeper and musky. All him.
“See?” Hunter whispers, close to my ear. He drops tiny kisses down the arch of my neck, making me tremble and setting my body alight. “Magic.”
I waver. When he’s holding me like this, touching me, it’s easy to be seduced by the words that spill so easily from his lips. And maybe I should let him. As long as I know, deep down, I can’t trust him in the end, then what’s the harm in playing along, just for a little while?
The idea is tempting, and so, so easy. Because even though I know it’s right, I don’t want to be stuck like this, so bitter and negative. I don’t want to keep shutting him down. Not with the candlelight dancing all around us, and Hunter’s eyes watching me, eager and hopeful.
I can pretend. I can give him that much, at least.
“Magic,” I say softly, and Hunter’s smile is like a bolt of lightning in the dark skies: bright and true, and enough to take my breath away.
He pulls me into his arms, resting my head against his chest, and begins to sway; slow-dancing softly to the song playing on his souped-up iPod, the same Incubus song he was playing in the truck on the ride back from the fairground.
“How do you do it? Make me feel like I do?”
“How do you do it?” I whisper along with the lyrics, wishing I could keep this moment frozen in time forever. “It’s better than I ever knew…”
We stay on the rooftop for hours, just talking and laughing, sitting on the far perch looking out at the lights across the bay. I want to stay here forever, but too soon, Hunter is packing up his things and driving me home. All the way back, I try and picture the rooftop: framing it in my mind to capture every detail and moment, for all the lonely nights I know I have ahead of me.
“You’re quiet. Sleepy?” Hunter asks, as he pulls out of the parking lot.
I nod, not trusting myself with words right now. Hunter turns his attention to the road, one arm slung over the back of my seat as he drives through the still, silent town. He doesn’t seem to realize just how special this night was for me, but then, he’s probably used to staging amazing dinners for the girls he’s dating; going out of his way to come up with thoughtful little gifts.
He doesn’t know that this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.
I gaze out of the window at dark shadow of the bay, trying to calm the maelstrom of emotions rising up in my chest. I’m not used to this, to feeling so much hope and awe and confusion—like my heart is just overflowing with emotion with no time to process it or take a step back from it all. I’ve spent so many years building a solid fortress around my heart, keeping everyone out with sarcasm and bitter detachment; using every betrayal and disappointment to build my walls higher, forge the steel stronger.
Now, Hunter is blowing all that to pieces.
When I’m with him, I can’t help but want the things I taught myself to never want, dream of a future I know is all a lie. It’s like my head knows the dark truth, that I can never be the girl who gets this life of easy, sweet affection, but my heart is falling over itself to believe him all the same.
But what happens if I fall too far? What happens when Hunter slips off his pedestal, and reveals that he’s just the same as every other guy after all, and leaves me alone with nothing but my memories?
We pull into the driveway at the beach house. Hunter helps me down from the truck and we walk slowly to the front door. I pause on the front porch step.
Silence.
“Thank you,” I say softly, trying to fit all my emotions into just two words. “Tonight was amazing.”
I look up into his eyes and have to catch my breath. Hunter is standing in the shadows, looking like a dangerous angel as the light cuts across his cheekbones; blue eyes shining so strong and true I would gladly drown in their depths.
The edge of his lips quirk upwards in a playful smile. “The night’s not over yet.”
I catch the glint in his eyes. My heart skips. “It’s not?”
“Uh huh.” he shakes his head, reaching to trace up my arm and around the thin straps of my sundress. I shiver. “We’ve still got a while before this truck turns back into a pumpkin.” Hunter gently backs me up against the wall. “And every Prince Charming needs to kiss his princess goodnight.” He dips his head to kiss along my jaw and down my neck.
“It’s way past midnight,” I point out, teasing. My pulse kicks as his tongue laps at the delicate hollow of my collarbone.
“Not in Hawaii.” Hunter replies, his mouth muffled against my skin.
I laugh. “Is that official fairytale time then?”
“Sure.” Hunter lifts his head so I can see his expression, full of amusement. “Everyone knows.”
“I must have missed that week in school,” I murmur, and then the words go out of my mind because Hunter is sliding his hand around the front of my chest, teasing and toying with my ni**les through my dress.
I groan with pleasure. Hunter’s eyes flash dark, and then his lips are on mine again, but there’s nothing gentle about this kiss. It blazes, hot and hard, demanding my surrender. I’m trapped up against the wall, but I give in willingly; locking my hands up around his neck, and pressing myself to the hard contours of his body in an eager embrace.
The feel of him against me is heaven. My br**sts ache, crushed against his chest as Hunter’s tongue works its wicked magic in my mouth. He licks and probes, demanding, and I arch up, desperate for more. His hands rove across my body, sending shivers of sensation rolling through me as he caresses my bare shoulders, down my chest, dragging his thumbs across my hard, aching nipples.
God yes.
I whimper against his mouth, loving the feel of his hands, hot and demanding as they cup and squeeze at my tender breasts. He drags my dress lower, exposing me, and lowers his head, sucking at one bare nipple. I cry out and fall back against the wall. My legs are weak, but he locks one arm around my waist, holding me up as his mouth continues its glorious assault on my br**sts and his other hand slides lower, reaching between us to find the wet, aching heart of me.
Oh!
A sob rises in my throat. His fingers find me through the thin fabric of my dress, rubbing gently in slow, even strokes that send wildfire racing through my blood. I buck against him, mindless, but he won’t speed up his touch. His tongue lazily circles my nipple, licking in tandem with the slow pressure between my thighs, building, rising, until I’m left panting in his arms.
Hunter lifts his head and licks across my lips. “Do you feel that?” he whispers, his fingers fluttering against me.
I moan.
“How about now?”
Hunter eases up my dress, and slips his hand beneath the fabric, his skin hot against my bare thighs. His fingers find me again, rubbing gently, just my panties between us now.
“Oh god,” I whimper, straining against his touch. The heat is building in me, a thick, low ache that cries out for more. For all of him, inside me. Hard and full. “Hunter,” I gasp. “God, don’t stop.”
Hunter takes a labored breath. His eyes are dazed, fixed on mine as his fingers drive me wild. “Jesus, Brit,” he groans, capturing my mouth again in a punishing kiss. “You’re so wet. So f**king perfect.” He slips his thumb under my panties, pushing them aside, and I let out another cry to finally feel his skin, hot on mine. He slides one finger up inside me and I shudder, pleasure rolling through me, heady and sweet. “I want you,” he growls, low in my ear. “God, you make me crazy.”
His thumb circles my clit, stronger now, slick with my desire. I gasp ragged breaths, my whole body trembling, strung out on his touch, and his scent, and the wave of emotions rising, ready to crash, ready to drown us all. His fingers surge faster, pressing harder.
“Come for me, Brit.” Hunter fixes his gaze on mine, dark and demanding.
“I can’t,” I sob, “I’m not there.”
“Yes you are.” Hunter suddenly slows his hand, and I’m left gasping, bereft. “You’re there because I say you are.”
I writhe in his arms, desperate for his touch again. “Please, more,” I beg.
Hunter slowly shakes his head. “You’re going to come for me,” he instructs, a thrilling domination in his tone, “because I’m stopping. In five seconds, I take it all away. So you better come.”
I’m still reeling from his words when he starts the countdown.
“Five, four…” he whispers. My body is aching, my blood boiling in my veins. I see the look in his eyes, determined, and my pulse kicks with fear. I know he’s not playing with me now. He’s going to stop. He’s going to leave me like this, so close, on the edge. He’s going to take it all away.
“Three…” Hunter whispers, stilling his hand and giving one, slow sweep of his thumb. I shudder, desperate, but caught here, frozen, so close.
“Two…” He pulses his fingers inside me, featherlight.
Oh God.
“One.”
And then his hand is gone, and I’m left trembling, on the edge, staring helplessly into his eyes. I’m mindless, in agony, my whole body tense and wanting.
“Come.” Hunter growls the order, taking my face in his hands and slamming me back against the wall. His h*ps grind against me as his tongue plunges deep in my mouth; his hard-on pressing with glorious sharp pressure between my thighs, overwhelming. Obliterating. My body rises to his command and I break, my orgasm sweeping through my body and leaving me gasping into his mouth as I shudder and ache and he kisses me to heaven and back.
I surface from the darkness, limp in his arms. Hunter kisses the corner of my mouth tenderly, holding me up until I can find the strength to stand again.
How can he do this to me? My mind races as I struggle to pull myself back together again. Every time, it’s stronger, deeper; the pleasure more intense. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before, and I realize with a heavy heart, I’m never going to find this feeling again.
“You’re so beautiful when you come,” Hunter whispers, gently tugging my dress back up and smoothing my hair down. “The look in your eyes, it’s like you’re flying.”
“That’s because I am.” I take a shaky breath, still clinging to him. My body still aches, but it’s a different throb from before. This one is deeper, sweeter, thick with the echo of pleasure but still unfulfilled.
Wanting him.
All of him.
I find my keys and open the door, then I turn to him, looping my finger down over the neckline of his shirt and tugging him towards me. “Now it’s your turn,” I say, with a seductive smile. “Come on. It’s time I pay you back for all the good times you’ve been giving me. Even the score.”
This time I do pull my hand free. “You can’t say that,” I reply in a small voice, stabbing at a piece of waffle. “You don’t know what’s going to happen. Things get in the way, all the time. It’s better just not to promise, that way…”
I trail off, not wanting to finish.
That way, I don’t get my hopes up. That way, I don’t wind up feeling like a fool.
When I look up again, Hunter is watching me with a crooked smile.
“What’s so funny?” I ask, feeling a flash of defensiveness.
“Nothing.” Hunter replies, his smile broadening. “I just figured out how I’m going to make you believe in me.”
“How?” I challenge.
He smiles at me, so confident and cool, like he’s discovered the secrets to the universe. “I’m going to prove you wrong.”
I blink. “What do you mean?”
“It’s simple,” Hunter says, eyes full of certainty. “You believe that people let you down, that they leave you, and break you, and lie. I won’t. I’m going to be there for you, Brit. No matter what, I’m going to keep showing up, and proving you wrong, until you accept it. I’m not like the rest.”
My breath catches, a painful knot aching in my chest. When he talks like this, saying such sweet promises, I want to believe him, God, I do. Then I remember, every other broken promise, every other man who lied.
“It’s OK,” Hunter says, as if he can see my inner battle. “I’ve got plenty of time. Like I said, I’m not going anywhere.”
“But, why?” I can’t help the plaintive question that slips from my lips. I look at him, so perfect and sweet, and I just can’t understand. “Why me? All of this, the planning, the chasing… Why do all of this, just for me. There are hundreds of other girls—”
“I don’t want them. I want you.”
“But why?” I have to ask again. Maybe if he gives me a reason I can understand. “You just showed up here like some Prince Charming, trying to sweep me off my feet. But I don’t believe in fairy-tales, or handsome princes, or happily-ever-afters. Those things aren’t real.”
“Sure they are.” Hunter says. I glare at him, but he smiles. “Magic is real. It’s the way I feel when I look at you.”
I roll my eyes, but Hunter gets up, coming around the table and pulling me to my feet. “Don’t tell me you don’t feel it,” he murmurs, gently tracing his fingertips down my cheek.
I shiver, closing my eyes to breathe in the sensation of his hands on me, pulling me closer; the crisp, clean citrus scent of his aftershave, laced with something deeper and musky. All him.
“See?” Hunter whispers, close to my ear. He drops tiny kisses down the arch of my neck, making me tremble and setting my body alight. “Magic.”
I waver. When he’s holding me like this, touching me, it’s easy to be seduced by the words that spill so easily from his lips. And maybe I should let him. As long as I know, deep down, I can’t trust him in the end, then what’s the harm in playing along, just for a little while?
The idea is tempting, and so, so easy. Because even though I know it’s right, I don’t want to be stuck like this, so bitter and negative. I don’t want to keep shutting him down. Not with the candlelight dancing all around us, and Hunter’s eyes watching me, eager and hopeful.
I can pretend. I can give him that much, at least.
“Magic,” I say softly, and Hunter’s smile is like a bolt of lightning in the dark skies: bright and true, and enough to take my breath away.
He pulls me into his arms, resting my head against his chest, and begins to sway; slow-dancing softly to the song playing on his souped-up iPod, the same Incubus song he was playing in the truck on the ride back from the fairground.
“How do you do it? Make me feel like I do?”
“How do you do it?” I whisper along with the lyrics, wishing I could keep this moment frozen in time forever. “It’s better than I ever knew…”
We stay on the rooftop for hours, just talking and laughing, sitting on the far perch looking out at the lights across the bay. I want to stay here forever, but too soon, Hunter is packing up his things and driving me home. All the way back, I try and picture the rooftop: framing it in my mind to capture every detail and moment, for all the lonely nights I know I have ahead of me.
“You’re quiet. Sleepy?” Hunter asks, as he pulls out of the parking lot.
I nod, not trusting myself with words right now. Hunter turns his attention to the road, one arm slung over the back of my seat as he drives through the still, silent town. He doesn’t seem to realize just how special this night was for me, but then, he’s probably used to staging amazing dinners for the girls he’s dating; going out of his way to come up with thoughtful little gifts.
He doesn’t know that this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.
I gaze out of the window at dark shadow of the bay, trying to calm the maelstrom of emotions rising up in my chest. I’m not used to this, to feeling so much hope and awe and confusion—like my heart is just overflowing with emotion with no time to process it or take a step back from it all. I’ve spent so many years building a solid fortress around my heart, keeping everyone out with sarcasm and bitter detachment; using every betrayal and disappointment to build my walls higher, forge the steel stronger.
Now, Hunter is blowing all that to pieces.
When I’m with him, I can’t help but want the things I taught myself to never want, dream of a future I know is all a lie. It’s like my head knows the dark truth, that I can never be the girl who gets this life of easy, sweet affection, but my heart is falling over itself to believe him all the same.
But what happens if I fall too far? What happens when Hunter slips off his pedestal, and reveals that he’s just the same as every other guy after all, and leaves me alone with nothing but my memories?
We pull into the driveway at the beach house. Hunter helps me down from the truck and we walk slowly to the front door. I pause on the front porch step.
Silence.
“Thank you,” I say softly, trying to fit all my emotions into just two words. “Tonight was amazing.”
I look up into his eyes and have to catch my breath. Hunter is standing in the shadows, looking like a dangerous angel as the light cuts across his cheekbones; blue eyes shining so strong and true I would gladly drown in their depths.
The edge of his lips quirk upwards in a playful smile. “The night’s not over yet.”
I catch the glint in his eyes. My heart skips. “It’s not?”
“Uh huh.” he shakes his head, reaching to trace up my arm and around the thin straps of my sundress. I shiver. “We’ve still got a while before this truck turns back into a pumpkin.” Hunter gently backs me up against the wall. “And every Prince Charming needs to kiss his princess goodnight.” He dips his head to kiss along my jaw and down my neck.
“It’s way past midnight,” I point out, teasing. My pulse kicks as his tongue laps at the delicate hollow of my collarbone.
“Not in Hawaii.” Hunter replies, his mouth muffled against my skin.
I laugh. “Is that official fairytale time then?”
“Sure.” Hunter lifts his head so I can see his expression, full of amusement. “Everyone knows.”
“I must have missed that week in school,” I murmur, and then the words go out of my mind because Hunter is sliding his hand around the front of my chest, teasing and toying with my ni**les through my dress.
I groan with pleasure. Hunter’s eyes flash dark, and then his lips are on mine again, but there’s nothing gentle about this kiss. It blazes, hot and hard, demanding my surrender. I’m trapped up against the wall, but I give in willingly; locking my hands up around his neck, and pressing myself to the hard contours of his body in an eager embrace.
The feel of him against me is heaven. My br**sts ache, crushed against his chest as Hunter’s tongue works its wicked magic in my mouth. He licks and probes, demanding, and I arch up, desperate for more. His hands rove across my body, sending shivers of sensation rolling through me as he caresses my bare shoulders, down my chest, dragging his thumbs across my hard, aching nipples.
God yes.
I whimper against his mouth, loving the feel of his hands, hot and demanding as they cup and squeeze at my tender breasts. He drags my dress lower, exposing me, and lowers his head, sucking at one bare nipple. I cry out and fall back against the wall. My legs are weak, but he locks one arm around my waist, holding me up as his mouth continues its glorious assault on my br**sts and his other hand slides lower, reaching between us to find the wet, aching heart of me.
Oh!
A sob rises in my throat. His fingers find me through the thin fabric of my dress, rubbing gently in slow, even strokes that send wildfire racing through my blood. I buck against him, mindless, but he won’t speed up his touch. His tongue lazily circles my nipple, licking in tandem with the slow pressure between my thighs, building, rising, until I’m left panting in his arms.
Hunter lifts his head and licks across my lips. “Do you feel that?” he whispers, his fingers fluttering against me.
I moan.
“How about now?”
Hunter eases up my dress, and slips his hand beneath the fabric, his skin hot against my bare thighs. His fingers find me again, rubbing gently, just my panties between us now.
“Oh god,” I whimper, straining against his touch. The heat is building in me, a thick, low ache that cries out for more. For all of him, inside me. Hard and full. “Hunter,” I gasp. “God, don’t stop.”
Hunter takes a labored breath. His eyes are dazed, fixed on mine as his fingers drive me wild. “Jesus, Brit,” he groans, capturing my mouth again in a punishing kiss. “You’re so wet. So f**king perfect.” He slips his thumb under my panties, pushing them aside, and I let out another cry to finally feel his skin, hot on mine. He slides one finger up inside me and I shudder, pleasure rolling through me, heady and sweet. “I want you,” he growls, low in my ear. “God, you make me crazy.”
His thumb circles my clit, stronger now, slick with my desire. I gasp ragged breaths, my whole body trembling, strung out on his touch, and his scent, and the wave of emotions rising, ready to crash, ready to drown us all. His fingers surge faster, pressing harder.
“Come for me, Brit.” Hunter fixes his gaze on mine, dark and demanding.
“I can’t,” I sob, “I’m not there.”
“Yes you are.” Hunter suddenly slows his hand, and I’m left gasping, bereft. “You’re there because I say you are.”
I writhe in his arms, desperate for his touch again. “Please, more,” I beg.
Hunter slowly shakes his head. “You’re going to come for me,” he instructs, a thrilling domination in his tone, “because I’m stopping. In five seconds, I take it all away. So you better come.”
I’m still reeling from his words when he starts the countdown.
“Five, four…” he whispers. My body is aching, my blood boiling in my veins. I see the look in his eyes, determined, and my pulse kicks with fear. I know he’s not playing with me now. He’s going to stop. He’s going to leave me like this, so close, on the edge. He’s going to take it all away.
“Three…” Hunter whispers, stilling his hand and giving one, slow sweep of his thumb. I shudder, desperate, but caught here, frozen, so close.
“Two…” He pulses his fingers inside me, featherlight.
Oh God.
“One.”
And then his hand is gone, and I’m left trembling, on the edge, staring helplessly into his eyes. I’m mindless, in agony, my whole body tense and wanting.
“Come.” Hunter growls the order, taking my face in his hands and slamming me back against the wall. His h*ps grind against me as his tongue plunges deep in my mouth; his hard-on pressing with glorious sharp pressure between my thighs, overwhelming. Obliterating. My body rises to his command and I break, my orgasm sweeping through my body and leaving me gasping into his mouth as I shudder and ache and he kisses me to heaven and back.
I surface from the darkness, limp in his arms. Hunter kisses the corner of my mouth tenderly, holding me up until I can find the strength to stand again.
How can he do this to me? My mind races as I struggle to pull myself back together again. Every time, it’s stronger, deeper; the pleasure more intense. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before, and I realize with a heavy heart, I’m never going to find this feeling again.
“You’re so beautiful when you come,” Hunter whispers, gently tugging my dress back up and smoothing my hair down. “The look in your eyes, it’s like you’re flying.”
“That’s because I am.” I take a shaky breath, still clinging to him. My body still aches, but it’s a different throb from before. This one is deeper, sweeter, thick with the echo of pleasure but still unfulfilled.
Wanting him.
All of him.
I find my keys and open the door, then I turn to him, looping my finger down over the neckline of his shirt and tugging him towards me. “Now it’s your turn,” I say, with a seductive smile. “Come on. It’s time I pay you back for all the good times you’ve been giving me. Even the score.”
