Unbroken
Page 43
Our eyes catch, and I know that both of us are thinking about that midnight deadline. Damn, but it’s going to be a long night.
Emerson gives me a rueful smile, then takes the wheel again. I scoot back in my seat and try to focus on the gorgeous scenery outside the boat—instead of the masterpiece I’ve got right here in front of me. As we skirt around the bay, twilight fades into a dusky pale sky, the shoreline turning to dark shadows against the dark water. I let the motion of the waves wash through me, marveling that after all these years, I’m right here with Emerson, all over again.
I smile to myself. Never mind all the emotion and uncertainty dancing away in the back of my mind. Tonight, I just get to be with him, out here on the ocean, away from dry land and all the complications waiting back on shore.
“What are you smiling at?” Emerson asks. I look up to find him watching me, a quizzical expression on his face.
“This.” I shrug, self-conscious. “You. Us.” I quickly realize my mistake, and try to cover it, “Not, you know, us, just being here, right now… It’s… nice, is all I’m saying.” I trail off, blushing. I hope Emerson doesn’t freak out, or think I’m getting ahead of myself. One date doesn’t make a relationship, I know.
“Good.” Something flickers across Emerson’s face, a shadow that makes me wonder if he’s thinking of bad memories, but then it’s gone, and he’s looking at me with a quiet intensity that takes my breath away.
He glances down to check his watch. “Three more hours.” He says, with a dark grin. “And then I promise you, ‘nice’ will be the last word on your mind.”
“Feeling pretty cocky, huh?” I tease.
“Damn right.” Emerson shoots back with a smirk. “You haven’t had any complaints so far.”
I laugh. Something in me registers that it’s crazy to be joking about this—about falling into bed with him again, when I know that it’ll rob me of my last shred of self-control and sense—but there’s something so easy about it, a natural banter like we’ve always been laughing and talking together. Like there’s never been any darkness between us.
My thoughts are interrupted by a rumble in my stomach, reminding me I haven’t eaten in hours. Was it really this morning I had breakfast, miserable and hung-over back in the city with Lacey?
Emerson must hear it too, because he laughs. “Nearly there.”
We sail for another five minutes or so, until we reach a secluded cove. It’s a beautiful spot: sheltered from the rest of the bay by an outcropping of rocks, with the beach visible in the distance. Emerson cuts the engine, so we’re drifting, bobbing gently on the evening tide.
He fetches up the hamper, and a blanket and pillows, setting them out on the deck like a real picnic. I settle down and get comfortable, and he hands me a beer.
“We should toast,” I say, holding up my bottle.
“What to?” Emerson asks.
Suddenly, my mind goes blank. Everything I could say seems loaded with meaning. Should I toast to new beginnings? To the past? To moving on? Nothing sounds right.
“How about, to unexpected reunions?” Emerson suggests, when I don’t answer.
I take a quick breath of relief. “To unexpected reunions,” I echo, clinking my bottle against his.
Emerson unpacks the hamper, and soon we’re digging into the delicious meal. We chat easily – simple, no-conflict topics like how we’ve spent the last few years: the trips we’ve taken, how school is going for me.
“If you’ve got finals coming up, shouldn’t you be back at school?” Emerson frowns when I tell him about my unofficial study leave.
“I don’t need to be there until the actual exams,” I say. “I brought all my books back with me, and I only need a few more credits to graduate.”
“Then what?” Emerson tilts his head to look at me.
I glance down, and give an awkward shrug. “I don’t know. I thought I had it all figured out,” I explain. “I was going to move up to DC, with Daniel.”
“Daniel.” Emerson repeats it slowly. “So that’s his name.”
I feel a stab of guilt. Two years I was with the guy, and already it’s like I’ve forgotten about him. But Emerson does that to me: he blots out everything else in the world, like we’re the only people who have ever existed for each other.
I shake my head, focusing back on the man in front of me. The one waiting patiently for answers. “Anyways, I guess that’s off now, so…” I trail off, realizing for the first time that it wasn’t just my relationship with Daniel I threw away when I broke things off, it was my whole entire life plan. The apartment, the job, the move… For months now, I’ve known exactly what’s waiting for me on the other side of graduation, but now?
Now, there’s just a blank slate. And it scares the crap out of me.
I gulp down the rest of my beer to mask my anxiety. “What about you?” I ask brightly. “You never thought about getting out of town?”
Emerson looks out, across the ocean. He gives a slow shrug. “I never really had the choice. I mean, Brit and Ray Jay needed someone around to look out for them.”
“But they’re grown up now,” I point out.
He snorts. “Debatable. Brit’s still leaving shit all over my apartment. She keeps saying she’s going to move out and get a new place, but… it doesn’t happen.”
Emerson gives me a rueful smile, then takes the wheel again. I scoot back in my seat and try to focus on the gorgeous scenery outside the boat—instead of the masterpiece I’ve got right here in front of me. As we skirt around the bay, twilight fades into a dusky pale sky, the shoreline turning to dark shadows against the dark water. I let the motion of the waves wash through me, marveling that after all these years, I’m right here with Emerson, all over again.
I smile to myself. Never mind all the emotion and uncertainty dancing away in the back of my mind. Tonight, I just get to be with him, out here on the ocean, away from dry land and all the complications waiting back on shore.
“What are you smiling at?” Emerson asks. I look up to find him watching me, a quizzical expression on his face.
“This.” I shrug, self-conscious. “You. Us.” I quickly realize my mistake, and try to cover it, “Not, you know, us, just being here, right now… It’s… nice, is all I’m saying.” I trail off, blushing. I hope Emerson doesn’t freak out, or think I’m getting ahead of myself. One date doesn’t make a relationship, I know.
“Good.” Something flickers across Emerson’s face, a shadow that makes me wonder if he’s thinking of bad memories, but then it’s gone, and he’s looking at me with a quiet intensity that takes my breath away.
He glances down to check his watch. “Three more hours.” He says, with a dark grin. “And then I promise you, ‘nice’ will be the last word on your mind.”
“Feeling pretty cocky, huh?” I tease.
“Damn right.” Emerson shoots back with a smirk. “You haven’t had any complaints so far.”
I laugh. Something in me registers that it’s crazy to be joking about this—about falling into bed with him again, when I know that it’ll rob me of my last shred of self-control and sense—but there’s something so easy about it, a natural banter like we’ve always been laughing and talking together. Like there’s never been any darkness between us.
My thoughts are interrupted by a rumble in my stomach, reminding me I haven’t eaten in hours. Was it really this morning I had breakfast, miserable and hung-over back in the city with Lacey?
Emerson must hear it too, because he laughs. “Nearly there.”
We sail for another five minutes or so, until we reach a secluded cove. It’s a beautiful spot: sheltered from the rest of the bay by an outcropping of rocks, with the beach visible in the distance. Emerson cuts the engine, so we’re drifting, bobbing gently on the evening tide.
He fetches up the hamper, and a blanket and pillows, setting them out on the deck like a real picnic. I settle down and get comfortable, and he hands me a beer.
“We should toast,” I say, holding up my bottle.
“What to?” Emerson asks.
Suddenly, my mind goes blank. Everything I could say seems loaded with meaning. Should I toast to new beginnings? To the past? To moving on? Nothing sounds right.
“How about, to unexpected reunions?” Emerson suggests, when I don’t answer.
I take a quick breath of relief. “To unexpected reunions,” I echo, clinking my bottle against his.
Emerson unpacks the hamper, and soon we’re digging into the delicious meal. We chat easily – simple, no-conflict topics like how we’ve spent the last few years: the trips we’ve taken, how school is going for me.
“If you’ve got finals coming up, shouldn’t you be back at school?” Emerson frowns when I tell him about my unofficial study leave.
“I don’t need to be there until the actual exams,” I say. “I brought all my books back with me, and I only need a few more credits to graduate.”
“Then what?” Emerson tilts his head to look at me.
I glance down, and give an awkward shrug. “I don’t know. I thought I had it all figured out,” I explain. “I was going to move up to DC, with Daniel.”
“Daniel.” Emerson repeats it slowly. “So that’s his name.”
I feel a stab of guilt. Two years I was with the guy, and already it’s like I’ve forgotten about him. But Emerson does that to me: he blots out everything else in the world, like we’re the only people who have ever existed for each other.
I shake my head, focusing back on the man in front of me. The one waiting patiently for answers. “Anyways, I guess that’s off now, so…” I trail off, realizing for the first time that it wasn’t just my relationship with Daniel I threw away when I broke things off, it was my whole entire life plan. The apartment, the job, the move… For months now, I’ve known exactly what’s waiting for me on the other side of graduation, but now?
Now, there’s just a blank slate. And it scares the crap out of me.
I gulp down the rest of my beer to mask my anxiety. “What about you?” I ask brightly. “You never thought about getting out of town?”
Emerson looks out, across the ocean. He gives a slow shrug. “I never really had the choice. I mean, Brit and Ray Jay needed someone around to look out for them.”
“But they’re grown up now,” I point out.
He snorts. “Debatable. Brit’s still leaving shit all over my apartment. She keeps saying she’s going to move out and get a new place, but… it doesn’t happen.”
