Uncivilized
Page 64
The day with Randall was extremely interesting, but I kept getting the feeling that he was putting on too much of a show for me. He went to great lengths to describe his business, focusing on the company’s customer service platform and well-made products for a moderate price. He clearly has great pride in his work, but it was as if he were desperate for me to feel that same pride. I paid diligent attention, asking questions and letting my curiosity be satisfied. As we were having dinner that night at the end of the workday, it all became clear to me when Randall wistfully said, “I wish I had someone like you, Zach, to take over for me one day.”
Those words right there said it all. He was looking at me as if I were his heir, and I’m so totally not that person.
Moira had cut a side-glance at me, her eyes filled with apprehension. She didn’t miss it either.
But I put a stop to his notions, when I kindly but firmly said, “I appreciate the sentiment, Randall, but it’s just not something that interests me.”
How could it interest me? Not when my heart and soul were back in the rainforest.
Still, I won’t deny that I didn’t start thinking about what it would be like to stay here… not for the opportunity to work for Randall, but to have Moira by my side every day. What would it be like to commit myself to one woman, and be able to indulge in the extreme pleasures she’s given me every night, and sometimes during the day, since we came to Atlanta?
I had no answer to those thoughts.
Randall has no doubt been kinder to me than I could have imagined. But his kindness brings about a certain level of dissatisfaction to my soul. On the day he took me to see my parents’ house, he advised me that he had set up a bank account for my use while I was here. He then handed me a small, square piece of plastic and then had to explain to me what a credit card was.
I tried to hand it back to him, adamantly refusing his charity. I had done nothing to earn this money. But then he pointed out that I had already accepted his “charity” by agreeing to come back to the States, by agreeing to accept Moira’s help for which he was paying for, and by eating his food and staying in his house.
He didn’t say this with any animosity, only with a kind reminder that I was here as his guest but, more importantly, as a family member. That caused a weird stirring of emotion within me that I quickly tamped down. Randall then told me he had more money than God, and that he would take it as an insult if I didn’t take advantage of his hospitality. He said it would be a means to help honor my parents for all the wonderful joy they provided him throughout the years they knew each other.
That made me feel like shit, so I took the credit card and shoved it in my pocket, even as I hated being dependent on Randall for my security. As someone who devoted much of his life to helping to provide for the welfare of an entire tribe, it galled me to be given something that wasn’t earned.
The next day, Moira took me to a mall, which had so many stores to shop in that my head was spinning, and we purchased my very own laptop. I spent a lot of my free time on it, looking up everything from music to books to yup… more information on sex. If I was going to take advantage of my time here, I was going to try everything I possibly could with Moira.
Speaking of Moira, I sit up from my bed where I had been perusing the wonders of Amazon—the online store, not the rainforest region—and walk into her room. She said she had some work emails to catch up on, and it’s getting late. I’m feeling the need to f**k her, which is an almost constant craving I have when she’s in the immediate vicinity.
And even when she’s not.
I see her sitting at a small desk near the east window of her room, reading something on her screen.
“Still working?” I ask as I walk up behind her.
She gives a little jump but turns to me with a smile. “All done. Just reading an email from my sister.”
“Sister?” How did I not know she has a sister? Maybe because I never asked her.
“Yes… Lisa. She lives in North Carolina, and we were trying to coordinate a visit while I’m here.”
“Can I meet her?” I ask, because now I find myself even more curious about Moira. She spends all of her time devoted to me, yet I shamefully haven’t shown much interest in her outside of getting her naked.
She smiles at me as she stands from her chair, arching her back, which pushes her br**sts out, and immediately… I want to f**k her harder than I had planned. “Sure. Maybe we can go this weekend if Randall doesn’t have any major plans.”
Reaching out, I pull Moira into my arms and lean down to put my nose in her hair. It smells like apples and sunshine. “Are you close to your sister?”
Leaning in to rest her cheek on my chest, in a move so unbelievably sweet it makes my breath catch, she says, “Yes. Very close. She raised me after our parents died.”
I jerk backward slightly and look down at Moira, who turns her face up to me with question in her eyes.
“Your parents are dead?” I’m even more ashamed I didn’t know that, particularly because it’s something we have in common.
“My dad died when I was thirteen. A heart attack. And my mom just two years later from cancer. Lisa’s five years older than me, so she became my legal guardian.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell her sincerely. “I had no idea.”
“It’s okay,” she says as she squeezes me and steps back from my embrace. “I guess we have something in common though, right? Parents dead when we were children. Raised by someone else.”
Those words right there said it all. He was looking at me as if I were his heir, and I’m so totally not that person.
Moira had cut a side-glance at me, her eyes filled with apprehension. She didn’t miss it either.
But I put a stop to his notions, when I kindly but firmly said, “I appreciate the sentiment, Randall, but it’s just not something that interests me.”
How could it interest me? Not when my heart and soul were back in the rainforest.
Still, I won’t deny that I didn’t start thinking about what it would be like to stay here… not for the opportunity to work for Randall, but to have Moira by my side every day. What would it be like to commit myself to one woman, and be able to indulge in the extreme pleasures she’s given me every night, and sometimes during the day, since we came to Atlanta?
I had no answer to those thoughts.
Randall has no doubt been kinder to me than I could have imagined. But his kindness brings about a certain level of dissatisfaction to my soul. On the day he took me to see my parents’ house, he advised me that he had set up a bank account for my use while I was here. He then handed me a small, square piece of plastic and then had to explain to me what a credit card was.
I tried to hand it back to him, adamantly refusing his charity. I had done nothing to earn this money. But then he pointed out that I had already accepted his “charity” by agreeing to come back to the States, by agreeing to accept Moira’s help for which he was paying for, and by eating his food and staying in his house.
He didn’t say this with any animosity, only with a kind reminder that I was here as his guest but, more importantly, as a family member. That caused a weird stirring of emotion within me that I quickly tamped down. Randall then told me he had more money than God, and that he would take it as an insult if I didn’t take advantage of his hospitality. He said it would be a means to help honor my parents for all the wonderful joy they provided him throughout the years they knew each other.
That made me feel like shit, so I took the credit card and shoved it in my pocket, even as I hated being dependent on Randall for my security. As someone who devoted much of his life to helping to provide for the welfare of an entire tribe, it galled me to be given something that wasn’t earned.
The next day, Moira took me to a mall, which had so many stores to shop in that my head was spinning, and we purchased my very own laptop. I spent a lot of my free time on it, looking up everything from music to books to yup… more information on sex. If I was going to take advantage of my time here, I was going to try everything I possibly could with Moira.
Speaking of Moira, I sit up from my bed where I had been perusing the wonders of Amazon—the online store, not the rainforest region—and walk into her room. She said she had some work emails to catch up on, and it’s getting late. I’m feeling the need to f**k her, which is an almost constant craving I have when she’s in the immediate vicinity.
And even when she’s not.
I see her sitting at a small desk near the east window of her room, reading something on her screen.
“Still working?” I ask as I walk up behind her.
She gives a little jump but turns to me with a smile. “All done. Just reading an email from my sister.”
“Sister?” How did I not know she has a sister? Maybe because I never asked her.
“Yes… Lisa. She lives in North Carolina, and we were trying to coordinate a visit while I’m here.”
“Can I meet her?” I ask, because now I find myself even more curious about Moira. She spends all of her time devoted to me, yet I shamefully haven’t shown much interest in her outside of getting her naked.
She smiles at me as she stands from her chair, arching her back, which pushes her br**sts out, and immediately… I want to f**k her harder than I had planned. “Sure. Maybe we can go this weekend if Randall doesn’t have any major plans.”
Reaching out, I pull Moira into my arms and lean down to put my nose in her hair. It smells like apples and sunshine. “Are you close to your sister?”
Leaning in to rest her cheek on my chest, in a move so unbelievably sweet it makes my breath catch, she says, “Yes. Very close. She raised me after our parents died.”
I jerk backward slightly and look down at Moira, who turns her face up to me with question in her eyes.
“Your parents are dead?” I’m even more ashamed I didn’t know that, particularly because it’s something we have in common.
“My dad died when I was thirteen. A heart attack. And my mom just two years later from cancer. Lisa’s five years older than me, so she became my legal guardian.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell her sincerely. “I had no idea.”
“It’s okay,” she says as she squeezes me and steps back from my embrace. “I guess we have something in common though, right? Parents dead when we were children. Raised by someone else.”
