UnDivided
Page 18
“Why can’t the military just tell people things?” Cam says. “Why must they brief?”
“I thought you, of all people, would appreciate linguistic formality.”
“Don’t you mean ‘you of many people’? It would be beyond hyperbolic to suggest I am made of all people.”
Cam’s impending West Point experience—his entire life, it seems—has been spelled out for him. He’ll be whisked through officer training, all the while posing for photo ops, and becoming the “Face of the Modern American Military,” whatever that means. He hated the idea at first, but he’s had a pronounced change of heart.
He must admit, the formal dress uniform looks great on him. It makes him look important. Part of something greater than himself. He imagines all the high-level people he’ll brush elbows with—not just as a novelty, but as a proud officer of the United States Marine Corps—for they said he could choose his branch, and he chose the Marines. He thinks of his glorious future, and he’s overjoyed. Yet not.
He finally turns his gaze from the ocean. “Let’s talk about the person you’re making me forget. Let’s talk about the girl”
Roberta finishes her foie gras, unfazed. “You know I won’t discuss it, so why ask?”
“Because the closest I’ll ever come to remembering is forcing you to remember.”
Their server comes to take away the appetizers, and brings the prime rib. Cam finds he’s hungry for it, but not hungry enough to start right away. “I can still feel the worm in my brain.”
“It’s not really a worm. It’s just a clever bit of nanotechnology, and anything you’re feeling is just in your imagination.”
He begins to cut his meat, imagining how his piecemeal brain has been routed by the army of microscopic nanites crawling along his axons, leaping between dendrites, all tuned to seek out very specific memory patterns. The moment his conscious thought hits upon the targeted memory, it gets zapped. No mess, no bother. For the first few days after the procedure, Cam was plagued with that tip-of-the tongue feeling, reaching for a name and a face he thought he remembered a moment ago, but was then gone. The feeling has lessened, but the nagging sense of absence has remained. Well, not entirely. Because the nanites are also designed to tweak his pleasure receptors whenever he thinks of anything relating to the military. It’s been filling the gaps like spackle in a cracking plaster wall.
It’s the peripheral things he still knows that make it so difficult to leave his past life behind. He knows he was in Akron. He remembers helping Connor Lassiter, but the details are fuzzy. Cam also knows he chose to become a hero to The Girl, rather than be a hero to Proactive Citizenry. He could have turned them all in and done the nation a great service that would insure his place in history . . . but The Girl would hate him for the rest of his life if he had done it. So he chose to be a hero to her in a way that would outshine anything that Connor had ever done. And then maybe . . . maybe . . . when she tired of the Akron AWOL, she would see the purity of what he had done for her. And The Girl would love him. Cam chose the long play and was willing to wait. But now, he can’t remember her face, or her name, or anything about her. He never imagined she could be stolen from the inside out.
“Is the prime rib to your liking, Cam?”
“It’s fine.”
“Just fine?”
“It’s excellent. Must you always make inquiries of my taste buds?”
Roberta sighs. “Cam, please, I don’t want to fight. It’s our last week together. I want it to be pleasant.”
“You’re not coming with me?” Not that he wants her to, but as his “handler” in all public matters, he had just assumed she would.
“No one wants a doting mother at West Point,” she says.
That catches Cam by surprise. Apparently it catches Roberta by surprise as well. A slip she didn’t intend to make. It’s the first time she’s ever actually used the M word. Cam always felt theirs was a distorted parental/child relationship, but use of the M word has always been an unspoken taboo.
Roberta clears her throat and dots her lips with her napkin. “Besides, there’s too much work to do here once you’re gone.”
That piques Cam’s interest. “What sort of work?”
“Nothing you need to concern yourself with.”
He knew she would attempt deflection. The idea of her focusing her attentions elsewhere brings forth a wave of unexpected jealousy. “Will you be gathering choice parts for the new-and-improved me?”
Cam notices the way Roberta slices her meat. With smooth grace, the same way she answers the question. “You said it once yourself, Cam—you are the concept car. The perfect design. A pinnacle to strive for.” She inserts a piece of meat in her mouth, chews, and swallows before she speaks again. “Rest assured, we can’t improve on you, and won’t even try. You are our star, and always will be.”
“So, what then?”
“Extrapolate for yourself if you must, but my work is classified. Just as my work with you was classified. I won’t discuss it.”
“Yes,” says Cam with a grin, “the expression ‘eyes only’ takes on a new meaning when you’re surgically removing them from Unwinds.”
“Cam, we’re eating. That’s far from appropriate luncheon conversation.”
“Pardon my indiscretion.”
“I thought you, of all people, would appreciate linguistic formality.”
“Don’t you mean ‘you of many people’? It would be beyond hyperbolic to suggest I am made of all people.”
Cam’s impending West Point experience—his entire life, it seems—has been spelled out for him. He’ll be whisked through officer training, all the while posing for photo ops, and becoming the “Face of the Modern American Military,” whatever that means. He hated the idea at first, but he’s had a pronounced change of heart.
He must admit, the formal dress uniform looks great on him. It makes him look important. Part of something greater than himself. He imagines all the high-level people he’ll brush elbows with—not just as a novelty, but as a proud officer of the United States Marine Corps—for they said he could choose his branch, and he chose the Marines. He thinks of his glorious future, and he’s overjoyed. Yet not.
He finally turns his gaze from the ocean. “Let’s talk about the person you’re making me forget. Let’s talk about the girl”
Roberta finishes her foie gras, unfazed. “You know I won’t discuss it, so why ask?”
“Because the closest I’ll ever come to remembering is forcing you to remember.”
Their server comes to take away the appetizers, and brings the prime rib. Cam finds he’s hungry for it, but not hungry enough to start right away. “I can still feel the worm in my brain.”
“It’s not really a worm. It’s just a clever bit of nanotechnology, and anything you’re feeling is just in your imagination.”
He begins to cut his meat, imagining how his piecemeal brain has been routed by the army of microscopic nanites crawling along his axons, leaping between dendrites, all tuned to seek out very specific memory patterns. The moment his conscious thought hits upon the targeted memory, it gets zapped. No mess, no bother. For the first few days after the procedure, Cam was plagued with that tip-of-the tongue feeling, reaching for a name and a face he thought he remembered a moment ago, but was then gone. The feeling has lessened, but the nagging sense of absence has remained. Well, not entirely. Because the nanites are also designed to tweak his pleasure receptors whenever he thinks of anything relating to the military. It’s been filling the gaps like spackle in a cracking plaster wall.
It’s the peripheral things he still knows that make it so difficult to leave his past life behind. He knows he was in Akron. He remembers helping Connor Lassiter, but the details are fuzzy. Cam also knows he chose to become a hero to The Girl, rather than be a hero to Proactive Citizenry. He could have turned them all in and done the nation a great service that would insure his place in history . . . but The Girl would hate him for the rest of his life if he had done it. So he chose to be a hero to her in a way that would outshine anything that Connor had ever done. And then maybe . . . maybe . . . when she tired of the Akron AWOL, she would see the purity of what he had done for her. And The Girl would love him. Cam chose the long play and was willing to wait. But now, he can’t remember her face, or her name, or anything about her. He never imagined she could be stolen from the inside out.
“Is the prime rib to your liking, Cam?”
“It’s fine.”
“Just fine?”
“It’s excellent. Must you always make inquiries of my taste buds?”
Roberta sighs. “Cam, please, I don’t want to fight. It’s our last week together. I want it to be pleasant.”
“You’re not coming with me?” Not that he wants her to, but as his “handler” in all public matters, he had just assumed she would.
“No one wants a doting mother at West Point,” she says.
That catches Cam by surprise. Apparently it catches Roberta by surprise as well. A slip she didn’t intend to make. It’s the first time she’s ever actually used the M word. Cam always felt theirs was a distorted parental/child relationship, but use of the M word has always been an unspoken taboo.
Roberta clears her throat and dots her lips with her napkin. “Besides, there’s too much work to do here once you’re gone.”
That piques Cam’s interest. “What sort of work?”
“Nothing you need to concern yourself with.”
He knew she would attempt deflection. The idea of her focusing her attentions elsewhere brings forth a wave of unexpected jealousy. “Will you be gathering choice parts for the new-and-improved me?”
Cam notices the way Roberta slices her meat. With smooth grace, the same way she answers the question. “You said it once yourself, Cam—you are the concept car. The perfect design. A pinnacle to strive for.” She inserts a piece of meat in her mouth, chews, and swallows before she speaks again. “Rest assured, we can’t improve on you, and won’t even try. You are our star, and always will be.”
“So, what then?”
“Extrapolate for yourself if you must, but my work is classified. Just as my work with you was classified. I won’t discuss it.”
“Yes,” says Cam with a grin, “the expression ‘eyes only’ takes on a new meaning when you’re surgically removing them from Unwinds.”
“Cam, we’re eating. That’s far from appropriate luncheon conversation.”
“Pardon my indiscretion.”
