Uninhibited
Page 71
And then the lights went up, and he was there, right in front of me: power and grace, darkness and hope, pouring his beautiful broken heart into every chord and lyric.
Watching him, I feel a certainty wash over me like I’ve never known before.
This man.
This reckless, brave, miracle of a man.
He’s everything, and I can’t believe it took me so long to realize.
Soon, too soon, the song is over and they’re gone, hustled away backstage while the awards show continues. I fight my way to the edge of the crowd, and come face-to-face with a hulking great security guard. “I need to get backstage,” I yell.
“Sure you do, sweetheart. You and all the rest.” He chuckles, standing firm against the sea of other girls all clamoring around me.
Crap. I didn’t think this far ahead. I managed to find a scalper selling tickets on the Strip, and spent an outrageous amount to get inside. It was worth every penny, but now that I’m here, there’s an army of security between me and Dex.
Then I see a familiar face, just beyond the barricade. “Tegan!” I yell. “Tegan, over here!”
She turns, her eyes widening when she recognizes me. “It’s OK,” she tells the guy, coming forward. “She’s with me.”
There’s a chorus of complaint from the other girls as she grabs my hand and drags me through, slipping a gold wristband over my hand. She leads me backstage. “What are you doing here?”
But there’s no time to explain. “Where’s Dex?” I ask breathlessly.
“Around here somewhere…” Tegan glances around, but it’s madness back here: hundreds of people all heading in a dozen different directions. “I think he was heading to the dressing room. It’s down that way,” she nods to a hallway. “Wait.”
Tegan yanks me back. “If you break my brother’s heart again, I will rip you apart with my bare hands,” she tells me calmly.
“I won’t,” I promise.
She breaks into a smile. “I know. Good luck!”
Tegan whirls away, so I head in the direction she told me, fighting my way through security and sound guys, and hordes of celebrities in fancy formal wear. Finally, I reach the dressing room marked for the band.
I pause outside the door. Should I knock? But before I can decide, the door flies open, and I’m staring Dex straight in the face.
Oh God.
My heart stops. I can’t help it, he looks too good, sweating from the performance, his tattoos snaking from under his black T-shirt. Those dark eyes fix on mine, but before I can say a word, he yanks me inside the room, slams the door, and captures my mouth in a blazing kiss.
Yes.
I fall into him, reveling in the familiar bliss of his lips on mine; the hot plunge of his tongue probing in my mouth, demanding and deep. I hold tight, clinging to his taut body, kissing him hard enough to blot out the miserable days I’ve spent without him, all the sleepless nights and tears I’ve cried. I kiss him to convey just how much I need him, how I’m never letting go again, how he’s all I want in the world.
Forever.
We come up for air, breathing hard. Dex holds me tight, staring down at me like he’s worried I might vanish into thin air. “I couldn’t believe it was you,” he murmurs, reaching up to cradle my cheek with his hand. “When I saw you…I thought I was imagining things.”
“It’s me,” I whisper, overwhelmed. God, how could I have ever let him walk away? I’ve never felt so right as holding him in my arms right now. “I’m real.”
“God, I’m so sorry.” Dex tilts his head to rest against mine. “Everything I said to you, the way I just left…Please, forgive me. I’ve hated myself every minute of every day.”
“I’m sorry too,” I tell him, tears stinging in the back of my throat. “Back at the wedding, I panicked. I didn’t know what to tell you—”
“No,” Dex insists, cutting me off. “You were right. I was acting crazy, asking so much of you. It was too soon.”
“But you were right,” I whisper. “When you feel something like that, you just know.”
Dex inhales a ragged breath. “And do you?” he whispers, his eyes searching mine. I can see the need there, the hope, and I’m blown away that I’m the one he’s gazing at.
I’m the one he needs.
“I love you.” I say it simply, the only way I know how. “I was scared, I’ve never done this before, been with anyone like this. This is real.” I swallow, but I can’t keep back the tears. “I don’t know how it works, and that terrifies me. I’m used to my life making sense, having order, but you…you’re chaos. You’re reckless and spontaneous, and you make me feel so close to the edge—”
“I won’t be.” Dex swears, but I shake my head.
“No,” I protest, “don’t you get it? That’s one of the reasons why I love you. With you, I never know what’s going to happen. I’m myself, I’m alive.”
Dex holds me tight. “I love you,” he tells me gruffly, and I can hear the emotion in his voice. “It’s you, it’s always been you. Forever.”
My breath catches. He sees the surprise on my face, because he quickly adds, “I’m not asking now, you’re right, it was all moving too fast. But I’m going to marry you one day, Alicia—”
“Yes.” I cut him off with a kiss. “Yes! Now. Whenever. I don’t care, just as long as it’s us, always.”
Watching him, I feel a certainty wash over me like I’ve never known before.
This man.
This reckless, brave, miracle of a man.
He’s everything, and I can’t believe it took me so long to realize.
Soon, too soon, the song is over and they’re gone, hustled away backstage while the awards show continues. I fight my way to the edge of the crowd, and come face-to-face with a hulking great security guard. “I need to get backstage,” I yell.
“Sure you do, sweetheart. You and all the rest.” He chuckles, standing firm against the sea of other girls all clamoring around me.
Crap. I didn’t think this far ahead. I managed to find a scalper selling tickets on the Strip, and spent an outrageous amount to get inside. It was worth every penny, but now that I’m here, there’s an army of security between me and Dex.
Then I see a familiar face, just beyond the barricade. “Tegan!” I yell. “Tegan, over here!”
She turns, her eyes widening when she recognizes me. “It’s OK,” she tells the guy, coming forward. “She’s with me.”
There’s a chorus of complaint from the other girls as she grabs my hand and drags me through, slipping a gold wristband over my hand. She leads me backstage. “What are you doing here?”
But there’s no time to explain. “Where’s Dex?” I ask breathlessly.
“Around here somewhere…” Tegan glances around, but it’s madness back here: hundreds of people all heading in a dozen different directions. “I think he was heading to the dressing room. It’s down that way,” she nods to a hallway. “Wait.”
Tegan yanks me back. “If you break my brother’s heart again, I will rip you apart with my bare hands,” she tells me calmly.
“I won’t,” I promise.
She breaks into a smile. “I know. Good luck!”
Tegan whirls away, so I head in the direction she told me, fighting my way through security and sound guys, and hordes of celebrities in fancy formal wear. Finally, I reach the dressing room marked for the band.
I pause outside the door. Should I knock? But before I can decide, the door flies open, and I’m staring Dex straight in the face.
Oh God.
My heart stops. I can’t help it, he looks too good, sweating from the performance, his tattoos snaking from under his black T-shirt. Those dark eyes fix on mine, but before I can say a word, he yanks me inside the room, slams the door, and captures my mouth in a blazing kiss.
Yes.
I fall into him, reveling in the familiar bliss of his lips on mine; the hot plunge of his tongue probing in my mouth, demanding and deep. I hold tight, clinging to his taut body, kissing him hard enough to blot out the miserable days I’ve spent without him, all the sleepless nights and tears I’ve cried. I kiss him to convey just how much I need him, how I’m never letting go again, how he’s all I want in the world.
Forever.
We come up for air, breathing hard. Dex holds me tight, staring down at me like he’s worried I might vanish into thin air. “I couldn’t believe it was you,” he murmurs, reaching up to cradle my cheek with his hand. “When I saw you…I thought I was imagining things.”
“It’s me,” I whisper, overwhelmed. God, how could I have ever let him walk away? I’ve never felt so right as holding him in my arms right now. “I’m real.”
“God, I’m so sorry.” Dex tilts his head to rest against mine. “Everything I said to you, the way I just left…Please, forgive me. I’ve hated myself every minute of every day.”
“I’m sorry too,” I tell him, tears stinging in the back of my throat. “Back at the wedding, I panicked. I didn’t know what to tell you—”
“No,” Dex insists, cutting me off. “You were right. I was acting crazy, asking so much of you. It was too soon.”
“But you were right,” I whisper. “When you feel something like that, you just know.”
Dex inhales a ragged breath. “And do you?” he whispers, his eyes searching mine. I can see the need there, the hope, and I’m blown away that I’m the one he’s gazing at.
I’m the one he needs.
“I love you.” I say it simply, the only way I know how. “I was scared, I’ve never done this before, been with anyone like this. This is real.” I swallow, but I can’t keep back the tears. “I don’t know how it works, and that terrifies me. I’m used to my life making sense, having order, but you…you’re chaos. You’re reckless and spontaneous, and you make me feel so close to the edge—”
“I won’t be.” Dex swears, but I shake my head.
“No,” I protest, “don’t you get it? That’s one of the reasons why I love you. With you, I never know what’s going to happen. I’m myself, I’m alive.”
Dex holds me tight. “I love you,” he tells me gruffly, and I can hear the emotion in his voice. “It’s you, it’s always been you. Forever.”
My breath catches. He sees the surprise on my face, because he quickly adds, “I’m not asking now, you’re right, it was all moving too fast. But I’m going to marry you one day, Alicia—”
“Yes.” I cut him off with a kiss. “Yes! Now. Whenever. I don’t care, just as long as it’s us, always.”
