Until Cobi
Page 17
“It’s not a big deal.” He shrugs as he takes off his badge, dropping it to my bedside table then doing the same with his cell phone.
I glance at both items then look up as he’s unclasping his belt and sliding it from his jeans. “Are you staying in here?”
“Yep.” Well, okay. Now what the hell do I do? I should play the non-hussy and tell him to sleep on the couch, but offer him a pillow and blanket, since he’s been so nice. I should probably do that, but I don’t. I don’t, because the reality is I want him close. I feel better when he’s around, safer even from my own mind when he’s near me.
“Okay.” I scoot over to the middle of the bed, and he smiles a soft smile before rolling over to turn out the light.
When he comes back, he lies down then tugs me into his side, leaving me no choice but to curl into him. Then he picks up his phone and I watch him set an alarm.
“That’s just four hours from now,” I inform him as he clicks off his phone and drops it back to the side table.
“Yeah, but I gotta get to work in the morning. Before that, I need to head to my place to shower and change.”
“I’m really messing with your life.”
“Yeah you are,” he agrees, and guilt hits me hard and fast. I know he has his parents; I know he has a cousin, aunt, and uncle. I also know he has a place of his own. Still, he’s spent the last three nights with me, taking care of me and bringing me dinner. “Don’t twist that, Hadley.” His arm tightens around my shoulders. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. There is nowhere else I want to be.”
My chest feels funny, as I wheeze out, “You kind of freak me out.”
“I know.” He lets out a breath. “You’ll get used to it.”
“Will I?”
“Yeah, eventually.” I hear a smile in his voice, and I want to look at him to see his expression, but I don’t. “Sleep.”
“You know, you’re also kind of bossy.”
“Figure you’ll get used to that too.”
I don’t snort or roll my eyes, even though I want to. I definitely don’t tell him that I won’t get used to it because this won’t work between us. As good as this feels, I need to fight it. I need to remember where I come from, who I come from. I know that if Cobi ever finds out about my family, his opinion of me will change, and he will look at me like every other man I’ve told about my past has—with contempt and horror.
“You’re safe, Hadley.” He reads the tightening in my body, thinking I’m scared, and my eyes squeeze closed. Seriously, he’s sweet.
When his lips brush the top of my head, I burrow closer to him without a word, telling myself that tomorrow I’ll pull away and put up my walls against him. But tonight, I’m going to sleep in his arms and pretend this could work out, like if he found out about my past he wouldn’t care.
Chapter 7
Hadley
WHEN MY CELL PHONE buzzes in my purse, I continue to work and ignore it like I’ve done all day today, feeling nauseous when the buzzing stops then starts up again. Yesterday morning, Cobi left early, giving me a sweet kiss to my forehead then lips before telling me that he would see me later. After he was gone, I laid in bed for a long time in a sleepy, happy daze, still feeling the lingering of his soft kiss to my lips.
It wasn’t until I got up, had a cup of coffee, and in my happy haze answered my phone that reality came crashing down around me. Normally, I never answer when I see one of my parents is calling, but I answered without thinking and immediately wished I hadn’t. At just ten in the morning, my dad was drunk and probably high. He slurred as he asked me if I had really been shot at by—in his words—some fucked up doctor.
After my answer of yes and explaining to him what happened, he asked if he could borrow some money to help pay his and Mom’s electric bill that is overdue. His non-reaction wasn’t a surprise; still, it hurt that he didn’t really care if I was okay or that I could’ve died.
I’m sure the only reason he called was to ask for money. Finding out if the rumors were true was just a bonus. After I told him no, that I didn’t have money to help him with the electric bill, he hung up on me, but not before I listened to him mutter about how ungrateful I’ve always been. It wasn’t a surprise that my mom didn’t call demanding answers, since where mothers are concerned she’s the worst of the worst. She should never have had kids, and thankfully after me she never had another. My dad, on the other hand, has three more kids, each with a different woman.
I didn’t technically lie when I told Cobi it’s just me and that I don’t have siblings. I have never met my three younger brothers, and probably never will. Each of the women who had kids with my dad smartly left after realizing what a lowlife he is and that in the end he’s stuck with my mom or they are stuck with each other.
My parents are still married, probably because divorce is expensive, but they are no longer in a relationship and haven’t been for years. They do share the trailer I grew up in, and both live there when they are not leeching off someone they’re hooking up with. My dad sells drugs from time to time, when someone is stupid enough to trust him with their product and money, and my mom works at a local bar and has since I can remember. How she’s kept a job for so long when she’s almost always wasted is anyone’s guess, but she’s done it.
My desk phone ringing pulls me from my thoughts, and I reach out, grab it, and put it to my ear. “Hadley speaking.”
“Ugh, I just thought I’d warn you,” Brie starts, sounding worried, and I sit up in my chair as she continues. “I was leaving the parking lot and saw what looks like a very pissed off Cobi Mayson heading into the office.”
“What?” I look around for someplace to hide, and then my eyes widen when I spot Cobi talking to one of my co-workers whose desk is near the front door and see him flash his badge.
“I think you left a whole lot of stuff out last night,” Brie says in my ear, and I pull in a shaky breath.
“I’ll explain later. Right now, I need to find a place to hide.”
“Good luck with that. With how pissed off that man looks, the moon wouldn’t be far enough away for you to escape him.” She hangs up and I drop the phone into the cradle as Cobi turns to look at me.
When his dark, angry eyes meet mine, I know not only is he pissed—I’m screwed.
Last night, I put my plan to keep Cobi away into action. I didn’t stay at home; instead, I took Brie up on her offer and slept at Kenyon’s and her place. Luckily, I didn’t have to sleep on the couch, since she bought an air mattress just for me in case I came over. When she asked about Cobi, I said he was working then avoided all conversation having to do with him, changing the subject each and every time. If I ever told her my plan to keep him at arm’s length and gave her my reasons for doing it, she would be mad. Actually, she would be livid. Even as long as she’s been in my life, she’s never really understood why I’m so ashamed. She thinks I should be proud of who I am, how far I’ve come, and look at the bright side of things.
She doesn’t know how humiliating it is to have to explain my past. She doesn’t know how embarrassing it is to have one or both my parents show up unannounced and make a scene. Something they have done more than once when I haven’t given them what they wanted. No guy wants to deal with that. No guy wants a woman who has the kind of baggage I have. And a cop would for sure not be happy about having a girlfriend with druggie, alcoholic parents that have been arrested so many times most officers and judges know them by name.
Not seeing a place to escape, I stand and watch Cobi stalk toward my office, his long stride eating up the distance between us quickly. Crap, things would be a whole lot easier if he wasn’t so damn attractive. Even angry, he’s hot, maybe even hotter, with his jaw hard and his muscles seeming more pronounced. When he steps through my open door, I start to open my mouth, having no idea what I will say to him, but I shut it as he slams the door closed, causing the pictures on the walls to shake.
“What the fuck?” His voice booms through my small office, and I look over his shoulder, noticing my co-workers stopping to take in the scene.
I glance at both items then look up as he’s unclasping his belt and sliding it from his jeans. “Are you staying in here?”
“Yep.” Well, okay. Now what the hell do I do? I should play the non-hussy and tell him to sleep on the couch, but offer him a pillow and blanket, since he’s been so nice. I should probably do that, but I don’t. I don’t, because the reality is I want him close. I feel better when he’s around, safer even from my own mind when he’s near me.
“Okay.” I scoot over to the middle of the bed, and he smiles a soft smile before rolling over to turn out the light.
When he comes back, he lies down then tugs me into his side, leaving me no choice but to curl into him. Then he picks up his phone and I watch him set an alarm.
“That’s just four hours from now,” I inform him as he clicks off his phone and drops it back to the side table.
“Yeah, but I gotta get to work in the morning. Before that, I need to head to my place to shower and change.”
“I’m really messing with your life.”
“Yeah you are,” he agrees, and guilt hits me hard and fast. I know he has his parents; I know he has a cousin, aunt, and uncle. I also know he has a place of his own. Still, he’s spent the last three nights with me, taking care of me and bringing me dinner. “Don’t twist that, Hadley.” His arm tightens around my shoulders. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. There is nowhere else I want to be.”
My chest feels funny, as I wheeze out, “You kind of freak me out.”
“I know.” He lets out a breath. “You’ll get used to it.”
“Will I?”
“Yeah, eventually.” I hear a smile in his voice, and I want to look at him to see his expression, but I don’t. “Sleep.”
“You know, you’re also kind of bossy.”
“Figure you’ll get used to that too.”
I don’t snort or roll my eyes, even though I want to. I definitely don’t tell him that I won’t get used to it because this won’t work between us. As good as this feels, I need to fight it. I need to remember where I come from, who I come from. I know that if Cobi ever finds out about my family, his opinion of me will change, and he will look at me like every other man I’ve told about my past has—with contempt and horror.
“You’re safe, Hadley.” He reads the tightening in my body, thinking I’m scared, and my eyes squeeze closed. Seriously, he’s sweet.
When his lips brush the top of my head, I burrow closer to him without a word, telling myself that tomorrow I’ll pull away and put up my walls against him. But tonight, I’m going to sleep in his arms and pretend this could work out, like if he found out about my past he wouldn’t care.
Chapter 7
Hadley
WHEN MY CELL PHONE buzzes in my purse, I continue to work and ignore it like I’ve done all day today, feeling nauseous when the buzzing stops then starts up again. Yesterday morning, Cobi left early, giving me a sweet kiss to my forehead then lips before telling me that he would see me later. After he was gone, I laid in bed for a long time in a sleepy, happy daze, still feeling the lingering of his soft kiss to my lips.
It wasn’t until I got up, had a cup of coffee, and in my happy haze answered my phone that reality came crashing down around me. Normally, I never answer when I see one of my parents is calling, but I answered without thinking and immediately wished I hadn’t. At just ten in the morning, my dad was drunk and probably high. He slurred as he asked me if I had really been shot at by—in his words—some fucked up doctor.
After my answer of yes and explaining to him what happened, he asked if he could borrow some money to help pay his and Mom’s electric bill that is overdue. His non-reaction wasn’t a surprise; still, it hurt that he didn’t really care if I was okay or that I could’ve died.
I’m sure the only reason he called was to ask for money. Finding out if the rumors were true was just a bonus. After I told him no, that I didn’t have money to help him with the electric bill, he hung up on me, but not before I listened to him mutter about how ungrateful I’ve always been. It wasn’t a surprise that my mom didn’t call demanding answers, since where mothers are concerned she’s the worst of the worst. She should never have had kids, and thankfully after me she never had another. My dad, on the other hand, has three more kids, each with a different woman.
I didn’t technically lie when I told Cobi it’s just me and that I don’t have siblings. I have never met my three younger brothers, and probably never will. Each of the women who had kids with my dad smartly left after realizing what a lowlife he is and that in the end he’s stuck with my mom or they are stuck with each other.
My parents are still married, probably because divorce is expensive, but they are no longer in a relationship and haven’t been for years. They do share the trailer I grew up in, and both live there when they are not leeching off someone they’re hooking up with. My dad sells drugs from time to time, when someone is stupid enough to trust him with their product and money, and my mom works at a local bar and has since I can remember. How she’s kept a job for so long when she’s almost always wasted is anyone’s guess, but she’s done it.
My desk phone ringing pulls me from my thoughts, and I reach out, grab it, and put it to my ear. “Hadley speaking.”
“Ugh, I just thought I’d warn you,” Brie starts, sounding worried, and I sit up in my chair as she continues. “I was leaving the parking lot and saw what looks like a very pissed off Cobi Mayson heading into the office.”
“What?” I look around for someplace to hide, and then my eyes widen when I spot Cobi talking to one of my co-workers whose desk is near the front door and see him flash his badge.
“I think you left a whole lot of stuff out last night,” Brie says in my ear, and I pull in a shaky breath.
“I’ll explain later. Right now, I need to find a place to hide.”
“Good luck with that. With how pissed off that man looks, the moon wouldn’t be far enough away for you to escape him.” She hangs up and I drop the phone into the cradle as Cobi turns to look at me.
When his dark, angry eyes meet mine, I know not only is he pissed—I’m screwed.
Last night, I put my plan to keep Cobi away into action. I didn’t stay at home; instead, I took Brie up on her offer and slept at Kenyon’s and her place. Luckily, I didn’t have to sleep on the couch, since she bought an air mattress just for me in case I came over. When she asked about Cobi, I said he was working then avoided all conversation having to do with him, changing the subject each and every time. If I ever told her my plan to keep him at arm’s length and gave her my reasons for doing it, she would be mad. Actually, she would be livid. Even as long as she’s been in my life, she’s never really understood why I’m so ashamed. She thinks I should be proud of who I am, how far I’ve come, and look at the bright side of things.
She doesn’t know how humiliating it is to have to explain my past. She doesn’t know how embarrassing it is to have one or both my parents show up unannounced and make a scene. Something they have done more than once when I haven’t given them what they wanted. No guy wants to deal with that. No guy wants a woman who has the kind of baggage I have. And a cop would for sure not be happy about having a girlfriend with druggie, alcoholic parents that have been arrested so many times most officers and judges know them by name.
Not seeing a place to escape, I stand and watch Cobi stalk toward my office, his long stride eating up the distance between us quickly. Crap, things would be a whole lot easier if he wasn’t so damn attractive. Even angry, he’s hot, maybe even hotter, with his jaw hard and his muscles seeming more pronounced. When he steps through my open door, I start to open my mouth, having no idea what I will say to him, but I shut it as he slams the door closed, causing the pictures on the walls to shake.
“What the fuck?” His voice booms through my small office, and I look over his shoulder, noticing my co-workers stopping to take in the scene.
