Until Friday Night
Page 60
My chest tightened, and I clenched my fists. “Explain,” I said, not giving a shit if anyone heard me. I was ready to bolt and go find Maggie. The fact that I was supposed to be giving her room was the only thing keeping me in my seat.
“Raleigh cornered her at her locker.”
I didn’t need to hear any more. I stood up and started walking for the door.
“Where do you think you’re going, Mr. Ashby?” the teacher asked.
“I’m sick,” I replied before opening the door and stalking out. I should have found out more from Nash. Like if Raleigh had touched her. But my instinct to go find Maggie and check on her was stronger.
I started toward Maggie’s class when the door reopened behind me.
“West, wait,” Nash called out.
“Going to find Maggie,” I replied, not stopping.
“She’s fine. I took care of it,” was his response.
“Did Raleigh touch her?” I asked, my voice rising with the thought of anyone hurting Maggie.
Nash didn’t respond, and I knew I had my answer.
“She was taking up for you in her crazy-ass way. The females in this school have come to the conclusion Maggie is the enemy, since she broke up with you. Surely, you’ve heard the talk today. It was bound to happen. Someone was going to confront her.”
That made me stop. “What?” I asked him incredulously.
“What do you mean ‘what?’?” He looked confused. “What are they saying?”
“The girls?”
I nodded.
“Shit about Maggie. She’s not responding to it; she’s keeping her head down. I walked her to class and texted Brady to get her after and walk her to lunch. The buzz will die down soon enough.”
“Wait.” I stopped him as my stomach twisted and anger pulsed through my veins. “Are you saying that people have been talking shit to Maggie all day about this? Because of me?” Nash nodded.
“Motherfucker!” I roared, and broke into a run toward Maggie’s class.
“I thought you’d have heard them!” Nash called out.
If I had heard them, I would have shut them down. What did he think I was doing? Letting them talk about Maggie? Seriously? Did my own friends not even realize I was in love with her?
I stopped at the door to the classroom she was in and took a deep breath. My emotions were all over the place. I hadn’t meant to cause her any pain, yet that was all I seemed to be able to do. She had run from me because I’d acted like an ass. I was clinging to her and not even taking into consideration the fact she had her own demons to face. She needed me, and all I had done was take from her.
I was ready to be her shoulder to cry on. I wanted her to lean on me for a change. I wanted more.
Jerking the door open, I searched the room until I found her in the back, looking like she was ready to crawl under her desk.
“Can I help you, West?” Mr. Banks asked.
“I need to see Maggie, please, sir,” I replied, tearing my eyes from her to look at him.
“Uh, well, um . . . okay. But please be quick,” he replied.
I turned my gaze back to her. If I could plead with a look, I was doing it. Slowly, she stood up and made her way toward me. Her eyes were on the floor, and her hands were fisted together in front of her. She was nervous. I never wanted to make her nervous.
When she reached me, I stepped back and let her walk out into the hallway before closing the door and giving us the privacy we needed.
“Are you okay?” I asked, fighting the urge to reach out and pull her against me.
“I’m fine,” she replied in a whisper.
“I’ll handle Raleigh. She won’t bother you again. I swear it,” I said fiercely.
She shrugged. “She cares about you. She was defending you.”
No. Raleigh cared about herself. This hadn’t been about me. She’d seen an opening to attack Maggie, and she’d taken it. “If she cared about me, she wouldn’t have touched you. People who care about me would protect you. Like Nash.” Maggie lifted her gaze to meet mine. Her eyes reflected so many of the same emotions I was trying to deal with. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“I know. But I was hurting you. I wasn’t being what you needed.”
She broke our eye contact as she glanced down the hallway. “You just lost your dad, West. I should have been more sensitive.”
Screw not touching her. I reached out and covered her hand with mine. “You were right. I was using you as a way to cope. I wasn’t giving you anything in return. I was obsessed with having you beside me. Knowing you were mine. That wasn’t helping you. That was my trying to own you.”
She didn’t respond. But she didn’t move her hand away either.
“We started this because you could listen and understand what I was dealing with when no one else could. Yes, you became my crutch. I wanted to be near you to draw from this amazing strength of yours.”
She sniffled but didn’t look back at me.
“Things changed, though. Yes, you became someone I could lean on, but you also became more than that. I looked forward to hearing your voice, seeing your smile, and, God, listening to you laugh. I love the way you laugh. All of those things became things I loved. I would have never . . .” I stopped. What I needed to say I wanted to make sure I said right. I didn’t want to screw it up. This was important. This was my chance to fix all I’d messed up.
“That night we . . . when we slept together. Maggie, I—” I needed her to look at me. Reaching over, I slid a finger under her chin and turned her face until her eyes met mine. “Maggie, I knew I loved you then. I didn’t tell you because my emotions were so raw that night. I didn’t make love to you because I needed comfort. I made love to you because I wanted to be as close to you as possible. Because, although I had lost my dad, I had been given you. Someone who made me feel whole inside. Who gave me a reason to smile every day. And I let myself go a little insane with my need to hold on to you. I don’t want to possess you, Maggie. I want to belong to you. I’m willing to give you all the time you need. But you have to know I am in love with you.” I dropped my finger from underneath her chin and moved my hand away from hers.
“Raleigh cornered her at her locker.”
I didn’t need to hear any more. I stood up and started walking for the door.
“Where do you think you’re going, Mr. Ashby?” the teacher asked.
“I’m sick,” I replied before opening the door and stalking out. I should have found out more from Nash. Like if Raleigh had touched her. But my instinct to go find Maggie and check on her was stronger.
I started toward Maggie’s class when the door reopened behind me.
“West, wait,” Nash called out.
“Going to find Maggie,” I replied, not stopping.
“She’s fine. I took care of it,” was his response.
“Did Raleigh touch her?” I asked, my voice rising with the thought of anyone hurting Maggie.
Nash didn’t respond, and I knew I had my answer.
“She was taking up for you in her crazy-ass way. The females in this school have come to the conclusion Maggie is the enemy, since she broke up with you. Surely, you’ve heard the talk today. It was bound to happen. Someone was going to confront her.”
That made me stop. “What?” I asked him incredulously.
“What do you mean ‘what?’?” He looked confused. “What are they saying?”
“The girls?”
I nodded.
“Shit about Maggie. She’s not responding to it; she’s keeping her head down. I walked her to class and texted Brady to get her after and walk her to lunch. The buzz will die down soon enough.”
“Wait.” I stopped him as my stomach twisted and anger pulsed through my veins. “Are you saying that people have been talking shit to Maggie all day about this? Because of me?” Nash nodded.
“Motherfucker!” I roared, and broke into a run toward Maggie’s class.
“I thought you’d have heard them!” Nash called out.
If I had heard them, I would have shut them down. What did he think I was doing? Letting them talk about Maggie? Seriously? Did my own friends not even realize I was in love with her?
I stopped at the door to the classroom she was in and took a deep breath. My emotions were all over the place. I hadn’t meant to cause her any pain, yet that was all I seemed to be able to do. She had run from me because I’d acted like an ass. I was clinging to her and not even taking into consideration the fact she had her own demons to face. She needed me, and all I had done was take from her.
I was ready to be her shoulder to cry on. I wanted her to lean on me for a change. I wanted more.
Jerking the door open, I searched the room until I found her in the back, looking like she was ready to crawl under her desk.
“Can I help you, West?” Mr. Banks asked.
“I need to see Maggie, please, sir,” I replied, tearing my eyes from her to look at him.
“Uh, well, um . . . okay. But please be quick,” he replied.
I turned my gaze back to her. If I could plead with a look, I was doing it. Slowly, she stood up and made her way toward me. Her eyes were on the floor, and her hands were fisted together in front of her. She was nervous. I never wanted to make her nervous.
When she reached me, I stepped back and let her walk out into the hallway before closing the door and giving us the privacy we needed.
“Are you okay?” I asked, fighting the urge to reach out and pull her against me.
“I’m fine,” she replied in a whisper.
“I’ll handle Raleigh. She won’t bother you again. I swear it,” I said fiercely.
She shrugged. “She cares about you. She was defending you.”
No. Raleigh cared about herself. This hadn’t been about me. She’d seen an opening to attack Maggie, and she’d taken it. “If she cared about me, she wouldn’t have touched you. People who care about me would protect you. Like Nash.” Maggie lifted her gaze to meet mine. Her eyes reflected so many of the same emotions I was trying to deal with. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“I know. But I was hurting you. I wasn’t being what you needed.”
She broke our eye contact as she glanced down the hallway. “You just lost your dad, West. I should have been more sensitive.”
Screw not touching her. I reached out and covered her hand with mine. “You were right. I was using you as a way to cope. I wasn’t giving you anything in return. I was obsessed with having you beside me. Knowing you were mine. That wasn’t helping you. That was my trying to own you.”
She didn’t respond. But she didn’t move her hand away either.
“We started this because you could listen and understand what I was dealing with when no one else could. Yes, you became my crutch. I wanted to be near you to draw from this amazing strength of yours.”
She sniffled but didn’t look back at me.
“Things changed, though. Yes, you became someone I could lean on, but you also became more than that. I looked forward to hearing your voice, seeing your smile, and, God, listening to you laugh. I love the way you laugh. All of those things became things I loved. I would have never . . .” I stopped. What I needed to say I wanted to make sure I said right. I didn’t want to screw it up. This was important. This was my chance to fix all I’d messed up.
“That night we . . . when we slept together. Maggie, I—” I needed her to look at me. Reaching over, I slid a finger under her chin and turned her face until her eyes met mine. “Maggie, I knew I loved you then. I didn’t tell you because my emotions were so raw that night. I didn’t make love to you because I needed comfort. I made love to you because I wanted to be as close to you as possible. Because, although I had lost my dad, I had been given you. Someone who made me feel whole inside. Who gave me a reason to smile every day. And I let myself go a little insane with my need to hold on to you. I don’t want to possess you, Maggie. I want to belong to you. I’m willing to give you all the time you need. But you have to know I am in love with you.” I dropped my finger from underneath her chin and moved my hand away from hers.
