Until I Break
Page 9
He did. But, until now, it seemed he’d forgotten about me.
“Yes, but—”
“No buts.”
It’s hard to argue effectively when I actually want to be stuck with Alec, even though I know it’s not a good idea. He’s bad for me. I don’t think there’s a question of that now. The problem is that, for the most part, I don’t seem to care.
“I’ll call in a while to check on you, Sam.” Chris is all but bouncing up and down with excitement. I doubt Alec can see it; at least I hope not. But I can.
Before I can even respond, Alec bends and sweeps me into his arms. Reflexively, I reach around his neck to hold on. I try to ignore how good it feels to have his warm skin touching so much of my body at once—my arms, my side, my hip, my leg. He looks down into my face, his eyes serious and trained on mine. “No need. I’ll take good care of her.”
Again, his expression implies that there’s much more to his comment. He’s speaking of an undercurrent, an undercurrent between us that I can feel as plainly as I could feel the sand sucking at my foot. And, as with the sand, Alec is pulling me down, pulling me under. Under his spell.
I think Chris mutters something, but I can’t tell what it is. Her voice is a thousand miles away.
Alec doesn’t break his stare until we reach his horse. I let my arms fall from around him, preparing for when he sets me on my feet. Only he doesn’t. Instead, he pulls me tight against his chest, puts his foot in the stirrup and swings easily onto the horse’s back.
I used to do some riding when I was younger, before…everything. My mother got me lessons and would take me once a week to ride, so I’m familiar with the close contact saddle that’s on this horse, as well as the type of horse it is—a beautiful paint horse. The rich brown color and large white patches on the sides are dead giveaways.
Because of the low pommel and light padding of the saddle, when Alec scoots back a little, there is just enough room in the saddle for me, too. I can straddle the horse comfortably. Well, comfortably but for the way Alec’s body is pressed up against my back and butt. I feel every firm, warm inch of him all the way to my core.
I’m feeling short of breath again and looking for some distraction. “What’s his name?” I ask, referring to the horse.
“Galen,” he answers. I feel his legs move against me as he nudges the horse into a slow walk.
“That’s beautiful. What does it mean?”
“It means healer,” he explains, urging Galen into a trot.
Without the benefit of a saddle horn to hang on to, I’m forced to reach back and grab Alec’s thighs for support as I grip the horse with my legs. It’s all I can do not to melt into the leather beneath me when Alec bends his head to whisper into my ear, “Hang on. Here we go.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN - Alec
I nudge Galen into a gallop on the hard-packed strip of sand on the empty beach. I knew it would be a great day to ride. This isn’t exactly a commercial stretch of oceanfront anyway, what with the lower end belonging to private homes. Now, with Samantha in my lap, it’s even more…stimulating.
I feel her fingers dig into my legs, so I take the reins in one hand and splay the fingers of my other over her flat stomach, pulling her snug against me. It’s an innocent enough gesture, one meant to hold her in place. A safety measure, even. But in reality, it’s far from innocent. With the curve of her ass rubbing my c**k in perfect rhythm with the horse, all I can think about is turning her around, pushing aside the swimsuit bottoms I imagine she’s wearing under her short skirt and sliding her down on top of me. The horse would do most of the work. All she’d have to do is hold on until her body went limp with exhaustion.
Despite the tell-tale twitch of my dick, the voice that was so strong this morning reminds me that I’m not supposed to be pursuing this. I’m supposed to be avoiding this woman. For her sake as much as mine.
But that voice is growing softer by the minute. Before long, I’ll be able to block it out completely, just like I did for all those years before I got it under control.
Once again, my id is becoming bolder.
Just one more time. Just this once.
The lure of it is so tantalizing, the vision of Samantha in my complete control so irresistible, I know the battle is lost. In fact, I think I knew it was lost the moment I saw her on the beach.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN - Samantha
Just when I’m catching my breath and becoming accustomed to the sensory overload of being in Alec’s arms with my body pressed to his, he slows Galen and guides him away from the surf. The horse plods through the fluffy sand to what looks like a cleft in a dune. Only it’s not a cleft; it’s a path separating two different separate ones. Between them is a wooden walkway.
The walk looks a mile long as it travels from the sand, across the marsh and onto sturdier land. In the distance, I can see a gorgeous, modern plantation-style home in pale yellow.
From French doors to sunburst windows, the entire back of the house is covered in windows of varying sizes and shapes. It looks like every door opens onto one of three decks off the back of the house, a deck for each level. As extravagant as I’m sure the inside is, I doubt it will compare to the incredible views from the outdoor living space.
My first thought is that it can’t be our destination. There’s no way Alec can have this kind of money. But then I think of the Range Rover and the subtle things I learned at the fundraiser, and I quickly amend that thought.
When we reach the end of the walkway, Alec guides the horse onto a cobblestone path that leads through the lush green yard and stops at the foot of steps that ascend to the first-level deck. When he dismounts and drops Galen’s reins over the newel post, I realize we are, in fact, at our destination.
Alec offers no explanation at all, but simply turns back and reaches for me.
“Slide off. I’ve got you.”
I throw my leg over the horse’s neck and lean forward, putting my hands on his shoulders. I try to ignore the feel of his hands on my h*ps as he lowers me to the ground. “What about the horse? Can you just leave him out in the sun like this?”
“He’ll be fine for a few minutes. Javi will come and take him back to the stable.”
“You have a stable? How many horses do you have?”
“We have a small stable, yes. Only two horses. We don’t have enough room to board and exercise more than four. But I’m the only one who rides, so it doesn’t really matter.”
Without thinking, I put weight on my left side, yelping when pain shoots up into my knee.
Alec says nothing, merely bends to pick me up. I try not to let his blank expression and tight jaw unnerve me. I remind myself that I didn’t ask for his help, that he practically forced me into this, and that if he’s no longer attracted to me, it’s for the best.
Only it doesn’t feel like it’s for the best. On some level, I want him to be as moved and tortured as I am by the most innocent of contact.
Effortlessly, he climbs the steps then carries me to one of four chaise lounges, all lined up facing the railing, the perfect setup to enjoy the ocean view.
“Is this your house?” I finally ask when he pulls another chaise closer to the one I’m on and sits on the end.
Gingerly, he picks up my foot and examines my ankle. “Do you always ask so many questions?” he murmurs.
His remark stings. Not only do I not feel like I’ve asked many questions since I’ve known him, but now I can’t help but wonder why he’s so averse to answering even the most casual of inquiries.
Before I can formulate a suitable response, he replies, “It’s a family home.” I flinch when his probing fingers hit a sore spot. He glances up at me, his eyes unfathomable. “Sorry. Tender gestures aren’t really my…forte.”
“What is your forte?” I ask quietly.
“I’d say something closer to aggression.”
My stomach squeezes around a knot of excitement. Or is it fear? At the moment, it’s hard to tell the difference.
Alec stands, cutting off any response I might’ve made. “I’ll get some ice for your ankle.” He disappears inside, leaving me to ponder him and the shroud of mystery that surrounds him. A few minutes later, he returns with an ice pack, a washcloth, a wide, stretchy black band, and a glass of water. “Can you take ibuprofen?”
I nod and he hands me the glass and two small pills folded against his palm. While I’m gulping down water, he’s busy wrapping the washcloth and ice pack around my foot then securing them with the elastic band.
“Well, that ought to keep the swelling from getting much worse,” he declares as he stands. “I’ll get the—” A muted ringing cuts short whatever he was going to say. Alec pulls his cell phone out of his pocket, glances at the display and frowns. “Will you be all right here for a few minutes? I really need to take this.”
“I’ll be fine. Take your time.”
With a nod, Alec walks back into the house, not answering until he’s out of earshot. I scoot back on the lounge and lean my head back, enjoying the breathtaking view. I don’t know how long Alec is on the phone, but by the time he returns, I’m thoroughly relaxed and the pain in my ankle has lessened dramatically.
“Sorry about that. How’s the ankle?”
“Much better,” I say, shielding my eyes to look up at him.
“I hate that you got hurt. I could’ve directed you toward a nest of sea turtles just past my walk, along the dunes. Isn’t that what you said you were looking for?”
I nod. “Yeah, but we can come back another time.”
“If you feel like sitting Galen a bit more, I could run you down to see them before I take you home.”
I know I shouldn’t feel the little thrill of anticipation that blossoms in my stomach. I know I shouldn’t be so reluctant for my time with him to end. Or, at the very least, I should try to resist. But I don’t. I’m not sure I’ll ever see him again after today. With that in mind, it isn’t hard to convince myself that this one short trip won’t hurt anything. “I’d like that.”
“Just let me tell Javi,” he says, walking back into the house.
Less than five minutes later, Alec comes striding back through the door. He walks to my chair, but I stop him before he can bend and pick me up. “I can walk.” I probably can’t walk, actually. At least not comfortably. But I don’t want to put him out, which is exactly what it seems to do when he has to carry me.
He straightens and looks down at me, his right brow shooting up in that way I love. Something in the air between us thickens. It crackles with electricity. In the space of one short breath, without saying a word, everything changes.
“Is there another…position you’d rather me carry you in?” Alec’s tone is openly suggestive. I can see the difference in his eyes, in the hunger on his face. In the growl of his voice. We’re no longer pretending we don’t feel this, that we don’t both know where it’s going.
And once again, just like that, right here, on the deck, in the sunshine, we become two people I know better than anyone. We are Daire and Mason.
“Well, well, well. What have we here?” Mason asks. I startle at his voice as his shadow falls over me. I forget that he can come into the sun.
For an instant, I’m stunned. Humiliated by what he must see—the breeze teasing my hair, the sun beating down on my na**d shoulders and the water bubbling around my bared breasts, bringing my ni**les to hard points.
I gasp, instinctively leaning up and crossing my arms over my chest in modesty. I thought he’d gone for the day or I would never have risked slipping into the tub without my suit. Yet here he is, clad in nothing but a towel, obviously intent on having his own dip in the Jacuzzi.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t…I thought…if I’d known you were still here…” I stammer, beginning to stand, to go indoors where I can hide for the rest of my life, before I think better of it. I’m not exactly clothed for a dignified exit.
“Don’t apologize. I like this kind of surprise.” His eyes are warm and intense on me.
If he’d leave for just a minute, I’d get out of his way. “Please, if you’ll give me a moment—”
“No. I don’t think I will. I think I like you better this way.”
“But I—”
“No buts. And don’t pretend like this isn’t exactly where you want to be.”
How does he do that? See into my mind? Into my deepest thoughts and wildest imaginations?
“I don’t know what you mean,” I deny.
“Yes, you do. You know precisely what I mean. I know you watch me...”
My heart is hammering against my ribs as I think of all the times I have watched him—by himself, with women, in the shower, in the bed. And I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have all that attention focused on me. Just me.
Now, I do.
And I don’t think I can bring myself to stop before I find out what the rest feels like. What he feels like.
Back in reality, with my Mason, Alec doesn’t wait for me to answer. He simply bends and scoops me up into his arms. “Give me time,” he says softly. “I’ll show you just how many answers there are to that question.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN - Alec
With the deck steps nearby, Samantha was able to mount Galen with little assistance from me. She scooted back for me to sit in front of her this time. Not my first choice, of course but I can bide my time.
I did put my hand on her ass to steady her as she mounted. I knew it would get her flustered. I love that innocence about her. I love it so much I’m going to enjoy watching it melt away when she sees what pleasures the world has to offer. I get hard just thinking about it.
“Yes, but—”
“No buts.”
It’s hard to argue effectively when I actually want to be stuck with Alec, even though I know it’s not a good idea. He’s bad for me. I don’t think there’s a question of that now. The problem is that, for the most part, I don’t seem to care.
“I’ll call in a while to check on you, Sam.” Chris is all but bouncing up and down with excitement. I doubt Alec can see it; at least I hope not. But I can.
Before I can even respond, Alec bends and sweeps me into his arms. Reflexively, I reach around his neck to hold on. I try to ignore how good it feels to have his warm skin touching so much of my body at once—my arms, my side, my hip, my leg. He looks down into my face, his eyes serious and trained on mine. “No need. I’ll take good care of her.”
Again, his expression implies that there’s much more to his comment. He’s speaking of an undercurrent, an undercurrent between us that I can feel as plainly as I could feel the sand sucking at my foot. And, as with the sand, Alec is pulling me down, pulling me under. Under his spell.
I think Chris mutters something, but I can’t tell what it is. Her voice is a thousand miles away.
Alec doesn’t break his stare until we reach his horse. I let my arms fall from around him, preparing for when he sets me on my feet. Only he doesn’t. Instead, he pulls me tight against his chest, puts his foot in the stirrup and swings easily onto the horse’s back.
I used to do some riding when I was younger, before…everything. My mother got me lessons and would take me once a week to ride, so I’m familiar with the close contact saddle that’s on this horse, as well as the type of horse it is—a beautiful paint horse. The rich brown color and large white patches on the sides are dead giveaways.
Because of the low pommel and light padding of the saddle, when Alec scoots back a little, there is just enough room in the saddle for me, too. I can straddle the horse comfortably. Well, comfortably but for the way Alec’s body is pressed up against my back and butt. I feel every firm, warm inch of him all the way to my core.
I’m feeling short of breath again and looking for some distraction. “What’s his name?” I ask, referring to the horse.
“Galen,” he answers. I feel his legs move against me as he nudges the horse into a slow walk.
“That’s beautiful. What does it mean?”
“It means healer,” he explains, urging Galen into a trot.
Without the benefit of a saddle horn to hang on to, I’m forced to reach back and grab Alec’s thighs for support as I grip the horse with my legs. It’s all I can do not to melt into the leather beneath me when Alec bends his head to whisper into my ear, “Hang on. Here we go.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN - Alec
I nudge Galen into a gallop on the hard-packed strip of sand on the empty beach. I knew it would be a great day to ride. This isn’t exactly a commercial stretch of oceanfront anyway, what with the lower end belonging to private homes. Now, with Samantha in my lap, it’s even more…stimulating.
I feel her fingers dig into my legs, so I take the reins in one hand and splay the fingers of my other over her flat stomach, pulling her snug against me. It’s an innocent enough gesture, one meant to hold her in place. A safety measure, even. But in reality, it’s far from innocent. With the curve of her ass rubbing my c**k in perfect rhythm with the horse, all I can think about is turning her around, pushing aside the swimsuit bottoms I imagine she’s wearing under her short skirt and sliding her down on top of me. The horse would do most of the work. All she’d have to do is hold on until her body went limp with exhaustion.
Despite the tell-tale twitch of my dick, the voice that was so strong this morning reminds me that I’m not supposed to be pursuing this. I’m supposed to be avoiding this woman. For her sake as much as mine.
But that voice is growing softer by the minute. Before long, I’ll be able to block it out completely, just like I did for all those years before I got it under control.
Once again, my id is becoming bolder.
Just one more time. Just this once.
The lure of it is so tantalizing, the vision of Samantha in my complete control so irresistible, I know the battle is lost. In fact, I think I knew it was lost the moment I saw her on the beach.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN - Samantha
Just when I’m catching my breath and becoming accustomed to the sensory overload of being in Alec’s arms with my body pressed to his, he slows Galen and guides him away from the surf. The horse plods through the fluffy sand to what looks like a cleft in a dune. Only it’s not a cleft; it’s a path separating two different separate ones. Between them is a wooden walkway.
The walk looks a mile long as it travels from the sand, across the marsh and onto sturdier land. In the distance, I can see a gorgeous, modern plantation-style home in pale yellow.
From French doors to sunburst windows, the entire back of the house is covered in windows of varying sizes and shapes. It looks like every door opens onto one of three decks off the back of the house, a deck for each level. As extravagant as I’m sure the inside is, I doubt it will compare to the incredible views from the outdoor living space.
My first thought is that it can’t be our destination. There’s no way Alec can have this kind of money. But then I think of the Range Rover and the subtle things I learned at the fundraiser, and I quickly amend that thought.
When we reach the end of the walkway, Alec guides the horse onto a cobblestone path that leads through the lush green yard and stops at the foot of steps that ascend to the first-level deck. When he dismounts and drops Galen’s reins over the newel post, I realize we are, in fact, at our destination.
Alec offers no explanation at all, but simply turns back and reaches for me.
“Slide off. I’ve got you.”
I throw my leg over the horse’s neck and lean forward, putting my hands on his shoulders. I try to ignore the feel of his hands on my h*ps as he lowers me to the ground. “What about the horse? Can you just leave him out in the sun like this?”
“He’ll be fine for a few minutes. Javi will come and take him back to the stable.”
“You have a stable? How many horses do you have?”
“We have a small stable, yes. Only two horses. We don’t have enough room to board and exercise more than four. But I’m the only one who rides, so it doesn’t really matter.”
Without thinking, I put weight on my left side, yelping when pain shoots up into my knee.
Alec says nothing, merely bends to pick me up. I try not to let his blank expression and tight jaw unnerve me. I remind myself that I didn’t ask for his help, that he practically forced me into this, and that if he’s no longer attracted to me, it’s for the best.
Only it doesn’t feel like it’s for the best. On some level, I want him to be as moved and tortured as I am by the most innocent of contact.
Effortlessly, he climbs the steps then carries me to one of four chaise lounges, all lined up facing the railing, the perfect setup to enjoy the ocean view.
“Is this your house?” I finally ask when he pulls another chaise closer to the one I’m on and sits on the end.
Gingerly, he picks up my foot and examines my ankle. “Do you always ask so many questions?” he murmurs.
His remark stings. Not only do I not feel like I’ve asked many questions since I’ve known him, but now I can’t help but wonder why he’s so averse to answering even the most casual of inquiries.
Before I can formulate a suitable response, he replies, “It’s a family home.” I flinch when his probing fingers hit a sore spot. He glances up at me, his eyes unfathomable. “Sorry. Tender gestures aren’t really my…forte.”
“What is your forte?” I ask quietly.
“I’d say something closer to aggression.”
My stomach squeezes around a knot of excitement. Or is it fear? At the moment, it’s hard to tell the difference.
Alec stands, cutting off any response I might’ve made. “I’ll get some ice for your ankle.” He disappears inside, leaving me to ponder him and the shroud of mystery that surrounds him. A few minutes later, he returns with an ice pack, a washcloth, a wide, stretchy black band, and a glass of water. “Can you take ibuprofen?”
I nod and he hands me the glass and two small pills folded against his palm. While I’m gulping down water, he’s busy wrapping the washcloth and ice pack around my foot then securing them with the elastic band.
“Well, that ought to keep the swelling from getting much worse,” he declares as he stands. “I’ll get the—” A muted ringing cuts short whatever he was going to say. Alec pulls his cell phone out of his pocket, glances at the display and frowns. “Will you be all right here for a few minutes? I really need to take this.”
“I’ll be fine. Take your time.”
With a nod, Alec walks back into the house, not answering until he’s out of earshot. I scoot back on the lounge and lean my head back, enjoying the breathtaking view. I don’t know how long Alec is on the phone, but by the time he returns, I’m thoroughly relaxed and the pain in my ankle has lessened dramatically.
“Sorry about that. How’s the ankle?”
“Much better,” I say, shielding my eyes to look up at him.
“I hate that you got hurt. I could’ve directed you toward a nest of sea turtles just past my walk, along the dunes. Isn’t that what you said you were looking for?”
I nod. “Yeah, but we can come back another time.”
“If you feel like sitting Galen a bit more, I could run you down to see them before I take you home.”
I know I shouldn’t feel the little thrill of anticipation that blossoms in my stomach. I know I shouldn’t be so reluctant for my time with him to end. Or, at the very least, I should try to resist. But I don’t. I’m not sure I’ll ever see him again after today. With that in mind, it isn’t hard to convince myself that this one short trip won’t hurt anything. “I’d like that.”
“Just let me tell Javi,” he says, walking back into the house.
Less than five minutes later, Alec comes striding back through the door. He walks to my chair, but I stop him before he can bend and pick me up. “I can walk.” I probably can’t walk, actually. At least not comfortably. But I don’t want to put him out, which is exactly what it seems to do when he has to carry me.
He straightens and looks down at me, his right brow shooting up in that way I love. Something in the air between us thickens. It crackles with electricity. In the space of one short breath, without saying a word, everything changes.
“Is there another…position you’d rather me carry you in?” Alec’s tone is openly suggestive. I can see the difference in his eyes, in the hunger on his face. In the growl of his voice. We’re no longer pretending we don’t feel this, that we don’t both know where it’s going.
And once again, just like that, right here, on the deck, in the sunshine, we become two people I know better than anyone. We are Daire and Mason.
“Well, well, well. What have we here?” Mason asks. I startle at his voice as his shadow falls over me. I forget that he can come into the sun.
For an instant, I’m stunned. Humiliated by what he must see—the breeze teasing my hair, the sun beating down on my na**d shoulders and the water bubbling around my bared breasts, bringing my ni**les to hard points.
I gasp, instinctively leaning up and crossing my arms over my chest in modesty. I thought he’d gone for the day or I would never have risked slipping into the tub without my suit. Yet here he is, clad in nothing but a towel, obviously intent on having his own dip in the Jacuzzi.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t…I thought…if I’d known you were still here…” I stammer, beginning to stand, to go indoors where I can hide for the rest of my life, before I think better of it. I’m not exactly clothed for a dignified exit.
“Don’t apologize. I like this kind of surprise.” His eyes are warm and intense on me.
If he’d leave for just a minute, I’d get out of his way. “Please, if you’ll give me a moment—”
“No. I don’t think I will. I think I like you better this way.”
“But I—”
“No buts. And don’t pretend like this isn’t exactly where you want to be.”
How does he do that? See into my mind? Into my deepest thoughts and wildest imaginations?
“I don’t know what you mean,” I deny.
“Yes, you do. You know precisely what I mean. I know you watch me...”
My heart is hammering against my ribs as I think of all the times I have watched him—by himself, with women, in the shower, in the bed. And I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have all that attention focused on me. Just me.
Now, I do.
And I don’t think I can bring myself to stop before I find out what the rest feels like. What he feels like.
Back in reality, with my Mason, Alec doesn’t wait for me to answer. He simply bends and scoops me up into his arms. “Give me time,” he says softly. “I’ll show you just how many answers there are to that question.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN - Alec
With the deck steps nearby, Samantha was able to mount Galen with little assistance from me. She scooted back for me to sit in front of her this time. Not my first choice, of course but I can bide my time.
I did put my hand on her ass to steady her as she mounted. I knew it would get her flustered. I love that innocence about her. I love it so much I’m going to enjoy watching it melt away when she sees what pleasures the world has to offer. I get hard just thinking about it.
