Until November

Page 33

“You’re pregnant!” Liz squealed with excitement. I want to be happy, but I’m afraid about Asher’s reaction. “I hope it’s a girl. They always have so many cute girl things. So, what now?” she asks, looking at me expectantly.
“I…um, need to make a doctor’s appointment. I need to have them confirm it.”
“I'm pretty sure that the four tests you’ve taken confirm it.”
“I know. I mean, I need them to tell me that everything is okay, and that I haven’t harmed the baby over the last few months.”
Liz must have read the look on my face because she pulled me into a hug. “Hey, everything is going to work out,” she said quietly.
We decided to wander around Target. I needed time to think. I needed to figure out what the heck I was going to say to Asher. There was no way I could keep this from him. I didn’t want to keep this from him. I wanted his support. I needed him to tell me everything was going to be okay.
By the time we got to check out, the cart was overflowing. I knew how I was going to tell Asher that I was pregnant. Even if we didn’t plan this, I wanted it to be special. I also bought a few pairs of pregnancy pants with the stretchy material at the waist. My jeans were becoming so tight that I had to lie down to button them. I had been avoiding buying a bigger size. I didn’t want to admit to gaining weight. Now I knew I had to wear something bigger. It couldn’t be healthy for the baby to be squashed inside of me like that. Liz and I walked around the baby aisles looking at clothes, bedding, and toys. There were so many cute things and Liz’s excitement started to rub off on me.
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I was sitting at the island in the kitchen when I heard Asher’s jeep pull up. I had been trying to read, but my mind was so busy going over all the outcomes of the news I was getting ready to announce, that I ended up reading the same page about five times already. The minute that Asher walked through the door, I wanted to throw up. That had never happened before. Normally when he walked through the door, I wanted throw myself at him. My stomach was in knots, and I was having difficult time breathing.
“Hey, baby,” he said as he walked to me, kissing my forehead. “What’s wrong?” he asked, and I started to tell him, but then I smelled nothing but the paint that was splattered on his clothes. I ran to the bathroom. Apparently, the baby didn’t like that smell. My hair was lifted out of my face and off my neck and then a cold cloth was laid there. “Feel better?”
I nodded, even though I didn’t feel better. My nerves were shot. “Come shower with me.” He didn’t give me a choice. He picked me up, my head laying on his shoulder and my arms going around his neck. He sat me on the vanity in our bathroom then started the shower. I hopped off the counter and started brushing my teeth, watching him in the mirror as he got undressed. I knew I needed to do this now before I completely chickened out, or ended up in an Asher fog where I would forget everything.
“I’ll be right back,” I told him and took off out of the bathroom before he could stop me. I went to the kitchen and picked up the box that I had wrapped. I shoved the test that was in my purse in the back pocket of my jeans. Once I was back in the bathroom, he only had on his boxers and was standing in front of the mirror, so I hopped back up on the vanity and handed him the box.
“What’s this?” he asked, looking at the box that was wrapped in yellow paper.
“Just open it,” I said with my stomach in my throat.
He unwrapped it then set it down on the counter to open the lid. I watched his eyebrows come together in confusion. Unless he remembered the conversation we had about kids, he wouldn’t know why there was a box of Trojan condoms and a little kid’s pink gun in the box. He stared into the box for what seemed like an eternity then his head came up and his eyes looked wet.
“Does this mean what I think it means?”
I nodded my head. He swallowed and shook his head. I leaned forward, taking the test out of my back pocket and handing it to him. His hand came up, his fingers wrapping around it. His head bent and there was no way for him to misinterpret the words pregnant that were on the screen of the test. “Fuck me,” he whispered and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. His eyes were still locked on the test in his hand.
“I'm sorry,” I whispered after he still didn’t say anything. “I'm on birth control. I don’t even know how this happened.” I watched him drop the test into the box and close the lid. I was becoming more nervous. He didn’t look at me. He hadn’t said anything. He picked up the box and left the bathroom. I knew it was too soon. I knew it. I knew it. Oh God, what was I going to do? I put my head in my hands and tried to control the tears that I knew were coming. We needed to talk about this. Then, I needed to figure out what to do with myself.
Abortion was out of the question, and I couldn’t live my life knowing that my child was out in the world being taken care of by someone else. It had to be okay. We had to be okay. The thought of being without him made me sick. I needed to pull up my big girl panties and talk to him about this. I pulled my head away from my hands and started to get off the counter to go track him down. I was starting to get pissed. He married someone he didn’t love because she said she was pregnant with his child. He told her that it would be okay. He was supposed to love me. He needed to tell me right now that it would be okay, or I was going to walk away, regardless of how broken my heart would be.
I jumped back when Asher walked back into the bathroom. His hands went to my shirt and then it was gone. I was so surprised that I couldn’t form words. Then, my jeans were coming down and I was standing in my bra and panties.
“We need to talk,” I whispered, not knowing what the hell was going on with him. His face was blank, his eyes determined. Then, my panties were gone along with my bra. I was sitting back on the vanity before I even had time to think. “What the heck are you doing?” I pushed at his chest. He grabbed my hand, holding it between us.
“Seriously, you need to stop. We need to talk about this.” My voice was getting louder. I tried to shove him again. He didn’t move. My heart was racing, my breathing escalated. I noticed that he wasn’t even looking at me. His eyes were on my hand that he was holding. I looked down and my breath caught in my throat. On my left ring finger was a beautiful diamond ring. The center stone was round and surrounded by tons of smaller diamonds that traveled down and around the band. My hand flexed in his and he finally looked at me.
His voice was gruff when he spoke. “I’ve wanted to see you wearing nothing but my ring since I bought it for you. Knowing that, like the ring I put on your finger, I'm the only one. The only one who will ever see you in nothing but my ring. The only one who will wake up to your beautiful face every day for the rest of my life. The only one who will make love to you. The only one who will make babies with you.” I watched his eyes get wet. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you are carrying my child.”
His face came closer to mine. “I know that it’s fast, but this is right. We are right. You are the only one for me.” He kissed me deeply. When he pulled away, he laid his forehead against mine. “Tell me that you’ll marry me,” he whispered against my mouth.
Tears started to fall from my eyes. I couldn’t ask for a more perfect proposal. “Yes.” I shoved my face into his throat, wrapping myself around him. “Yes, I’ll marry you.” He picked me up, carrying me into the shower. He put me under the spray, taking his time to wash my hair. Then, he took his time washing me from head to toe, paying special attention to where his child was now growing. I helped him wash, and then we got out. He wrapped me in a towel and tied one around his waist. He picked me up again, carrying me to the bed where he sat me on the edge, my feet hanging over the side. He dropped to his knees in front of me. He opened my towel, his fingers traveling down the sides of my breast along my ribs down to my waist. His fingers resting on my sides, his thumbs moving over my lower stomach. His eyes met mine and the look of pure love that I saw shining made me hold my breath.
“It amazing,” he whispered, “to know that my purpose in life is sitting in front of me.” His hands moved to hold my face. Holy crap, I can’t believe that he just said that. Before I could even tell him I loved him, his lips touched mine, traveled along my jaw and down my neck.
My hands go to his head and mine falls back. His hands are along my sides, to my thighs first up, then down. Heat was pooling between my thighs with every touch. I whimpered when his mouth found my nipple and he gave it a firm tug. Then he sucked deep. My back arched and I moaned loudly. His hands traveled up my inner thighs, his fingers finding my center. “Soaked.” His fingers moving through the wetness he was creating, passing over my clit. I felt the heat building, but it wasn’t enough.
“Asher.” I whimpered. His mouth left my breast and he pulled my face to his. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, dragging it through his teeth. My mouth opened under his. His fingers were still slowly sliding through my wetness. Two fingers were filling me. My head flew back and my nails dug into his scalp.
“Yes.” His fingers were suddenly gone. My head came up and I watched as he pulled my other nipple into his mouth, bit down, and then dragged it through his teeth the same way he did my lip. He kissed the tip of my nipple. Then, his fingers were again moving through the wetness. I knew I was drenched. He licked down my stomach around my navel. Finally, I could feel his breath against my clit. I spread my legs wider, not caring that I was becoming desperate.
“Asher.” I moaned as I watched his tongue licking me from bottom to top then circling my clit. I was on the edge. I knew that once his mouth focused on that one spot, I was going to explode.
“Jesus, is it possible that you taste sweeter?” He groaned, licking me again and circling my clit. Then, he filled me again with two fingers at the same time. He latched onto my clit. My whole body came off the bed with the force of my orgasm. I could feel the walls of my pussy contracting, sucking his fingers deeper as he sucked my clit. I saw stars. My thighs tightened around his shoulders. My hands were holding onto his head. He kissed my inner thigh, above my pubic bone, along my stomach, up to each breast. His hands moved under my arms, pulling me deeper onto the bed. One of my legs was straight, the other bent, resting on the back of his thigh. My hands went to his jaw. His hand wrapped around his cock and he filled me.
“Yes!” I moaned, loving the sensation of him filling me. I opened my eyes to see his were closed tight. I circled my hips and his eyes flew open.
“Don’t.” His voice was firm. He grabbed my hips, stopping my movement. He kissed me softly and pulled out just an inch and slid back in. I bit my lip to keep myself still. His hands moved to my thighs spreading my legs wider. He pulled out so just the tip was still in, and slammed in so hard that my breath hitched. Then, he slid out and started a slow pace while kissing me. His hands were pinching my nipples then traveling down, pressing against my clit. My hands were traveling up his back, my mouth and tongue kissing and licking whatever I could reach. Then I felt it start. It was slow and deep and I knew that I couldn’t hold back. My mouth found his and I held his face close to mine.