Until We Fly
Page 57
I turn back to look at him and he stares down at me, his expression thoughtful.
I focus on the cleft in his chin. That lovely, adorable, sexy cleft. I reach up and place my thumb in it, where it fits perfectly.
“We fit,” I tell him. He rolls his eyes and captures my hand in his.
“In more ways than one,” he answers. I blush at that connotation, when I remember how well he’d fit inside of me last night, as we’d rocked together, over and over and over.
We fit.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you looked in the box,” I tell him suddenly, because the guilt comes back again. It’s been two weeks, and I still feel awful that I left him, that I made him feel not good enough, when he’s better than anyone I know.
He shrugs. “It’s ok. I’m ok. Really.”
I reach into the pocket of his jacket, where I know I’ll find the lock. He’s been keeping it there for weeks. I pull it out and stare at it, as I turn it over and over in my hands.
“I’m glad he finally admitted his own guilt,” I say simply. “You deserve that.”
Brand shrugs again, his eyes guarded as he looks out across the water. “I think I can honestly finally say that I don’t care. I am free. I’ll always miss my sister, but her death wasn’t my fault. I know that now.”
“I’m glad you see that,” I tell him. And I mean it. I’m so freaking glad. I know what it’s like to carry guilt for something you can’t control. I don’t want that for Brand.
I snuggle into his side, absorbing his warmth, soaking him in.
“Tell me about her.”
“About Alison?”
I nod.
“Well, she was only four. But she was bubbly and happy all the time. She followed me everywhere. And being the six year-old boy that I was, I’m sure I wasn’t always the most patient with her, but I did love her. I’ll always miss the sister she would’ve become and I’ll always wonder who she would’ve been.”
My belly tightens, because of all of it… because Alison deserved to grow up and because Brand deserved to have a sister who was his best friend, someone to talk to about girls and confide in and torment and tease.
He didn’t get that.
But he did get me. It’s not the same, I know. But I’ll be his best friend, and his confidante, and I’ll never leave him again.
Brand takes the lock from my hands and stands up. He gazes out at the lake, and I see where he’s staring. From here, there is a perfect view of the buoy, the f**king weathered buoy that has taunted him most of his life.
With perfectly strong steps, Brand strides down the path to the beach, stopping when his toes hit the water. With one quick movement, he hurls the lock out over the lake. With laser precision, it hits the bell on the buoy before it bounces into the water and immediately sinks below the surface.
For a moment, the sound of the bell echoes down the beach, haunting and eerie.
Brand climbs the hill and stands in front of me, a strange grin on his face.
“I rang the f**king bell.”
I smile and shake my head.
“Yeah, you did.”
And all of a sudden, the air around us is lighter and I know why.
Because it’s gone.
All of it… the guilt, the hate, the bitterness… all of it is gone.
I press myself into Brand’s arms, enjoying the way they wrap around me and hold me close, the way all is right in the world when I’m here, the way he loves me.
The way he’s mine.
I stand on a wall to protect what is mine.
I’m his and he’s mine.
It’s the way it’s meant to be.
We’ll protect each other forever, for the rest of our lives.
No matter what.
***
Brand
Nora and I ride the old Triumph for hours, and I enjoy everything about it. I enjoy knowing that my grandpa had once ridden this very bike. I enjoy the way Nora wraps herself around me, trusting me to keep her safe. I enjoy the wind and the sun and the sky that is so vast and huge and everywhere.
We ride for hours until we finally ride home, to Gabe’s little cottage. As we get ready for bed, I look at Nora.
She stands in front of the window, bathed in the silvery light of the moon, and I know that she’s everything I’ll ever want. She’s more than I ever knew I deserved and then some.
She’s beautiful.
And she’s mine.
Looking up, she catches me looking at her and smiles.
“What?”
I shake my head as I turn back the covers of the bed.
“Nothing.”
We climb into bed, tumbling into each other’s arms, the way we have for weeks, as if turning to each other in the dark will keep all of the ugliness away. Because you know what?
It does. It really does.
Nora strokes my face, letting her fingers slide down my cheek, until her fingertip presses into the cleft on my chin.
We fit, Brand.
“We’ve got to get back to reality,” she tells me regretfully. “I’ve got to get to know Julian as my father. You’ve got to figure out what to do with your parents’ house, then we’ve got to decide where to live.”
I stare at her in the dark.
“We should probably decide where to live first, before we do anything else.”
She smirks. “Smart ass. Fine. Where do you want to live?”
I’m quiet for a minute as I ponder that and for the life of me, I don’t care.
“I don’t care where we live,” I tell her honestly. “I just want you with me. We can live in California by the ocean, we can live in the countryside in France, we can live in the city in Chicago or New York… it doesn’t matter. I just want you with me.”
Nora stares up at me, her full lip quivering.
“Agreed,” she answers softly. “You’re home to me, Brand.”
A lump forms in my throat, and I try to swallow around it, as I think of every f**king thing that has happened over the past couple of years.
“It’s funny how things work out,” I muse aloud. “Two years ago, I thought my world was ending, that nothing would be ok again. But everything happens for a reason. All of those twisted paths in my life led me to where I’m meant to be…. which is right here.”
“With me,” Nora sighs happily, squirming closer.
I focus on the cleft in his chin. That lovely, adorable, sexy cleft. I reach up and place my thumb in it, where it fits perfectly.
“We fit,” I tell him. He rolls his eyes and captures my hand in his.
“In more ways than one,” he answers. I blush at that connotation, when I remember how well he’d fit inside of me last night, as we’d rocked together, over and over and over.
We fit.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you looked in the box,” I tell him suddenly, because the guilt comes back again. It’s been two weeks, and I still feel awful that I left him, that I made him feel not good enough, when he’s better than anyone I know.
He shrugs. “It’s ok. I’m ok. Really.”
I reach into the pocket of his jacket, where I know I’ll find the lock. He’s been keeping it there for weeks. I pull it out and stare at it, as I turn it over and over in my hands.
“I’m glad he finally admitted his own guilt,” I say simply. “You deserve that.”
Brand shrugs again, his eyes guarded as he looks out across the water. “I think I can honestly finally say that I don’t care. I am free. I’ll always miss my sister, but her death wasn’t my fault. I know that now.”
“I’m glad you see that,” I tell him. And I mean it. I’m so freaking glad. I know what it’s like to carry guilt for something you can’t control. I don’t want that for Brand.
I snuggle into his side, absorbing his warmth, soaking him in.
“Tell me about her.”
“About Alison?”
I nod.
“Well, she was only four. But she was bubbly and happy all the time. She followed me everywhere. And being the six year-old boy that I was, I’m sure I wasn’t always the most patient with her, but I did love her. I’ll always miss the sister she would’ve become and I’ll always wonder who she would’ve been.”
My belly tightens, because of all of it… because Alison deserved to grow up and because Brand deserved to have a sister who was his best friend, someone to talk to about girls and confide in and torment and tease.
He didn’t get that.
But he did get me. It’s not the same, I know. But I’ll be his best friend, and his confidante, and I’ll never leave him again.
Brand takes the lock from my hands and stands up. He gazes out at the lake, and I see where he’s staring. From here, there is a perfect view of the buoy, the f**king weathered buoy that has taunted him most of his life.
With perfectly strong steps, Brand strides down the path to the beach, stopping when his toes hit the water. With one quick movement, he hurls the lock out over the lake. With laser precision, it hits the bell on the buoy before it bounces into the water and immediately sinks below the surface.
For a moment, the sound of the bell echoes down the beach, haunting and eerie.
Brand climbs the hill and stands in front of me, a strange grin on his face.
“I rang the f**king bell.”
I smile and shake my head.
“Yeah, you did.”
And all of a sudden, the air around us is lighter and I know why.
Because it’s gone.
All of it… the guilt, the hate, the bitterness… all of it is gone.
I press myself into Brand’s arms, enjoying the way they wrap around me and hold me close, the way all is right in the world when I’m here, the way he loves me.
The way he’s mine.
I stand on a wall to protect what is mine.
I’m his and he’s mine.
It’s the way it’s meant to be.
We’ll protect each other forever, for the rest of our lives.
No matter what.
***
Brand
Nora and I ride the old Triumph for hours, and I enjoy everything about it. I enjoy knowing that my grandpa had once ridden this very bike. I enjoy the way Nora wraps herself around me, trusting me to keep her safe. I enjoy the wind and the sun and the sky that is so vast and huge and everywhere.
We ride for hours until we finally ride home, to Gabe’s little cottage. As we get ready for bed, I look at Nora.
She stands in front of the window, bathed in the silvery light of the moon, and I know that she’s everything I’ll ever want. She’s more than I ever knew I deserved and then some.
She’s beautiful.
And she’s mine.
Looking up, she catches me looking at her and smiles.
“What?”
I shake my head as I turn back the covers of the bed.
“Nothing.”
We climb into bed, tumbling into each other’s arms, the way we have for weeks, as if turning to each other in the dark will keep all of the ugliness away. Because you know what?
It does. It really does.
Nora strokes my face, letting her fingers slide down my cheek, until her fingertip presses into the cleft on my chin.
We fit, Brand.
“We’ve got to get back to reality,” she tells me regretfully. “I’ve got to get to know Julian as my father. You’ve got to figure out what to do with your parents’ house, then we’ve got to decide where to live.”
I stare at her in the dark.
“We should probably decide where to live first, before we do anything else.”
She smirks. “Smart ass. Fine. Where do you want to live?”
I’m quiet for a minute as I ponder that and for the life of me, I don’t care.
“I don’t care where we live,” I tell her honestly. “I just want you with me. We can live in California by the ocean, we can live in the countryside in France, we can live in the city in Chicago or New York… it doesn’t matter. I just want you with me.”
Nora stares up at me, her full lip quivering.
“Agreed,” she answers softly. “You’re home to me, Brand.”
A lump forms in my throat, and I try to swallow around it, as I think of every f**king thing that has happened over the past couple of years.
“It’s funny how things work out,” I muse aloud. “Two years ago, I thought my world was ending, that nothing would be ok again. But everything happens for a reason. All of those twisted paths in my life led me to where I’m meant to be…. which is right here.”
“With me,” Nora sighs happily, squirming closer.
