Until We Touch
Page 23
She gave a laugh that cracked in the middle, then sniffed. “It’s okay, Jack. I get it.”
He didn’t know what to say to that. What did she get? And why did he know that the hell he found himself in wasn’t over yet?
* * *
JACK’S BAD DAY got worse when he went into town for lunch. An innocent enough errand, just not that particular day. There was a food truck that had a place by the park. They served the best sandwiches and wraps he’d ever had. Now he made it a habit to stop by a couple of times a week.
He’d chosen today because getting out of the office had seemed like a good idea. No one had said anything about the incident with the masseuse, but he knew they knew. Worse, Larissa had gone home early, claiming she wasn’t feeling well. He knew the truth. He knew he’d hurt her and that he was the lowest form of life there was.
The last thing he wanted was another warning conversation with Kenny, so he’d decided lunch out was a solution for all his ills. Only when he got in line, about six people back from the order window, he noticed a tall, lanky teen talking to a pretty girl. The girl was of average height, with auburn hair and green eyes. Pretty enough. Maybe too pretty.
Talking was fine, Jack thought, pleased Percy had made friends. Only then the girl put her hand on Percy’s arm and dammit it all to hell if Percy didn’t lightly kiss her.
Dating? Percy was dating? He’d only been in town, like, a month. How could he have found a girlfriend so quickly? This was something Jack didn’t need. Because teenaged boys were one giant walking, breathing hormone. They had one thing on their minds and it wasn’t how to study hard and better themselves. He’d ignored Larissa’s request to talk to Percy about safe sex. Turned out he should have listened.
Worse, this was Fool’s Gold. It was just a matter of time until everyone knew about Percy and the pretty redhead, and then there was going to be trouble. One of her parents would come calling to meet Percy’s “guardians.” What was Jack supposed to say? What did he really know about the kid?
The line moved. Percy and the girl placed their order. A few minutes later, Jack did the same. It was a testament to young love that they ate their entire lunch without noticing him only a couple of tables away. He waited until they’d said goodbye and Percy started back to the office to make his move. Jack walked behind him for a few feet, then increased his speed until they were level.
Percy grinned. “Hey, Jack. Were you in town for lunch, too? You should try the food truck, man. It’s great. The lady who runs it—Ana Raquel—is Dellina’s sister. Dellina is—”
“I know who Dellina is,” he said curtly. “And I just had lunch there.”
“You did? I didn’t see you.” Percy’s smile faded. “Oh. You saw me with Melissa.”
“I did.”
Percy came to a stop and faced him. The teen’s posture was defensive and combative at the same time. His shoulders were square and jaw thrust out.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said defiantly.
“I doubt that.”
“You think I don’t belong with her. Is it because of the color of my skin?”
“What? Your skin? No. I think it’s because you’re eighteen years old and your head is run by your dick.”
Percy’s mouth twitched. “That’s why you’re upset? You thinking I’m banging her? I’m not. She’s more important than that. We’ve only been seeing each other a couple of weeks.”
Jack rubbed his temple. “Percy, Fool’s Gold isn’t like Los Angeles. It’s a small town. People know things about each other. Melissa’s parents know their daughter is dating some guy they know nothing about. So they’re going to come looking for answers.”
“She doesn’t have parents. Not here. She lives with her aunt and uncle, when she’s not at college.” His mouth twitched again. “She’s a year older than me.”
“Oh, goodie.” Jack pointed toward the office. “Start walking and start listening. Like I said, this is a small town. Sure it’s nice to know a lot of people but that also means everybody gets to know your business. And in this case, your business is dating a hometown girl.”
“Are you saying I shouldn’t see her?”
“No. I’m saying I’m going to be bringing you a box of condoms. A big box. When that box gets close to empty, let me know and I’ll buy another one.”
Jack didn’t look at Percy as they walked together and he really didn’t want to be having this conversation. He wasn’t the right guy for this. Surely that was clear to anyone who might be listening.
Percy chuckled. “You trying to tell me to have safe sex?”
“Yes,” Jack growled. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. Put a hat on it, kid. Neither you nor Melissa want an unplanned pregnancy.”
“I know where babies come from.”
“Good. That will make it easier to keep it from happening without warning.”
“Melissa and I are taking things slow. Keeping ’em casual. She heads back to school in a couple of weeks, so I don’t think we’re going to be doing anything like that. But I promise, if we do, I’ll use a condom.”
Jack nodded. “You know how?” he forced himself to ask, and prayed the answer was yes.
“I do. I’ve been putting a ‘hat’ on it for a while now.” He chuckled. “Man, you are so old.”
“Thanks.”
Percy laughed harder. “You didn’t like this one bit, did you?”
“No.”
“But you got the job done. That’s something.”
If only it was enough.
* * *
LARISSA DREW THE brush across Dyna’s back. The cat lay in a patch of sun, her eyes half-closed, her purring all rumbly.
“Is that nice?” she asked softly. “Do you like the attention?”
The rumble continued.
“I think I’d like being a cat,” Larissa continued. “People to pet you and take care of you. And it’s different in the cat world. Humans have to earn your trust, right? Like you and me. You were interested in living here, but cautious. Over time, I won you over. It’s not like you were begging me to take you in and then I didn’t love you back. Trust me, that sucks.”
She paused mentally, if not with the petting, to consider that maybe she was anthropomorphizing the situation a little bit more than she should have. Dyna was a cat. She didn’t fall in love—at least not romantically. She bonded with the person who took care of her. Larissa, on the other hand, had bonded where she wasn’t welcome and was now suffering the consequences.
Someone knocked on her door. She looked over her shoulder before scrambling to her feet. She was pretty sure she knew who would be there. Someone from Score. Odds were on Taryn or Jack. She knew who her heart wanted her visitor to be.
She drew in a breath, then turned the knob. Jack stood on the small landing. He looked at her with a steady gaze.
“We have to talk,” he told her.
A few weeks ago she would have teased him about turning into a woman, saying something like that. He would have teased her back. Things had been easy. Before, she thought sadly. Before she’d realized she’d fallen in love with him.
Ignorance really was bliss, she admitted to herself as she stepped back to allow him in. Right now she was battling an uncomfortable combination of hurt, humiliation and, the real kicker—happiness to bask in his presence. How ridiculous was that?
Jack stepped into her small apartment. He bent down and scooped Dyna up in his arms. The long-haired feline relaxed completely and continued to purr.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he said as he rubbed the side of her face. Dyna snuggled closer.
Larissa had to admit that the sight of a big tough guy holding a fluffy cat was pretty hard to resist. Not that she was interested in resisting all that much. Which was part of the problem. Her lack of willpower.
Jack set Dyna on the sofa and then drew in a breath. “I’m sorry about the masseuse,” he said. “That was wrong on a lot of different levels. I shouldn’t have called her at all, but having called, I should have gone to see her somewhere else. I violated your personal space. I apologize for that.”
She nodded, knowing he wasn’t responsible for all the blame.
“I changed the rules,” she admitted, not quite meeting his gaze.
“You did and you scared the hell out of me.”
That made her look at him. “How do you figure?”
“Larissa, you’re important to me. You and I are close and I like that. I like everything about our relationship. I trust you and there aren’t a whole lot of people I can say that about. What we have...” He paused. “I saw Percy in town today.”
“Okay, and that’s relevant how?”
“He was with a girl. Her name is Melissa and they’re seeing each other.”
“Percy has a girlfriend? Why didn’t I know about this? Who is she and do I approve?”
Jack smiled gently. “Not my point. When I freaked out, he told me not to worry. That he wasn’t, ah, sleeping with her. She was too important for that. Now, I used to be an eighteen-year-old guy so I know exactly how much sex matters. What I think he meant is hooking up is easy. Relationships are a whole other thing. That’s what I mean about you. I don’t want to date you because my romantic relationships always end badly. If we don’t go down that path, we can stay together forever.”
Maybe, but the way things were, she was stuck being in love with him. “What if I want more?”
“I can’t give you that.”
“You mean you don’t want to.”
“Isn’t it the same thing?” he asked.
“Not really. I just wish you were interested in me in that way.” She wanted to ask if he could try a little harder, but that seemed too much like begging. And a girl either had to have Dyna’s looks or a little pride.
He closed the space between them and took her hands in his. “We’re a great team. Look at all we get done. Your causes, my causes. We laugh a lot. Isn’t that better than being in love with me?”
She pulled her hands free. “I don’t like this any more than you do. It’s humiliating to think you don’t want me or think of me as other than a friend. Why can’t you be begging me for something I don’t want to give?”
“I’ll beg for things to go back the way they were before, if that helps.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I just want to be a part of something. I want...” She paused as yet another uncomfortable truth rose to the surface. “I want what my sisters have. A conventional, normal marriage with a couple of kids and a great husband.”
A muscle twitched in Jack’s jaw, but what he said was, “I want that for you, too.”
“With another guy?”
“Unless you’re playing for the other team these days. If so, I know a really cute girl who might be your type.”
“Ha ha.” She sighed. “I’m so boring.”
“You’re not. You’re lovely.”
“I’m nearly thirty, single and desperately in love with a man who has no interest in me. The only thing that would make me more of a cliché was if you were married. Honestly, how did this happen?”
He shrugged. “You couldn’t help yourself, Larissa. You never had a chance. I mean, come on. It’s me.”
Which was both funny and completely the truth, she thought as she smiled at him. “You’re not all that.”
“I would agree with you, except for this situation between us. It kind of proves my point.”
“You’re so annoying.”
He held out his arms.
She hesitated for a second, then stepped into his embrace. It wasn’t like the one from a few nights ago. There was no erection, no kissing. Just the familiar feel of Jack’s arms around her.
“Friends?” he asked.
She nodded. “I wonder if Kenny would like to go out with me.”
“Aren’t you the funny one? Want to go get dinner?”
“Sure. I’m going to order the most expensive item on the menu.”
“That’s my girl.”
* * *
ORDER WAS RESTORED to the Score family, at least on the surface. Larissa was grateful to have something close to normal in her relationship with Jack. They hung out together, she gave him massages—without him getting aroused—and together she and Percy teased him mercilessly about his somewhat pathetic attempt to have the birds-and-bees talk with a streetwise teen.
But in her quiet moments, when she was alone, she wondered how she was supposed to move on with her life. How was she supposed to fall out of love with Jack and in love with someone else? Score sucked up all her time. While she hung out with her friends a lot, she rarely saw any man who didn’t work at Score, and the ones she did were engaged or married to her friends. While it seemed Fool’s Gold had a few good men around, she wasn’t meeting them. If only she’d been more excited about cowboy Zane.
Larissa confirmed Jack’s foursome for the Pro-am, answered a couple of emails from previous recipients of Jack’s largess on the transplant front and was about to start on putting away the clean linens that had been delivered when her cell phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Larissa? It’s Dan. We have an emergency. Remember the lady in Stockton with the chiweenies? We finally got in and it’s as we feared. We have a hoarding situation. It seems like she started out with the best of intentions and then it all got out of hand. We’re heading down within the hour.”
He didn’t know what to say to that. What did she get? And why did he know that the hell he found himself in wasn’t over yet?
* * *
JACK’S BAD DAY got worse when he went into town for lunch. An innocent enough errand, just not that particular day. There was a food truck that had a place by the park. They served the best sandwiches and wraps he’d ever had. Now he made it a habit to stop by a couple of times a week.
He’d chosen today because getting out of the office had seemed like a good idea. No one had said anything about the incident with the masseuse, but he knew they knew. Worse, Larissa had gone home early, claiming she wasn’t feeling well. He knew the truth. He knew he’d hurt her and that he was the lowest form of life there was.
The last thing he wanted was another warning conversation with Kenny, so he’d decided lunch out was a solution for all his ills. Only when he got in line, about six people back from the order window, he noticed a tall, lanky teen talking to a pretty girl. The girl was of average height, with auburn hair and green eyes. Pretty enough. Maybe too pretty.
Talking was fine, Jack thought, pleased Percy had made friends. Only then the girl put her hand on Percy’s arm and dammit it all to hell if Percy didn’t lightly kiss her.
Dating? Percy was dating? He’d only been in town, like, a month. How could he have found a girlfriend so quickly? This was something Jack didn’t need. Because teenaged boys were one giant walking, breathing hormone. They had one thing on their minds and it wasn’t how to study hard and better themselves. He’d ignored Larissa’s request to talk to Percy about safe sex. Turned out he should have listened.
Worse, this was Fool’s Gold. It was just a matter of time until everyone knew about Percy and the pretty redhead, and then there was going to be trouble. One of her parents would come calling to meet Percy’s “guardians.” What was Jack supposed to say? What did he really know about the kid?
The line moved. Percy and the girl placed their order. A few minutes later, Jack did the same. It was a testament to young love that they ate their entire lunch without noticing him only a couple of tables away. He waited until they’d said goodbye and Percy started back to the office to make his move. Jack walked behind him for a few feet, then increased his speed until they were level.
Percy grinned. “Hey, Jack. Were you in town for lunch, too? You should try the food truck, man. It’s great. The lady who runs it—Ana Raquel—is Dellina’s sister. Dellina is—”
“I know who Dellina is,” he said curtly. “And I just had lunch there.”
“You did? I didn’t see you.” Percy’s smile faded. “Oh. You saw me with Melissa.”
“I did.”
Percy came to a stop and faced him. The teen’s posture was defensive and combative at the same time. His shoulders were square and jaw thrust out.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said defiantly.
“I doubt that.”
“You think I don’t belong with her. Is it because of the color of my skin?”
“What? Your skin? No. I think it’s because you’re eighteen years old and your head is run by your dick.”
Percy’s mouth twitched. “That’s why you’re upset? You thinking I’m banging her? I’m not. She’s more important than that. We’ve only been seeing each other a couple of weeks.”
Jack rubbed his temple. “Percy, Fool’s Gold isn’t like Los Angeles. It’s a small town. People know things about each other. Melissa’s parents know their daughter is dating some guy they know nothing about. So they’re going to come looking for answers.”
“She doesn’t have parents. Not here. She lives with her aunt and uncle, when she’s not at college.” His mouth twitched again. “She’s a year older than me.”
“Oh, goodie.” Jack pointed toward the office. “Start walking and start listening. Like I said, this is a small town. Sure it’s nice to know a lot of people but that also means everybody gets to know your business. And in this case, your business is dating a hometown girl.”
“Are you saying I shouldn’t see her?”
“No. I’m saying I’m going to be bringing you a box of condoms. A big box. When that box gets close to empty, let me know and I’ll buy another one.”
Jack didn’t look at Percy as they walked together and he really didn’t want to be having this conversation. He wasn’t the right guy for this. Surely that was clear to anyone who might be listening.
Percy chuckled. “You trying to tell me to have safe sex?”
“Yes,” Jack growled. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. Put a hat on it, kid. Neither you nor Melissa want an unplanned pregnancy.”
“I know where babies come from.”
“Good. That will make it easier to keep it from happening without warning.”
“Melissa and I are taking things slow. Keeping ’em casual. She heads back to school in a couple of weeks, so I don’t think we’re going to be doing anything like that. But I promise, if we do, I’ll use a condom.”
Jack nodded. “You know how?” he forced himself to ask, and prayed the answer was yes.
“I do. I’ve been putting a ‘hat’ on it for a while now.” He chuckled. “Man, you are so old.”
“Thanks.”
Percy laughed harder. “You didn’t like this one bit, did you?”
“No.”
“But you got the job done. That’s something.”
If only it was enough.
* * *
LARISSA DREW THE brush across Dyna’s back. The cat lay in a patch of sun, her eyes half-closed, her purring all rumbly.
“Is that nice?” she asked softly. “Do you like the attention?”
The rumble continued.
“I think I’d like being a cat,” Larissa continued. “People to pet you and take care of you. And it’s different in the cat world. Humans have to earn your trust, right? Like you and me. You were interested in living here, but cautious. Over time, I won you over. It’s not like you were begging me to take you in and then I didn’t love you back. Trust me, that sucks.”
She paused mentally, if not with the petting, to consider that maybe she was anthropomorphizing the situation a little bit more than she should have. Dyna was a cat. She didn’t fall in love—at least not romantically. She bonded with the person who took care of her. Larissa, on the other hand, had bonded where she wasn’t welcome and was now suffering the consequences.
Someone knocked on her door. She looked over her shoulder before scrambling to her feet. She was pretty sure she knew who would be there. Someone from Score. Odds were on Taryn or Jack. She knew who her heart wanted her visitor to be.
She drew in a breath, then turned the knob. Jack stood on the small landing. He looked at her with a steady gaze.
“We have to talk,” he told her.
A few weeks ago she would have teased him about turning into a woman, saying something like that. He would have teased her back. Things had been easy. Before, she thought sadly. Before she’d realized she’d fallen in love with him.
Ignorance really was bliss, she admitted to herself as she stepped back to allow him in. Right now she was battling an uncomfortable combination of hurt, humiliation and, the real kicker—happiness to bask in his presence. How ridiculous was that?
Jack stepped into her small apartment. He bent down and scooped Dyna up in his arms. The long-haired feline relaxed completely and continued to purr.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he said as he rubbed the side of her face. Dyna snuggled closer.
Larissa had to admit that the sight of a big tough guy holding a fluffy cat was pretty hard to resist. Not that she was interested in resisting all that much. Which was part of the problem. Her lack of willpower.
Jack set Dyna on the sofa and then drew in a breath. “I’m sorry about the masseuse,” he said. “That was wrong on a lot of different levels. I shouldn’t have called her at all, but having called, I should have gone to see her somewhere else. I violated your personal space. I apologize for that.”
She nodded, knowing he wasn’t responsible for all the blame.
“I changed the rules,” she admitted, not quite meeting his gaze.
“You did and you scared the hell out of me.”
That made her look at him. “How do you figure?”
“Larissa, you’re important to me. You and I are close and I like that. I like everything about our relationship. I trust you and there aren’t a whole lot of people I can say that about. What we have...” He paused. “I saw Percy in town today.”
“Okay, and that’s relevant how?”
“He was with a girl. Her name is Melissa and they’re seeing each other.”
“Percy has a girlfriend? Why didn’t I know about this? Who is she and do I approve?”
Jack smiled gently. “Not my point. When I freaked out, he told me not to worry. That he wasn’t, ah, sleeping with her. She was too important for that. Now, I used to be an eighteen-year-old guy so I know exactly how much sex matters. What I think he meant is hooking up is easy. Relationships are a whole other thing. That’s what I mean about you. I don’t want to date you because my romantic relationships always end badly. If we don’t go down that path, we can stay together forever.”
Maybe, but the way things were, she was stuck being in love with him. “What if I want more?”
“I can’t give you that.”
“You mean you don’t want to.”
“Isn’t it the same thing?” he asked.
“Not really. I just wish you were interested in me in that way.” She wanted to ask if he could try a little harder, but that seemed too much like begging. And a girl either had to have Dyna’s looks or a little pride.
He closed the space between them and took her hands in his. “We’re a great team. Look at all we get done. Your causes, my causes. We laugh a lot. Isn’t that better than being in love with me?”
She pulled her hands free. “I don’t like this any more than you do. It’s humiliating to think you don’t want me or think of me as other than a friend. Why can’t you be begging me for something I don’t want to give?”
“I’ll beg for things to go back the way they were before, if that helps.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I just want to be a part of something. I want...” She paused as yet another uncomfortable truth rose to the surface. “I want what my sisters have. A conventional, normal marriage with a couple of kids and a great husband.”
A muscle twitched in Jack’s jaw, but what he said was, “I want that for you, too.”
“With another guy?”
“Unless you’re playing for the other team these days. If so, I know a really cute girl who might be your type.”
“Ha ha.” She sighed. “I’m so boring.”
“You’re not. You’re lovely.”
“I’m nearly thirty, single and desperately in love with a man who has no interest in me. The only thing that would make me more of a cliché was if you were married. Honestly, how did this happen?”
He shrugged. “You couldn’t help yourself, Larissa. You never had a chance. I mean, come on. It’s me.”
Which was both funny and completely the truth, she thought as she smiled at him. “You’re not all that.”
“I would agree with you, except for this situation between us. It kind of proves my point.”
“You’re so annoying.”
He held out his arms.
She hesitated for a second, then stepped into his embrace. It wasn’t like the one from a few nights ago. There was no erection, no kissing. Just the familiar feel of Jack’s arms around her.
“Friends?” he asked.
She nodded. “I wonder if Kenny would like to go out with me.”
“Aren’t you the funny one? Want to go get dinner?”
“Sure. I’m going to order the most expensive item on the menu.”
“That’s my girl.”
* * *
ORDER WAS RESTORED to the Score family, at least on the surface. Larissa was grateful to have something close to normal in her relationship with Jack. They hung out together, she gave him massages—without him getting aroused—and together she and Percy teased him mercilessly about his somewhat pathetic attempt to have the birds-and-bees talk with a streetwise teen.
But in her quiet moments, when she was alone, she wondered how she was supposed to move on with her life. How was she supposed to fall out of love with Jack and in love with someone else? Score sucked up all her time. While she hung out with her friends a lot, she rarely saw any man who didn’t work at Score, and the ones she did were engaged or married to her friends. While it seemed Fool’s Gold had a few good men around, she wasn’t meeting them. If only she’d been more excited about cowboy Zane.
Larissa confirmed Jack’s foursome for the Pro-am, answered a couple of emails from previous recipients of Jack’s largess on the transplant front and was about to start on putting away the clean linens that had been delivered when her cell phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Larissa? It’s Dan. We have an emergency. Remember the lady in Stockton with the chiweenies? We finally got in and it’s as we feared. We have a hoarding situation. It seems like she started out with the best of intentions and then it all got out of hand. We’re heading down within the hour.”
