Until We Touch
Page 27
“You’re right about the schedule,” Jack told the teen. “For walking and everything else.” He glanced around at his house. “I don’t think we should be leaving five active dogs home alone.” Another complication, compliments of Larissa. Yet he wasn’t the least bit upset. How could he be after yesterday?
There would be hell to pay later for all that. He was sure of it. But whatever the price, his twenty-four hours with her had been worth it. He’d enjoyed every second of his time with her. The sex had been incredible, but it had been more than that. It had been about connecting with her in a way they hadn’t before. About being with her.
For a second he allowed himself to wonder what if. What if he could be like everyone else? What if he was willing to believe? Foolish questions. Because he wasn’t. He’d lost Lucas and on the heels of that, his parents had gone away. They’d told him he would be fine, but that had been about them assuaging their own consciences. They hadn’t wanted to know their only living son needed them. Their need to escape the pain of what they’d been through had been stronger than their love for him. He got that. He even understood the logic. But he couldn’t forgive and he sure as hell couldn’t forget.
He’d vowed never to care that deeply again, and he hadn’t. With Taryn, he’d liked her a lot, but there hadn’t been love. Not beyond friendship. When she’d turned up pregnant, he’d known he was going to have to suck it up and give his heart to their baby. He’d been willing to take the risk. But then she’d miscarried and the moment had been lost.
He had a good life, he reminded himself. People he cared about and who cared about him. The relationships he had these days were safe. They would last. There wasn’t anything on the line so there wasn’t anything to lose.
Percy got up. “I’ll be right back,” he said and headed up the stairs. Two of the dogs opened their eyes and watched him go, but they didn’t move.
Percy returned with a book in his hand. He gave it to Jack and sat on the sofa.
“I read it,” he said, both proud and shy. “The whole thing. Kenny’s been working with me and that software program really helped. I wasn’t as bad as I thought. I think I can do it. I want to get my GED.”
Jack patted him on the back. “Good for you. I’m glad. Congratulations on finishing the book. Let me know when you want some more. We’ll go get them.”
“Sam already took me. I’m going to work real hard, Jack. You’ve given me a great opportunity and I’m going to take advantage of it.”
“I’m glad.”
“I want to go to college. And I know what I want to do while I’m there.” He paused for effect.
Jack held in a groan. Percy looked eager as he spoke. Excited. Jack had a bad idea he knew where this was going. It made sense. He was around the three of them all day. He saw the glamorous side of the sport. But to play football professionally?
He studied the kid impersonally. Percy wasn’t big enough and he hadn’t been working on his skill set. With a lot of coaching maybe he could make a team at the community college, but his odds of going pro were about zero. That required a gift from the gods and Percy hadn’t been chosen. At least not as far as Jack could tell.
He would let him down gently, Jack told himself. Maybe run him through some drills so he could see how much work was ahead. Maybe if they went to a Pac-12 game with UCLA or Stanford, Percy could see what was expected of a—
“I want to study to be a teacher. I want to help kids like me. Kids who slip through the cracks and are sent on to the next grade, even though they’re not ready.”
Jack stared at him. “A teacher?”
“Uh-huh.”
Jack started to smile. If Larissa were here, she would take this moment to point out that despite his best efforts, he wasn’t at the center of the universe every single minute.
“That’s great,” he told Percy. “I think you’ll be a terrific teacher.” There was more to discuss. Like the fact that he should start at a community college to build up his study habits in a less competitive environment. And that Jack wanted to make sure they found the best four-year for him to transfer to. But that was for later.
“You’ve got a goal,” he told Percy. “That’s how all greatness begins.”
“Kenny says it’s all about fundamentals.”
“Kenny would say that,” Jack murmured, feeling kind of good about himself and what was happening with Percy. Was this why Larissa did it? For the sense of accomplishment and knowing she’d made a real difference? He had to admit, he liked it.
The front door opened and Kenny walked in.
Percy grinned. “We were just talking about you. I was telling Jack what you said about fundamentals.”
Jack watched his friend approach and saw the blood in the other man’s eyes. As he stood, prepared for what was coming, he had the brief thought that word traveled fast. Then a fist flew into his face and the world went dark.
* * *
“NOTHING’S BROKEN,” KENNY grumbled as he put ice into a dish towel.
Jack sat at the kitchen table and carefully felt his face. His friend was right. All the bones felt as they had before. There was swelling, but that would go down with time. On the bright side, Kenny was holding his right hand as if it hurt him. One fact the movies never mentioned when they showed those fight scenes—it hurt as much to hit as be hit.
Percy hovered in the entrance to the kitchen. “I don’t understand,” he said for fourth time. “You’re not mad at each other.”
“I was mad,” Kenny said. “I made my point and now it’s over.”
“Fighting doesn’t accomplish anything,” Percy told him.
Jack took the offered ice and put it on his jaw. “There wasn’t a fight. I was hit. There’s a difference.”
Five chiweenies danced in the kitchen, trying hard to trip anyone standing. Jack was grateful to be in the chair. His face hurt and he knew it was going to get worse before it got better.
Percy looked between the two men. “You’re not going to tell me what that was about, are you?”
“Nope,” Kenny said.
“So I should go upstairs?”
“Probably a good idea,” Jack told him.
“Whatever,” Percy muttered and left.
The chiweenies went with him. Jack had a feeling all five of them would end up on the bed, rocking out to music he was too old to understand.
When they were alone, Kenny took the chair opposite Jack’s and sat down.
“You had to sleep with her. I warned you to leave her alone, that she was family. But you did it, anyway.”
Jack was torn. On the one hand, he was glad Larissa had someone looking out for her. On the other, he didn’t want to get hit in the face again.
“We’re both adults.”
“She’s like a sister to me. Sister trumps being an adult.” Kenny’s mouth twisted. “You’re going to break her heart.”
“She wants to get over me. This is her way of doing that.”
Kenny glared at him. “Don’t try that bullshit on me. She’s crazy about you. Has been forever. Now you’re making it worse. This is going to end badly for all of us. Have you thought about that? The consequences? You could destroy what we have.”
Jack hadn’t thought about that, nor did he want to. “I care about her. I won’t hurt her.” But even as he said the words, he wondered if he was lying. Because he couldn’t give Larissa what she wanted. Or if he could, he wouldn’t. Because he wouldn’t take the risk.
“She’ll figure out I’m not the one for her,” he said at last. “She’ll find someone else. You’ll see.”
Kenny shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re that stupid, but sure. Go ahead. I can’t stop you. But when this all hits the fan, I’ll be on her side.”
Something for which Jack could be grateful.
* * *
“I STILL DON’T understand,” Larissa said. She was snuggled in Jack’s huge bed. Percy was in his room and the chiweenies were curled up asleep on their beds in the corner of the master bedroom.
Ever since she’d arrived earlier that evening, Jack hadn’t answered any of her questions about why Kenny had come over and hit him.
“There’s nothing much to understand,” Jack told her. “Kenny’s afraid I’m going to hurt you.”
“Did you tell him this was my plan? That I’m doing my best to get over you?”
“He didn’t seem to appreciate the argument.”
At this moment, Kenny’s concern made sense. Naked and satiated from Jack’s lovemaking, she couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else. But she had to give it time. Eventually Jack would start to get on her nerves and then she would be free of him.
Jack pulled her close and kissed her. “Just let it go and be grateful he’s looking out for you.”
She studied the bruise on Jack’s jaw. “He could have hurt you. Percy said you didn’t try to defend yourself.”
“I knew I had it coming.”
Which was so like Jack, she thought with a sigh. Yup, getting over him was getting further away by the minute.
* * *
“THIS IS DANGEROUS,” Bailey said as she held on to both leashes. “You knew that and asked us to help you, anyway.”
Larissa laughed. “They’re small dogs. I think you’re safe.”
Her friend glared at her. “You know that’s not what I’m talking about. Look at her.”
Up ahead, Chloe held the leash of one of the chiweenies. The eight-year-old girl and the little dog looked adorable together.
“I see a happy child and a cute dog.”
“Exactly. I’m just thinking about buying my first house. Why on earth would I take on the responsibility of a dog right now?”
“It’s not like she’s going to eat much. And having a dog will teach Chloe responsibility.”
Bailey rolled her eyes. “You’re no help. I work all day and Chloe’s in school. Is that fair to the dog?”
She had Larissa there. “You could ask Mayor Marsha how she would feel if you brought your dog to work with you.”
“That’s professional,” Bailey grumbled. “She’ll be so impressed. We’re not getting a dog. Not right now.”
“If you say so.” Larissa wasn’t concerned. There was plenty of interest in the chiweenies. “I’m not trying to push you into taking a dog.”
Bailey looked at her daughter and sighed. “You don’t have to. It’s going to happen, anyway.”
They reached the park and started along the path. The morning was warm and clear. Larissa was spending her days doing work she loved and her nights in Jack’s bed. Percy was excited about studying for his GED, and she’d helped rescue dogs in need. How could anything be better?
“Tell me about the house you’re buying,” Larissa said. “You’d said you were thinking about it but I didn’t know it had gone further.”
Bailey smiled. “It’s so cool. There’s a program in town where people can apply for a grant that gives them the money for a down payment. I had to fill out a bunch of paperwork and then be interviewed by this lady at the bank. The amount of the down payment depends on my salary and credit history. Chloe and I qualified.”
“That’s great,” Larissa told her. “So you’ve found a house you like?”
“Maybe. There’s a cute little Craftsman in the older part of town. It needs fixing up, but I’m okay with that. There’s a darling upstairs bedroom that Chloe completely loves, and there’s a small study for us to share as an office.”
“Congratulations.”
“Don’t congratulate me yet. I’m still thinking about it. A mortgage is a big thing to take on by myself. It’s scary to think about.”
“It’s a lot of responsibility,” Larissa said, impressed by her friend’s willingness to handle so much on her own. For a second Larissa wondered when she’d been inclined to take on anything close. Her involvements tended to be fleeting. She gave intensely, then moved on. Dyna was her first ever pet. She certainly didn’t have a child to care for and her family’s needs were minimal. The only person she really had to worry about was herself.
The realization took a little joy from the day.
“Ladies.”
She turned and saw Kenny jogging toward them. Her pleasure at seeing him was tempered by the memory of what he’d done to Jack. Of course, he’d done it for her, so could she really be mad at him?
“Hi, Kenny,” Chloe called and hurried toward him. “I haven’t seen you in a long time.”
“Hey, munchkin. How’s your knot tying?”
“Excellent. I have my bead. I can show you.”
He stopped and squatted down to pat the dog. “I’d like to see it.”
Bailey cleared her throat. “Hi. Chloe told me you helped her last spring. With the knots. Thanks for that.”
He waved away her words. “No problem. So who’s this pretty girl?”
“She’s one of Larissa’s chiweenies. We’re walking them today. They don’t have homes.” Chloe stared at her mother. “It’s sad when puppies don’t have a home.”
Larissa winced. “Sorry,” she muttered.
Bailey shrugged. “I’ll deal.”
Kenny stood. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”
There would be hell to pay later for all that. He was sure of it. But whatever the price, his twenty-four hours with her had been worth it. He’d enjoyed every second of his time with her. The sex had been incredible, but it had been more than that. It had been about connecting with her in a way they hadn’t before. About being with her.
For a second he allowed himself to wonder what if. What if he could be like everyone else? What if he was willing to believe? Foolish questions. Because he wasn’t. He’d lost Lucas and on the heels of that, his parents had gone away. They’d told him he would be fine, but that had been about them assuaging their own consciences. They hadn’t wanted to know their only living son needed them. Their need to escape the pain of what they’d been through had been stronger than their love for him. He got that. He even understood the logic. But he couldn’t forgive and he sure as hell couldn’t forget.
He’d vowed never to care that deeply again, and he hadn’t. With Taryn, he’d liked her a lot, but there hadn’t been love. Not beyond friendship. When she’d turned up pregnant, he’d known he was going to have to suck it up and give his heart to their baby. He’d been willing to take the risk. But then she’d miscarried and the moment had been lost.
He had a good life, he reminded himself. People he cared about and who cared about him. The relationships he had these days were safe. They would last. There wasn’t anything on the line so there wasn’t anything to lose.
Percy got up. “I’ll be right back,” he said and headed up the stairs. Two of the dogs opened their eyes and watched him go, but they didn’t move.
Percy returned with a book in his hand. He gave it to Jack and sat on the sofa.
“I read it,” he said, both proud and shy. “The whole thing. Kenny’s been working with me and that software program really helped. I wasn’t as bad as I thought. I think I can do it. I want to get my GED.”
Jack patted him on the back. “Good for you. I’m glad. Congratulations on finishing the book. Let me know when you want some more. We’ll go get them.”
“Sam already took me. I’m going to work real hard, Jack. You’ve given me a great opportunity and I’m going to take advantage of it.”
“I’m glad.”
“I want to go to college. And I know what I want to do while I’m there.” He paused for effect.
Jack held in a groan. Percy looked eager as he spoke. Excited. Jack had a bad idea he knew where this was going. It made sense. He was around the three of them all day. He saw the glamorous side of the sport. But to play football professionally?
He studied the kid impersonally. Percy wasn’t big enough and he hadn’t been working on his skill set. With a lot of coaching maybe he could make a team at the community college, but his odds of going pro were about zero. That required a gift from the gods and Percy hadn’t been chosen. At least not as far as Jack could tell.
He would let him down gently, Jack told himself. Maybe run him through some drills so he could see how much work was ahead. Maybe if they went to a Pac-12 game with UCLA or Stanford, Percy could see what was expected of a—
“I want to study to be a teacher. I want to help kids like me. Kids who slip through the cracks and are sent on to the next grade, even though they’re not ready.”
Jack stared at him. “A teacher?”
“Uh-huh.”
Jack started to smile. If Larissa were here, she would take this moment to point out that despite his best efforts, he wasn’t at the center of the universe every single minute.
“That’s great,” he told Percy. “I think you’ll be a terrific teacher.” There was more to discuss. Like the fact that he should start at a community college to build up his study habits in a less competitive environment. And that Jack wanted to make sure they found the best four-year for him to transfer to. But that was for later.
“You’ve got a goal,” he told Percy. “That’s how all greatness begins.”
“Kenny says it’s all about fundamentals.”
“Kenny would say that,” Jack murmured, feeling kind of good about himself and what was happening with Percy. Was this why Larissa did it? For the sense of accomplishment and knowing she’d made a real difference? He had to admit, he liked it.
The front door opened and Kenny walked in.
Percy grinned. “We were just talking about you. I was telling Jack what you said about fundamentals.”
Jack watched his friend approach and saw the blood in the other man’s eyes. As he stood, prepared for what was coming, he had the brief thought that word traveled fast. Then a fist flew into his face and the world went dark.
* * *
“NOTHING’S BROKEN,” KENNY grumbled as he put ice into a dish towel.
Jack sat at the kitchen table and carefully felt his face. His friend was right. All the bones felt as they had before. There was swelling, but that would go down with time. On the bright side, Kenny was holding his right hand as if it hurt him. One fact the movies never mentioned when they showed those fight scenes—it hurt as much to hit as be hit.
Percy hovered in the entrance to the kitchen. “I don’t understand,” he said for fourth time. “You’re not mad at each other.”
“I was mad,” Kenny said. “I made my point and now it’s over.”
“Fighting doesn’t accomplish anything,” Percy told him.
Jack took the offered ice and put it on his jaw. “There wasn’t a fight. I was hit. There’s a difference.”
Five chiweenies danced in the kitchen, trying hard to trip anyone standing. Jack was grateful to be in the chair. His face hurt and he knew it was going to get worse before it got better.
Percy looked between the two men. “You’re not going to tell me what that was about, are you?”
“Nope,” Kenny said.
“So I should go upstairs?”
“Probably a good idea,” Jack told him.
“Whatever,” Percy muttered and left.
The chiweenies went with him. Jack had a feeling all five of them would end up on the bed, rocking out to music he was too old to understand.
When they were alone, Kenny took the chair opposite Jack’s and sat down.
“You had to sleep with her. I warned you to leave her alone, that she was family. But you did it, anyway.”
Jack was torn. On the one hand, he was glad Larissa had someone looking out for her. On the other, he didn’t want to get hit in the face again.
“We’re both adults.”
“She’s like a sister to me. Sister trumps being an adult.” Kenny’s mouth twisted. “You’re going to break her heart.”
“She wants to get over me. This is her way of doing that.”
Kenny glared at him. “Don’t try that bullshit on me. She’s crazy about you. Has been forever. Now you’re making it worse. This is going to end badly for all of us. Have you thought about that? The consequences? You could destroy what we have.”
Jack hadn’t thought about that, nor did he want to. “I care about her. I won’t hurt her.” But even as he said the words, he wondered if he was lying. Because he couldn’t give Larissa what she wanted. Or if he could, he wouldn’t. Because he wouldn’t take the risk.
“She’ll figure out I’m not the one for her,” he said at last. “She’ll find someone else. You’ll see.”
Kenny shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re that stupid, but sure. Go ahead. I can’t stop you. But when this all hits the fan, I’ll be on her side.”
Something for which Jack could be grateful.
* * *
“I STILL DON’T understand,” Larissa said. She was snuggled in Jack’s huge bed. Percy was in his room and the chiweenies were curled up asleep on their beds in the corner of the master bedroom.
Ever since she’d arrived earlier that evening, Jack hadn’t answered any of her questions about why Kenny had come over and hit him.
“There’s nothing much to understand,” Jack told her. “Kenny’s afraid I’m going to hurt you.”
“Did you tell him this was my plan? That I’m doing my best to get over you?”
“He didn’t seem to appreciate the argument.”
At this moment, Kenny’s concern made sense. Naked and satiated from Jack’s lovemaking, she couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else. But she had to give it time. Eventually Jack would start to get on her nerves and then she would be free of him.
Jack pulled her close and kissed her. “Just let it go and be grateful he’s looking out for you.”
She studied the bruise on Jack’s jaw. “He could have hurt you. Percy said you didn’t try to defend yourself.”
“I knew I had it coming.”
Which was so like Jack, she thought with a sigh. Yup, getting over him was getting further away by the minute.
* * *
“THIS IS DANGEROUS,” Bailey said as she held on to both leashes. “You knew that and asked us to help you, anyway.”
Larissa laughed. “They’re small dogs. I think you’re safe.”
Her friend glared at her. “You know that’s not what I’m talking about. Look at her.”
Up ahead, Chloe held the leash of one of the chiweenies. The eight-year-old girl and the little dog looked adorable together.
“I see a happy child and a cute dog.”
“Exactly. I’m just thinking about buying my first house. Why on earth would I take on the responsibility of a dog right now?”
“It’s not like she’s going to eat much. And having a dog will teach Chloe responsibility.”
Bailey rolled her eyes. “You’re no help. I work all day and Chloe’s in school. Is that fair to the dog?”
She had Larissa there. “You could ask Mayor Marsha how she would feel if you brought your dog to work with you.”
“That’s professional,” Bailey grumbled. “She’ll be so impressed. We’re not getting a dog. Not right now.”
“If you say so.” Larissa wasn’t concerned. There was plenty of interest in the chiweenies. “I’m not trying to push you into taking a dog.”
Bailey looked at her daughter and sighed. “You don’t have to. It’s going to happen, anyway.”
They reached the park and started along the path. The morning was warm and clear. Larissa was spending her days doing work she loved and her nights in Jack’s bed. Percy was excited about studying for his GED, and she’d helped rescue dogs in need. How could anything be better?
“Tell me about the house you’re buying,” Larissa said. “You’d said you were thinking about it but I didn’t know it had gone further.”
Bailey smiled. “It’s so cool. There’s a program in town where people can apply for a grant that gives them the money for a down payment. I had to fill out a bunch of paperwork and then be interviewed by this lady at the bank. The amount of the down payment depends on my salary and credit history. Chloe and I qualified.”
“That’s great,” Larissa told her. “So you’ve found a house you like?”
“Maybe. There’s a cute little Craftsman in the older part of town. It needs fixing up, but I’m okay with that. There’s a darling upstairs bedroom that Chloe completely loves, and there’s a small study for us to share as an office.”
“Congratulations.”
“Don’t congratulate me yet. I’m still thinking about it. A mortgage is a big thing to take on by myself. It’s scary to think about.”
“It’s a lot of responsibility,” Larissa said, impressed by her friend’s willingness to handle so much on her own. For a second Larissa wondered when she’d been inclined to take on anything close. Her involvements tended to be fleeting. She gave intensely, then moved on. Dyna was her first ever pet. She certainly didn’t have a child to care for and her family’s needs were minimal. The only person she really had to worry about was herself.
The realization took a little joy from the day.
“Ladies.”
She turned and saw Kenny jogging toward them. Her pleasure at seeing him was tempered by the memory of what he’d done to Jack. Of course, he’d done it for her, so could she really be mad at him?
“Hi, Kenny,” Chloe called and hurried toward him. “I haven’t seen you in a long time.”
“Hey, munchkin. How’s your knot tying?”
“Excellent. I have my bead. I can show you.”
He stopped and squatted down to pat the dog. “I’d like to see it.”
Bailey cleared her throat. “Hi. Chloe told me you helped her last spring. With the knots. Thanks for that.”
He waved away her words. “No problem. So who’s this pretty girl?”
“She’s one of Larissa’s chiweenies. We’re walking them today. They don’t have homes.” Chloe stared at her mother. “It’s sad when puppies don’t have a home.”
Larissa winced. “Sorry,” she muttered.
Bailey shrugged. “I’ll deal.”
Kenny stood. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”
