Until You
Page 39
“Ugh!” K.C. grumbled in disgust. Standing up, she straightened her cut off jean skirt and stalked off towards the cafeteria doors, but Madoc and I still couldn’t control ourselves.
God, he’s the best.
“K.C., wait!” I shouted after her, not really trying to bring her back.
Madoc stood up, still chuckling. “K.C., come on. It was a joke.”
But she didn’t turn around.
And we kept laughing.
Tate and I had made eye contact a few times throughout the day. The storm in her eyes had turned to a drizzle, but I didn’t spend time thinking about it.
I couldn’t. The shit between us was over. It had been over for her a long time ago, but for me, it needed to end pronto.
Themes class passed peacefully, but Penley had us arrange our desks in circles, so I had a perfect view of Tate sitting across from me. Every once in a while, I would catch her glancing at me, the thoughts behind her eyes unclear.
We’d just moved our desks back into the regular position, and Mrs. Penley was talking about monologues that we were supposed to perform in the next two weeks. I was ready to just get the hell out of here and take Madman to the lake. Poor dog had been ignored lately with my work, school, and being gone on the weekends. Sometimes I took him with me when I spent time with Jax, but sleeping in my bed was usually the only time I got to hang out with him.
It briefly crossed my mind to see if Tate wanted to take him sometimes—give the guy some extra attention—but I pushed that thought out of my head right away.
We weren’t friends, and I wasn’t asking her for shit.
As if reading my thoughts, I noticed her shift in her seat, and I looked up to see her turned around, staring at me.
She blinked, looked down, and back up again like she was sad, lost, and something else. Something like regret or despair. Why was she sad? I narrowed my eyes, and tried to look away. I didn’t need to know what was going on with her.
“Now, class,” Penley spoke, her attention still focused on the piece of paper she wrote on. “Don’t forget that the anti-bullying assembly is on the twenty-ninth. Instead of going to first period, go to—”
Tate’s hand shot up. “Mrs. Penley,” she interrupted.
The teacher looked up. “Yes, Tate?”
“We have five minutes left of class.” Her voice was polite. “May I perform my monologue now?”
What the hell?
This project wasn’t due for a while, and everyone’s eyes, including Penley’s, bugged out.
What the hell was Tate doing?
“Um, well, I wasn’t expecting to grade anything yet. Do you have your essay ready?” Penley asked.
“No, I’ll have that by the due date, but I would really love to perform it now. Please.”
My teeth ground together.
“Okay.” Penley let out a reluctant sigh. “If you’re sure you’re ready…”
Great.
The last thing I wanted to do right now was look at Tate or hear her voice. Mostly because I knew it would be a struggle to not watch her.
Noise. Space. Distraction.
Slouching in my seat, I stretched out my legs and crossed my ankles. Picking up my pen, I pressed my pen onto my notebook paper and started drawing three dimensional cubes.
“I like storms,” I heard her start, but I kept my eyes trained on the lines I drew. “Thunder, torrential rain, puddles, wet shoes. When the clouds roll in, I get filled with this giddy expectation.”
I pinched my eyebrows together. Tate loved the rain.
“Everything is more beautiful in the rain. Don’t ask me why.” She sounded light and natural, like she was speaking to a friend. “But it’s like this whole other realm of opportunity. I used to feel like a superhero, riding my bike over the dangerously slick roads, or maybe an Olympic athlete enduring rough trials to make it to the finish line.”
She paused, and I lifted my pen, realizing I’d been outlining the same box over and over again.
“On sunny days, as a girl, I could still wake up to that thrilled feeling. You made me giddy with expectation, just like a symphonic rainstorm. You were a tempest in the sun, the thunder in a boring, cloudless sky.”
Suspicion inched its way under my skin, and my breathing got shallow.
This wasn’t a monologue.
She continued, “I remember I’d shovel in my breakfast as fast as I could, so I could go knock on your door. We’d play all day, only coming home for food and sleep. We played hide and seek, you’d push me on the swing, or we’d climb trees.”
I couldn’t help it. My eyes snapped up to meet hers, and my f**king heart…it was like she was reaching out and squeezing it in her hand.
Tate.
Was she speaking to me?
“Being your sidekick gave me a sense of home again.” Her eyes were locked with mine. “You see, when I was ten, my mom died. She had cancer, and I lost her before I really knew her. My world felt so insecure, and I was scared. You were the person that turned things right again. With you, I became courageous and free. It was like the part of me that died with my mom came back when I met you, and I didn’t hurt anymore. Nothing hurt if I knew I had you.”
I couldn’t catch my f**king breath. Why was she doing this? I meant nothing to her.
“Then one day, out of the blue, I lost you, too. The hurt returned, and I felt sick when I saw you hating me. My rainstorm was gone, and you became cruel. There was no explanation. You were just gone. And my heart was ripped open. I missed you. I missed my mom.”
God, he’s the best.
“K.C., wait!” I shouted after her, not really trying to bring her back.
Madoc stood up, still chuckling. “K.C., come on. It was a joke.”
But she didn’t turn around.
And we kept laughing.
Tate and I had made eye contact a few times throughout the day. The storm in her eyes had turned to a drizzle, but I didn’t spend time thinking about it.
I couldn’t. The shit between us was over. It had been over for her a long time ago, but for me, it needed to end pronto.
Themes class passed peacefully, but Penley had us arrange our desks in circles, so I had a perfect view of Tate sitting across from me. Every once in a while, I would catch her glancing at me, the thoughts behind her eyes unclear.
We’d just moved our desks back into the regular position, and Mrs. Penley was talking about monologues that we were supposed to perform in the next two weeks. I was ready to just get the hell out of here and take Madman to the lake. Poor dog had been ignored lately with my work, school, and being gone on the weekends. Sometimes I took him with me when I spent time with Jax, but sleeping in my bed was usually the only time I got to hang out with him.
It briefly crossed my mind to see if Tate wanted to take him sometimes—give the guy some extra attention—but I pushed that thought out of my head right away.
We weren’t friends, and I wasn’t asking her for shit.
As if reading my thoughts, I noticed her shift in her seat, and I looked up to see her turned around, staring at me.
She blinked, looked down, and back up again like she was sad, lost, and something else. Something like regret or despair. Why was she sad? I narrowed my eyes, and tried to look away. I didn’t need to know what was going on with her.
“Now, class,” Penley spoke, her attention still focused on the piece of paper she wrote on. “Don’t forget that the anti-bullying assembly is on the twenty-ninth. Instead of going to first period, go to—”
Tate’s hand shot up. “Mrs. Penley,” she interrupted.
The teacher looked up. “Yes, Tate?”
“We have five minutes left of class.” Her voice was polite. “May I perform my monologue now?”
What the hell?
This project wasn’t due for a while, and everyone’s eyes, including Penley’s, bugged out.
What the hell was Tate doing?
“Um, well, I wasn’t expecting to grade anything yet. Do you have your essay ready?” Penley asked.
“No, I’ll have that by the due date, but I would really love to perform it now. Please.”
My teeth ground together.
“Okay.” Penley let out a reluctant sigh. “If you’re sure you’re ready…”
Great.
The last thing I wanted to do right now was look at Tate or hear her voice. Mostly because I knew it would be a struggle to not watch her.
Noise. Space. Distraction.
Slouching in my seat, I stretched out my legs and crossed my ankles. Picking up my pen, I pressed my pen onto my notebook paper and started drawing three dimensional cubes.
“I like storms,” I heard her start, but I kept my eyes trained on the lines I drew. “Thunder, torrential rain, puddles, wet shoes. When the clouds roll in, I get filled with this giddy expectation.”
I pinched my eyebrows together. Tate loved the rain.
“Everything is more beautiful in the rain. Don’t ask me why.” She sounded light and natural, like she was speaking to a friend. “But it’s like this whole other realm of opportunity. I used to feel like a superhero, riding my bike over the dangerously slick roads, or maybe an Olympic athlete enduring rough trials to make it to the finish line.”
She paused, and I lifted my pen, realizing I’d been outlining the same box over and over again.
“On sunny days, as a girl, I could still wake up to that thrilled feeling. You made me giddy with expectation, just like a symphonic rainstorm. You were a tempest in the sun, the thunder in a boring, cloudless sky.”
Suspicion inched its way under my skin, and my breathing got shallow.
This wasn’t a monologue.
She continued, “I remember I’d shovel in my breakfast as fast as I could, so I could go knock on your door. We’d play all day, only coming home for food and sleep. We played hide and seek, you’d push me on the swing, or we’d climb trees.”
I couldn’t help it. My eyes snapped up to meet hers, and my f**king heart…it was like she was reaching out and squeezing it in her hand.
Tate.
Was she speaking to me?
“Being your sidekick gave me a sense of home again.” Her eyes were locked with mine. “You see, when I was ten, my mom died. She had cancer, and I lost her before I really knew her. My world felt so insecure, and I was scared. You were the person that turned things right again. With you, I became courageous and free. It was like the part of me that died with my mom came back when I met you, and I didn’t hurt anymore. Nothing hurt if I knew I had you.”
I couldn’t catch my f**king breath. Why was she doing this? I meant nothing to her.
“Then one day, out of the blue, I lost you, too. The hurt returned, and I felt sick when I saw you hating me. My rainstorm was gone, and you became cruel. There was no explanation. You were just gone. And my heart was ripped open. I missed you. I missed my mom.”
