Until You
Page 96
Yeah.
Tate needed to trust me. We were still working on that, and I could’ve gotten into trouble last night. She would’ve been worried and pissed if anything had happened to me, or I’d done something stupid.
I’m sure she was also still insecure about anything that she imagined went down between K.C. and I. Me being in the same place as her friend, without her, would piss her off.
I barreled down the hallway, ready to yank her out of Calculus, but I slowed when I got caught by the masses in the school all headed the same direction.
The crowd was a mess of people walking, yelling, and whispering. I saw some still looking at their phones—the video, no doubt—and some people were calling my name, but I ignored them.
Where the f**k was everyone going?
And that’s when I remembered.
The auditorium.
We were having that assembly this morning.
On bullying.
I ran my fingers through my hair, hard enough to massage my scalp, and let out a long, tired breath.
Great. I think I’d enjoy cutting off my arm and rubbing salt in it more.
Dammit.
I charged and weaved as quickly as I could through the long line of students trying to make their way through the two sets of double doors to the auditorium.
“Jared,” someone called out, but I waved them off without looking.
Tate was in here somewhere, so I scanned the rows as I walked down the aisles. We boasted about two thousand students at our school, but the freshmen were at a separate assembly in the gym, so this crowd wasn’t as thick as it usually was.
Looking for blonde hair was a nightmare. I’d really never noticed how many blondes we had until now.
But I knew Tate.
And I’d know her when I saw her, so I surveyed quickly before we were ordered to sit down.
Walking down the center aisle and back up, I felt my heart race when I saw her purple Chuck poking into the center aisle. Her legs were crossed, and one foot darted out of the row.
Quickly, I walked up the violet colored carpet path and placed my hands on her arm rest, leaning down.
“We need to talk.” I spoke low. “Now.”
Her blue eyes narrowed on me, and my mouth went dry.
My voice had sounded like a warning, and I was just digging myself in deeper here.
Calm down, man. My stomach tightened, and I didn’t know if I liked the drama, or if I was just so used to it. But it was something I did well, so I engaged her.
This wasn’t the time or place, but f**k it.
“Now, you want to talk,” she taunted, and I noticed Jess Cullen, her cross-country captain, sitting next to her, completely still as she watched us.
Tate stared ahead, refusing to look at me. “You get to react and behave without any by-your-leave from anyone else, but I’m supposed to drop my shit when you want my attention.”
It wasn’t a question. It was an assessment.
“Tatum—”
“Now I’m Tatum,” she sneered and looked at Jess. “Funny how that works, isn’t it?” she asked.
“What are you mad about? Last night wasn’t to hurt you.”
I gripped the arm rest tighter. I loved her anger. Always had.
Our first kiss on the sink ledge, and I was hers.
But, right now, she wasn’t angry so much as she was distant. Her chin was tipped down, and she still hadn’t looked at me.
That, I didn’t like.
“You don’t involve me,” she spoke, barely unclenching her teeth. “You don’t share anything with me until you run the risk of losing me. Everything is on your terms…on your schedule. I’m always on the outside, and I have to push my way in.”
Her face was as hard as stone as she gazed out in front of her. “I’ll talk to you, Jared. Just not now. And not for a while. I need some time to think.”
“To come to your own conclusions,” I accused.
“No choice when I’m the only one in the relationship. You humiliated me in the hallway before. Again! You throw me under the bus for your own amusement. When have you ever sacrificed yourself for me?” her calm voice spit back at me.
Air poured in and out of my lungs, thick and painful.
I’d barely gotten her back.
She doubted me. Doubted my commitment to her.
And how could I blame her?
Why should she trust me? I’d told her I loved her. I’d tried to show her. But I’d never shown her that I would put her first.
She’d seen me with my hands all over a ton of girls that weren’t her.
She’d felt the pain, time and again, as I’d thrown her to the wolves and made her a joke in front of everyone.
She’d seen me delight in her tears and isolation.
At that moment, the full consequences of my actions descended on my body like a pile of garbage, and I was buried.
Son of a bitch.
How had she ever forgiven me at all?
“Everyone get seated,” a male voice, probably the principal, shouted over the mic, and I finally blinked.
I’m always on the outside, and I have to push my way in.
I kept telling myself that she was mine.
And I’d told her that I had always been hers.
But she didn’t feel it.
With my heart jackhammering through my chest and a fog in my head, convincing me not to think about what I was going to do, I walked down the aisle and climbed the stairs up to the stage.
Principal Masters twisted his head towards me, away from the audience.
His graying brownish hair was slicked back, and his gray suit was already wrinkled. This guy didn’t like me, but he’d cut me a lot of breaks over the years, thanks to Madoc and his father.
Tate needed to trust me. We were still working on that, and I could’ve gotten into trouble last night. She would’ve been worried and pissed if anything had happened to me, or I’d done something stupid.
I’m sure she was also still insecure about anything that she imagined went down between K.C. and I. Me being in the same place as her friend, without her, would piss her off.
I barreled down the hallway, ready to yank her out of Calculus, but I slowed when I got caught by the masses in the school all headed the same direction.
The crowd was a mess of people walking, yelling, and whispering. I saw some still looking at their phones—the video, no doubt—and some people were calling my name, but I ignored them.
Where the f**k was everyone going?
And that’s when I remembered.
The auditorium.
We were having that assembly this morning.
On bullying.
I ran my fingers through my hair, hard enough to massage my scalp, and let out a long, tired breath.
Great. I think I’d enjoy cutting off my arm and rubbing salt in it more.
Dammit.
I charged and weaved as quickly as I could through the long line of students trying to make their way through the two sets of double doors to the auditorium.
“Jared,” someone called out, but I waved them off without looking.
Tate was in here somewhere, so I scanned the rows as I walked down the aisles. We boasted about two thousand students at our school, but the freshmen were at a separate assembly in the gym, so this crowd wasn’t as thick as it usually was.
Looking for blonde hair was a nightmare. I’d really never noticed how many blondes we had until now.
But I knew Tate.
And I’d know her when I saw her, so I surveyed quickly before we were ordered to sit down.
Walking down the center aisle and back up, I felt my heart race when I saw her purple Chuck poking into the center aisle. Her legs were crossed, and one foot darted out of the row.
Quickly, I walked up the violet colored carpet path and placed my hands on her arm rest, leaning down.
“We need to talk.” I spoke low. “Now.”
Her blue eyes narrowed on me, and my mouth went dry.
My voice had sounded like a warning, and I was just digging myself in deeper here.
Calm down, man. My stomach tightened, and I didn’t know if I liked the drama, or if I was just so used to it. But it was something I did well, so I engaged her.
This wasn’t the time or place, but f**k it.
“Now, you want to talk,” she taunted, and I noticed Jess Cullen, her cross-country captain, sitting next to her, completely still as she watched us.
Tate stared ahead, refusing to look at me. “You get to react and behave without any by-your-leave from anyone else, but I’m supposed to drop my shit when you want my attention.”
It wasn’t a question. It was an assessment.
“Tatum—”
“Now I’m Tatum,” she sneered and looked at Jess. “Funny how that works, isn’t it?” she asked.
“What are you mad about? Last night wasn’t to hurt you.”
I gripped the arm rest tighter. I loved her anger. Always had.
Our first kiss on the sink ledge, and I was hers.
But, right now, she wasn’t angry so much as she was distant. Her chin was tipped down, and she still hadn’t looked at me.
That, I didn’t like.
“You don’t involve me,” she spoke, barely unclenching her teeth. “You don’t share anything with me until you run the risk of losing me. Everything is on your terms…on your schedule. I’m always on the outside, and I have to push my way in.”
Her face was as hard as stone as she gazed out in front of her. “I’ll talk to you, Jared. Just not now. And not for a while. I need some time to think.”
“To come to your own conclusions,” I accused.
“No choice when I’m the only one in the relationship. You humiliated me in the hallway before. Again! You throw me under the bus for your own amusement. When have you ever sacrificed yourself for me?” her calm voice spit back at me.
Air poured in and out of my lungs, thick and painful.
I’d barely gotten her back.
She doubted me. Doubted my commitment to her.
And how could I blame her?
Why should she trust me? I’d told her I loved her. I’d tried to show her. But I’d never shown her that I would put her first.
She’d seen me with my hands all over a ton of girls that weren’t her.
She’d felt the pain, time and again, as I’d thrown her to the wolves and made her a joke in front of everyone.
She’d seen me delight in her tears and isolation.
At that moment, the full consequences of my actions descended on my body like a pile of garbage, and I was buried.
Son of a bitch.
How had she ever forgiven me at all?
“Everyone get seated,” a male voice, probably the principal, shouted over the mic, and I finally blinked.
I’m always on the outside, and I have to push my way in.
I kept telling myself that she was mine.
And I’d told her that I had always been hers.
But she didn’t feel it.
With my heart jackhammering through my chest and a fog in my head, convincing me not to think about what I was going to do, I walked down the aisle and climbed the stairs up to the stage.
Principal Masters twisted his head towards me, away from the audience.
His graying brownish hair was slicked back, and his gray suit was already wrinkled. This guy didn’t like me, but he’d cut me a lot of breaks over the years, thanks to Madoc and his father.
