Up In Smoke
Page 55
He held open the shower door for me, following me as I entered. ‘‘What’s wrong? Who was that at the door?’’
‘‘Jian.’’ He gave me an earthy-smelling soap and a loofah, taking another for himself.
I dutifully scrubbed the gold dust off myself, my feelings conflicted—part of me wanted to shove away the sea sponge he was using and lather him up with my hands, stroking the entire length of his wet, soapy body, the other part of me shying away from the thought of another lovemaking session that would end with me losing yet another piece of myself to the dragon shard. I dragged my mind back from that subject to more important matters. ‘‘The red wyvern’s bodyguard? What’s he doing here?’’
He tossed his sponge to the side, stepping out of the shower, grabbing a towel to briskly dry himself. ‘‘He wants our help.’’
‘‘Our help with what?’’ I asked, hurriedly rinsing off, following Gabriel out of the shower. I accepted the towel he tossed my way, going to the door as he strode out into his bedroom, heading for a bank of closets that lined one wall.
‘‘He wants us to rescue his mother.’’
A chill swept over me that had nothing to do with the balmy ocean air striking my wet flesh.
Gabriel’s mouth was grim as he grabbed a shirt. ‘‘He wants us to bring Chuan Ren back from Abaddon.’’
Chapter Eighteen
He came to me in the shadow world.
I felt his presence before I saw it, a warm glow of lightness filling me as I huddled in a dark corner of what was, in the mortal world, the hotel lobby. Faint, vague shadows passed in and around me, echoes of human reality, visible in my world, but not really tangible. Nothing was. Nothing touched me.
Until Gabriel found me.
He sat next to me, his image all that he could project into the shadow world, but even though his body remained in the mortal world, the dragon-heart shard was aware that he was close.
‘‘Do you want to tell me about it?’’ he asked, his voice mild.
‘‘The reason I ran from you, you mean?’’
He shook his head. Even here, his eyes were brilliant, glittering with so much emotion, they seemed to glow. ‘‘I know why you ran. It is part of the mating ritual. Females lead; males follow. What I want to know is why you are filled with so much fear and loathing.’’
I rested my chin on my knees, my arms wrapped around my legs. I didn’t need to look at him to know he was hurt by my apparent rejection. ‘‘I don’t loathe anyone. Well, perhaps Magoth, but that’s natural, given the situation.’’
He was silent for a moment. ‘‘No, it is there; I can still sense it. You are afraid, desperately afraid of something, but there is also a self-loathing that completely baffles me. It was not there before. What has happened that you don’t like yourself, Mayling? What has frightened you? More importantly, why do you feel you cannot turn to me for help?’’
The fabric of my jeans was rough under my cheek as I tipped my head slightly, not soft and warm, as I knew Gabriel was. I wished with every ounce of my being that it was his chest my head rested on, the soft hairs tickling me as I breathed in his wonderful scent, my lips seeking out the silken stretches of skin as I kissed a path to his ticklish ribs, smiling a little to myself as he squirmed beneath my caresses, knowing how his little intakes of breath as I kissed his belly would change to groans of arousal as I slid down his body, my hands and mouth intent on bringing him to the very edge of pleasure even as I burst into a nova of ecstasy—no!
I jerked to the side, horrified that even in the shadow world, my world, the dragon shard had such a grip on me, it could override my reason.
‘‘You do not want me,’’ Gabriel said, his voice cold and lifeless. ‘‘You recoil from me.’’
It took me a moment to get a grip on my rampant emotions, and in the space of that moment, Gabriel withdrew, not physically, but emotionally.
‘‘Do you seriously believe that I can burn down an entire floor of a hotel while engaged in lovemaking with you, and not want you? Gabriel, it’s taking every ounce of strength I possess to keep from flinging myself on you and licking every square inch of your really incredibly hot body.’’
Animation returned to his face as he considered that for a moment. ‘‘Why would you not wish to fling yourself upon me? Have I done something to offend you? Are you upset because I asked Maata to accompany you to Italy?’’
‘‘No, although I’d like to point out that we would have been just fine on our own. And you haven’t done anything to offend me. It’s not you at all . . . it’s me.’’ I took a deep breath, dreading what I had to say. ‘‘Gabriel, I can’t have sex with you anymore.’’
‘‘If you are worried about Magoth—’’ he started to say.
‘‘No, I’m not worried about him. Well, that’s not strictly true, I am a bit concerned about what he’s up to that he feels he can’t have Sally around to see. Not to mention why he suddenly gave your people the slip.’’
‘‘I told you that I would find him again. You must have faith in the silver dragons—we might not have the innate tracking ability of the blue dragons, but we are not stupid. He cannot hide from us for long.’’
‘‘I know you’ll track him down again, and I’m not worried in the sense you mean. This doesn’t have anything to do with keeping you safe from Magoth.’’
‘‘Then what has caused this change in you?’’ he asked, a rough edge to his voice. ‘‘Yesterday, you could not get enough of me.’’
I was silent as I slowly straightened up. ‘‘That is the reason why, I’m afraid.’’
He frowned. ‘‘I admit to being completely confused. Your physical attraction to me is not a good thing?’’
‘‘My physical attraction to you is a very good thing,’’ I corrected. ‘‘But my inability to control myself around you isn’t. Haven’t you noticed anything different the last couple of times we made love?’’
‘‘Well . . .’’ He grinned. ‘‘You seem to have lost your ability to control my fire. And you seem a bit more . . . intense.’’
‘‘Jian.’’ He gave me an earthy-smelling soap and a loofah, taking another for himself.
I dutifully scrubbed the gold dust off myself, my feelings conflicted—part of me wanted to shove away the sea sponge he was using and lather him up with my hands, stroking the entire length of his wet, soapy body, the other part of me shying away from the thought of another lovemaking session that would end with me losing yet another piece of myself to the dragon shard. I dragged my mind back from that subject to more important matters. ‘‘The red wyvern’s bodyguard? What’s he doing here?’’
He tossed his sponge to the side, stepping out of the shower, grabbing a towel to briskly dry himself. ‘‘He wants our help.’’
‘‘Our help with what?’’ I asked, hurriedly rinsing off, following Gabriel out of the shower. I accepted the towel he tossed my way, going to the door as he strode out into his bedroom, heading for a bank of closets that lined one wall.
‘‘He wants us to rescue his mother.’’
A chill swept over me that had nothing to do with the balmy ocean air striking my wet flesh.
Gabriel’s mouth was grim as he grabbed a shirt. ‘‘He wants us to bring Chuan Ren back from Abaddon.’’
Chapter Eighteen
He came to me in the shadow world.
I felt his presence before I saw it, a warm glow of lightness filling me as I huddled in a dark corner of what was, in the mortal world, the hotel lobby. Faint, vague shadows passed in and around me, echoes of human reality, visible in my world, but not really tangible. Nothing was. Nothing touched me.
Until Gabriel found me.
He sat next to me, his image all that he could project into the shadow world, but even though his body remained in the mortal world, the dragon-heart shard was aware that he was close.
‘‘Do you want to tell me about it?’’ he asked, his voice mild.
‘‘The reason I ran from you, you mean?’’
He shook his head. Even here, his eyes were brilliant, glittering with so much emotion, they seemed to glow. ‘‘I know why you ran. It is part of the mating ritual. Females lead; males follow. What I want to know is why you are filled with so much fear and loathing.’’
I rested my chin on my knees, my arms wrapped around my legs. I didn’t need to look at him to know he was hurt by my apparent rejection. ‘‘I don’t loathe anyone. Well, perhaps Magoth, but that’s natural, given the situation.’’
He was silent for a moment. ‘‘No, it is there; I can still sense it. You are afraid, desperately afraid of something, but there is also a self-loathing that completely baffles me. It was not there before. What has happened that you don’t like yourself, Mayling? What has frightened you? More importantly, why do you feel you cannot turn to me for help?’’
The fabric of my jeans was rough under my cheek as I tipped my head slightly, not soft and warm, as I knew Gabriel was. I wished with every ounce of my being that it was his chest my head rested on, the soft hairs tickling me as I breathed in his wonderful scent, my lips seeking out the silken stretches of skin as I kissed a path to his ticklish ribs, smiling a little to myself as he squirmed beneath my caresses, knowing how his little intakes of breath as I kissed his belly would change to groans of arousal as I slid down his body, my hands and mouth intent on bringing him to the very edge of pleasure even as I burst into a nova of ecstasy—no!
I jerked to the side, horrified that even in the shadow world, my world, the dragon shard had such a grip on me, it could override my reason.
‘‘You do not want me,’’ Gabriel said, his voice cold and lifeless. ‘‘You recoil from me.’’
It took me a moment to get a grip on my rampant emotions, and in the space of that moment, Gabriel withdrew, not physically, but emotionally.
‘‘Do you seriously believe that I can burn down an entire floor of a hotel while engaged in lovemaking with you, and not want you? Gabriel, it’s taking every ounce of strength I possess to keep from flinging myself on you and licking every square inch of your really incredibly hot body.’’
Animation returned to his face as he considered that for a moment. ‘‘Why would you not wish to fling yourself upon me? Have I done something to offend you? Are you upset because I asked Maata to accompany you to Italy?’’
‘‘No, although I’d like to point out that we would have been just fine on our own. And you haven’t done anything to offend me. It’s not you at all . . . it’s me.’’ I took a deep breath, dreading what I had to say. ‘‘Gabriel, I can’t have sex with you anymore.’’
‘‘If you are worried about Magoth—’’ he started to say.
‘‘No, I’m not worried about him. Well, that’s not strictly true, I am a bit concerned about what he’s up to that he feels he can’t have Sally around to see. Not to mention why he suddenly gave your people the slip.’’
‘‘I told you that I would find him again. You must have faith in the silver dragons—we might not have the innate tracking ability of the blue dragons, but we are not stupid. He cannot hide from us for long.’’
‘‘I know you’ll track him down again, and I’m not worried in the sense you mean. This doesn’t have anything to do with keeping you safe from Magoth.’’
‘‘Then what has caused this change in you?’’ he asked, a rough edge to his voice. ‘‘Yesterday, you could not get enough of me.’’
I was silent as I slowly straightened up. ‘‘That is the reason why, I’m afraid.’’
He frowned. ‘‘I admit to being completely confused. Your physical attraction to me is not a good thing?’’
‘‘My physical attraction to you is a very good thing,’’ I corrected. ‘‘But my inability to control myself around you isn’t. Haven’t you noticed anything different the last couple of times we made love?’’
‘‘Well . . .’’ He grinned. ‘‘You seem to have lost your ability to control my fire. And you seem a bit more . . . intense.’’
