Up to Me
Page 41
Holy cousin of brain damage! Marissa’s had a stroke.
That’s the only plausible explanation. The. Only. One. People like her don’t suffer crises of conscience. People like her don’t have changes of heart. People like her don’t have hearts period.
But as I look into her eyes, I’m struck again by how sincere she seems. She appears to be genuinely contrite, genuinely distressed about this.
“It wasn’t that big of a deal, Marissa. Don’t stress over it. I think you just need to go back home and get some rest.”
“No, I don’t. I don’t need rest. I need to know you forgive me. And then I need to talk to him,” she says, looking back over her shoulder at Nash. I don’t think she’s even spared Cash a glance since she walked in.
I wonder what she thinks, what she knows.
“Where is my daughter?”
My heart sinks when I hear that voice. I glance at Cash. Even from across the room, I see him stiffen.
My first inclination is to hide under the covers. That, of course, is not an option. The best I can do is sit up nice and straight and take it like a woman, a woman who is old enough to make her own decisions.
Mom stops in the bedroom doorway and stares at both Cash and Nash. It’s a withering glare that would make my balls shrivel. If I had any, that is. I guess I’m having sympathy ball shriveling. It’s not a good feeling.
Nash steps slightly to the side, giving her a wide berth as she enters the room. Cash doesn’t move at all, but to extend his hand.
“I’m Cash Davenport. You must be Olivia’s mother.”
“And why must I be? I’m sure she’s told you nothing about me. If she had, you’d know better than to pull a stunt like this with my daughter.”
“It’s enough that I know your daughter. It speaks highly of you that you gave birth to and helped raise someone like her.”
“If you think so much of my daughter, why is she in this position?”
“She’s in this position because she’s a good person who wanted to help someone. Who wanted to help me. She’s here because I’m trying to keep her safe.”
“Well, you’ve done a bang up job so far,” my mother snaps, pushing past him and making her way to me. I see Cash’s jaw clench before my chin is in my mother’s palm, my face being examined. “Are you hurt?”
“No, Mom. I’m fine. Cash and Gavin found me and took care of everything.”
“Cash, Gavin, Gabe. Where do you meet this trash? I thought getting out of Salt Springs would be good for you, but you might just be the kind of girl that falls for this…type no matter where you live.”
“Mom, I didn’t—”
“I see that Olivia’s mother made it.” I peek around my mother. Gavin has appeared in the bedroom doorway as well.
Next time I’m having an impromptu toga party so I can be the only appropriately dressed person in the room.
“And you! You’re the one that got her in this mess in the first place. If you’d simply driven her to school like she’d asked you to do…”
Gavin hangs his head at that, mainly because she’s right.
“You can’t blame him for that, Mom. He thought he was doing the right thing. Which he obviously was, since that’s where I was attacked.”
Mom turns her icy eyes back on me. “Honestly, have you no shame? No pride? No sense of self-worth? Letting people like this tell you what to do, get you into trouble? Whoring around with men like this?”
“That’s enough!” Cash booms from behind her. “She may be your daughter, but that doesn’t give you the right to talk to her like that.”
“Oh yes it does. The only person out of line here is you. I assume you’re the one she’s shacked up with? You’re the one defiling my daughter on a regular basis? Not enough respect for her to marry her. You just use her like some cheap dime-store floozy.”
“I’m not using her. And I—”
My mother waves her hand imperiously and cuts Cash off. “I’m not interested in your excuses. I’m here to collect my daughter and get her out of your life. I’ll ask that you kindly stay out of ours.” She turns back to me and commands, “Now get dressed. You’re coming home with me.”
“No, I’m not Mom. I’m staying here. I’m a grown woman. You can’t keep treating me this way.”
“As long as you keep acting this way, I’ll keep treating you this way.”
“Acting what way? So I’ve made some mistakes, made some bad judgments. Is that so terrible? Is that so abnormal? You made mistakes and look at you. Do you think I’d make the same decisions you’ve made if it meant I’d turn out cold and miserable and alone?”
“I’m none of those things, Olivia.”
“You are, you just don’t know it. You picked the perfect man who gave you the perfect house and the perfect car and the perfect life, but you’re miserable. You loved Daddy, but you somehow got it in your head that he wasn’t good enough, that life on a farm wasn’t good enough. Well I’m not you, Mom. I’d rather have a life full of love and happiness than all the money in the world.”
“And that would be fine with me, but if you think someone like this,” she says, jacking her thumb back over her shoulder at Cash, “is the man who can give you anything but heartache, think again.”
“Mom, he risked his life to save me.”
“He’s the one who put you in danger.”
“No, I put myself in danger. I knew the risk, but I wanted to help.”
“What on earth could be so important that you’d do something so foolish, Olivia?”
“Someone’s life, mother.”
“Someone you don’t even know. Am I right?”
I pause. “Yes, but—”
“But nothing. That was yet another decision that shows you are incapable of taking care of yourself. That’s why I’m going to do it.”
“I did it for love, Mom. I did it for Cash. Because I love him. It was important to him, therefore it was important to me. Why can’t you understand that?”
“Oh, I understand that just fine. It simply means you’ve picked another doozey who will get you into a world of hurt and then leave you when you’re no longer a fun diversion. He’s worthless just like—”
“Mother, stop it!” I shout. She takes a step back as if I’d physically slapped her. “Not all guys that look a certain way or dress a certain way or act a certain way are the same. You’ve tried all my life to drive me toward the kind of guy you wanted me to be with. You made me feel as though there was something wrong with me for liking anyone who rode a motorcycle or drove a muscle car or played in a band. But there was never anything wrong with them, Mom. They just weren’t for me. I wouldn’t have wanted to end up with any of them. Not now. But you don’t see that. You don’t see that now and you didn’t see that then. You could never be like a normal mother, one who holds her daughter when she cries and tells her that one day she’ll find Mr. Right, that one day love will be worth it. That was just beyond you. You had to do your best, at every possible opportunity, to convince me that the only way I’d ever be happy would be with a guy like Lyle, one who is so focused on his job and his money that he doesn’t have time for love. But Mom, if falling in love means risking getting hurt, then I’m okay with that. Because finally, for once, I’ve found someone worth the risk. I wouldn’t have missed out on Cash for the world, Mom. Did it ever occur to you that it took all those heartbreaks, all those tears, all those failed attempts to be able to recognize something real when I found it? Can’t you just be happy for me and leave us in peace?”
That’s the only plausible explanation. The. Only. One. People like her don’t suffer crises of conscience. People like her don’t have changes of heart. People like her don’t have hearts period.
But as I look into her eyes, I’m struck again by how sincere she seems. She appears to be genuinely contrite, genuinely distressed about this.
“It wasn’t that big of a deal, Marissa. Don’t stress over it. I think you just need to go back home and get some rest.”
“No, I don’t. I don’t need rest. I need to know you forgive me. And then I need to talk to him,” she says, looking back over her shoulder at Nash. I don’t think she’s even spared Cash a glance since she walked in.
I wonder what she thinks, what she knows.
“Where is my daughter?”
My heart sinks when I hear that voice. I glance at Cash. Even from across the room, I see him stiffen.
My first inclination is to hide under the covers. That, of course, is not an option. The best I can do is sit up nice and straight and take it like a woman, a woman who is old enough to make her own decisions.
Mom stops in the bedroom doorway and stares at both Cash and Nash. It’s a withering glare that would make my balls shrivel. If I had any, that is. I guess I’m having sympathy ball shriveling. It’s not a good feeling.
Nash steps slightly to the side, giving her a wide berth as she enters the room. Cash doesn’t move at all, but to extend his hand.
“I’m Cash Davenport. You must be Olivia’s mother.”
“And why must I be? I’m sure she’s told you nothing about me. If she had, you’d know better than to pull a stunt like this with my daughter.”
“It’s enough that I know your daughter. It speaks highly of you that you gave birth to and helped raise someone like her.”
“If you think so much of my daughter, why is she in this position?”
“She’s in this position because she’s a good person who wanted to help someone. Who wanted to help me. She’s here because I’m trying to keep her safe.”
“Well, you’ve done a bang up job so far,” my mother snaps, pushing past him and making her way to me. I see Cash’s jaw clench before my chin is in my mother’s palm, my face being examined. “Are you hurt?”
“No, Mom. I’m fine. Cash and Gavin found me and took care of everything.”
“Cash, Gavin, Gabe. Where do you meet this trash? I thought getting out of Salt Springs would be good for you, but you might just be the kind of girl that falls for this…type no matter where you live.”
“Mom, I didn’t—”
“I see that Olivia’s mother made it.” I peek around my mother. Gavin has appeared in the bedroom doorway as well.
Next time I’m having an impromptu toga party so I can be the only appropriately dressed person in the room.
“And you! You’re the one that got her in this mess in the first place. If you’d simply driven her to school like she’d asked you to do…”
Gavin hangs his head at that, mainly because she’s right.
“You can’t blame him for that, Mom. He thought he was doing the right thing. Which he obviously was, since that’s where I was attacked.”
Mom turns her icy eyes back on me. “Honestly, have you no shame? No pride? No sense of self-worth? Letting people like this tell you what to do, get you into trouble? Whoring around with men like this?”
“That’s enough!” Cash booms from behind her. “She may be your daughter, but that doesn’t give you the right to talk to her like that.”
“Oh yes it does. The only person out of line here is you. I assume you’re the one she’s shacked up with? You’re the one defiling my daughter on a regular basis? Not enough respect for her to marry her. You just use her like some cheap dime-store floozy.”
“I’m not using her. And I—”
My mother waves her hand imperiously and cuts Cash off. “I’m not interested in your excuses. I’m here to collect my daughter and get her out of your life. I’ll ask that you kindly stay out of ours.” She turns back to me and commands, “Now get dressed. You’re coming home with me.”
“No, I’m not Mom. I’m staying here. I’m a grown woman. You can’t keep treating me this way.”
“As long as you keep acting this way, I’ll keep treating you this way.”
“Acting what way? So I’ve made some mistakes, made some bad judgments. Is that so terrible? Is that so abnormal? You made mistakes and look at you. Do you think I’d make the same decisions you’ve made if it meant I’d turn out cold and miserable and alone?”
“I’m none of those things, Olivia.”
“You are, you just don’t know it. You picked the perfect man who gave you the perfect house and the perfect car and the perfect life, but you’re miserable. You loved Daddy, but you somehow got it in your head that he wasn’t good enough, that life on a farm wasn’t good enough. Well I’m not you, Mom. I’d rather have a life full of love and happiness than all the money in the world.”
“And that would be fine with me, but if you think someone like this,” she says, jacking her thumb back over her shoulder at Cash, “is the man who can give you anything but heartache, think again.”
“Mom, he risked his life to save me.”
“He’s the one who put you in danger.”
“No, I put myself in danger. I knew the risk, but I wanted to help.”
“What on earth could be so important that you’d do something so foolish, Olivia?”
“Someone’s life, mother.”
“Someone you don’t even know. Am I right?”
I pause. “Yes, but—”
“But nothing. That was yet another decision that shows you are incapable of taking care of yourself. That’s why I’m going to do it.”
“I did it for love, Mom. I did it for Cash. Because I love him. It was important to him, therefore it was important to me. Why can’t you understand that?”
“Oh, I understand that just fine. It simply means you’ve picked another doozey who will get you into a world of hurt and then leave you when you’re no longer a fun diversion. He’s worthless just like—”
“Mother, stop it!” I shout. She takes a step back as if I’d physically slapped her. “Not all guys that look a certain way or dress a certain way or act a certain way are the same. You’ve tried all my life to drive me toward the kind of guy you wanted me to be with. You made me feel as though there was something wrong with me for liking anyone who rode a motorcycle or drove a muscle car or played in a band. But there was never anything wrong with them, Mom. They just weren’t for me. I wouldn’t have wanted to end up with any of them. Not now. But you don’t see that. You don’t see that now and you didn’t see that then. You could never be like a normal mother, one who holds her daughter when she cries and tells her that one day she’ll find Mr. Right, that one day love will be worth it. That was just beyond you. You had to do your best, at every possible opportunity, to convince me that the only way I’d ever be happy would be with a guy like Lyle, one who is so focused on his job and his money that he doesn’t have time for love. But Mom, if falling in love means risking getting hurt, then I’m okay with that. Because finally, for once, I’ve found someone worth the risk. I wouldn’t have missed out on Cash for the world, Mom. Did it ever occur to you that it took all those heartbreaks, all those tears, all those failed attempts to be able to recognize something real when I found it? Can’t you just be happy for me and leave us in peace?”
