Vanish

Page 30

Rising, I move to the car and spot my sister asleep in the back, the blanket pulled to her chin. No Cassian. The night is gray-blue in color. Dawn isn’t too far off. Did he stay away all night?
Frowning, I head in the direction he took. The dense forest immediately swallows me. I’m not scared, though. Not of nature or my solitude within it. My strides eat up the forest floor, moist earth cushioned with pine needles. Twigs crunch beneath my shoes and the cracking sound gains a rhythm.
I move without thought, but my course is set, routed somewhere deep in my subconscious as I weave a purpose-filled path through the thick press of trees. I’m led by my sense of Cassian. He’s somewhere close. I feel this. Feel him. In the distance, thunder rumbles softly.
The snap is subtle. There are so many sounds around me that I don’t pay it much attention. Noises are part of the woods.
And then it comes again.
Without actually stopping, I listen, angling my face. Several twigs and leaves break beneath the pressure of something heavy. It’s no small animal. No squirrel running through the undergrowth. Not Cassian.
The flesh at my nape quivers. I stop, hold my breath, and scan the ghostly shapes of the trees on every side of me. Releasing the breath I hold in my lungs, I ease down, squatting low, making myself as small as possible.
My fingers graze the ground, preparing to push off, bolt if needed. My bones begin the familiar pull, skin straining, itching to fade out and make way for my tougher draki skin.
The sound grows louder, stomping through the foliage.
Holding myself still, shrinking small, I become part of the landscape as I wait.
At last, I see the source of the noise.
A magnificent black bear lumbers between two trees, his shiny nose snuffling low to the ground as he makes his way. The creature lifts his shiny dark head, ears perked, nostrils working as he sniffs me out, scenting the air. He detects me.
With a huff the massive bear takes several aggressive steps in my direction. I rise to my feet, hold his stare, let him sense the animal in me . . . that I’m a creature like him, ready to fight back. He dips his head, ready to charge. Our stares lock for a breathless moment. Adrenaline pumps through me fast and hard.
Suddenly there’s another sound. Cassian crashes through the trees, shouting my name as he arrives at my side. He grabs my hand. A rumbling growl erupts from Cassian’s chest. A quick glance at his face reveals that he’s half manifested. The vertical slits of his dragon eyes shudder with menace. His raw power feeds into me, makes me feel stronger. Together, we face the bear, a united front.
A moment passes as the bear continues to size us up. With a grunt, his dark, intelligent eyes slide away. He turns and continues on his way, foraging for more interesting material. I breathe easier watching him depart, admiring the ripple of his muscles beneath his thick coat of fur, relieved that neither one of us had to destroy the beautiful animal.
A smile curves my mouth as I turn to face Cassian. And that’s when I see Will. He stands just beyond us, watching us with a look I’ve never seen. Doubt. Hurt. It’s all there, passing over the carved lines of his face.
I tug my hand free from Cassian and slide it against my thigh, as if I could rub out the sensation of his touch. “Will—” I stop myself just short of asking him how long he’s been standing there, watching us. That would sound guilty, and I’ve done nothing wrong. Nothing except hide the truth.
Will points at Cassian. “How did you know she was in trouble? You were barely in the campsite for five seconds before you took off, shouting that Jacinda was in trouble . . . you knew. How?”
I stare back and forth between Cassian and Will. Cassian looks at me, conveying that this is for me to explain.
“Jacinda,” Will says my name with heavy emphasis, waiting for an answer. For the truth, as much as I don’t want it to be.
Closing my eyes, I fill my lungs with air. I knew I would have to tell him what happened at some point. “Something happened when I went back home.”
Wariness glimmers in Will’s eyes and I think he probably has a good idea of what I’m going to say. Or at least that he’s not going to like it. “What?”
“They decided to clip my wings.”
A muscle flickers in his jaw. “Did they hurt you?”
I shake my head. “No, but Mom protested and they banished her.”
“And? What else?” he prompts, knowing there’s more, that I’ve left out the hard part. “How come they didn’t go through with it and clip your wings?”
I rush out with the rest, thinking the faster I say it, the better, the less painful. “They changed their minds when Cassian offered an alternative.”
“An alternative?” Will no longer looks at me. He just locks gazes with Cassian. His profile hardens, as though he’s bracing himself.
I swallow against the lump in my throat. “Yes. As an alternative . . . he suggested that we bond.”
“Bond?” His gaze whips back to me. “As in marriage?”
“For the draki, yes, it’s much the same thing.” Only the connection can be more, can run deeper than that, can link a couple emotionally. . . .
None of this I say. Not yet. Let him digest one thing at a time.
He swings around and walks a hard line, stopping near a tree. I stare helplessly at the rigid line of his back, jump as he suddenly moves, slamming his fist into the rough bark.
I move forward, grip his arm with desperate fingers. “It was either a fake bonding or the wing clipping.” I take his hand, examine the torn and bleeding knuckles with a hiss. “Please understand, Will.”
He blows a deep breath and nods slowly, turning around. “I understand. I do.” Only he doesn’t stare at me. He looks beyond my shoulder at Cassian. “And I don’t blame you, Jacinda. A fake bonding,” he echoes with a sharp nod of his head. “It’s not real.”
My chest eases, feels less tight. Will understands. We’re going to be okay. We’re going to be fine. I believe this. Until Cassian’s deep voice intrudes and the smile slips from my lips.
“Since you’ve started, why not tell him everything, Jacinda?”
I glare at Cassian.
“What are you leaving out?” Will asks, his fingers loosening around mine, and I hate that, hate that he’s pulling away from me.
I snatch his hand back and tighten my hold. “Nothing. You know everything.” Everything that isn’t superstitious nonsense. Not every draki couple forms a connection. It’s not an absolute. Why should I bring it up? Just because I imagine that I have a better read on Cassian’s emotions lately? Just because he sensed I might be in danger?
“He wanted to know how I knew you were in trouble. Tell him why, Jacinda.”
Tension radiates from Will. He stands like a wire pulled tight, about to spring apart.
“Some say—” I clear my throat. “Some believe that once a draki couple bond a . . . connection is formed.”
“Connection?” Will cocks his head and something is inherently dangerous in the gesture, like he might spring into attack.
“An emotional connection,” I elaborate.
At first Will doesn’t speak, looks straight ahead at Cassian before he repeats, “Some believe? What do you believe? What’s true, Jacinda?”
“Well, it’s different for everyone. Not—”
“And how is it for the two of you?”
I flinch at the lash of his voice. “It’s—” I want to lie. I don’t want to hurt him, but most of all I don’t want him to think that he and I are anything less than before I bonded to Cassian. Because it can’t be true.
And yet I can’t lie. Not to Will.
With a swallow, I admit, “Since the bonding . . . there is something there. I’ve been more attuned to Cassian.”
Will nods slowly and edges away from me.
“What are you doing?” I demand with a touch of panic as he begins walking away from me.
Oh, hell, no. I haven’t gone through everything just so he can quit on us now. I turn on Cassian. “Are you happy?”
Cassian shakes his head, and what infuriates me even more is the pity I read in his eyes. “He had to be told. I’m sorry, Jac—”
“Don’t,” I bite out. “Don’t feel sorry for me. I don’t need your pity. Will and I are going to be fine.”
With that declaration, I take off after Will. He’s walking fast, cutting a swift path through the trees.
“Hey! You know there’s a bear out here somewhere,” I shout in warning.
He doesn’t respond.
“Will! Where are you going?”
I race to keep up with him. Grabbing his arm, I’m prepared to force him around when he whirls to face me.
“What am I supposed to do, Jacinda?” he explodes. “Wear a smile on my face knowing you’ve bonded with Cassian and, oh, by the way, that pretty much means you’re automatically in love with him?”
“That’s not what I said!” I flap my arms. “That’s not true!”
“Why don’t you explain it to me then?” He crosses his arms over his broad chest. “What else does emotionally connected mean?”
“Well, I would explain it if you weren’t being such a jerk!” I jab him in the chest.
He stares down at me for a long moment. A smile plays on his mouth. “Okay. Explain.”
“Since we’ve bonded I’ve just had a better read on him . . . I can sometimes sense, feel what he’s feeling. That’s it. That’s all.”
“You go around feeling what he’s feeling all the time?”
“Well, only the really intense emotions. Not every little thing.”
He still looks uncertain, so I step closer and soften my voice, trace my fingers along his tense forearm. “This doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
He steps back and drops his arms, severing our contact.
I won’t let him retreat from me. We’ve come too far. I’ll fight for us even if it’s him I have to fight. “It doesn’t affect how I feel for you. Are you going to let it affect how you feel?”
He looks down at me, his gaze a dark glitter in the night. I can’t read him. I step close, brush his hand with mine, just the slightest graze of our fingers . . . testing.
His pinky finger loops with mine and the breath I’d been holding escapes in a hush, the ache in my heart easing a bit.
“I’m here,” I remind. “With you. I left Cassian with the pride. He wasn’t part of my escape plan, remember?”
Will sighs and drags a hand through his hair. “Yeah. I know. God, Jacinda, I’m just ready for us to be together . . . with nothing getting in the way.”
I step into his arms. “We are. From now on. We’re not going to be apart ever again. We’re going to break Miram out and then it’ll be the two of us.”
“The two of us. That’d be nice.”
I exhale in relief, the insane urge to cry coming over me. Until now I didn’t realize just how worried I was that he’d turn his back on me for good when I told him the truth. It confirms everything I ever thought about him, validates that this is right. Him. Us.
We stand together, clinging to each other for several minutes. Two honks finally draw us apart.
“Tamra,” I guess.
“All right. Let’s go.” Will takes my hand and leads me to the waiting car.
“Did you two make up?” Tamra asks when we’re back inside. Either she heard the shouting or Cassian caught her up to speed.
“We’re fine,” I say, sending Tamra a warning look to drop the subject.
“We’re good,” Will adds, looking meaningfully at Cassian.
Cassian stares back unperturbed.
“Good.” Tamra nods. “Let’s get going. The sooner we rescue the little witch, the sooner we’re free.”