Visions
Page 77
“Of course.”
—
We decided to wash up at Ricky’s and then discuss the situation over breakfast. “I’ve got class at nine,” Ricky said as we headed down the hall to his apartment. “You two?”
“I don’t have any appointments,” Gabriel said. “But yes, I should be at the office by nine. Olivia can join me.”
“Thanks,” I said.
He nodded, missing the sarcasm.
“Liv?” Ricky said as he unlocked his door. “You take the shower first. I’ll—” He stopped. “Hey.”
I glanced past Ricky to see Don rising from the couch, blinking, as if he’d been dozing there.
“I came over after you took off,” Don said. “I tried calling, but you weren’t . . .” He noticed me. “Oh, Olivia. I didn’t see you—Gabriel?” He rubbed his eyes and double-checked, then frowned. “You’re covered in . . .”
“Dust. And cobwebs. It’s a long story.” I turned to Ricky. “Gabriel and I will go for breakfast at the diner up the road. We’ll hold a seat if you can make it, but it’s fine if you can’t. Just give me two minutes in the bathroom first.”
“I’ll also need—” Gabriel began.
“You look fine. We cleared the cobwebs for you.” I nodded at Don and managed what I hoped was a friendly smile. “Sorry about all this. We’ll be gone in two minutes.”
“You don’t have to—” Ricky began.
I caught his gaze and he nodded, mouthing, “Thanks,” then saying, “I’ll catch up. Go ahead and order.”
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Gabriel and I didn’t get five steps out of the apartment before he started.
“They argued last night, I presume? After Ricky told him about you?”
I nodded.
“And Ricky took off? Didn’t answer Don’s calls?”
“I guess so. He was pretty shaken up.” I turned onto the sidewalk. “He’ll work it out.”
“I’ve known the Gallaghers for almost four years, Olivia. I have never seen them argue. They simply don’t.”
“I’m not trying to cause problems.”
“But you obviously are.”
I stiffened. “Yes, obviously, because I chased poor innocent Ricky down and seduced him.”
“I am well aware of who did the chasing. For whatever reason, he wanted you, and—”
“For whatever reason?”
A pause. I didn’t look up, but I swore I could sense him searching for a path out of the quagmire.
“I meant that he found you attractive, for whatever—”
He managed to stop himself. I still scowled at him.
“The point I’m making is that he pursued you,” Gabriel said. “I realize that. But he’s made a mistake. You both have. It may seem unfair to put the onus on you for recognizing that, but he’s young—”
“He’s twenty-two, not twelve. There’s no mistake here. We’re involved in a perfectly functional relationship—”
“Functional?” His brows arched. “That sounds romantic.”
“I’m putting it in language you’ll understand, because if I did make it sound romantic, you’d mock me. I know your opinion on the subject.”
“If you think you’re in love, you’re suffering the emotional fallout from your breakup with James. I can understand that you’d be looking for that sort of thing again—”
“Umm, no. I’m not looking for that.”
He looked relieved. “Good. Then you will have no problem breaking it off—”
“I mean I’m not wildly and blindly infatuated, not that I don’t care about him. I know you’re concerned, but Ricky doesn’t discuss club business with me and I wouldn’t discuss your legal business with him. You can keep me off any Saints cases, if that helps.”
Gabriel grabbed the diner door and held it for me. “That’s not the problem.”
“Then what is?”
He didn’t reply until we were seated at the table. He opened his mouth, and the server appeared, coffeepot in hand.
“She’ll have some,” Gabriel said.
I smiled and exchanged pleasantries with the server as she filled our mugs while Gabriel looked increasingly impatient at the entire ten seconds the process took.
“It’s the commingling of professional and personal relationships that makes both Don and me uncomfortable,” Gabriel said after she left. “The Saints are my primary clients, Olivia, and many of my other clients come through them directly or through my association with them. I cannot afford to muddy these waters.”
“Then fire me.”
He pulled back. “Is that what you want?”
“No. If I did, I’d quit. The issue is not that you or Don see an actual problem. You see the potential for problems. But this isn’t about either of you. If you’re going to threaten me with dismissal, get it over with.”
“I’m not the one who mentioned it.”
“Because I beat you to it.”
The server approached with her order pad. Gabriel waved her off. I gave her a five-minute sign.
He shifted forward. “You say it’s not serious, but you’re willing to risk a good job for him. A lucrative job that you enjoy. You’ll give that up for a man you have no future with. You realize that, don’t you? Ricky isn’t James. You won’t get that life from him.”
“I don’t want another James. That’s the point.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You’re comfortable with who you are, right?”
A slight frown, confused. “Of course.”
“I’ve spent my life feeling like a cuckoo raised by robins. I grew up pretending to fit into my mother’s world, and the whole time I felt suffocated. Then I went to Cainsville, and everything changed. I met people who know who I am and don’t give a shit. Who don’t expect me to be anything other than what I am. For me, that’s huge. Being with Ricky is part of that. I have my own life. I have my own secrets. He doesn’t care. He takes what I can give, and he’s happy with it, and I’m happy with him. He’s exactly what I need right now.”
Gabriel sat there, saying nothing. I could tell myself he was processing, but in his eyes I saw anxiety and discomfort, as if he’d spent the entire monologue wishing I’d just shut up.
—
We decided to wash up at Ricky’s and then discuss the situation over breakfast. “I’ve got class at nine,” Ricky said as we headed down the hall to his apartment. “You two?”
“I don’t have any appointments,” Gabriel said. “But yes, I should be at the office by nine. Olivia can join me.”
“Thanks,” I said.
He nodded, missing the sarcasm.
“Liv?” Ricky said as he unlocked his door. “You take the shower first. I’ll—” He stopped. “Hey.”
I glanced past Ricky to see Don rising from the couch, blinking, as if he’d been dozing there.
“I came over after you took off,” Don said. “I tried calling, but you weren’t . . .” He noticed me. “Oh, Olivia. I didn’t see you—Gabriel?” He rubbed his eyes and double-checked, then frowned. “You’re covered in . . .”
“Dust. And cobwebs. It’s a long story.” I turned to Ricky. “Gabriel and I will go for breakfast at the diner up the road. We’ll hold a seat if you can make it, but it’s fine if you can’t. Just give me two minutes in the bathroom first.”
“I’ll also need—” Gabriel began.
“You look fine. We cleared the cobwebs for you.” I nodded at Don and managed what I hoped was a friendly smile. “Sorry about all this. We’ll be gone in two minutes.”
“You don’t have to—” Ricky began.
I caught his gaze and he nodded, mouthing, “Thanks,” then saying, “I’ll catch up. Go ahead and order.”
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Gabriel and I didn’t get five steps out of the apartment before he started.
“They argued last night, I presume? After Ricky told him about you?”
I nodded.
“And Ricky took off? Didn’t answer Don’s calls?”
“I guess so. He was pretty shaken up.” I turned onto the sidewalk. “He’ll work it out.”
“I’ve known the Gallaghers for almost four years, Olivia. I have never seen them argue. They simply don’t.”
“I’m not trying to cause problems.”
“But you obviously are.”
I stiffened. “Yes, obviously, because I chased poor innocent Ricky down and seduced him.”
“I am well aware of who did the chasing. For whatever reason, he wanted you, and—”
“For whatever reason?”
A pause. I didn’t look up, but I swore I could sense him searching for a path out of the quagmire.
“I meant that he found you attractive, for whatever—”
He managed to stop himself. I still scowled at him.
“The point I’m making is that he pursued you,” Gabriel said. “I realize that. But he’s made a mistake. You both have. It may seem unfair to put the onus on you for recognizing that, but he’s young—”
“He’s twenty-two, not twelve. There’s no mistake here. We’re involved in a perfectly functional relationship—”
“Functional?” His brows arched. “That sounds romantic.”
“I’m putting it in language you’ll understand, because if I did make it sound romantic, you’d mock me. I know your opinion on the subject.”
“If you think you’re in love, you’re suffering the emotional fallout from your breakup with James. I can understand that you’d be looking for that sort of thing again—”
“Umm, no. I’m not looking for that.”
He looked relieved. “Good. Then you will have no problem breaking it off—”
“I mean I’m not wildly and blindly infatuated, not that I don’t care about him. I know you’re concerned, but Ricky doesn’t discuss club business with me and I wouldn’t discuss your legal business with him. You can keep me off any Saints cases, if that helps.”
Gabriel grabbed the diner door and held it for me. “That’s not the problem.”
“Then what is?”
He didn’t reply until we were seated at the table. He opened his mouth, and the server appeared, coffeepot in hand.
“She’ll have some,” Gabriel said.
I smiled and exchanged pleasantries with the server as she filled our mugs while Gabriel looked increasingly impatient at the entire ten seconds the process took.
“It’s the commingling of professional and personal relationships that makes both Don and me uncomfortable,” Gabriel said after she left. “The Saints are my primary clients, Olivia, and many of my other clients come through them directly or through my association with them. I cannot afford to muddy these waters.”
“Then fire me.”
He pulled back. “Is that what you want?”
“No. If I did, I’d quit. The issue is not that you or Don see an actual problem. You see the potential for problems. But this isn’t about either of you. If you’re going to threaten me with dismissal, get it over with.”
“I’m not the one who mentioned it.”
“Because I beat you to it.”
The server approached with her order pad. Gabriel waved her off. I gave her a five-minute sign.
He shifted forward. “You say it’s not serious, but you’re willing to risk a good job for him. A lucrative job that you enjoy. You’ll give that up for a man you have no future with. You realize that, don’t you? Ricky isn’t James. You won’t get that life from him.”
“I don’t want another James. That’s the point.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You’re comfortable with who you are, right?”
A slight frown, confused. “Of course.”
“I’ve spent my life feeling like a cuckoo raised by robins. I grew up pretending to fit into my mother’s world, and the whole time I felt suffocated. Then I went to Cainsville, and everything changed. I met people who know who I am and don’t give a shit. Who don’t expect me to be anything other than what I am. For me, that’s huge. Being with Ricky is part of that. I have my own life. I have my own secrets. He doesn’t care. He takes what I can give, and he’s happy with it, and I’m happy with him. He’s exactly what I need right now.”
Gabriel sat there, saying nothing. I could tell myself he was processing, but in his eyes I saw anxiety and discomfort, as if he’d spent the entire monologue wishing I’d just shut up.
