Wake Up Call
Page 59
I leaned into the black leather seat and closed my eyes. I had no idea that my father had cancer and the thought made me sick. I had a feeling that not even my mother knew. All of those years he’d kept that huge secret to himself. One that had probably been eating at him and tearing him apart bit by bit as he died a little more each and every day.
Every day he had to live with the pain and face the fact that he was dying. Maybe he couldn't face the fact. Maybe that's why he was never sober. He turned to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. That was why my mother stayed. She did know the good side at one point. She spent her life waiting for the good Henry to return. The one that at one time possibly adored her and maybe even myself. I was going to be sick.
"Stop the car!" I threw my hand to my mouth as the vomit threatened to spew through my parted lips. "Stop!"
Jace quickly pulled the car over and jumped out of the car right as I managed to swing my door open and fall out on my knees. The hard gravel dug into my bony knees as the world spun around me and the vomit escaped through my parted lips. The only thing that kept me sane was the feel of Jace's strong hand rubbing the back of my head. Nothing else in the world seemed to make sense at the moment. He was the only thing that seemed real to me. The only thing keeping me alive.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," I cried. "I should have stayed with you. I did this. Everything is my fault." I brought my knees to my chin and rocked back and forth, as he continued to rub my head. "I left to keep you safe and I still managed to mess things up. I'm nothing but a-"
"No," he whispered. "None of this was your fault. You had no control over your father or your mother for that matter. You have been through so much and it's time for you to move on. This is your chance." He pulled me into his arms and fell down on the ground next to me. "This is what it feels like to be loved," he swallowed. "Let me get you home."
I stared up at him in confusion as he jumped to his feet, helped me up and back into the car. All of the color drained from his usually tanned face as he wiped the ass of his jeans off and gently reached over to buckle me in. I wanted to question what he had just meant, but I couldn't seem to form any words. Not the ones that I wanted to at least. "Okay," I whispered. Thank you."
He looked down at me while chewing on his lip in frustration. He looked as if he had something to say, but decided against it at last minute. Then without another word, he jogged to his side of the car and jumped in.
We arrived back at Jace's house to find a little silver Honda now sitting in the driveway. Jace's eyes went wide as we pulled up behind the car and Jace nervously slammed the car into park. He looked lost as his eyes focused on the figure that now sat on his front porch. It was too dark to tell, but I was almost positive that it was a woman.
"It's my sister," he whispered. "She hasn't come to my house in over three years. There has to be something wrong." He ran his hands through his hair and exhaled. "Shit."
I sat there frozen in place as he jumped out of the car and hurried over to his sister. They both stood there in silence before Jackie threw her frail arms around Jace and he pulled her into his arms. I could see Jackie's body shaking as she fell to her knees and gripped his shirt. The sight in front of me brought me to tears. I could tell even from far away that they were both crying.
I never in my life had seen a man cry and it broke my heart to pieces. Jace was the strongest person that I knew and to see him cry crushed me. He really did have the biggest heart in the world. First, he was there to take care of me and now his sister. He had to have a heart of steel to be so strong.
I waited in the car until Jace looked my direction and nodded his head.
He smiled as I stepped out of the car, popped a piece of gum in my mouth and walked over to stand in front of him and Jackie. "Go on inside and get some rest." He kissed his sister on the forehead and watched as she smiled at me and headed inside. She looked as if she had been crying for days. Her cheeks were swollen and red and she could barely even open her eyes. By looking at her, you would think that she hadn't slept in over a week. Jace really had his hands full with the both us.
I stood there feeling lost, but somewhat relieved as the door softly shut behind Jackie. Jace peered over his left shoulder to look at me. He nodded his head and then walked over to lean against the porch. His eyes scanned mine as he played with his leather jacket. "She left him, Avery." He let out a small grunt and then smiled. "She actually left that piece of shit." He looked down at the ground and a tear fell from his face. He didn't even try to hide it.
My heart raced as I ran over to him and threw my arms around him. For the first time in a long time, I was thinking about someone other than myself. "Don't cry," I breathed, wanting nothing more than to comfort him. "I don't like to see you look so..."
Jace looked up and cupped my face. "What?" he pushed.
I hid my face in his chest and gripped his jacket. I didn’t want him to see my face. "Sad," I replied. "It makes me..."
"It makes you what," he whispered, "Tell me."
"It makes me sad and breaks my heart. Okay," I muttered. "It fucking hurts me to see you sad." I looked up into his eyes as his grip suddenly tightened around me. It gave me chills.
The look on his face was unreadable as he leaned forward and softly brushed his lips against mine. "That's how I feel about you every day." He pressed his soft lips to mine and then slowly pulled away. "My heart aches for you every day, but that won't keep me away. I wouldn't stop the suffering because I welcome the pain." He crushed his lips back to mine, causing me to lose my breath as I kissed him back with force.
A moan escaped my parted lips as I placed my hands to his stiff chest and squeezed. His heart pounded heavily against my open palm as he lifted me off the ground and set me down on the railing. He forcefully pressed his body between my legs and gripped the back of my hair with both hands.
I felt like I was falling, but I wasn't afraid. I had Jace there to save me. "You do something to me," I moaned against his lips.
He smiled and ran his finger over my bottom lip. "You do something to me too. Something that I'll never be able to explain..."
His words trailed off as he kissed me again while fighting to catch his breath. His breathing was heavy and forced as he placed his hand to my chest and reached for my hand with his free one. "This is the only way to explain what you do to me." He firmly pressed my hand against his chest to reveal the heavy beating of his heart.
Every day he had to live with the pain and face the fact that he was dying. Maybe he couldn't face the fact. Maybe that's why he was never sober. He turned to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. That was why my mother stayed. She did know the good side at one point. She spent her life waiting for the good Henry to return. The one that at one time possibly adored her and maybe even myself. I was going to be sick.
"Stop the car!" I threw my hand to my mouth as the vomit threatened to spew through my parted lips. "Stop!"
Jace quickly pulled the car over and jumped out of the car right as I managed to swing my door open and fall out on my knees. The hard gravel dug into my bony knees as the world spun around me and the vomit escaped through my parted lips. The only thing that kept me sane was the feel of Jace's strong hand rubbing the back of my head. Nothing else in the world seemed to make sense at the moment. He was the only thing that seemed real to me. The only thing keeping me alive.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," I cried. "I should have stayed with you. I did this. Everything is my fault." I brought my knees to my chin and rocked back and forth, as he continued to rub my head. "I left to keep you safe and I still managed to mess things up. I'm nothing but a-"
"No," he whispered. "None of this was your fault. You had no control over your father or your mother for that matter. You have been through so much and it's time for you to move on. This is your chance." He pulled me into his arms and fell down on the ground next to me. "This is what it feels like to be loved," he swallowed. "Let me get you home."
I stared up at him in confusion as he jumped to his feet, helped me up and back into the car. All of the color drained from his usually tanned face as he wiped the ass of his jeans off and gently reached over to buckle me in. I wanted to question what he had just meant, but I couldn't seem to form any words. Not the ones that I wanted to at least. "Okay," I whispered. Thank you."
He looked down at me while chewing on his lip in frustration. He looked as if he had something to say, but decided against it at last minute. Then without another word, he jogged to his side of the car and jumped in.
We arrived back at Jace's house to find a little silver Honda now sitting in the driveway. Jace's eyes went wide as we pulled up behind the car and Jace nervously slammed the car into park. He looked lost as his eyes focused on the figure that now sat on his front porch. It was too dark to tell, but I was almost positive that it was a woman.
"It's my sister," he whispered. "She hasn't come to my house in over three years. There has to be something wrong." He ran his hands through his hair and exhaled. "Shit."
I sat there frozen in place as he jumped out of the car and hurried over to his sister. They both stood there in silence before Jackie threw her frail arms around Jace and he pulled her into his arms. I could see Jackie's body shaking as she fell to her knees and gripped his shirt. The sight in front of me brought me to tears. I could tell even from far away that they were both crying.
I never in my life had seen a man cry and it broke my heart to pieces. Jace was the strongest person that I knew and to see him cry crushed me. He really did have the biggest heart in the world. First, he was there to take care of me and now his sister. He had to have a heart of steel to be so strong.
I waited in the car until Jace looked my direction and nodded his head.
He smiled as I stepped out of the car, popped a piece of gum in my mouth and walked over to stand in front of him and Jackie. "Go on inside and get some rest." He kissed his sister on the forehead and watched as she smiled at me and headed inside. She looked as if she had been crying for days. Her cheeks were swollen and red and she could barely even open her eyes. By looking at her, you would think that she hadn't slept in over a week. Jace really had his hands full with the both us.
I stood there feeling lost, but somewhat relieved as the door softly shut behind Jackie. Jace peered over his left shoulder to look at me. He nodded his head and then walked over to lean against the porch. His eyes scanned mine as he played with his leather jacket. "She left him, Avery." He let out a small grunt and then smiled. "She actually left that piece of shit." He looked down at the ground and a tear fell from his face. He didn't even try to hide it.
My heart raced as I ran over to him and threw my arms around him. For the first time in a long time, I was thinking about someone other than myself. "Don't cry," I breathed, wanting nothing more than to comfort him. "I don't like to see you look so..."
Jace looked up and cupped my face. "What?" he pushed.
I hid my face in his chest and gripped his jacket. I didn’t want him to see my face. "Sad," I replied. "It makes me..."
"It makes you what," he whispered, "Tell me."
"It makes me sad and breaks my heart. Okay," I muttered. "It fucking hurts me to see you sad." I looked up into his eyes as his grip suddenly tightened around me. It gave me chills.
The look on his face was unreadable as he leaned forward and softly brushed his lips against mine. "That's how I feel about you every day." He pressed his soft lips to mine and then slowly pulled away. "My heart aches for you every day, but that won't keep me away. I wouldn't stop the suffering because I welcome the pain." He crushed his lips back to mine, causing me to lose my breath as I kissed him back with force.
A moan escaped my parted lips as I placed my hands to his stiff chest and squeezed. His heart pounded heavily against my open palm as he lifted me off the ground and set me down on the railing. He forcefully pressed his body between my legs and gripped the back of my hair with both hands.
I felt like I was falling, but I wasn't afraid. I had Jace there to save me. "You do something to me," I moaned against his lips.
He smiled and ran his finger over my bottom lip. "You do something to me too. Something that I'll never be able to explain..."
His words trailed off as he kissed me again while fighting to catch his breath. His breathing was heavy and forced as he placed his hand to my chest and reached for my hand with his free one. "This is the only way to explain what you do to me." He firmly pressed my hand against his chest to reveal the heavy beating of his heart.
