Waking Gods
Page 60
I sure wish you were here with me. I’m better with you around. You know when I’m about to do something dumb. You put your hand on my shoulder to stop me from doing it, or you don’t and we do something even dumber together. Either way, I know everything’ll be OK. I’d give anything to have you with me now. See if you’d put that hand on my shoulder or not. I’d feel a whole lot better if you were here to help me plan this thing.
The good news is Eva’s safe for now. The Russians will kill me if they get the chance, but they won’t hurt her unless they have to. So if I don’t make it, then you have to find her. You have to find her and bring her home. Get help. The EDC, the US government, it doesn’t matter. They’ll wanna know if the helmets will turn on for her. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but they’ll protect her. That’s good. You have to promise me, Vincent Couture. You have to promise me you’ll find her and keep her safe.
There’s something else you need to promise me. When you find our daughter, I know you will, don’t become someone you’re not. I know your dad wasn’t everything you wanted him to be. Don’t let that change you. Don’t try to be like him. Don’t try to not be like him. Be you. Remember how unhappy I was awhile back? I didn’t even know I was, but I was. It was because I thought I had to be someone else. It wasn’t your fault. You never asked me to change anything. In fact, I’m pretty sure you weren’t happy I did. I know I did it to myself. I guess what I’m saying is: Don’t do what I did. Don’t become something you’re not because you think that’s the right thing, or the “normal” thing to do. She has a good father. Let her get to know that man.
And don’t be too hard on her. If she’s anything like me, she might be a little rough on the edges. She might try to put you in your place every now and then. Good for her. You need it sometimes. And if she’s anything like you…You’re in for a sea of trouble if she’s anything like you. She might not want you around. Don’t take it personally. She had parents who probably loved her very much. They took care of her. They’re her parents. She doesn’t owe us. So be her friend if she’s not ready for a dad just yet. Just be there for her.
Let her be what she wants to be. She might not have a long life ahead of her. The way things are looking, none of us have much of a future. Let her get through it on her own terms. Let her live. She deserves that. She’s earned it, believe me.
Time to do something stupid. Hey! What am I saying? It will work. You’ll be safe. I’ll come home and surprise you in the lab, introduce you to your daughter, then I can throw out this letter. Easy as pie.
You know I love you, right? I don’t tell you often because your ego would get even bigger and maybe implode and create a black hole. I don’t want to destroy the universe. But I do. Love you, that is. You’re a cocky, arrogant son of a bitch and I love you. You’re also the bravest man I ever met. I’m not sure I ever told you that. We had fun, didn’t we? Anyway, I did. I hope I haven’t been too much of a pain in that Quebecois ass of yours.
You probably saw the other envelope. It’s for Eva. Give it to her when the time comes. Not now. She’s got enough to deal with, but someday. You’ll know when it’s time.
Be good. I’ll see you on the flip side.
Kara
FILE NO. 1614
TRAINING LOG—VINCENT COUTURE, CONSULTANT, EDC AND EVA REYES Location: Shawnee Mission Park, Lenexa, KS
[Are you sure you want to do this, Eva?]
—Yes, Dr. Franklin.
[Call me Rose. Just don’t try anything on your own. Listen to Vincent, OK?]
OK!
—Eva. This is…this is your station.
—Are you OK, Vincent?
—Yeah. This is just—
—You’re crying! Did I do something wrong?
—No! It’s not you, Eva. It’s just…harder than I thought it would be.
—Do you want me to leave?
—No! No! I’m good!…There! Hop on. I’ll help you strap yourself in.
—What is this?
—That’s a…It’s a pedestal, so you can reach the controls.
—Is it a phone book?
—It’s two phone books I duct taped together and glued to the floor. We can find you something prettier if this works. I’m pretty sure it’s the right height.
—Are you sure I can do this?
—Nope. Absolutely not. That’s what we’re here to find out. The helmet might not work for you at all. Doesn’t work for anyone else. Here, put this on like you would a jacket. See! Perfect height! Can you fit your fingers in there? Is it too tight? Too loose? I think the gloves fit you better than they did Kara. I’m going to close these on your forearms. This big thing here goes around your chest. There! How do you feel?
—I’m OK.
—Try to move a little. Move your arms. All the way up. Try to bend down. How far can you go?…What is it?
—Can I ask you something, Vincent? Is it OK if I keep calling you Vincent? I’m not—
—Oh yes. I’m not ready for that either. Let’s take this slow. What did you want to ask me?
[Are you guys OK up there?]
Yeah, Rose. Just give us a minute. Go ahead Eva, she can’t hear us now.
—What happens if I can’t do it?
—Nothing. Well, we’ll probably fall first, then nothing. It doesn’t matter.
—Yes it matters! People are dying.
—Eva, I don’t think either of us can make much of a difference at this point. But I’m with you, Eva, win or lose.
—What if I make a mistake?
—Trust me, kid, even if you completely sucked at this, you couldn’t possibly do as much damage as Kara and I did when we first started. For now, there aren’t even any skills involved. Either the helmet turns on or it doesn’t. You can’t will it to work for you.
—Thank you, for changing your mind.
—Don’t thank me. I’m a horrible father. I’m letting my ten-year-old girl pilot a humongous war machine. I’m going straight to hell, maybe to jail first, if child services ever hears about this. And I’ll be honest with you, I’m hoping the helmet won’t work. Then we’ll know. We can let the world know. They’ll leave you alone and you can have a normal life, whatever that is.
The good news is Eva’s safe for now. The Russians will kill me if they get the chance, but they won’t hurt her unless they have to. So if I don’t make it, then you have to find her. You have to find her and bring her home. Get help. The EDC, the US government, it doesn’t matter. They’ll wanna know if the helmets will turn on for her. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but they’ll protect her. That’s good. You have to promise me, Vincent Couture. You have to promise me you’ll find her and keep her safe.
There’s something else you need to promise me. When you find our daughter, I know you will, don’t become someone you’re not. I know your dad wasn’t everything you wanted him to be. Don’t let that change you. Don’t try to be like him. Don’t try to not be like him. Be you. Remember how unhappy I was awhile back? I didn’t even know I was, but I was. It was because I thought I had to be someone else. It wasn’t your fault. You never asked me to change anything. In fact, I’m pretty sure you weren’t happy I did. I know I did it to myself. I guess what I’m saying is: Don’t do what I did. Don’t become something you’re not because you think that’s the right thing, or the “normal” thing to do. She has a good father. Let her get to know that man.
And don’t be too hard on her. If she’s anything like me, she might be a little rough on the edges. She might try to put you in your place every now and then. Good for her. You need it sometimes. And if she’s anything like you…You’re in for a sea of trouble if she’s anything like you. She might not want you around. Don’t take it personally. She had parents who probably loved her very much. They took care of her. They’re her parents. She doesn’t owe us. So be her friend if she’s not ready for a dad just yet. Just be there for her.
Let her be what she wants to be. She might not have a long life ahead of her. The way things are looking, none of us have much of a future. Let her get through it on her own terms. Let her live. She deserves that. She’s earned it, believe me.
Time to do something stupid. Hey! What am I saying? It will work. You’ll be safe. I’ll come home and surprise you in the lab, introduce you to your daughter, then I can throw out this letter. Easy as pie.
You know I love you, right? I don’t tell you often because your ego would get even bigger and maybe implode and create a black hole. I don’t want to destroy the universe. But I do. Love you, that is. You’re a cocky, arrogant son of a bitch and I love you. You’re also the bravest man I ever met. I’m not sure I ever told you that. We had fun, didn’t we? Anyway, I did. I hope I haven’t been too much of a pain in that Quebecois ass of yours.
You probably saw the other envelope. It’s for Eva. Give it to her when the time comes. Not now. She’s got enough to deal with, but someday. You’ll know when it’s time.
Be good. I’ll see you on the flip side.
Kara
FILE NO. 1614
TRAINING LOG—VINCENT COUTURE, CONSULTANT, EDC AND EVA REYES Location: Shawnee Mission Park, Lenexa, KS
[Are you sure you want to do this, Eva?]
—Yes, Dr. Franklin.
[Call me Rose. Just don’t try anything on your own. Listen to Vincent, OK?]
OK!
—Eva. This is…this is your station.
—Are you OK, Vincent?
—Yeah. This is just—
—You’re crying! Did I do something wrong?
—No! It’s not you, Eva. It’s just…harder than I thought it would be.
—Do you want me to leave?
—No! No! I’m good!…There! Hop on. I’ll help you strap yourself in.
—What is this?
—That’s a…It’s a pedestal, so you can reach the controls.
—Is it a phone book?
—It’s two phone books I duct taped together and glued to the floor. We can find you something prettier if this works. I’m pretty sure it’s the right height.
—Are you sure I can do this?
—Nope. Absolutely not. That’s what we’re here to find out. The helmet might not work for you at all. Doesn’t work for anyone else. Here, put this on like you would a jacket. See! Perfect height! Can you fit your fingers in there? Is it too tight? Too loose? I think the gloves fit you better than they did Kara. I’m going to close these on your forearms. This big thing here goes around your chest. There! How do you feel?
—I’m OK.
—Try to move a little. Move your arms. All the way up. Try to bend down. How far can you go?…What is it?
—Can I ask you something, Vincent? Is it OK if I keep calling you Vincent? I’m not—
—Oh yes. I’m not ready for that either. Let’s take this slow. What did you want to ask me?
[Are you guys OK up there?]
Yeah, Rose. Just give us a minute. Go ahead Eva, she can’t hear us now.
—What happens if I can’t do it?
—Nothing. Well, we’ll probably fall first, then nothing. It doesn’t matter.
—Yes it matters! People are dying.
—Eva, I don’t think either of us can make much of a difference at this point. But I’m with you, Eva, win or lose.
—What if I make a mistake?
—Trust me, kid, even if you completely sucked at this, you couldn’t possibly do as much damage as Kara and I did when we first started. For now, there aren’t even any skills involved. Either the helmet turns on or it doesn’t. You can’t will it to work for you.
—Thank you, for changing your mind.
—Don’t thank me. I’m a horrible father. I’m letting my ten-year-old girl pilot a humongous war machine. I’m going straight to hell, maybe to jail first, if child services ever hears about this. And I’ll be honest with you, I’m hoping the helmet won’t work. Then we’ll know. We can let the world know. They’ll leave you alone and you can have a normal life, whatever that is.
