Wallbanger
Page 20
“That’s very good to know as well. Did you know that Simon doesn’t consider his lady friends a ‘harem,’ and Jillian at one point actually told him about me as a potential girl he should be dating?”
We all hmm-ed and chewed. Then began Round Two.
“Did you know that Neil loves to windsurf? And he has tickets to the symphony benefit next week? When he found out I was already going with you, Sophia, he suggested we double.”
“Mmm, that sounds fun. I was thinking of asking Ryan. Who, by the way, also loves to windsurf. They all do—they surf in the bay whenever they can. And I can also report that he now runs a charity that puts computers and educational materials into inner city schools all over California. It’s called—” Sophia began.
“No Child Left Offline?” Mimi quickly finished.
Sophia nodded.
“I love that charity! I give to that organization every year. And Ryan is the one who runs it? Wow…small world,” Mimi mused as she began to cut her eggs.
Quiet descended while we chewed again, and I tried to come up with something else to say about Simon that didn’t have anything to do with him kissing me, me kissing him, or him being aware of my nocturnal verbal emissions.
“Um, Simon has Too Short on his iPod,” I mumbled, which was met with hmms, but I knew my dish wasn’t as good.
“Music is important. Who was that guy you were dating who had his own album out?” Mimi asked.
“No, no. He didn’t have an album out. He was trying to sell his own CDs out of the back of his car. Not the same thing.” I laughed.
“You dated another singer too—Coffee House Joe, remember him?” Sophia snorted into her breakfast.
“Yes, he was about fifteen years too late for the flannel, but he got an A for angst. And was more than decent in bed.” I sighed, thinking back.
“When is this self-imposed dating hiatus going to be over?” Mimi asked.
“Not sure. I kinda like not dating anyone.”
“Please, who are you kidding?” Sophia snorted again.
“You need a tissue over there, Miss Piggy? Seriously, there have been too many Coffee House Joes and Machine Gun Corys. I’m not interested in just dating any more. It’s too much of a merry go round. I’m not investing any more time and effort until I know it’s going somewhere. And besides, O’s off in no-man’s land. I might as well join her,” I added, trying some coffee again and avoiding their eyes.
They had their Os, and now they had new boys. I didn’t expect anyone to join me on my dating sabbatical. But now their faces just looked so sad. I needed to turn this back to them.
“So last night was good for you guys, huh? Any kisses at the door? Any spit swapping?” I asked, smiling cheerfully.
“Yes! I mean, Neil kissed me.” Mimi sighed.
“Oooh, I bet he’s a good kisser. Did he wrap you up tight and run his hands up and down your back? He has great hands. Did you notice his hands? Damn fine hands,” Sophia rambled, face in her pancake stack. Mimi and I exchanged a glance and waited for her to come up for air. When she saw us staring, she blushed a little.
“What? I noticed his hands? They’re huge. How could you not?” she stammered and crammed her mouth full so we would move on.
I giggled and turned my attention back to Mimi. “So, did Mr. Great Hands use his great hands?”
It was Mimi’s turn to blush. “Actually, he was very sweet. Just a little peck on the lips and a nice hug at my door,” she answered with a giant smile.
“And you, Miss Thing? Was the computer genius charitable with his goodnight kiss?” I giggled.
“Um…yes, he was. He gave me a great goodnight kiss,” she replied, licking syrup off the back of her hand. She didn’t seem to notice the way Mimi’s eyes burned a little when she mentioned the goodnight she’d received, but I did.
“So, you escaped last night unscathed, I take it?” Mimi asked me, sipping her coffee. I was still nursing the sore tongue, so I chose to stick with juice.
“I did. We came to a truce and will try to be more neighborly.”
“What exactly does that mean?” she asked.
“That means he’ll try to curtail his activities to earlier in the evening, and I’ll try to be more understanding about his sex life, as lively as it is,” I answered, digging into my purse for some money.
“One week,” Sophia muttered.
“Come again?”
“You wish. One week. That’s how long I give this truce. You can’t keep your opinions to yourself, and he can’t keep that Giggler quiet. One week,” she said again as Mimi smiled away.
Huh, we’ll see…
Monday morning, bright and early, Jillian came waltzing in to my office.
“Knock knock,” she called. She was the picture of casual chic: hair swept back into a loose bun, little black dress on her little tan body, legs that went on for miles ending in red pumps. Pumps that would probably constitute almost a week’s pay for me. She was my mentor in every way, and I made a mental note to make sure I someday obtained the quiet confidence she carried with her.
She smiled when she saw the new flowers in the vase on my desk. This week I’d chosen orange tulips, three dozen.
“Morning! Did you see that the Nicholsons have added a home theater? I knew they’d come around.” I smiled as I sat back in my chair. Jillian settled herself in the chair across from me and just smiled back.
“Oh, and Mimi is coming over for dinner tonight. We’re hoping to finalize the plans for the new closet system she’s designing. She wants to add carpet now.” I shook my head and sipped coffee from the mug on my desk. My tongue had almost healed.
Jillian just continued to smile. I began to wonder if I had a Cheerio stuck to my face. “Did I tell you I got the glass company in Murano to give me a deal on the pieces I ordered for the bathroom chandelier?” I forged ahead. “It’s going to be beautiful. I think we’ll definitely want to use them again.” I added, smiling hopefully.
She finally sighed and leaned forward with a cat-that-ate-the-canary-and-went-back-for-the-feathers-to-play-with grin.
“Jillian, did you have dental work done this morning? Are you trying to show me your new dentures?” I asked, and she finally flinched.
“As if I would ever need dentures, pffft. No, I’m waiting for you to tell me about your neighbor, Mr. Parker. Or should I say Simon Wallbanger?” She laughed, finally sitting back in her chair and giving me a look that said I would not be allowed to leave my office until I told her everything she wanted to know.
We all hmm-ed and chewed. Then began Round Two.
“Did you know that Neil loves to windsurf? And he has tickets to the symphony benefit next week? When he found out I was already going with you, Sophia, he suggested we double.”
“Mmm, that sounds fun. I was thinking of asking Ryan. Who, by the way, also loves to windsurf. They all do—they surf in the bay whenever they can. And I can also report that he now runs a charity that puts computers and educational materials into inner city schools all over California. It’s called—” Sophia began.
“No Child Left Offline?” Mimi quickly finished.
Sophia nodded.
“I love that charity! I give to that organization every year. And Ryan is the one who runs it? Wow…small world,” Mimi mused as she began to cut her eggs.
Quiet descended while we chewed again, and I tried to come up with something else to say about Simon that didn’t have anything to do with him kissing me, me kissing him, or him being aware of my nocturnal verbal emissions.
“Um, Simon has Too Short on his iPod,” I mumbled, which was met with hmms, but I knew my dish wasn’t as good.
“Music is important. Who was that guy you were dating who had his own album out?” Mimi asked.
“No, no. He didn’t have an album out. He was trying to sell his own CDs out of the back of his car. Not the same thing.” I laughed.
“You dated another singer too—Coffee House Joe, remember him?” Sophia snorted into her breakfast.
“Yes, he was about fifteen years too late for the flannel, but he got an A for angst. And was more than decent in bed.” I sighed, thinking back.
“When is this self-imposed dating hiatus going to be over?” Mimi asked.
“Not sure. I kinda like not dating anyone.”
“Please, who are you kidding?” Sophia snorted again.
“You need a tissue over there, Miss Piggy? Seriously, there have been too many Coffee House Joes and Machine Gun Corys. I’m not interested in just dating any more. It’s too much of a merry go round. I’m not investing any more time and effort until I know it’s going somewhere. And besides, O’s off in no-man’s land. I might as well join her,” I added, trying some coffee again and avoiding their eyes.
They had their Os, and now they had new boys. I didn’t expect anyone to join me on my dating sabbatical. But now their faces just looked so sad. I needed to turn this back to them.
“So last night was good for you guys, huh? Any kisses at the door? Any spit swapping?” I asked, smiling cheerfully.
“Yes! I mean, Neil kissed me.” Mimi sighed.
“Oooh, I bet he’s a good kisser. Did he wrap you up tight and run his hands up and down your back? He has great hands. Did you notice his hands? Damn fine hands,” Sophia rambled, face in her pancake stack. Mimi and I exchanged a glance and waited for her to come up for air. When she saw us staring, she blushed a little.
“What? I noticed his hands? They’re huge. How could you not?” she stammered and crammed her mouth full so we would move on.
I giggled and turned my attention back to Mimi. “So, did Mr. Great Hands use his great hands?”
It was Mimi’s turn to blush. “Actually, he was very sweet. Just a little peck on the lips and a nice hug at my door,” she answered with a giant smile.
“And you, Miss Thing? Was the computer genius charitable with his goodnight kiss?” I giggled.
“Um…yes, he was. He gave me a great goodnight kiss,” she replied, licking syrup off the back of her hand. She didn’t seem to notice the way Mimi’s eyes burned a little when she mentioned the goodnight she’d received, but I did.
“So, you escaped last night unscathed, I take it?” Mimi asked me, sipping her coffee. I was still nursing the sore tongue, so I chose to stick with juice.
“I did. We came to a truce and will try to be more neighborly.”
“What exactly does that mean?” she asked.
“That means he’ll try to curtail his activities to earlier in the evening, and I’ll try to be more understanding about his sex life, as lively as it is,” I answered, digging into my purse for some money.
“One week,” Sophia muttered.
“Come again?”
“You wish. One week. That’s how long I give this truce. You can’t keep your opinions to yourself, and he can’t keep that Giggler quiet. One week,” she said again as Mimi smiled away.
Huh, we’ll see…
Monday morning, bright and early, Jillian came waltzing in to my office.
“Knock knock,” she called. She was the picture of casual chic: hair swept back into a loose bun, little black dress on her little tan body, legs that went on for miles ending in red pumps. Pumps that would probably constitute almost a week’s pay for me. She was my mentor in every way, and I made a mental note to make sure I someday obtained the quiet confidence she carried with her.
She smiled when she saw the new flowers in the vase on my desk. This week I’d chosen orange tulips, three dozen.
“Morning! Did you see that the Nicholsons have added a home theater? I knew they’d come around.” I smiled as I sat back in my chair. Jillian settled herself in the chair across from me and just smiled back.
“Oh, and Mimi is coming over for dinner tonight. We’re hoping to finalize the plans for the new closet system she’s designing. She wants to add carpet now.” I shook my head and sipped coffee from the mug on my desk. My tongue had almost healed.
Jillian just continued to smile. I began to wonder if I had a Cheerio stuck to my face. “Did I tell you I got the glass company in Murano to give me a deal on the pieces I ordered for the bathroom chandelier?” I forged ahead. “It’s going to be beautiful. I think we’ll definitely want to use them again.” I added, smiling hopefully.
She finally sighed and leaned forward with a cat-that-ate-the-canary-and-went-back-for-the-feathers-to-play-with grin.
“Jillian, did you have dental work done this morning? Are you trying to show me your new dentures?” I asked, and she finally flinched.
“As if I would ever need dentures, pffft. No, I’m waiting for you to tell me about your neighbor, Mr. Parker. Or should I say Simon Wallbanger?” She laughed, finally sitting back in her chair and giving me a look that said I would not be allowed to leave my office until I told her everything she wanted to know.
