Wallbanger
Page 5
I blushed furiously and sipped my coffee.
“Wait a minute. Late-night noises? Caroline? Seriously? Did you hear some sexy times?” she prodded.
I thumped my head on the desk. Oh, God. Flashbacks. No more thumping. I peeked up at her, and she had her head thrown back in laughter.
“Aw jeez, Caroline. I had no idea! The last neighbor I remember was in his eighties, and the only noise I ever heard coming from that bedroom was reruns of Gunsmoke. But come to think of it, I could hear that TV show remarkably well…” She trailed off.
“Yes, well, Gunsmoke isn’t what’s coming through those walls now. Straight up sex is coming through those walls. And not sweet, boring sex either. We’re talking…interesting.” I smiled.
“What did you hear?” she asked, her eyes lighting up.
I don’t care how old you are, or what background you come from, there are two universal truths. We will always laugh at…gas if it happens at the wrong time, and we are always curious about what goes on in other people’s bedrooms.
“Jillian, seriously. It was like nothing I’ve ever heard before! The first night, they were banging the wall so hard a picture fell off and hit me on the head!”
Her eyes widened, and she leaned forward on my desk. “Shut up!”
“I will not! Then I heard…Jesus, I heard spanking.” I was discussing spanking with my boss. Do you see why I love my life?
“Nooo,” she breathed, and we giggled like schoolgirls.
“Yeesss. And he made my bed move, Jillian. Made it move! I saw her the next morning, as Spanx was leaving.”
“You call her Spanx?”
“You bet! And then last night—”
“Two nights in a row! Spanx got spanked again?”
“Oh no, last night I was treated to a freak of nature I’ve named Purina,” I continued.
“Purina? I don’t get it.” She frowned.
“The Russian he made meow last night.”
She laughed again, causing Steve from accounting to stick his head in the door.
“What are you two hens clucking about in here?” he asked, shaking his head.
“Nothing,” we answered at the same time, then cracked up again.
“Two women in two nights, that’s impressive.” She sighed.
“Come on, impressive? No. Manwhore? Yes.”
“Wow, do you know his name?”
“I do, in fact. His name is Simon. I know this because Spanx and Purina kept screaming it over and over again. I could make it out over the banging…Stupid wall banger,” I muttered.
She was silent for a moment, and then she grinned. “Simon Wallbanger—I love it!”
“Yeah, you love it. You didn’t have your cat trying to mate with Purina through the wall last night.” I chuckled ruefully and laid my head back on the desk as we continued to giggle.
“Okay, let’s get to work,” Jillian finally said, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I need you to land these new clients today. What time are they coming in?”
“Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Nicholson are here at one. I’ve got the presentation and the plans all ready for them. I think they’ll really like the way I redesigned their bedroom. We’re going to be able to offer an en suite sitting room and an entirely new bathroom. It’s pretty great.”
“I believe you. Can you run through your ideas with me at lunch?”
“Yep, I’m all over it,” I answered as she headed for the door.
“You know, Caroline, if you can land this job, it would be huge for the firm,” she said, eying me over her tortoiseshell glasses.
“Just wait until you see what I came up with for their new home theater.”
“They don’t have a home theater.”
“Not yet they don’t,” I said, arching my eyebrows and grinning devilishly.
“Nice,” she appraised and left to start her day.
The Nicholsons were definitely a couple I wanted—everyone did. Mimi had done some work for Natalie Nicholson, blueblood and well heeled, when she reorganized her office last year. She referred me when interior design hit the table, and I immediately started plans for their bedroom remodel.
Wallbanger. Pffft.
“Fantastic, Caroline. Simply fantastic,” Natalie raved as I walked her and her husband to the front door. We’d spent almost two hours going through the plans, and while we’d compromised on a few key points, it was going to be an exciting project.
“So, you think you’re the right designer for us?” Sam asked, his deep brown eyes twinkling as he wrapped his arm around his wife’s waist and played with her ponytail.
“You tell me,” I teased back, smiling at the two of them.
“I think we would love to work with you on this project,” Natalie said as we shook hands.
I internally high-fived myself, but kept my face composed. “Excellent. I’ll be in touch very soon, and we can get started on a schedule,” I said as I held the door for them.
I stood in the doorway as I waved them off, then let the door close behind me. I glanced over at Ashley, our receptionist. She raised her eyebrows at me, and I raised mine right back.
“So?” she asked.
“Oh yeah. Nailed it,” I sighed, and we both squealed. Jillian came down the stairs as we danced about, and she stopped short. “What the hell happened down here?” she asked, grinning.
“Caroline got hired by the Nicholsons!” Ashley squealed again.
“Nice.” Jillian gave me a quick hug. “Proud of you, kid,” she whispered, and I beamed. I freaking beamed.
I danced back to my office, putting a little bump and grind in it as I made my way around the desk. I sat down, twirled in my chair, and looked out onto the bay.
Well played, Caroline. Well played.
That night when I went out to celebrate my success with Mimi and Sophia, I may have imbibed more than a few margaritas. I continued with tequila shots, and I was still licking at the now-nonexistent salt on the inside of my wrist as they walked me up my stairs.
“Sophia, you’re so pretty. You know that, right?” I cooed, leaning on her as we crawled up the stairs.
“Yes, Caroline, I’m pretty. Good grasp on the obvious,” she said. At almost six feet tall with fiery red hair, Sophia was keenly aware her looks.
Mimi laughed, and I turned to her.
“And you, Mimi, you’re my best friend. And you’re so tiny! I bet I could carry you around in my pocket.” I giggled as I tried to find my pocket. Mimi was a petite Filipino, with caramel skin and the blackest hair.
“Wait a minute. Late-night noises? Caroline? Seriously? Did you hear some sexy times?” she prodded.
I thumped my head on the desk. Oh, God. Flashbacks. No more thumping. I peeked up at her, and she had her head thrown back in laughter.
“Aw jeez, Caroline. I had no idea! The last neighbor I remember was in his eighties, and the only noise I ever heard coming from that bedroom was reruns of Gunsmoke. But come to think of it, I could hear that TV show remarkably well…” She trailed off.
“Yes, well, Gunsmoke isn’t what’s coming through those walls now. Straight up sex is coming through those walls. And not sweet, boring sex either. We’re talking…interesting.” I smiled.
“What did you hear?” she asked, her eyes lighting up.
I don’t care how old you are, or what background you come from, there are two universal truths. We will always laugh at…gas if it happens at the wrong time, and we are always curious about what goes on in other people’s bedrooms.
“Jillian, seriously. It was like nothing I’ve ever heard before! The first night, they were banging the wall so hard a picture fell off and hit me on the head!”
Her eyes widened, and she leaned forward on my desk. “Shut up!”
“I will not! Then I heard…Jesus, I heard spanking.” I was discussing spanking with my boss. Do you see why I love my life?
“Nooo,” she breathed, and we giggled like schoolgirls.
“Yeesss. And he made my bed move, Jillian. Made it move! I saw her the next morning, as Spanx was leaving.”
“You call her Spanx?”
“You bet! And then last night—”
“Two nights in a row! Spanx got spanked again?”
“Oh no, last night I was treated to a freak of nature I’ve named Purina,” I continued.
“Purina? I don’t get it.” She frowned.
“The Russian he made meow last night.”
She laughed again, causing Steve from accounting to stick his head in the door.
“What are you two hens clucking about in here?” he asked, shaking his head.
“Nothing,” we answered at the same time, then cracked up again.
“Two women in two nights, that’s impressive.” She sighed.
“Come on, impressive? No. Manwhore? Yes.”
“Wow, do you know his name?”
“I do, in fact. His name is Simon. I know this because Spanx and Purina kept screaming it over and over again. I could make it out over the banging…Stupid wall banger,” I muttered.
She was silent for a moment, and then she grinned. “Simon Wallbanger—I love it!”
“Yeah, you love it. You didn’t have your cat trying to mate with Purina through the wall last night.” I chuckled ruefully and laid my head back on the desk as we continued to giggle.
“Okay, let’s get to work,” Jillian finally said, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I need you to land these new clients today. What time are they coming in?”
“Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Nicholson are here at one. I’ve got the presentation and the plans all ready for them. I think they’ll really like the way I redesigned their bedroom. We’re going to be able to offer an en suite sitting room and an entirely new bathroom. It’s pretty great.”
“I believe you. Can you run through your ideas with me at lunch?”
“Yep, I’m all over it,” I answered as she headed for the door.
“You know, Caroline, if you can land this job, it would be huge for the firm,” she said, eying me over her tortoiseshell glasses.
“Just wait until you see what I came up with for their new home theater.”
“They don’t have a home theater.”
“Not yet they don’t,” I said, arching my eyebrows and grinning devilishly.
“Nice,” she appraised and left to start her day.
The Nicholsons were definitely a couple I wanted—everyone did. Mimi had done some work for Natalie Nicholson, blueblood and well heeled, when she reorganized her office last year. She referred me when interior design hit the table, and I immediately started plans for their bedroom remodel.
Wallbanger. Pffft.
“Fantastic, Caroline. Simply fantastic,” Natalie raved as I walked her and her husband to the front door. We’d spent almost two hours going through the plans, and while we’d compromised on a few key points, it was going to be an exciting project.
“So, you think you’re the right designer for us?” Sam asked, his deep brown eyes twinkling as he wrapped his arm around his wife’s waist and played with her ponytail.
“You tell me,” I teased back, smiling at the two of them.
“I think we would love to work with you on this project,” Natalie said as we shook hands.
I internally high-fived myself, but kept my face composed. “Excellent. I’ll be in touch very soon, and we can get started on a schedule,” I said as I held the door for them.
I stood in the doorway as I waved them off, then let the door close behind me. I glanced over at Ashley, our receptionist. She raised her eyebrows at me, and I raised mine right back.
“So?” she asked.
“Oh yeah. Nailed it,” I sighed, and we both squealed. Jillian came down the stairs as we danced about, and she stopped short. “What the hell happened down here?” she asked, grinning.
“Caroline got hired by the Nicholsons!” Ashley squealed again.
“Nice.” Jillian gave me a quick hug. “Proud of you, kid,” she whispered, and I beamed. I freaking beamed.
I danced back to my office, putting a little bump and grind in it as I made my way around the desk. I sat down, twirled in my chair, and looked out onto the bay.
Well played, Caroline. Well played.
That night when I went out to celebrate my success with Mimi and Sophia, I may have imbibed more than a few margaritas. I continued with tequila shots, and I was still licking at the now-nonexistent salt on the inside of my wrist as they walked me up my stairs.
“Sophia, you’re so pretty. You know that, right?” I cooed, leaning on her as we crawled up the stairs.
“Yes, Caroline, I’m pretty. Good grasp on the obvious,” she said. At almost six feet tall with fiery red hair, Sophia was keenly aware her looks.
Mimi laughed, and I turned to her.
“And you, Mimi, you’re my best friend. And you’re so tiny! I bet I could carry you around in my pocket.” I giggled as I tried to find my pocket. Mimi was a petite Filipino, with caramel skin and the blackest hair.
