Wanted: Undead or Alive

Page 33

He dashed over and pulled out the box. Red letters on top read “Big Boy 1000 EXTREME!” He opened it and winced.
“Damn.” Nestled in red velvet was a flesh-colored rubber phallus. He plucked it out.
“Damn.” It was a big boy. He felt himself shrinking, just looking at the damned thing.
“Nothing in the bathroom.” Zoltan exited, closing the door behind him.
Phineas whipped the Big Boy behind his back, but the movement must have hit a button because it suddenly came alive, vibrating and wiggling against his lower back. He arched and shifted his weight, trying to look nonchalant.
Zoltan peered around the room. “Do you hear that?”
“No.”
“Sounds like a bee.” He gave Phineas a speculative look. “Are your clothes buzzing?”
He shrugged. “Brynley’s not here, so we might as well leave.”
Zoltan looked him over again, then glanced at the bed. “Okay.”
“You first. I’ll bring up the”—he winced as the damned thing wiggled against his rear—“uh, rear.”
Zoltan’s mouth twitched, then he teleported away.
“Damn.” Phineas turned the Big Boy off, then noticed he’d left the box on the bed. Damn, had Zoltan seen it? He stuffed the phallus back into the box, but must have jammed too hard, for it started wiggling again.
“Stop it.” He punched a button, but it merely increased its speed, the tip spiraling in wild circles.
Damn! He watched in horror. It was like a whirlybird on steroids! How could a man compete with that? He ripped the balls off it and emptied out the batteries. “Die, you freakin’ dildo, die!”
“I think I hear something in there,” a voice said in the hallway.
“Then check it out,” another voice demanded.
Phineas tossed the box back under the bed and teleported away.
He landed back in the tree. “Whew. Safe again.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” Zoltan muttered from his tree and pointed to the ground.
“It arrived right after you guys left,” Phil added.
Phineas glanced down at the big black bear. It reared up on its hind legs and clawed at the tree, shaking it. Phineas held on tight to the trunk.
“I could shift and try to chase it away,” Phil offered. “But it’s a long way down for me to jump.”
“I could try communicating with it mentally,” Zoltan suggested.
“Or I could just talk to him,” Phineas added dryly. He levitated down a bit. “Digger, what are you doing here?”
The bear shifted into a large, naked man. “How did you know it was me?”
Phineas gestured to the yellow dog sitting under a nearby tree with the foil-covered football helmet. “Your sidekick is one of a kind.”
“That’s right,” Digger said proudly. “My Jake is purty special.”
“Your dog could be in danger once the Hunt begins,” Phil called down.
Digger narrowed his eyes as he gazed up the tree. “You a shifter?”
“Werewolf. Philupus Jones.”
“Caddoc’s son? I heard you were dead.”
Phil snorted. “Is that what they’re saying? I was banished twelve years ago.”
Digger motioned to Zoltan. “What about that one? He has funny eyes. Could be an alien.”
“He’s Zoltan, a vampire like me,” Phineas explained.
“Are you sure? Zoltan sounds like an alien planet.”
Zoltan chuckled.
“What brings you here, Digger?” Phineas asked.
“My truck. I left it about a mile down the road.”
Phineas tried again. “Why are you here?”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about what you said about that bad werewolf, Rhett, that’s trying to force the little lady to marry him, and then I thought maybe I should have a word with Cad about it, see if he could stop that bad fella from pestering his daughter. We used to be friends, Cad and me, about a hundred years ago.”
“I’m afraid my father knows about Rhett,” Phil said. “And he’s trying to force the wedding, too.”
“Dagnabbit!” Digger slapped his thigh. “That ain’t right. I’m telling you, there’s some bad things going on around here. I saw two of them aliens beaming down in the backyard about five minutes ago.”
“You saw aliens?” Zoltan asked.
“A male and a female. They headed over to the stable. Really fast. They ain’t human, that’s for sure.”
Dimitri and Corky? Phineas glanced up at Zoltan. “Can you see them?”
From the top of his tree, Zoltan surveyed the area. “They must already be inside. A group of people are gathering in the backyard, starting to strip.”
“They’re getting ready for the Hunt,” Phil said.
“Do you see him?” Zoltan pointed. “A man in a tuxedo. He’s headed toward the stable in a hurry.”
Phineas levitated up to where he could see. “That’s Rhett Bleddyn. And that looks like Dimitri at the stable door.”
“Let’s go hear what they have to say,” Zoltan suggested.
“An alien powwow. I’ll meet you over there.” Digger and Jake trotted through the woods toward the stable.
Phineas, Phil, and Zoltan materialized at the back of the stable, then teleported into the hayloft.
Two voices were speaking below: Corky and Rhett. Corky was screaming so loud the horses were growing agitated.
Zoltan closed his eyes and mouthed some words.
Phineas gave him a questioning look, but when the horses settled down, he realized what Zoltan had been doing. He eased forward on his stomach to peek over the edge.
“It was terrible!” Corky shouted. “Dimitri and I barely escaped!”
“Calm down,” Rhett told her. “What happened?”
“It was those wretched MacKay men! They attacked us! The vampires had swords and guns, and there was a huge bear and a tiger!”
“They had shifters with them?”
“Yes! And they were ripping your werewolves into dog food. Dimitri and I barely made it out in time.”
Rhett stiffened. “You’re saying my men lost?”
Corky waved a dismissive hand. “They were falling like flies. I’ve never seen such a bunch of useless—”
“My men lost?” Rhett shouted.
“Yes! Have you been listening?” Corky screeched. “Those bloody MacKay bastards took over your ranch. Now where on earth am I supposed to do my death-sleep?”
Rhett dragged a hand through his hair. “I’ll find a place for you here.”
Corky huffed. “Let’s just go back to Alaska. You have plenty of land there.”
“I need more!” Rhett’s eyes gleamed. “I need more wolves. I need more power. And I’m so damned close. I’ll get more men down here quick. The wedding is in two nights.”
“I don’t want you to marry that bitch!” Corky screamed. “You’re mine.”
“Get a grip, Corky,” he hissed. “It’s just a damned formality so the land can transfer to me legally. Once I’m married to the Jones girl, we’ll kill her and the entire family. Then I’ll inherit it all.”
Phineas flinched and exchanged a look with Phil.
“Just two more days.” Rhett pulled Corky into his arms. “We’ll have it all. I’ll have thousands of pack members in four states following my every command.”
Corky wrapped her arms around his neck. “And I’ll have the governors under my control.”
Dimitri yelped and ran toward them. “There’s a bear charging toward us!”
“Quick!” Rhett ordered. “Take me to the house.”
They vanished just as Digger loped into the stable, followed by Jake. The horses went crazy, rearing up and kicking at their stalls.
“Calm yourselves,” Zoltan told them. “It will not harm you.”
The bear shifted, and the horses returned to normal.
Phineas jumped down to the ground. “Dammit, Digger!”
“What’s wrong?” He scratched at his beard. “Am I too late?”
“You scared them off,” Phineas muttered. “We missed a chance to capture them.”
“Or kill them,” Phil added.
“At least now we know exactly what they’re planning,” Zoltan said.
“What are they planning?” Digger asked.
“A wedding,” Phineas muttered. “Followed by mass murder.”
The bastards were planning to kill his Brynley.
Chapter Twenty-three
“Any sign of Brynley?” Phineas asked.
“Nope.” Digger was sitting on the roof of the stable, hidden behind a turret capped with a large weathervane. Wrapped in a dark horse blanket, he surveyed the surrounding area. His dog, Jake, was safe inside with the horses.
“Ain’t seen hide nor hair of her.” Digger chuckled. “You get it? She could have skin or fur.”
Phineas groaned inwardly. “I’ll check back with you later. Thanks.” He teleported to the front of the house, where Phil was stationed in a tree.
“Haven’t seen her,” Phil muttered.
Phineas sighed. They’d been watching the house for five hours. “You’d think she’d at least look out a damned window.”
There was plenty to look at. Werewolves were shifting back and forth, dragging back carcasses, cutting them up, and roasting them. Some of the guests had opted to remain human tonight so they could party at the house. They were drinking beer on the patio, making out in the garden. He’d spotted a few making love in the woods.
“I’ll check on you later,” he told Phil, then teleported to his station at the back of the house. He sat on a branch high up in a tree and scanned all the people once again, searching for Brynley.
Zoltan had teleported to the Carson ranch to report on what they’d heard in the stable. Meanwhile, Phineas, Phil, and Digger kept watch. No sign of Corky or Dimitri. They were either inside the house, or they’d teleported elsewhere. Rhett had taken off with a group of his minions in an SUV.
No sign of Brynley. What the hell was she doing in there? She didn’t seem to be using her bedroom. Did her father have her locked up in a prison cell? Was she miserable? Or did she have her Big Boy 1000 EXTREME to keep her company?
He snorted.
She probably never used it. After all, she’d left it behind when she ran away from home. And why should he worry if she did use it? It was better than jumping any of these werewolves who strutted around naked, covered with blood and grime.
He shifted on the branch. The sun would rise in less than an hour. He’d have to leave to do his death-sleep. His cell phone vibrated, not nearly as good as the Big Boy 1000 EXTREME, and he checked his text message. Zoltan was back, and he’d landed by the stable.
Phineas teleported over to Phil, picked him up, then materialized by the stable. They all sat out of view of the house, on the back side of the roof, close to Digger.
“The cabin has been quiet,” Zoltan told them. “No action there. Angus and his team defeated all the werewolves at Bleddyn’s ranch. Robby’s got a team there, keeping it secure. I told Angus that we saw Corky and Dimitri here, along with Bleddyn.”
“What does Angus want us to do?” Phineas asked.
“He’ll send us more men tomorrow night,” Zoltan said, “but he doesn’t want us to attack. We would end up killing Caddoc Jones’s pack members, and we don’t want to weaken his forces in case Bleddyn attacks him and his family.”
Phil shook his head. “This could escalate into a werewolf war, pack against pack. I need to get my brother and sisters out of here.”
How? Phineas wondered. He was tempted to walk up to the house, ring the front doorbell, and tell Caddoc Jones that he and his family were about to be slaughtered.
“If we see Corky or Dimitri, we’re supposed to grab them and teleport them straight to the Carson ranch. Angus has some silver chains and handcuffs there.” Zoltan took a deep breath. “And of course, if you see Brynley, you can grab her.”
“If we see her,” Phineas grumbled.
“We have thirty minutes left here,” Zoltan continued. “Then we’ll go to the Carson ranch for our death-sleep.”
Phineas groaned. He’d have to wait another night to rescue Brynley.
The next evening, Brynley forced herself to eat some of the buffet. It tasted like dry chalk in her mouth, but she needed to keep her strength up. She’d been awake for only two hours, but she was already stressed out.
First, her guards had escorted her to her bedroom so she could try on the wedding dress. After all, the wedding was tomorrow. She nearly choked on the deer meat she was chewing and drank half a glass of wine to fortify her nerves.
A female werewolf/seamstress had marked a few areas she wanted to alter, then Brynley had been escorted to a small office being used by her wedding planner. She hadn’t even known she had a wedding planner. But it wasn’t that surprising, really. Her father was not the sort to fool with mundane details. He commanded others to do it.
Since the wedding was happening so quickly, the invitations were merely passed out among the guests who were already there. Tonight was the third night of the full moon, and normally the last night of the monthly party, but the guests would simply stay one more night to witness the wedding.
She swallowed another bite of deer meat. It was all a farce, really. The wedding planner had acted like she wanted Brynley’s approval of the dinner menu and flower arrangements, but it was all going to happen whether she liked it or not.