Weightless
Page 14
I wasn’t sure if I was still crying when the sun started to set, only that I didn’t care anymore. I let myself break as I shot the pink and purple streaks across the Carolina sky. I knew right then and there, on a warm Sunday evening with my feet sinking into the sand at the edge of the ocean, that this summer would be the hardest of my life. It would either change me for the better or shatter me completely.
But maybe I needed to break, to fully fall to pieces, before I could ever truly be whole.
I debated not even showing up for my training session the next day, but I dragged my butt to the gym against my own will. I knew I’d have to face Rhodes after going off on him the day before but I hoped he would just let it go. That’s what I was prepared to do. The night before had set a new resolve for me and I was ready to get to work. Even if I was the only one in my corner, I was going to fight for a new me. The summer after high school was supposed to be about change, movement, progress. I was determined to turn my life around and I wasn’t going to waste a single second because of some jerk who’d always been a jerk, anyway. He didn’t think I could do it? Fine.
I would prove him wrong.
Just like I’d prove Mason wrong, and he’d realize giving me up was a mistake. Then, I’d be back under his arm, under his sheets on rainy Sundays — back where I belonged.
Even with my new determination, I couldn’t meet Rhodes’ eyes when I walked through the gym door. Walking straight up to the treadmill, I hit the QUICK START button and began walking, staring straight ahead out the window that overlooked the golf course. After a minute had passed, Rhodes walked over to stand in front of the machine. He leaned over and paused it, bracing his hands on either side of the display and blocking my view of the course, forcing me to look at him. When I finally did pull my eyes to his, his features were softer. I tried not to notice the way his hair flitted over his brows as they pulled together and he exhaled.
“I’m sorry, Natalie.”
I shivered a bit when he said my name, but I wasn’t sure why. Maybe because he was just saying it like a normal person yet for some reason the three syllables rolling off his tongue shot straight down between my thighs.
“I’m not sorry for pushing you, but I’m sorry for upsetting you.” His lips pressed together for a moment before he continued. “And I’m not ashamed of you.” Rhodes held my gaze. Even when I tried to look at the ground, he moved his head down into my view until I looked at him again. “Exactly the opposite, actually. You work hard. You want this, for whatever reason, and I can see it. That’s why I push you. I know you can work harder, go faster, lift more. I’m proud to have you as my client.”
I scoffed, the anger I felt from Saturday night resurfacing. “Oh yeah? Is that why you completely ignored me at Rook when I saw you with your…” I paused, not sure what to call Mrs. Landers. “Girlfriend?”
His mouth flattened into a thin line. “She’s a client, Natalie.”
“Is that right? Well damn, do you kiss on the necks of all your clients? I’ve been getting jipped.” I couldn’t believe those words just left my mouth and my cheeks flushed immediately, but I stood straight and kept my eyes on his.
He glared at me for a moment, his steady eyes threatening to weaken my resolve, but I remained poignant.
“You shouldn’t be smoking.”
I rolled my eyes at his attempt to change the subject. “I wasn’t smoking. If you hadn’t treated me like the plague and actually talked to me instead, you would know that.”
Again, I was surprised at the words leaving my mouth. They were a hell of a lot more confident than the girl saying them.
“I was just holding the hose for my friend. She doesn’t like to let it touch the table until it’s tapped.” I waved my hands in the air flittingly. “Some weird superstition or something.”
Rhodes kept his eyes on me, looking for a lie that wasn’t there. Finally, he nodded. “Fair enough,” he assessed, then he held out his hand.
I stared at it for a moment before grabbing it and letting him help me down off the machine.
“We need to get your weight. It’s been a week. Come on,” he said, nodding toward the office. “Let’s do it before you drink a bunch of water.”
I followed him back, my hand still tingling from where it had touched his. I couldn’t figure out if I was still angry at him or not, so I kept a frown in place just in case. He was always scowling, maybe I should do the same.
When we reached the office, he pointed to the tall, glass scale as he scoured his desk for my file. I eyed him silently, wondering if I had more questions for him or if I wanted to yell at him again. He had apologized for upsetting me, and he said he believed in me — which was exactly what I needed in that moment, wasn’t it? He was “proud to have me as a client,” which was why he pushed me. Maybe I didn’t need him as a friend, if I could have him as a pillar of support, instead.
It was too much to figure out in that moment, so I sighed and stepped up, closing my eyes as I waited for him to write down what was probably the same number as last week.
“Down eleven pounds,” he said and my eyes shot open. “Nice job.”
I stared at the number on the digital screen, my mouth hanging open. No. Way.
Rhodes let me stare for a moment and, thankfully, he didn’t make fun of me. When it had finally sank in that I was eleven pounds lighter than the week before, I slowly stepped off the scale, wincing at the pain I still felt in my legs after yesterday. Walking in the sand all night probably wasn’t the best way to recover from leg day.
Rhodes must have picked up on my expression. “How do your muscles feel?”
“Tight,” I answered, bracing myself with one hand on the wall as I lifted my foot and pulled it up toward my lower back to stretch out my quad. It killed me just to lift my leg at all. When I pulled it in toward my body, I cried out and let it drop back down to the floor.
Rhodes furrowed his brows. “Follow me.”
We headed back into the gym and I expected him to tell me to jump back on the treadmill, but he grabbed a yoga mat and a tennis ball, instead, before leading me out back to where we had our first outdoor session. I watched his back move as we walked, the muscles flexing beneath the thin fabric of his tattered blue tank top. His skin seemed darker today and I wondered if he had enjoyed the beach yesterday, too.
But maybe I needed to break, to fully fall to pieces, before I could ever truly be whole.
I debated not even showing up for my training session the next day, but I dragged my butt to the gym against my own will. I knew I’d have to face Rhodes after going off on him the day before but I hoped he would just let it go. That’s what I was prepared to do. The night before had set a new resolve for me and I was ready to get to work. Even if I was the only one in my corner, I was going to fight for a new me. The summer after high school was supposed to be about change, movement, progress. I was determined to turn my life around and I wasn’t going to waste a single second because of some jerk who’d always been a jerk, anyway. He didn’t think I could do it? Fine.
I would prove him wrong.
Just like I’d prove Mason wrong, and he’d realize giving me up was a mistake. Then, I’d be back under his arm, under his sheets on rainy Sundays — back where I belonged.
Even with my new determination, I couldn’t meet Rhodes’ eyes when I walked through the gym door. Walking straight up to the treadmill, I hit the QUICK START button and began walking, staring straight ahead out the window that overlooked the golf course. After a minute had passed, Rhodes walked over to stand in front of the machine. He leaned over and paused it, bracing his hands on either side of the display and blocking my view of the course, forcing me to look at him. When I finally did pull my eyes to his, his features were softer. I tried not to notice the way his hair flitted over his brows as they pulled together and he exhaled.
“I’m sorry, Natalie.”
I shivered a bit when he said my name, but I wasn’t sure why. Maybe because he was just saying it like a normal person yet for some reason the three syllables rolling off his tongue shot straight down between my thighs.
“I’m not sorry for pushing you, but I’m sorry for upsetting you.” His lips pressed together for a moment before he continued. “And I’m not ashamed of you.” Rhodes held my gaze. Even when I tried to look at the ground, he moved his head down into my view until I looked at him again. “Exactly the opposite, actually. You work hard. You want this, for whatever reason, and I can see it. That’s why I push you. I know you can work harder, go faster, lift more. I’m proud to have you as my client.”
I scoffed, the anger I felt from Saturday night resurfacing. “Oh yeah? Is that why you completely ignored me at Rook when I saw you with your…” I paused, not sure what to call Mrs. Landers. “Girlfriend?”
His mouth flattened into a thin line. “She’s a client, Natalie.”
“Is that right? Well damn, do you kiss on the necks of all your clients? I’ve been getting jipped.” I couldn’t believe those words just left my mouth and my cheeks flushed immediately, but I stood straight and kept my eyes on his.
He glared at me for a moment, his steady eyes threatening to weaken my resolve, but I remained poignant.
“You shouldn’t be smoking.”
I rolled my eyes at his attempt to change the subject. “I wasn’t smoking. If you hadn’t treated me like the plague and actually talked to me instead, you would know that.”
Again, I was surprised at the words leaving my mouth. They were a hell of a lot more confident than the girl saying them.
“I was just holding the hose for my friend. She doesn’t like to let it touch the table until it’s tapped.” I waved my hands in the air flittingly. “Some weird superstition or something.”
Rhodes kept his eyes on me, looking for a lie that wasn’t there. Finally, he nodded. “Fair enough,” he assessed, then he held out his hand.
I stared at it for a moment before grabbing it and letting him help me down off the machine.
“We need to get your weight. It’s been a week. Come on,” he said, nodding toward the office. “Let’s do it before you drink a bunch of water.”
I followed him back, my hand still tingling from where it had touched his. I couldn’t figure out if I was still angry at him or not, so I kept a frown in place just in case. He was always scowling, maybe I should do the same.
When we reached the office, he pointed to the tall, glass scale as he scoured his desk for my file. I eyed him silently, wondering if I had more questions for him or if I wanted to yell at him again. He had apologized for upsetting me, and he said he believed in me — which was exactly what I needed in that moment, wasn’t it? He was “proud to have me as a client,” which was why he pushed me. Maybe I didn’t need him as a friend, if I could have him as a pillar of support, instead.
It was too much to figure out in that moment, so I sighed and stepped up, closing my eyes as I waited for him to write down what was probably the same number as last week.
“Down eleven pounds,” he said and my eyes shot open. “Nice job.”
I stared at the number on the digital screen, my mouth hanging open. No. Way.
Rhodes let me stare for a moment and, thankfully, he didn’t make fun of me. When it had finally sank in that I was eleven pounds lighter than the week before, I slowly stepped off the scale, wincing at the pain I still felt in my legs after yesterday. Walking in the sand all night probably wasn’t the best way to recover from leg day.
Rhodes must have picked up on my expression. “How do your muscles feel?”
“Tight,” I answered, bracing myself with one hand on the wall as I lifted my foot and pulled it up toward my lower back to stretch out my quad. It killed me just to lift my leg at all. When I pulled it in toward my body, I cried out and let it drop back down to the floor.
Rhodes furrowed his brows. “Follow me.”
We headed back into the gym and I expected him to tell me to jump back on the treadmill, but he grabbed a yoga mat and a tennis ball, instead, before leading me out back to where we had our first outdoor session. I watched his back move as we walked, the muscles flexing beneath the thin fabric of his tattered blue tank top. His skin seemed darker today and I wondered if he had enjoyed the beach yesterday, too.
