What I Need
Page 50
I smile at Beth when Mia moves back around me to reclaim her seat. “I thought you were going to wait until you had a blood test done before you told anybody,” I remind her, thinking it’s odd she’s sharing this right now. I just found out yesterday.
She shrugs. “That was the plan, but I can’t get in to see my doctor for another two weeks. And I took like, nine tests so . . .”
I lean forward and pull her into a hug, both of us giggling and holding tight. “I am so excited and happy for you,” I tell her. “You’re going to be such an amazing mom.”
She is. Beth is so nurturing and gentle and kind. I can totally see her rocking parenthood.
“Thank you,” she speaks against my ear.
“And I’m going to spoil that kid rotten. I’m buying them everything they ask for. I don’t even care.”
Beth laughs as we separate. She sighs, looking almost as happy as she did the day she got married, but her smile fades when she turns her head and looks to Tessa. “What’s the matter?” she asks.
I look across the table then too, catching the last bit of Tessa’s head shake.
“Nothing. That’s great,” she says, breaking a chip in half and then dropping it back onto the stack of nachos, sounding and looking like Beth’s news is anything but great. “I’m really happy for you guys.”
“What’s wrong?” Beth asks her again.
“Nothing,” Tessa repeats, her mouth pulling into a frown. “It’s just, can we like, get some alcohol or something? It’s Friday night. We should be drinking.” She gestures at her glass and then slams back in her chair, drawing her arms across her chest. “Well, you can’t, but I can,” she mumbles through a pout.
“What’s wrong with you?” Mia probes. “Why are you acting like that? This is exciting news. It’s Beth and Reed.”
Tessa’s lips press together and her face falls after hearing that. She pinches her eyes shut, then cuts them to Beth. “Shit. I’m sorry. Just ignore me, Beth. I’m being an asshole.” She leans forward, grabs Beth’s hand that’s on the table and squeezes it between her own. “I’m really happy for you guys. I am. I promise. It’s just . . .” Tessa’s eyes fall away. “We’ve been trying, and I just got my stupid period again yesterday.”
“You and Luke are trying to get pregnant?” Beth asks. “I didn’t know that.”
Tessa nods. She releases Beth’s hand and slumps back into her seat again.
“Sweetie,” Mia soothes, reaching out and rubbing Tessa’s arm.
“I don’t get it,” Tessa begins. Her voice is soft against the music playing overhead, and I have to sit forward to hear her. “When I didn’t even know if Luke and I were serious or not, I thought I was pregnant. We weren’t trying then. Now I’m off my birth control, we’re having sex every five minutes, and I can’t get knocked up. What the hell?”
“How long have you been trying?” I ask.
“Not long, but still.” Tessa gestures with her hand, as if to say any explanation for this isn’t good enough. “I’m young. I’m fertile. Luke has a sex drive like he’s just gone through puberty. I should be able to get pregnant like that.” She snaps her fingers. “No problem.”
“I think you’re stressing out too much,” Mia offers. “That can mess with things. Make it take longer than it should. I’ve read about that.”
“Yeah, I've heard that. I think I saw it on Grey’s Anatomy too,” I share, trying to recall that episode.
“See!” Mia smiles at me, then looks back to Tessa, saying, “Grey’s Anatomy. You love that show.”
My reference doesn’t seem to ease Tessa’s mind any. Still pouting, she looks down at a spot on the table. “I want a family with him so bad,” she shares, voice heartbreaking. “What if I can’t give him one?”
Her question lingers heavy in the air. I don’t know what to say, and neither does Mia. She’s beginning to look just as sad, as if she’s now unsure herself and worrying the same thing. The only comfort she can provide is her touch on Tessa’s arm. That’s it.
Someone has to say something. I look to Beth, hoping she has some comforting words to offer up, but she’s too busy chewing on her cuticle and looking on the verge of gnawing her entire thumb off.
Damn it. What episode was that? Was it Izzy? I feel like it was Izzy . . .
“Well, Riley is living with CJ,” Beth throws out like a grenade she wants to blow me apart with.
WHAT?
I cut my eyes to her as Tessa and Mia gasp in shock. “What the hell, Beth?” I snap. I can’t believe she just blurted that out! “I told you that in confidence.”
She shrugs and continues chewing on her thumb, still looking as uneasy as she did a minute ago.
“Wow. I had no idea,” Mia softly proclaims.
“Hold the fuck up,” Tessa bites out, drawing my attention to her. She’s sitting up now and on the edge of her seat. “We’re over here talking about how I can’t get knocked up, killing the mood and making each and every one of us depressed on girl’s night—a night that is always about a good time—and you’re sitting on a secret that juicy? What gives, Tennyson?”
I open my mouth to explain, I think—really, I have nothing planned—when my big blabber-mouthed sister in law cuts me off.
“She slept with him at the wedding too.”
“Beth!” I slap the table and glare at her. What in the world? “What is wrong with you? Do you need to go sit at another table?”
“Oh, yeah, I knew about that,” Mia throws out, sounding confident.
“What?” Tessa’s voice cuts through the air, demanding attention, but I keep my focus on Beth.
Eyes on me, soft and pleading for understanding, she mouths “sorry”, and I get it then. Her uneasiness. The harm to her poor thumbnail. She was wanting to get Tessa’s mind off all the pregnancy talk. Beth felt bad about her announcement and the pain it was causing her friend. That’s why she gave up my secret.
I sigh, shoulders sagging as I shake my head at her, but I lose my anger. This is Beth. She didn’t do it to be mean.
But God . . . damn it. Now everyone knows.
She shrugs. “That was the plan, but I can’t get in to see my doctor for another two weeks. And I took like, nine tests so . . .”
I lean forward and pull her into a hug, both of us giggling and holding tight. “I am so excited and happy for you,” I tell her. “You’re going to be such an amazing mom.”
She is. Beth is so nurturing and gentle and kind. I can totally see her rocking parenthood.
“Thank you,” she speaks against my ear.
“And I’m going to spoil that kid rotten. I’m buying them everything they ask for. I don’t even care.”
Beth laughs as we separate. She sighs, looking almost as happy as she did the day she got married, but her smile fades when she turns her head and looks to Tessa. “What’s the matter?” she asks.
I look across the table then too, catching the last bit of Tessa’s head shake.
“Nothing. That’s great,” she says, breaking a chip in half and then dropping it back onto the stack of nachos, sounding and looking like Beth’s news is anything but great. “I’m really happy for you guys.”
“What’s wrong?” Beth asks her again.
“Nothing,” Tessa repeats, her mouth pulling into a frown. “It’s just, can we like, get some alcohol or something? It’s Friday night. We should be drinking.” She gestures at her glass and then slams back in her chair, drawing her arms across her chest. “Well, you can’t, but I can,” she mumbles through a pout.
“What’s wrong with you?” Mia probes. “Why are you acting like that? This is exciting news. It’s Beth and Reed.”
Tessa’s lips press together and her face falls after hearing that. She pinches her eyes shut, then cuts them to Beth. “Shit. I’m sorry. Just ignore me, Beth. I’m being an asshole.” She leans forward, grabs Beth’s hand that’s on the table and squeezes it between her own. “I’m really happy for you guys. I am. I promise. It’s just . . .” Tessa’s eyes fall away. “We’ve been trying, and I just got my stupid period again yesterday.”
“You and Luke are trying to get pregnant?” Beth asks. “I didn’t know that.”
Tessa nods. She releases Beth’s hand and slumps back into her seat again.
“Sweetie,” Mia soothes, reaching out and rubbing Tessa’s arm.
“I don’t get it,” Tessa begins. Her voice is soft against the music playing overhead, and I have to sit forward to hear her. “When I didn’t even know if Luke and I were serious or not, I thought I was pregnant. We weren’t trying then. Now I’m off my birth control, we’re having sex every five minutes, and I can’t get knocked up. What the hell?”
“How long have you been trying?” I ask.
“Not long, but still.” Tessa gestures with her hand, as if to say any explanation for this isn’t good enough. “I’m young. I’m fertile. Luke has a sex drive like he’s just gone through puberty. I should be able to get pregnant like that.” She snaps her fingers. “No problem.”
“I think you’re stressing out too much,” Mia offers. “That can mess with things. Make it take longer than it should. I’ve read about that.”
“Yeah, I've heard that. I think I saw it on Grey’s Anatomy too,” I share, trying to recall that episode.
“See!” Mia smiles at me, then looks back to Tessa, saying, “Grey’s Anatomy. You love that show.”
My reference doesn’t seem to ease Tessa’s mind any. Still pouting, she looks down at a spot on the table. “I want a family with him so bad,” she shares, voice heartbreaking. “What if I can’t give him one?”
Her question lingers heavy in the air. I don’t know what to say, and neither does Mia. She’s beginning to look just as sad, as if she’s now unsure herself and worrying the same thing. The only comfort she can provide is her touch on Tessa’s arm. That’s it.
Someone has to say something. I look to Beth, hoping she has some comforting words to offer up, but she’s too busy chewing on her cuticle and looking on the verge of gnawing her entire thumb off.
Damn it. What episode was that? Was it Izzy? I feel like it was Izzy . . .
“Well, Riley is living with CJ,” Beth throws out like a grenade she wants to blow me apart with.
WHAT?
I cut my eyes to her as Tessa and Mia gasp in shock. “What the hell, Beth?” I snap. I can’t believe she just blurted that out! “I told you that in confidence.”
She shrugs and continues chewing on her thumb, still looking as uneasy as she did a minute ago.
“Wow. I had no idea,” Mia softly proclaims.
“Hold the fuck up,” Tessa bites out, drawing my attention to her. She’s sitting up now and on the edge of her seat. “We’re over here talking about how I can’t get knocked up, killing the mood and making each and every one of us depressed on girl’s night—a night that is always about a good time—and you’re sitting on a secret that juicy? What gives, Tennyson?”
I open my mouth to explain, I think—really, I have nothing planned—when my big blabber-mouthed sister in law cuts me off.
“She slept with him at the wedding too.”
“Beth!” I slap the table and glare at her. What in the world? “What is wrong with you? Do you need to go sit at another table?”
“Oh, yeah, I knew about that,” Mia throws out, sounding confident.
“What?” Tessa’s voice cuts through the air, demanding attention, but I keep my focus on Beth.
Eyes on me, soft and pleading for understanding, she mouths “sorry”, and I get it then. Her uneasiness. The harm to her poor thumbnail. She was wanting to get Tessa’s mind off all the pregnancy talk. Beth felt bad about her announcement and the pain it was causing her friend. That’s why she gave up my secret.
I sigh, shoulders sagging as I shake my head at her, but I lose my anger. This is Beth. She didn’t do it to be mean.
But God . . . damn it. Now everyone knows.
