What's Left of Me
Page 42
Just before Parker picks me up, she sends me a text reminding me to wear something sexy. In her eyes, this means as short a dress as possible. In my eyes, it means dark skinny jeans, a black tank top with a jeweled skull on the front that I borrowed from Genna, black ballerina flats, silver hoops, and a long, black, studded necklace.
I offered to drive to the twin cities, but in true gentleman form, Parker wouldn’t have anything of the sort.
Parker and I spend the evening prior talking on the phone. I feel like I’m sixteen again, having butterflies and the excitement of something new. I didn’t think I could be that girl again: the girl who lies on her stomach with her feet in the air, kicking back and forth while she giggles into the phone.
He tells me a little bit about his family, and I tell him even less about mine. He knows just the questions to ask and the ones to stay away from. When he brings up my true passion, reading, he can’t get me to shut up, and he laughs at my enthusiasm. I can’t pick a favorite book, explaining that it’s not about what or who is the best, but rather the story itself. Each book is different and unique, bringing out the best emotions in me. I love getting pulled out of reality—away from the reminders of my pain.
When I tell him I read at least three books a week, he’s astonished. The only thing I can say in response is my favorite quote by Madeleine L’Engle.
“A book, too, can be a star, a living fire to lighten the darkness, leading out into the expanding universe.”
That sums it all up for me.
Tapping my foot against the seat to the beat of the music, I can’t get Wednesday out of my head. My drugs are being changed to something stronger for my last two rounds. Dr. Olson explained that in order to get my body prepared for the blood cells to be transferred back, I will need two different rounds of drugs, with the last two being the strongest. All I took from that was the word strongest. That means intense symptoms—or, worse, new ones.
I’ll get through. I always do. But I’m not sure I’m ready to give up my time with Parker.
“What are you thinking about?” Parker asks, breaking my stare out the window. He’s wearing a blue and brown polo shirt and jeans, with his hair gelled just the way I like—messy, but sexy.
“Nothing important.” Trying to figure out how to spend time with you while being sick. “You?”
“This week. Do you have class Wednesday?”
“Yeah. I won’t be in the rest of the week. Maybe not the following one either.”
“Why not next week?”
“I have a test and a project due that I need to spend some time on.” That’s kind of the truth. I do have a test and a project, but it’s not due for another three weeks, so I have plenty of time to procrastinate.
“Hmm. Well, you might need a dinner or movie break. You know, to clear your head.”
“Yeah, I think I might.” I give him a hopeful smile.
Or maybe it’s for myself.
Parker reaches over, taking my hand in his. We stay like that for the rest of the ride.
The restaurant is a small Mexican place with a mariachi band moving from table to table. Jean and her date haven’t arrived yet, but we’re seated right away.
“Are you coming to the Halloween benefit for The Love of Paws?”
“I didn’t know anything about it?”
“Really? I was sure Genna would have mentioned it to you.”
“No, she didn’t.” She probably figures I’ll be at home, curled up with my Kindle and not feeling well. That’s one of the hard things I have to deal with. People going out, having parties, and attending fun events without me. I’ve become a forgotten soul. Someone who will likely be too sick to go, so they don’t even bother inviting me.
“It’s two weeks before Halloween. Saturday. I can’t remember the date offhand. Nineteenth? Eighteenth, maybe?” He laughs at himself. “You’d think because it’s our benefit I would remember the damn date. Anyway, it’s at the Landon Hotel and costumes are required. We’ll have door prizes, silent auctions, a live band, drinks, and dinner. Bryn mentioned something about a contest for best male and female costumes, too. It should be a fun night! All proceeds go toward the practice.”
“Bryn?” Yes, I had to go there. Why is she suggesting ideas for their benefit?
“The benefit was all Bryn’s idea.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun.” Of course a beautiful girl like her would have a great idea like that. She comes across as the type of girl who needs to be the center of attention in all that she does. It wouldn’t surprise me if she went in a bra and thong to channel her inner Lady Gaga.
“What do you say?”
“I’m sorry, what?”
He laughs. “To going? With me?”
Did he really ask me that? I must have been so caught up in my thoughts about Bryn that I wasn’t paying attention.
“Oh. Um.” I count the dates in my head. That would be the weekend right after my last chemo treatment. No wonder Genna didn’t tell me about it. She knew I would be too sick to go. “Maybe. I’m not sure what my school schedule will be like. That’s right around mid-semester break, so I might have a big test or a project to do.”
I’m disappointed. I really want to go to the benefit. Halloween is my favorite holiday. Costumes, parties, decorating; it’s all entertaining to me. I’ve never missed a year of dressing up. I even went as Uncle Fester one year. It was the only time I went out in public with no hair. No one looked at me as if I was sick or like I didn’t belong. My mom did my makeup to make it look as if I was wearing a bald cap. It was one of my favorite Halloweens.
I offered to drive to the twin cities, but in true gentleman form, Parker wouldn’t have anything of the sort.
Parker and I spend the evening prior talking on the phone. I feel like I’m sixteen again, having butterflies and the excitement of something new. I didn’t think I could be that girl again: the girl who lies on her stomach with her feet in the air, kicking back and forth while she giggles into the phone.
He tells me a little bit about his family, and I tell him even less about mine. He knows just the questions to ask and the ones to stay away from. When he brings up my true passion, reading, he can’t get me to shut up, and he laughs at my enthusiasm. I can’t pick a favorite book, explaining that it’s not about what or who is the best, but rather the story itself. Each book is different and unique, bringing out the best emotions in me. I love getting pulled out of reality—away from the reminders of my pain.
When I tell him I read at least three books a week, he’s astonished. The only thing I can say in response is my favorite quote by Madeleine L’Engle.
“A book, too, can be a star, a living fire to lighten the darkness, leading out into the expanding universe.”
That sums it all up for me.
Tapping my foot against the seat to the beat of the music, I can’t get Wednesday out of my head. My drugs are being changed to something stronger for my last two rounds. Dr. Olson explained that in order to get my body prepared for the blood cells to be transferred back, I will need two different rounds of drugs, with the last two being the strongest. All I took from that was the word strongest. That means intense symptoms—or, worse, new ones.
I’ll get through. I always do. But I’m not sure I’m ready to give up my time with Parker.
“What are you thinking about?” Parker asks, breaking my stare out the window. He’s wearing a blue and brown polo shirt and jeans, with his hair gelled just the way I like—messy, but sexy.
“Nothing important.” Trying to figure out how to spend time with you while being sick. “You?”
“This week. Do you have class Wednesday?”
“Yeah. I won’t be in the rest of the week. Maybe not the following one either.”
“Why not next week?”
“I have a test and a project due that I need to spend some time on.” That’s kind of the truth. I do have a test and a project, but it’s not due for another three weeks, so I have plenty of time to procrastinate.
“Hmm. Well, you might need a dinner or movie break. You know, to clear your head.”
“Yeah, I think I might.” I give him a hopeful smile.
Or maybe it’s for myself.
Parker reaches over, taking my hand in his. We stay like that for the rest of the ride.
The restaurant is a small Mexican place with a mariachi band moving from table to table. Jean and her date haven’t arrived yet, but we’re seated right away.
“Are you coming to the Halloween benefit for The Love of Paws?”
“I didn’t know anything about it?”
“Really? I was sure Genna would have mentioned it to you.”
“No, she didn’t.” She probably figures I’ll be at home, curled up with my Kindle and not feeling well. That’s one of the hard things I have to deal with. People going out, having parties, and attending fun events without me. I’ve become a forgotten soul. Someone who will likely be too sick to go, so they don’t even bother inviting me.
“It’s two weeks before Halloween. Saturday. I can’t remember the date offhand. Nineteenth? Eighteenth, maybe?” He laughs at himself. “You’d think because it’s our benefit I would remember the damn date. Anyway, it’s at the Landon Hotel and costumes are required. We’ll have door prizes, silent auctions, a live band, drinks, and dinner. Bryn mentioned something about a contest for best male and female costumes, too. It should be a fun night! All proceeds go toward the practice.”
“Bryn?” Yes, I had to go there. Why is she suggesting ideas for their benefit?
“The benefit was all Bryn’s idea.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun.” Of course a beautiful girl like her would have a great idea like that. She comes across as the type of girl who needs to be the center of attention in all that she does. It wouldn’t surprise me if she went in a bra and thong to channel her inner Lady Gaga.
“What do you say?”
“I’m sorry, what?”
He laughs. “To going? With me?”
Did he really ask me that? I must have been so caught up in my thoughts about Bryn that I wasn’t paying attention.
“Oh. Um.” I count the dates in my head. That would be the weekend right after my last chemo treatment. No wonder Genna didn’t tell me about it. She knew I would be too sick to go. “Maybe. I’m not sure what my school schedule will be like. That’s right around mid-semester break, so I might have a big test or a project to do.”
I’m disappointed. I really want to go to the benefit. Halloween is my favorite holiday. Costumes, parties, decorating; it’s all entertaining to me. I’ve never missed a year of dressing up. I even went as Uncle Fester one year. It was the only time I went out in public with no hair. No one looked at me as if I was sick or like I didn’t belong. My mom did my makeup to make it look as if I was wearing a bald cap. It was one of my favorite Halloweens.
