What's Left of Me
Page 45
“Multiple?”
“You had the hockey game with dinner, dinner at his house, the rock show, and various lunches.”
“The hockey scrimmage was just a friend thing. And his place wasn’t a date.”
“Right, okay. Well, you’ve gone out twice, talk every day, and see each other almost every day at the clinic.”
“Aundrea! Stop talking to your sister and talk to me.” My mom speaks into the phone.
Laughing, I apologize. I tell her a little about Parker, but make it very clear that we’re nothing more than friends. The last thing I want is to get her hopes up about me dating.
When I hang up with my mom, Genna is staring at me.
“What?”
“You.”
“What did I do?” I ask.
She shakes her head.
“What?” I ask again.
“Did you tell him about your cancer?”
Your? Like I own it?
“No. There’s no reason to tell him right now. We’re just hanging out and having a good time.”
“Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Lie to yourself?”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. Aundrea, all I’ve wanted is to see you be happy, and I finally see it. The way you come home happy after being at the clinic all day. The laughing on the phone with him. The way you smile when Jason mentions his name. How you get excited and take forever to find something to wear when you know you’re going to see him. Whatever is going on between you and Parker, it’s a lot more than just hanging out and having a good time.”
She’s right, but I’m too scared to admit it myself.
“I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but you should think about telling him before things turn serious.”
“Things won’t turn serious. I won’t allow that.”
“I love you, Dre. I will support you in anything you do. But sometimes things happen that are out of our control.”
I don’t add to the conversation.
Shaking my head, I make my way to my room to get ready for my date with Parker.
My third round of chemo is postponed because my white blood cells are too low. I was given a shot of Neulasta to boost the blood counts. Dr. Olson says I need to wait another week for my counts to get higher. With the drugs I’m going to be getting, I have to be above a certain level, and right now I’m walking on a thin border.
Taking a week off means my treatment will obviously be prolonged, but I look at it as another week to spend with Parker. It’s one more week I can feel good and forget what’s to come.
I’m not even out of the hospital for thirty seconds before I text him to ask when our next date will be.
Me: When can I see you again?
Mr. Handsome: When do you want to see me?
Me: Tonight?
Mr. Handsome: I have a lot of bitches to see … Dogs that is.
I roll my eyes and let out a small laugh at his horrible sense of humor.
Me: Tomorrow night?
Mr. Handsome: I can’t. Bryn, Jason and I have meetings for the fundraiser. You won’t be in tomorrow?
I could go in, but Genna asked if I wanted to go shopping with her instead. I really want a girl’s day. Knowing I won’t see him much anyway at the clinic, I make my decision.
Me: I’m going to go shopping with Genna tomorrow.
Mr. Handsome: Pick you up Friday night?
Me: Perfect!
Mr. Handsome: I’ll call you later.
Me: :)
Bryn. She’s really not that bad. She just gets under my skin. Like a parasite. She knows just how to warm up to the host and latch on. She’s being nice to me, including me in in her conversations with Shannon during lunch; I even got invited to another one of her parties coming up. But I’m not sure if she actually likes me or if she’s just keeping the enemy close.
When Friday night arrives, I decide on dark jeans, heels, a white baby doll top, and a colorful fall scarf. Considering I have no idea where I’m going, I try to look casual, yet put together.
At seven o’clock, headlights make their way up the driveway. It’s starting to get dark earlier, making it seem much later than it is.
“Hi,” I say as I greet Parker. I don’t let him make it all the way up the sidewalk before grabbing his arm and turning him back toward his car. Last I checked, Genna was upstairs doing whatever it is she does, and I’d like to keep her there.
“You going to tell me where we’re going?” I ask once we’re on the road.
“Not yet. You’ll see soon enough. It’s not that far.”
I look at the radio, noticing it’s off.
“What? No rap tonight?”
“Nah, I figured I’d let you pick the station tonight.”
“Aw, how thoughtful,” I joke, reaching forward to turn it on. I scan the XM radio.
Settling on Today’s Hits, I sit back and listen to the newest Katy Perry song. I start mouthing the words until I notice Parker is watching me.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He smiles.
“You’re really not going to tell me where we’re going?”
“Really.”
“What if I hate it?”
“Doubtful.”
“That confident?”
“Always.”
“Cocky is more like it.”
He chuckles.
My hands are clasped together and resting in my lap, my foot is twitching, and my eyes are roaming. I’m nervous. Parker didn’t tell me what the plan was, and it freaks me out not knowing.
“You had the hockey game with dinner, dinner at his house, the rock show, and various lunches.”
“The hockey scrimmage was just a friend thing. And his place wasn’t a date.”
“Right, okay. Well, you’ve gone out twice, talk every day, and see each other almost every day at the clinic.”
“Aundrea! Stop talking to your sister and talk to me.” My mom speaks into the phone.
Laughing, I apologize. I tell her a little about Parker, but make it very clear that we’re nothing more than friends. The last thing I want is to get her hopes up about me dating.
When I hang up with my mom, Genna is staring at me.
“What?”
“You.”
“What did I do?” I ask.
She shakes her head.
“What?” I ask again.
“Did you tell him about your cancer?”
Your? Like I own it?
“No. There’s no reason to tell him right now. We’re just hanging out and having a good time.”
“Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Lie to yourself?”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. Aundrea, all I’ve wanted is to see you be happy, and I finally see it. The way you come home happy after being at the clinic all day. The laughing on the phone with him. The way you smile when Jason mentions his name. How you get excited and take forever to find something to wear when you know you’re going to see him. Whatever is going on between you and Parker, it’s a lot more than just hanging out and having a good time.”
She’s right, but I’m too scared to admit it myself.
“I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but you should think about telling him before things turn serious.”
“Things won’t turn serious. I won’t allow that.”
“I love you, Dre. I will support you in anything you do. But sometimes things happen that are out of our control.”
I don’t add to the conversation.
Shaking my head, I make my way to my room to get ready for my date with Parker.
My third round of chemo is postponed because my white blood cells are too low. I was given a shot of Neulasta to boost the blood counts. Dr. Olson says I need to wait another week for my counts to get higher. With the drugs I’m going to be getting, I have to be above a certain level, and right now I’m walking on a thin border.
Taking a week off means my treatment will obviously be prolonged, but I look at it as another week to spend with Parker. It’s one more week I can feel good and forget what’s to come.
I’m not even out of the hospital for thirty seconds before I text him to ask when our next date will be.
Me: When can I see you again?
Mr. Handsome: When do you want to see me?
Me: Tonight?
Mr. Handsome: I have a lot of bitches to see … Dogs that is.
I roll my eyes and let out a small laugh at his horrible sense of humor.
Me: Tomorrow night?
Mr. Handsome: I can’t. Bryn, Jason and I have meetings for the fundraiser. You won’t be in tomorrow?
I could go in, but Genna asked if I wanted to go shopping with her instead. I really want a girl’s day. Knowing I won’t see him much anyway at the clinic, I make my decision.
Me: I’m going to go shopping with Genna tomorrow.
Mr. Handsome: Pick you up Friday night?
Me: Perfect!
Mr. Handsome: I’ll call you later.
Me: :)
Bryn. She’s really not that bad. She just gets under my skin. Like a parasite. She knows just how to warm up to the host and latch on. She’s being nice to me, including me in in her conversations with Shannon during lunch; I even got invited to another one of her parties coming up. But I’m not sure if she actually likes me or if she’s just keeping the enemy close.
When Friday night arrives, I decide on dark jeans, heels, a white baby doll top, and a colorful fall scarf. Considering I have no idea where I’m going, I try to look casual, yet put together.
At seven o’clock, headlights make their way up the driveway. It’s starting to get dark earlier, making it seem much later than it is.
“Hi,” I say as I greet Parker. I don’t let him make it all the way up the sidewalk before grabbing his arm and turning him back toward his car. Last I checked, Genna was upstairs doing whatever it is she does, and I’d like to keep her there.
“You going to tell me where we’re going?” I ask once we’re on the road.
“Not yet. You’ll see soon enough. It’s not that far.”
I look at the radio, noticing it’s off.
“What? No rap tonight?”
“Nah, I figured I’d let you pick the station tonight.”
“Aw, how thoughtful,” I joke, reaching forward to turn it on. I scan the XM radio.
Settling on Today’s Hits, I sit back and listen to the newest Katy Perry song. I start mouthing the words until I notice Parker is watching me.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He smiles.
“You’re really not going to tell me where we’re going?”
“Really.”
“What if I hate it?”
“Doubtful.”
“That confident?”
“Always.”
“Cocky is more like it.”
He chuckles.
My hands are clasped together and resting in my lap, my foot is twitching, and my eyes are roaming. I’m nervous. Parker didn’t tell me what the plan was, and it freaks me out not knowing.
