What's Left of Us
Page 15
“Here is our packet.” She hands us a folder containing a thick stack of papers and three brochures: Coping with Your Surrogate, Is Surrogacy Right for You, and Finding the Perfect Match. We scoot our chairs closer together to look it over.
“You’re looking at about a year and half to two years until you have a baby in your arms. However, you need to understand that this is just a general time frame we give all our clients.”
We both nod, flipping through the papers.
I can handle that time frame.
“We will look in our system for a carrier match in the location you requested and set up the meeting for you. If you feel it’s a good match, then the legal contracts will be drawn. As the intended parents, you will cover all legal fees for you and the carrier. She is entitled to use her own lawyer, however, we do offer one to represent all surrogates in our agency if she so chooses.”
“Sure, that won’t be a problem,” Parker says calmly.
I look over at him. Not a problem? We were just approved for a house loan. Does he think we’re growing a money tree?
“Do we need to find our own lawyer, or do you have one that represents the parents too?” I ask.
“Yes, we do work closely with a firm but, again, you’re free to use your own lawyer if you choose. Shall we go through the information?”
Polly goes over the costs, what to expect, and the process, including the exact timeline of the procedure. Parker takes in everything, asking questions and replying to them. I try to write down as much as I can, but mostly I find myself staring at the packet before me, dollar signs flashing off the pages. What it comes down to is that having a baby will cost us somewhere between sixty and eighty thousand dollars. As the intended parents, we’re responsible to cover all agency costs, surrogate fees, medical costs, and insurance coverage, maternity leave, clothing allowance, transportation when necessary, legal and psychiatric evaluation fees.
“There are two types of surrogacy listed. Which one would we be doing?” I ask, pointing at the paper in my hand.
“You’ll go through a Gestational Surrogacy because you already have your eggs and the embryos will be created and implanted into your surrogate. This process can be a little faster, too. There are some hormones your surrogate will need to take to prepare for the implantation but, besides that, you’re looking at saving yourself a few extra months, as well as dollars. Another big savings, of course, is if you have your own surrogate. Have you discussed this? Some use a family member or close friend.” We look at each other. I never even thought about that. “It’s a savings of about twenty-five thousand dollars.”
“No, I don’t think we even thought about asking someone we knew,” Parker says.
Who would we even ask?
“It might be something to discuss. Our requirements are in the back of your packet. The major ones being that she has given birth to a healthy child in the last ten years and is under the age of thirty-two at the time of implantation.”
That leaves out Jean and Shannon.
“How long between pregnancies?” I’m not sure I’d ask Genna, but it might be worth discussing.
“Three months from a vaginal delivery and six months from a C-section. Do you have someone in mind?”
“My sister, but I’m not even sure she’d be up to it. She had a baby a couple months ago, and …” I trail off, unsure what else to add. Parker and I have a lot to discuss and think about.
“If she’s interested, we’d love to meet with her. She’d have to go through psychiatric and physical evaluations first, but it would definitely help your process move along faster.”
“We’ll have to talk about it.”
“You two don’t need to make any decisions today. It’s a lot to take in, so go home, think about it, and call me with any questions. If your sister has any questions she can certainly call too. I know this can all be overwhelming.”
“If we choose not to use a family member, how long are you thinking until we have a surrogate match?” I ask.
“That can be tricky. With your selective area I would anticipate at least four to six months. We have a few in our system in the Minneapolis area but, as of now, they’re already matched. But we do have new clients coming in all the time. It’s rare a match falls through, but it does happen.”
“Okay.” Six months. I can handle that. I mentally make a timeline. We’d have to have contracts drawn up and agreed upon, which could take a while, we’d need a month or two for hormones before the implantation, then at least two weeks until we find out if we’re pregnant, and, if all goes well, a baby nine months later. We’re looking at just under two years. That sounds very reasonable.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. This is good. I feel good about all this.
“That all sounds great,” Parker says, and we smile at one another. I take his hand, giving the back of it a quick peck.
“Good! I’m glad to hear that. So, if you two decide to sign with us, the signing fee we discussed is in the paperwork. We require half at the time of signing, twenty-five percent when the contract with the surrogate is signed, and the last part within seven days of delivery. All other fees associated with the surrogate will be drawn up in the contract.”
I’m excited, but I also can’t help the nerves I feel. I didn’t except this to cost so much. But, then again, can you really put a price on a baby?
We say our goodbyes and Polly walks us out to the waiting area. Parker leads the way to the elevator and to our car.
“You’re looking at about a year and half to two years until you have a baby in your arms. However, you need to understand that this is just a general time frame we give all our clients.”
We both nod, flipping through the papers.
I can handle that time frame.
“We will look in our system for a carrier match in the location you requested and set up the meeting for you. If you feel it’s a good match, then the legal contracts will be drawn. As the intended parents, you will cover all legal fees for you and the carrier. She is entitled to use her own lawyer, however, we do offer one to represent all surrogates in our agency if she so chooses.”
“Sure, that won’t be a problem,” Parker says calmly.
I look over at him. Not a problem? We were just approved for a house loan. Does he think we’re growing a money tree?
“Do we need to find our own lawyer, or do you have one that represents the parents too?” I ask.
“Yes, we do work closely with a firm but, again, you’re free to use your own lawyer if you choose. Shall we go through the information?”
Polly goes over the costs, what to expect, and the process, including the exact timeline of the procedure. Parker takes in everything, asking questions and replying to them. I try to write down as much as I can, but mostly I find myself staring at the packet before me, dollar signs flashing off the pages. What it comes down to is that having a baby will cost us somewhere between sixty and eighty thousand dollars. As the intended parents, we’re responsible to cover all agency costs, surrogate fees, medical costs, and insurance coverage, maternity leave, clothing allowance, transportation when necessary, legal and psychiatric evaluation fees.
“There are two types of surrogacy listed. Which one would we be doing?” I ask, pointing at the paper in my hand.
“You’ll go through a Gestational Surrogacy because you already have your eggs and the embryos will be created and implanted into your surrogate. This process can be a little faster, too. There are some hormones your surrogate will need to take to prepare for the implantation but, besides that, you’re looking at saving yourself a few extra months, as well as dollars. Another big savings, of course, is if you have your own surrogate. Have you discussed this? Some use a family member or close friend.” We look at each other. I never even thought about that. “It’s a savings of about twenty-five thousand dollars.”
“No, I don’t think we even thought about asking someone we knew,” Parker says.
Who would we even ask?
“It might be something to discuss. Our requirements are in the back of your packet. The major ones being that she has given birth to a healthy child in the last ten years and is under the age of thirty-two at the time of implantation.”
That leaves out Jean and Shannon.
“How long between pregnancies?” I’m not sure I’d ask Genna, but it might be worth discussing.
“Three months from a vaginal delivery and six months from a C-section. Do you have someone in mind?”
“My sister, but I’m not even sure she’d be up to it. She had a baby a couple months ago, and …” I trail off, unsure what else to add. Parker and I have a lot to discuss and think about.
“If she’s interested, we’d love to meet with her. She’d have to go through psychiatric and physical evaluations first, but it would definitely help your process move along faster.”
“We’ll have to talk about it.”
“You two don’t need to make any decisions today. It’s a lot to take in, so go home, think about it, and call me with any questions. If your sister has any questions she can certainly call too. I know this can all be overwhelming.”
“If we choose not to use a family member, how long are you thinking until we have a surrogate match?” I ask.
“That can be tricky. With your selective area I would anticipate at least four to six months. We have a few in our system in the Minneapolis area but, as of now, they’re already matched. But we do have new clients coming in all the time. It’s rare a match falls through, but it does happen.”
“Okay.” Six months. I can handle that. I mentally make a timeline. We’d have to have contracts drawn up and agreed upon, which could take a while, we’d need a month or two for hormones before the implantation, then at least two weeks until we find out if we’re pregnant, and, if all goes well, a baby nine months later. We’re looking at just under two years. That sounds very reasonable.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. This is good. I feel good about all this.
“That all sounds great,” Parker says, and we smile at one another. I take his hand, giving the back of it a quick peck.
“Good! I’m glad to hear that. So, if you two decide to sign with us, the signing fee we discussed is in the paperwork. We require half at the time of signing, twenty-five percent when the contract with the surrogate is signed, and the last part within seven days of delivery. All other fees associated with the surrogate will be drawn up in the contract.”
I’m excited, but I also can’t help the nerves I feel. I didn’t except this to cost so much. But, then again, can you really put a price on a baby?
We say our goodbyes and Polly walks us out to the waiting area. Parker leads the way to the elevator and to our car.
