What's Left of Us
Page 41
Death.
It’s easy to forget what matters most when you’re distracted by your deepest fear, which, in my case, is leaving behind everyone I cherish most. Sometimes it’s the most disturbing thoughts that tunnel their way to your core and hold on, no matter how hard you try to shake them.
The afterlife doesn’t scare me. The unknown can be magical when you really think about it. The beauty of possibility.
There are muffled voices around me, yelling and screaming, but my eyes are frozen. I can’t move my head to see who’s speaking. I can’t even be certain where I am at the moment.
I begin to feel like I’m floating and it’s then that I realize I’m being put on a stretcher. There are two men yelling. Why are they yelling? Are they yelling at me?
A cold rush of air startles me as a mask is put over my face. It’s the first time I get a deep, fulfilling breath since this all started.
“You’re going to be okay. Keep your eyes open for me, okay?” one of the men instructs, leaning close to my face.
I try to nod, but he shakes his head. “Don’t try to move.” I go cold, every limb gone numb. Then, pain.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much pain in all my life. It’s as if a hundred men are standing on top of me, stabbing my chest with razor-sharp knives. I swear, with each jab of pain I can hear the crack of the blades stabbing deeper inside of me, slowly ripping me apart. Then the pain pierces my heart and I cry out.
“Someone needs to call Parker!” Genna screams.
The men start running and I feel like I’m flying. The wind washes over me and it’s almost calming.
My surroundings go blurry as I’m lifted. Everything is happening so fast. My shirt is ripped open and freezing stickers are placed on my chest.
Cries fill my ears, drowning out the loud banging from the men moving around. I don’t know where I am, but when I hear my mom say, “Parker, its Aundrea. We’re going to the hospital,” I let my eyes drift closed and just pray the pain will stop. And that Parker will get to me before it’s too late.
“Well, Coco is looking good. I won’t need to see her back for another six months.” I give the black lab a small pat, then smile at its owner, Beth.
“Thanks, Dr. Jackson.”
There’s a loud knock on the exam door.
I open it to see a worried Shannon.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
She pauses before speaking. “The phones are crazy this morning with Aundrea not here, so a few calls have gone to the answering machine. I just checked the messages and there were two, one from Aundrea’s mom and another from Genna.”
I push back the uneasy feeling. “And what did they say?”
“Donna’s said to check your voicemail. Genna’s message was screaming and very difficult to understand. She sounded scared.”
I push past her and run to my office. Shannon yells after me, “I was able to make out that you need to get to the hospital right now!”
I dash around the corner, grab my keys and cell phone, and run to my car.
“Parker!” Jason yells after me. “Genna called me. They’re taking Aundrea to the hospital. She thinks she’s having a heart attack.”
I don’t even stop to reply, just run as fast as I can to my car.
At the car, all the blood rushes out of my head and I’m so dizzy I almost fall forward. My tires squeal as I pull out, that I’m pretty certain I’ve burned rubber marks into the tar. Please let her be okay.
When I’m on the main road, I listen to the voicemail from Donna. It’s only then that I see all my missed calls. Fuck, Aundrea tried to call me! I wasn’t there for her.
Donna says, “Parker, its Aundrea. We’re going to the hospital. It’s her heart.” Her words are so frantic and her voice so worried that I drop the phone. I don’t wait to hear to the rest. I press down hard on the gas, but I’m still not going fast enough.
I need to get to her.
To be with her.
I need to make sure she’s okay.
Her face comes into view, fracturing my thoughts. The smile she gave me this morning. Fuck, I love her smile. Picturing her smiling face makes me think of our wedding day. How happy she was.
How happy we were.
I close my eyes, forcing myself to breathe slowly and deeply. When I open them, all I see is her. My breath catches in the back of my throat. Before me is the woman who has changed me.
I exhale.
She flashes me the biggest smile I’ve ever seen and all I can do is smile back. I can see the spark in her eyes even from this distance, and I swear everything around me just stopped. It’s like she’s walking in slow motion, with eyes only for me. She’s clutching her bouquet so tight her knuckles are white. She’s in the most beautiful pastel pink gown, and it makes her look like a queen. I can’t believe this woman is mine.
I give her a wink and she blows me a kiss. When I give her another smile, her whole face brightens. It makes my heart flip. She can bring me to my knees with that one look. The look that says she can’t imagine being with anyone else; she’s beyond in love with me; she was meant for me.
It’s the look of someone who is hopelessly in love.
There is no one else in the room. It’s only her and me, with our eyes locked on one another. I can feel the pull we have on each other us, drawing her closer to me like a magnet. Aundrea has awakened my soul. She’s the woman that I will spend the rest of my life with. The woman I will love indefinitely.
It’s easy to forget what matters most when you’re distracted by your deepest fear, which, in my case, is leaving behind everyone I cherish most. Sometimes it’s the most disturbing thoughts that tunnel their way to your core and hold on, no matter how hard you try to shake them.
The afterlife doesn’t scare me. The unknown can be magical when you really think about it. The beauty of possibility.
There are muffled voices around me, yelling and screaming, but my eyes are frozen. I can’t move my head to see who’s speaking. I can’t even be certain where I am at the moment.
I begin to feel like I’m floating and it’s then that I realize I’m being put on a stretcher. There are two men yelling. Why are they yelling? Are they yelling at me?
A cold rush of air startles me as a mask is put over my face. It’s the first time I get a deep, fulfilling breath since this all started.
“You’re going to be okay. Keep your eyes open for me, okay?” one of the men instructs, leaning close to my face.
I try to nod, but he shakes his head. “Don’t try to move.” I go cold, every limb gone numb. Then, pain.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much pain in all my life. It’s as if a hundred men are standing on top of me, stabbing my chest with razor-sharp knives. I swear, with each jab of pain I can hear the crack of the blades stabbing deeper inside of me, slowly ripping me apart. Then the pain pierces my heart and I cry out.
“Someone needs to call Parker!” Genna screams.
The men start running and I feel like I’m flying. The wind washes over me and it’s almost calming.
My surroundings go blurry as I’m lifted. Everything is happening so fast. My shirt is ripped open and freezing stickers are placed on my chest.
Cries fill my ears, drowning out the loud banging from the men moving around. I don’t know where I am, but when I hear my mom say, “Parker, its Aundrea. We’re going to the hospital,” I let my eyes drift closed and just pray the pain will stop. And that Parker will get to me before it’s too late.
“Well, Coco is looking good. I won’t need to see her back for another six months.” I give the black lab a small pat, then smile at its owner, Beth.
“Thanks, Dr. Jackson.”
There’s a loud knock on the exam door.
I open it to see a worried Shannon.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
She pauses before speaking. “The phones are crazy this morning with Aundrea not here, so a few calls have gone to the answering machine. I just checked the messages and there were two, one from Aundrea’s mom and another from Genna.”
I push back the uneasy feeling. “And what did they say?”
“Donna’s said to check your voicemail. Genna’s message was screaming and very difficult to understand. She sounded scared.”
I push past her and run to my office. Shannon yells after me, “I was able to make out that you need to get to the hospital right now!”
I dash around the corner, grab my keys and cell phone, and run to my car.
“Parker!” Jason yells after me. “Genna called me. They’re taking Aundrea to the hospital. She thinks she’s having a heart attack.”
I don’t even stop to reply, just run as fast as I can to my car.
At the car, all the blood rushes out of my head and I’m so dizzy I almost fall forward. My tires squeal as I pull out, that I’m pretty certain I’ve burned rubber marks into the tar. Please let her be okay.
When I’m on the main road, I listen to the voicemail from Donna. It’s only then that I see all my missed calls. Fuck, Aundrea tried to call me! I wasn’t there for her.
Donna says, “Parker, its Aundrea. We’re going to the hospital. It’s her heart.” Her words are so frantic and her voice so worried that I drop the phone. I don’t wait to hear to the rest. I press down hard on the gas, but I’m still not going fast enough.
I need to get to her.
To be with her.
I need to make sure she’s okay.
Her face comes into view, fracturing my thoughts. The smile she gave me this morning. Fuck, I love her smile. Picturing her smiling face makes me think of our wedding day. How happy she was.
How happy we were.
I close my eyes, forcing myself to breathe slowly and deeply. When I open them, all I see is her. My breath catches in the back of my throat. Before me is the woman who has changed me.
I exhale.
She flashes me the biggest smile I’ve ever seen and all I can do is smile back. I can see the spark in her eyes even from this distance, and I swear everything around me just stopped. It’s like she’s walking in slow motion, with eyes only for me. She’s clutching her bouquet so tight her knuckles are white. She’s in the most beautiful pastel pink gown, and it makes her look like a queen. I can’t believe this woman is mine.
I give her a wink and she blows me a kiss. When I give her another smile, her whole face brightens. It makes my heart flip. She can bring me to my knees with that one look. The look that says she can’t imagine being with anyone else; she’s beyond in love with me; she was meant for me.
It’s the look of someone who is hopelessly in love.
There is no one else in the room. It’s only her and me, with our eyes locked on one another. I can feel the pull we have on each other us, drawing her closer to me like a magnet. Aundrea has awakened my soul. She’s the woman that I will spend the rest of my life with. The woman I will love indefinitely.
