When I Fall
Page 42
“What did he say?” I ask, leaning forward.
Tessa tries hard to fight her smile, but it breaks through, lifting the corner of her mouth. “He looked up, gave me that cocky smirk he’s always wearing, and said ‘babe,’ like come on. In Home Depot?” Her hand flattens on her chest. “I would have been ecstatic to be proposed to in the lumber aisle.”
I laugh quietly, as does Mia who dabs her napkin against her mouth.
“I think he’s planning something big, and that’s why he hasn’t asked you,” she says, setting her napkin next to her plate. “Something crazy romantic.”
Tessa picks up her sandwich. “Whatever. I don’t need anything big, or romantic. It’s Luke. I’d say yes to him if he decided to pop the question while he was on the toilet.”
“Well, that’s romantic for sure,” I chuckle. “Babe, will you hand me the toilet paper, and your hand in marriage?”
Tessa and Mia both burst out laughing.
“I like you, Clapton.” Tessa points at me, lifting her head off Mia’s shoulder. “You’re funny.”
I look down at my plate as something warm blooms in my chest.
How is it that everyone in this town holds the capability of making me feel like I’ve known them my entire life? No awkwardness. No forced conversations. I don’t have a lifetime of memories with these girls, but I feel like I easily could.
A throat clearing draws my attention up and immediately to Tessa, who is leaning on her hand and staring at me. I shift my gaze to Mia, who is also staring, her arms crossed over her chest as she sits back in her chair.
How long have they been doing that?
“Is there something on my face?” I ask.
Tessa cranes her neck to look at Mia. Mia looks from Tessa, to me. They both smile at the same time, and it hits me.
Girl talk equals boy talk.
Oh, God no.
I sit back in my chair, my shoulders drop, and I glance apprehensively between the two of them, waiting for the first question to be thrown at me. Maybe they won’t ask me about the party.
“So, what happened the other night at the party?”
Son of a . . .
My hands tangle together in my lap as I look up at Mia, her eyes expectantly waiting for my response. I’m not a horrible liar. I could attempt to lie my way through this. Save any shred of dignity I have left.
“Mm? Party?” I lift my shoulders. “Nothing. Typical party stuff.”
Tessa points a finger at me. “Typical party stuff, my ass. This is girl talk. What is said at this table, stays at this table. And we’re not getting shit from Reed, so you’re going to tell us everything that happened.”
My stomach knots up. “You spoke to Reed?” I ask, watching both of them slowly nod. I suddenly wish I still had an empty stomach. Throwing up all over this kitchen might eliminate my chances of getting another invite to hang out.
Mia sighs, shifting her arms across her body. “He’s avoiding me now. The jerk won’t answer any of my texts.” She looks at Tessa. “When was the last time you spoke to him?”
“Yesterday.” She pops a chip into her mouth. “I called him from my mom’s cell. I knew he’d answer it ‘cause he wouldn’t recognize the number. The bastard hung up on me when I started talking.” Tessa brushes her hands off over the plate and pushes it away. “This is what we know,” she says, narrowing in on me as she braces her elbows on the table.
Air becomes lodged in my throat as I reflexively hold my breath.
She gives me a soft smile. Relax, Clapton. It’s not that bad.
My lips pull down. It is though.
“We know that Molly is marrying the fuckwad she cheated on Reed with. We also know, which this next little nugget of information seriously pissed me the hell off, that Reed proposed to that bitchasaurus before she left for college, and that the party was at the same spot he pulled that stunt at.” Tessa’s eyes narrow. “Seriously? I can not believe he kept that shit from me. We’ve been best friends since ninth grade.”
“He was probably embarrassed,” Mia says, somberly. “I know I’d be embarrassed if someone rejected me like that.”
“He loved her,” I add, looking between the two sets of eyes trained on me. I sink a little lower in my chair. “He told me he was stupid for doing it, but I think it really hurt him when she turned him down.”
Tessa shakes her head, disagreeing. “Molly is the world’s biggest cunt hair. Reed would’ve been miserable with her. Hell, half the time they were together he was miserable. She did him a huge favor by turning him down.”
Mia cringes. “Cunt hair? You say the sickest stuff sometimes.”
“I waited until you were done eating.”
The two of them share a laugh, then Tessa turns back to me. “Anyway, that’s all he gave us. I don’t need to be a mind reader to know something happened between you two.”
I try to focus on anything besides the two eager faces staring at me, but my eyes are all over the place. My lap. The window. The sandwich I want to keep eating, if only to prevent my words from being understood. I’m uneasy, and I’m not hiding it well. My face is burning up, I’m chewing a hole in my bottom lip. I probably look psychotic right now.
“Beth.”
I look across the table at Mia, lifting my eyes off the glass vase centerpiece.
“Whatever you’re about to say, stays between us. We would never say anything to Reed or anybody else. Okay?”
I take in a deep breath, exhaling it slowly. My eyes fall closed as I drop my head. “We had sex all night and Reed doesn’t remember any of it.”
Silence. Dead silence, as if both of them have ceased breathing.
I peek up and see two sets of eyes, waiting for further explanation. Groaning, I plant my elbows on the table and let my face fall into my hands.
Just get it over with. Like a band-aid. Rip this shit right off.
“Reed freaked out a little at the party when he saw Molly’s fiancé. It’s like everything came to a head and he couldn’t handle it anymore. I pulled him into the farmhouse and things . . . happened. Just like touching and stuff. He wanted to drink after that so we went to the bar. I knew he was feeling the alcohol, but I didn’t think he was completely wasted. When I drove him home, he asked me to stay, and I did. I asked him if he was drunk, he said no.” I look at them between my fingers.
“And . . .” Tessa urges.
I pinch my eyes closed. “I’ve never had sex like that. He was everywhere, all over me, touching me, saying the dirtiest stuff while he held me down. He tied me up and fucked me for what felt like hours. We did it in every room, every position . . .” I swallow hard. “Everywhere. He was so turned on and I was so turned on, and it was like we were racing each other to see who could come the most. I think we tied, maybe, I don’t know. Honestly, I lost count. It was filthy and perfect and I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t know what I was expecting the next morning, but him not remembering what we did wasn’t it. It was so, so embarrassing. I got out of there while he was puking in the bathroom and I haven’t talked to him since.”
My breath against my face becomes too much, too thick, too suffocating. I lower my hands to allow the cool air to hit me.
Tessa tries hard to fight her smile, but it breaks through, lifting the corner of her mouth. “He looked up, gave me that cocky smirk he’s always wearing, and said ‘babe,’ like come on. In Home Depot?” Her hand flattens on her chest. “I would have been ecstatic to be proposed to in the lumber aisle.”
I laugh quietly, as does Mia who dabs her napkin against her mouth.
“I think he’s planning something big, and that’s why he hasn’t asked you,” she says, setting her napkin next to her plate. “Something crazy romantic.”
Tessa picks up her sandwich. “Whatever. I don’t need anything big, or romantic. It’s Luke. I’d say yes to him if he decided to pop the question while he was on the toilet.”
“Well, that’s romantic for sure,” I chuckle. “Babe, will you hand me the toilet paper, and your hand in marriage?”
Tessa and Mia both burst out laughing.
“I like you, Clapton.” Tessa points at me, lifting her head off Mia’s shoulder. “You’re funny.”
I look down at my plate as something warm blooms in my chest.
How is it that everyone in this town holds the capability of making me feel like I’ve known them my entire life? No awkwardness. No forced conversations. I don’t have a lifetime of memories with these girls, but I feel like I easily could.
A throat clearing draws my attention up and immediately to Tessa, who is leaning on her hand and staring at me. I shift my gaze to Mia, who is also staring, her arms crossed over her chest as she sits back in her chair.
How long have they been doing that?
“Is there something on my face?” I ask.
Tessa cranes her neck to look at Mia. Mia looks from Tessa, to me. They both smile at the same time, and it hits me.
Girl talk equals boy talk.
Oh, God no.
I sit back in my chair, my shoulders drop, and I glance apprehensively between the two of them, waiting for the first question to be thrown at me. Maybe they won’t ask me about the party.
“So, what happened the other night at the party?”
Son of a . . .
My hands tangle together in my lap as I look up at Mia, her eyes expectantly waiting for my response. I’m not a horrible liar. I could attempt to lie my way through this. Save any shred of dignity I have left.
“Mm? Party?” I lift my shoulders. “Nothing. Typical party stuff.”
Tessa points a finger at me. “Typical party stuff, my ass. This is girl talk. What is said at this table, stays at this table. And we’re not getting shit from Reed, so you’re going to tell us everything that happened.”
My stomach knots up. “You spoke to Reed?” I ask, watching both of them slowly nod. I suddenly wish I still had an empty stomach. Throwing up all over this kitchen might eliminate my chances of getting another invite to hang out.
Mia sighs, shifting her arms across her body. “He’s avoiding me now. The jerk won’t answer any of my texts.” She looks at Tessa. “When was the last time you spoke to him?”
“Yesterday.” She pops a chip into her mouth. “I called him from my mom’s cell. I knew he’d answer it ‘cause he wouldn’t recognize the number. The bastard hung up on me when I started talking.” Tessa brushes her hands off over the plate and pushes it away. “This is what we know,” she says, narrowing in on me as she braces her elbows on the table.
Air becomes lodged in my throat as I reflexively hold my breath.
She gives me a soft smile. Relax, Clapton. It’s not that bad.
My lips pull down. It is though.
“We know that Molly is marrying the fuckwad she cheated on Reed with. We also know, which this next little nugget of information seriously pissed me the hell off, that Reed proposed to that bitchasaurus before she left for college, and that the party was at the same spot he pulled that stunt at.” Tessa’s eyes narrow. “Seriously? I can not believe he kept that shit from me. We’ve been best friends since ninth grade.”
“He was probably embarrassed,” Mia says, somberly. “I know I’d be embarrassed if someone rejected me like that.”
“He loved her,” I add, looking between the two sets of eyes trained on me. I sink a little lower in my chair. “He told me he was stupid for doing it, but I think it really hurt him when she turned him down.”
Tessa shakes her head, disagreeing. “Molly is the world’s biggest cunt hair. Reed would’ve been miserable with her. Hell, half the time they were together he was miserable. She did him a huge favor by turning him down.”
Mia cringes. “Cunt hair? You say the sickest stuff sometimes.”
“I waited until you were done eating.”
The two of them share a laugh, then Tessa turns back to me. “Anyway, that’s all he gave us. I don’t need to be a mind reader to know something happened between you two.”
I try to focus on anything besides the two eager faces staring at me, but my eyes are all over the place. My lap. The window. The sandwich I want to keep eating, if only to prevent my words from being understood. I’m uneasy, and I’m not hiding it well. My face is burning up, I’m chewing a hole in my bottom lip. I probably look psychotic right now.
“Beth.”
I look across the table at Mia, lifting my eyes off the glass vase centerpiece.
“Whatever you’re about to say, stays between us. We would never say anything to Reed or anybody else. Okay?”
I take in a deep breath, exhaling it slowly. My eyes fall closed as I drop my head. “We had sex all night and Reed doesn’t remember any of it.”
Silence. Dead silence, as if both of them have ceased breathing.
I peek up and see two sets of eyes, waiting for further explanation. Groaning, I plant my elbows on the table and let my face fall into my hands.
Just get it over with. Like a band-aid. Rip this shit right off.
“Reed freaked out a little at the party when he saw Molly’s fiancé. It’s like everything came to a head and he couldn’t handle it anymore. I pulled him into the farmhouse and things . . . happened. Just like touching and stuff. He wanted to drink after that so we went to the bar. I knew he was feeling the alcohol, but I didn’t think he was completely wasted. When I drove him home, he asked me to stay, and I did. I asked him if he was drunk, he said no.” I look at them between my fingers.
“And . . .” Tessa urges.
I pinch my eyes closed. “I’ve never had sex like that. He was everywhere, all over me, touching me, saying the dirtiest stuff while he held me down. He tied me up and fucked me for what felt like hours. We did it in every room, every position . . .” I swallow hard. “Everywhere. He was so turned on and I was so turned on, and it was like we were racing each other to see who could come the most. I think we tied, maybe, I don’t know. Honestly, I lost count. It was filthy and perfect and I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t know what I was expecting the next morning, but him not remembering what we did wasn’t it. It was so, so embarrassing. I got out of there while he was puking in the bathroom and I haven’t talked to him since.”
My breath against my face becomes too much, too thick, too suffocating. I lower my hands to allow the cool air to hit me.
