When I Fall
Page 46
“You are?”
Our eyes lock. Her breath suddenly blowing out faster against my hand.
Nodding, I move to her other cheek. “Yeah, but not a lot. It’s fucking torture, if I’m being honest. I’ll get little flashes of us together, and then, nothing. It’s gone. Then I’m miserable, waiting for the next image to pop into my head. I hate that I’ve been with you and I can’t just think about it whenever I want. These little glimpses of what we did are killing me. I don’t know how you felt around me, what you sounded like when I made you come with my cock.” I tilt my head. “I’m assuming I made you come with my cock. Please confirm that.”
Her cheek lifts against my hand. The slightest blush appears. “You did.”
I turn and toss the tissues into the trashcan. My hand rubs harshly across my forehead. “I’m just waiting for the image to pop into my head of me eating your pussy. I think I’m miserable now, but seeing that is going to really fuck me up. Because I know I did it. There’s no way in hell I didn’t have my mouth all over you. And then I’m going to go around breaking shit when I can’t remember what you tasted like.”
Fucking Jim Beam. I’m never drinking that shit again.
Several seconds go by. I look over at Beth when she doesn’t respond. Head tilted down, eyes on me, peeking through her lashes. Hands nervously fidgeting in her lap.
She wets her lips. My chest expands, and I move.
“I remember what one part of you tasted like,” I say, cupping her cheek to lift her head. My thumb runs just below her mouth, tugging at her chin to part her lips. “I’d never forget it. So sweet and wet, and greedy. You have the greediest mouth. The way you suck on my tongue when you’re coming from my fingers. Biting me. Trying to swallow me whole.” I inch closer, slowly moving in. “Those dirty little noises you make against my lips. And your words to me when you’re right there. More, faster, harder. God, I get so hard just from kissing you.” Her hands fist my T-shirt. I close my eyes. “Beth.”
“CJ asked me out.”
My eyes flash open. Hers may have never closed.
“What?” I ask, leaning away, blinking her into focus.
What the hell did she just say?
She shakes her head, and my hand falls away. “I . . . he asked me out tonight, and I said yes. We’re doing something next weekend.” Her voice is timid. Nervous. Unsure.
Why? She agreed to him. She made her decision already.
I take a step back, needing the space. My hands tuck into my front pockets.
Fuck. What am I supposed to do with this?
Beth slides off the sink, her hands smoothing over the bottom of her dress. She steps closer. “I just didn’t want to be up here kissing you when I told him . . .”
“No, I get it,” I interrupt, halting her words and her movements. I lift my shoulders. “You want to go out with him, go out with him. What the hell does it have to do with me?”
Her lips pull down. “I don’t know. Does it have anything to do with you?”
I stare at her.
Are we really playing this game?
“Beth, what do you want me to say? I just tried to kiss you, and you tell me you’re going out with another guy.”
Something soft hits the door. I turn my attention on it, then look back at Beth when nothing else happens. She’s avoiding my eyes now like I hate, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth.
I open my mouth to ask her to look at me. “Are you feeling him?”
The wrong damn question comes out.
Jesus Christ. I don’t want to know this. Unless the next words out of her mouth are “No, Reed. I’m feeling you. Now can we please go back to having sex all over this bathroom?” But if she says yes . . .
“He’s nice,” she answers quietly.
Nice? Well . . . fuck. What does that mean?
I let out an exhaustive sigh. “Look, you know I’m miserable. You know I hate that I can’t remember what happened between us. I’ve told you all that. What else do you want?” The same noise from behind the door happens again. “What the hell?”
I look back at the door. Beth moves in my peripheral vision.
“Reed,” she whispers.
The door bursts open, allowing a very sleepy Nolan into the bathroom. He’s dancing around on his feet. Pinching his legs together, then crouching down a bit. I’m not a father, but I know that sign. We need to get out of here so he can do his business.
He takes one look at me and throws both hands into the air. “Uncle Weed!” His eyes widen in alarm, the smile vanishing from his face. Both hands fall to the front of his pajamas as his legs pinch together. “Uh oh.” He scrunches up his face, then whispers, “Uh oh. I didn’t make it.”
Shit. Poor kid.
“Oh, no, buddy. It’s okay.” Beth moves to help Nolan. She bends down and rubs his back. Nolan leans against her and digs his knuckle into his sleepy eye.
I step past the two of them to get out of the bathroom.
“Reed?”
I look back at Beth when I get out into the hallway. Her eyes are pleading me not to go, to finish this conversation with her. But what does she expect me to do? She said yes.
I jerk my chin down the hall. “I’ll get Ben or Mia, and then I’m going to go.”
Her hand stills on Nolan’s back. “Oh,” she says quietly. “Okay. Well, it was nice seeing you again.”
My breath catches. The air in the hallway becomes too thick to inhale.
Fuck. She’s so damn sweet. Too sweet for her own good. How does she do it? How does she make me feel horrible when I’m only doing the right thing here? She said yes. She obviously wants to go out with CJ. Why does she care if I hang around tonight or not?
I stare back at the woman who I really don’t want to leave, but need to leave. All long, dark hair, big eyes, the sweetest heart-shaped face. My eyes fall to her boots, and a weak smile tugs at my mouth. I look up at her and let her have it. Whatever. It’s fucking hers anyway.
I run a hand through my hair. “Yeah, sweetheart. Yeah, you too.”
I inform Ben what happened with Nolan, ignore CJ when he asks about Beth, tell everyone else at the table that Beth is fine and currently helping Nolan, and then walk out to my truck. If they asked me questions about what happened upstairs, I didn’t hear them. I didn’t hear anything, besides the voice in my head telling me to get the hell out of there.
I STEP THROUGH THE DOOR and take a quick sweep of the crowd.
The place is packed solid with women who barely look old enough to vote. Some are shaking their asses on the dance floor, grinding up against each other and loving the attention they’re getting. Others are sitting at the booths lined along the walls, giggling and whispering together.
I follow their eyes to the back of the room.
Assholes with stupid looking Greek letters on their shirts are standing by the pool table, fighting over who’s buying the next round. Frat guys.
Jesus fuck, it’s college night. This is why I don’t do this shit during the week.
I run a rough hand down my face.
Well, pussy is pussy. Legal pussy is all I care about. And after the shit that happened last night with Beth, I fucking need this.
Stepping up to the bar, I take a seat next to three girls huddled together, all of them sipping on something non-alcoholic. No way in hell are any of them twenty-one.
Our eyes lock. Her breath suddenly blowing out faster against my hand.
Nodding, I move to her other cheek. “Yeah, but not a lot. It’s fucking torture, if I’m being honest. I’ll get little flashes of us together, and then, nothing. It’s gone. Then I’m miserable, waiting for the next image to pop into my head. I hate that I’ve been with you and I can’t just think about it whenever I want. These little glimpses of what we did are killing me. I don’t know how you felt around me, what you sounded like when I made you come with my cock.” I tilt my head. “I’m assuming I made you come with my cock. Please confirm that.”
Her cheek lifts against my hand. The slightest blush appears. “You did.”
I turn and toss the tissues into the trashcan. My hand rubs harshly across my forehead. “I’m just waiting for the image to pop into my head of me eating your pussy. I think I’m miserable now, but seeing that is going to really fuck me up. Because I know I did it. There’s no way in hell I didn’t have my mouth all over you. And then I’m going to go around breaking shit when I can’t remember what you tasted like.”
Fucking Jim Beam. I’m never drinking that shit again.
Several seconds go by. I look over at Beth when she doesn’t respond. Head tilted down, eyes on me, peeking through her lashes. Hands nervously fidgeting in her lap.
She wets her lips. My chest expands, and I move.
“I remember what one part of you tasted like,” I say, cupping her cheek to lift her head. My thumb runs just below her mouth, tugging at her chin to part her lips. “I’d never forget it. So sweet and wet, and greedy. You have the greediest mouth. The way you suck on my tongue when you’re coming from my fingers. Biting me. Trying to swallow me whole.” I inch closer, slowly moving in. “Those dirty little noises you make against my lips. And your words to me when you’re right there. More, faster, harder. God, I get so hard just from kissing you.” Her hands fist my T-shirt. I close my eyes. “Beth.”
“CJ asked me out.”
My eyes flash open. Hers may have never closed.
“What?” I ask, leaning away, blinking her into focus.
What the hell did she just say?
She shakes her head, and my hand falls away. “I . . . he asked me out tonight, and I said yes. We’re doing something next weekend.” Her voice is timid. Nervous. Unsure.
Why? She agreed to him. She made her decision already.
I take a step back, needing the space. My hands tuck into my front pockets.
Fuck. What am I supposed to do with this?
Beth slides off the sink, her hands smoothing over the bottom of her dress. She steps closer. “I just didn’t want to be up here kissing you when I told him . . .”
“No, I get it,” I interrupt, halting her words and her movements. I lift my shoulders. “You want to go out with him, go out with him. What the hell does it have to do with me?”
Her lips pull down. “I don’t know. Does it have anything to do with you?”
I stare at her.
Are we really playing this game?
“Beth, what do you want me to say? I just tried to kiss you, and you tell me you’re going out with another guy.”
Something soft hits the door. I turn my attention on it, then look back at Beth when nothing else happens. She’s avoiding my eyes now like I hate, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth.
I open my mouth to ask her to look at me. “Are you feeling him?”
The wrong damn question comes out.
Jesus Christ. I don’t want to know this. Unless the next words out of her mouth are “No, Reed. I’m feeling you. Now can we please go back to having sex all over this bathroom?” But if she says yes . . .
“He’s nice,” she answers quietly.
Nice? Well . . . fuck. What does that mean?
I let out an exhaustive sigh. “Look, you know I’m miserable. You know I hate that I can’t remember what happened between us. I’ve told you all that. What else do you want?” The same noise from behind the door happens again. “What the hell?”
I look back at the door. Beth moves in my peripheral vision.
“Reed,” she whispers.
The door bursts open, allowing a very sleepy Nolan into the bathroom. He’s dancing around on his feet. Pinching his legs together, then crouching down a bit. I’m not a father, but I know that sign. We need to get out of here so he can do his business.
He takes one look at me and throws both hands into the air. “Uncle Weed!” His eyes widen in alarm, the smile vanishing from his face. Both hands fall to the front of his pajamas as his legs pinch together. “Uh oh.” He scrunches up his face, then whispers, “Uh oh. I didn’t make it.”
Shit. Poor kid.
“Oh, no, buddy. It’s okay.” Beth moves to help Nolan. She bends down and rubs his back. Nolan leans against her and digs his knuckle into his sleepy eye.
I step past the two of them to get out of the bathroom.
“Reed?”
I look back at Beth when I get out into the hallway. Her eyes are pleading me not to go, to finish this conversation with her. But what does she expect me to do? She said yes.
I jerk my chin down the hall. “I’ll get Ben or Mia, and then I’m going to go.”
Her hand stills on Nolan’s back. “Oh,” she says quietly. “Okay. Well, it was nice seeing you again.”
My breath catches. The air in the hallway becomes too thick to inhale.
Fuck. She’s so damn sweet. Too sweet for her own good. How does she do it? How does she make me feel horrible when I’m only doing the right thing here? She said yes. She obviously wants to go out with CJ. Why does she care if I hang around tonight or not?
I stare back at the woman who I really don’t want to leave, but need to leave. All long, dark hair, big eyes, the sweetest heart-shaped face. My eyes fall to her boots, and a weak smile tugs at my mouth. I look up at her and let her have it. Whatever. It’s fucking hers anyway.
I run a hand through my hair. “Yeah, sweetheart. Yeah, you too.”
I inform Ben what happened with Nolan, ignore CJ when he asks about Beth, tell everyone else at the table that Beth is fine and currently helping Nolan, and then walk out to my truck. If they asked me questions about what happened upstairs, I didn’t hear them. I didn’t hear anything, besides the voice in my head telling me to get the hell out of there.
I STEP THROUGH THE DOOR and take a quick sweep of the crowd.
The place is packed solid with women who barely look old enough to vote. Some are shaking their asses on the dance floor, grinding up against each other and loving the attention they’re getting. Others are sitting at the booths lined along the walls, giggling and whispering together.
I follow their eyes to the back of the room.
Assholes with stupid looking Greek letters on their shirts are standing by the pool table, fighting over who’s buying the next round. Frat guys.
Jesus fuck, it’s college night. This is why I don’t do this shit during the week.
I run a rough hand down my face.
Well, pussy is pussy. Legal pussy is all I care about. And after the shit that happened last night with Beth, I fucking need this.
Stepping up to the bar, I take a seat next to three girls huddled together, all of them sipping on something non-alcoholic. No way in hell are any of them twenty-one.
