When I Fall
Page 75
He huffs out a laugh, gesturing to Luke with a bloody palm. “Hello? You hear him threatening me? Ain’t you gonna arrest him?”
Luke turns his head slowly. “Shut the fuck up. I didn’t hear shit.”
At that moment, Ben must kick against Rocco’s back, because he face plants on the carpet, bellowing in pain like a little bitch. “Oww, fuucckk. My fuckin’ nose. Christ!”
“Getting tired of seeing your pathetic excuse for a dick hanging out. Stay down.” Ben lifts his head, nodding at me. “Go. We got him.”
I find the stairs and take the steps two, three at a time. The upstairs is quiet. I pass a bathroom and an office before finally opening the last door at the end of the hallway.
The room is dark, compliments of the drawn curtains. My hand swipes along the wall in search of the light switch. A lamp in the corner sparks on, illuminating Beth’s small body curled up on one side of the bed. I cross the room hastily.
Stopping when I see her, I stare down at my girl. I nearly fall to my knees beside her.
She’s asleep in jeans and a faded concert tee, giant noise-canceling head-phones covering her ears. I brush my fingers across her cheek and she stirs, her eyes fluttering open. A lazy smile pulls at her mouth.
“Mm. I don’t want to wake up this time,” she whispers, her voice thick with sleep, her eyes slowly moving over my face.
I sit beside her and slide the headphones off. Does she think she’s dreaming?
“Beth.”
She smiles again.
I fit her sweet face between both of my hands and kiss her soft mouth.
She inhales sharply, pulling back. “Reed?”
I move away an inch, nearly laughing at the shock blooming in her eyes. “Beth Davis. What are you doing to me?”
She touches my lips, moves her fingers over my jaw. “You’re . . . you’re here? How are you here? Why?”
“Why? That’s a silly question. You’re here.”
“But . . .”
I slide my mouth over hers. “I should’ve said it.” She goes perfectly still against me, her small hands circling my wrists as I hold her face.
Shaking her head, she sits up and pulls my hands away. Her touch suddenly feels cold. “No. No, Reed, it’s fine. You told me you couldn’t want me any more than you already did. I was stupid to forget that.”
“You were stupid to love me?”
She stares at me for the longest second, her hands tangling together in her lap. “I was stupid to think you could love me back. That anyone could.”
My stomach clenches as I look at her, as I reach for her again. “I want to get you out of here. I want to take you back to that hotel room and say everything I’ve always been meant to say to you. You weren’t stupid, Beth. I was. I should’ve said it.”
“Reed.”
I move with her, refusing to let her slide off the bed. Her thigh tenses under my hand. “Just listen to me.” Her eyes lift to mine. “I thought I couldn’t love anyone again after all that shit with Molly. I hadn’t done more than one night with a woman in nine years. I didn’t want it. I didn’t want to feel that helpless for someone again, just to have them break me. But you . . . God, Beth, I wanted all of you from the beginning, from that first night at the bar. I never wanted anything less. I never will. When I didn’t say it back, it wasn’t because I didn’t love you. I was realizing I did. I was realizing that for the past nine years, it wouldn’t have mattered if I was scared to love again or not. I could’ve dated those women, I could’ve kissed them, but nobody would’ve made me fall except you. It’s only ever been you, Beth.”
I shift on the bed. My other hand forms to her hip. I feel electric being this close to her.
“What do you mean, it’s only ever been me?” she asks quietly, her tongue wetting her lips.
I duck my head and kiss her temple. “Only ever loved you, brave girl. No one else,” I whisper against her skin, sliding my mouth to her ear. Her breath rushes hot against my neck as I close my eyes. “God, my heart’s pounding.”
She flattens her hand against the center of my chest, breathlessly murmuring, “Mine too.”
“Come home with me.”
Her chin lifts with guidance of my hand. I run my thumb over the flush in her cheek.
“Home. O-Okay.” Her mouth lifts slightly. “To my aunt’s? Or . . .”
I breathe a laugh. Only Beth can shove me in a direction I didn’t know I was ready for.
“I like ‘or’ better.” I kiss her mouth quickly, then lean away, sighing, my hands refusing to leave her skin. “There’s still so much I want to say to you, but I don’t want to say it here, in this house. I don’t want my words to be mixed with his.”
After a slight hesitation, she nods, not questioning what I mean by that. She must understand that I know more than she’s told me. If not, it’ll be obvious the second she sees the state I’ve left Rocco in.
Fucker. He deserves worse, and he’ll get it if he ever tries anything.
We pack up her things, which takes no longer than two minutes. Beth never really unpacked much of anything yesterday, except a few items. She pulls her Kindle against her chest, hugging it, then sets it on the dresser.
“You’re not taking it?” I ask her, grabbing the duffle off the bed.
“It was from Rocco.” She purses her lips. “It was the only thing I had before that I loved. But I have you now, I don’t need it.”
Shit. She loves that thing. She just fucking hugged it goodbye.
Grabbing the back of her neck, I drop a kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll buy you a new one.”
She smiles up at me, then lightly kisses my jaw.
I keep her against my side as we walk down the stairs. Rocco is sitting on the couch now, dressed, holding a bloody rag to his face. Ben and Luke standing in front of him like a pair of guard dogs on steroids. I take Beth immediately outside, expecting the questions to start, but she just snakes her arms around my waist and presses kisses to my chest.
She tries to lead me to her car.
“That’s staying here. We’ll get you another one.”
I’ve never seen her look more confused. Her nose crinkles as she gazes up at me. “But, it’s my car. I need a car.”
“You don’t need that car. I can’t stand looking at it and knowing you lived in that thing. It bothers me. I don’t want you driving it anymore.”
She puts a hand on her hip, fighting a smile. “Reed.”
“Forget it, woman. It stays here.”
She narrows her eyes, laughing. Her arms snake around my neck, pressing her body into mine as she whispers kisses against my throat. “You love me,” she murmurs.
“Mm.” I trace my finger down the side of her face, gazing down at her. “I am scared though, Beth. If you leave me again I don’t think . . .” I swallow hard. “No, I know, I know I won’t survive that. You can’t leave me, even when I fuck up, and I will fuck up. I’ve never done this. I might be bad at it.”
My words hang in the air between us, different from the first time I said them to her. Before it was “I haven’t done this in nine years.” Now she knows she’s my first.
Luke turns his head slowly. “Shut the fuck up. I didn’t hear shit.”
At that moment, Ben must kick against Rocco’s back, because he face plants on the carpet, bellowing in pain like a little bitch. “Oww, fuucckk. My fuckin’ nose. Christ!”
“Getting tired of seeing your pathetic excuse for a dick hanging out. Stay down.” Ben lifts his head, nodding at me. “Go. We got him.”
I find the stairs and take the steps two, three at a time. The upstairs is quiet. I pass a bathroom and an office before finally opening the last door at the end of the hallway.
The room is dark, compliments of the drawn curtains. My hand swipes along the wall in search of the light switch. A lamp in the corner sparks on, illuminating Beth’s small body curled up on one side of the bed. I cross the room hastily.
Stopping when I see her, I stare down at my girl. I nearly fall to my knees beside her.
She’s asleep in jeans and a faded concert tee, giant noise-canceling head-phones covering her ears. I brush my fingers across her cheek and she stirs, her eyes fluttering open. A lazy smile pulls at her mouth.
“Mm. I don’t want to wake up this time,” she whispers, her voice thick with sleep, her eyes slowly moving over my face.
I sit beside her and slide the headphones off. Does she think she’s dreaming?
“Beth.”
She smiles again.
I fit her sweet face between both of my hands and kiss her soft mouth.
She inhales sharply, pulling back. “Reed?”
I move away an inch, nearly laughing at the shock blooming in her eyes. “Beth Davis. What are you doing to me?”
She touches my lips, moves her fingers over my jaw. “You’re . . . you’re here? How are you here? Why?”
“Why? That’s a silly question. You’re here.”
“But . . .”
I slide my mouth over hers. “I should’ve said it.” She goes perfectly still against me, her small hands circling my wrists as I hold her face.
Shaking her head, she sits up and pulls my hands away. Her touch suddenly feels cold. “No. No, Reed, it’s fine. You told me you couldn’t want me any more than you already did. I was stupid to forget that.”
“You were stupid to love me?”
She stares at me for the longest second, her hands tangling together in her lap. “I was stupid to think you could love me back. That anyone could.”
My stomach clenches as I look at her, as I reach for her again. “I want to get you out of here. I want to take you back to that hotel room and say everything I’ve always been meant to say to you. You weren’t stupid, Beth. I was. I should’ve said it.”
“Reed.”
I move with her, refusing to let her slide off the bed. Her thigh tenses under my hand. “Just listen to me.” Her eyes lift to mine. “I thought I couldn’t love anyone again after all that shit with Molly. I hadn’t done more than one night with a woman in nine years. I didn’t want it. I didn’t want to feel that helpless for someone again, just to have them break me. But you . . . God, Beth, I wanted all of you from the beginning, from that first night at the bar. I never wanted anything less. I never will. When I didn’t say it back, it wasn’t because I didn’t love you. I was realizing I did. I was realizing that for the past nine years, it wouldn’t have mattered if I was scared to love again or not. I could’ve dated those women, I could’ve kissed them, but nobody would’ve made me fall except you. It’s only ever been you, Beth.”
I shift on the bed. My other hand forms to her hip. I feel electric being this close to her.
“What do you mean, it’s only ever been me?” she asks quietly, her tongue wetting her lips.
I duck my head and kiss her temple. “Only ever loved you, brave girl. No one else,” I whisper against her skin, sliding my mouth to her ear. Her breath rushes hot against my neck as I close my eyes. “God, my heart’s pounding.”
She flattens her hand against the center of my chest, breathlessly murmuring, “Mine too.”
“Come home with me.”
Her chin lifts with guidance of my hand. I run my thumb over the flush in her cheek.
“Home. O-Okay.” Her mouth lifts slightly. “To my aunt’s? Or . . .”
I breathe a laugh. Only Beth can shove me in a direction I didn’t know I was ready for.
“I like ‘or’ better.” I kiss her mouth quickly, then lean away, sighing, my hands refusing to leave her skin. “There’s still so much I want to say to you, but I don’t want to say it here, in this house. I don’t want my words to be mixed with his.”
After a slight hesitation, she nods, not questioning what I mean by that. She must understand that I know more than she’s told me. If not, it’ll be obvious the second she sees the state I’ve left Rocco in.
Fucker. He deserves worse, and he’ll get it if he ever tries anything.
We pack up her things, which takes no longer than two minutes. Beth never really unpacked much of anything yesterday, except a few items. She pulls her Kindle against her chest, hugging it, then sets it on the dresser.
“You’re not taking it?” I ask her, grabbing the duffle off the bed.
“It was from Rocco.” She purses her lips. “It was the only thing I had before that I loved. But I have you now, I don’t need it.”
Shit. She loves that thing. She just fucking hugged it goodbye.
Grabbing the back of her neck, I drop a kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll buy you a new one.”
She smiles up at me, then lightly kisses my jaw.
I keep her against my side as we walk down the stairs. Rocco is sitting on the couch now, dressed, holding a bloody rag to his face. Ben and Luke standing in front of him like a pair of guard dogs on steroids. I take Beth immediately outside, expecting the questions to start, but she just snakes her arms around my waist and presses kisses to my chest.
She tries to lead me to her car.
“That’s staying here. We’ll get you another one.”
I’ve never seen her look more confused. Her nose crinkles as she gazes up at me. “But, it’s my car. I need a car.”
“You don’t need that car. I can’t stand looking at it and knowing you lived in that thing. It bothers me. I don’t want you driving it anymore.”
She puts a hand on her hip, fighting a smile. “Reed.”
“Forget it, woman. It stays here.”
She narrows her eyes, laughing. Her arms snake around my neck, pressing her body into mine as she whispers kisses against my throat. “You love me,” she murmurs.
“Mm.” I trace my finger down the side of her face, gazing down at her. “I am scared though, Beth. If you leave me again I don’t think . . .” I swallow hard. “No, I know, I know I won’t survive that. You can’t leave me, even when I fuck up, and I will fuck up. I’ve never done this. I might be bad at it.”
My words hang in the air between us, different from the first time I said them to her. Before it was “I haven’t done this in nine years.” Now she knows she’s my first.
