When You're Back
Page 37
My face only flushed more. I wanted him to leave. I needed a moment to regroup. Then I was going to check all the files. I didn’t want Piper to see them and think I couldn’t do this job. I was proud of this job. I was good at it. Or, at least, I’d thought I was.
“Reese, look at me.” Captain’s voice sounded commanding, and my head jerked up to meet his gaze. “You look like you’re about to cry. Fuck, if I’d known it was gonna upset you like that, I wouldn’t have told you about the few receipts I found. It was an honest mistake.”
My eyes stung with tears, and I hated that. I didn’t want to feel weak or damaged. I also didn’t want Captain to see my weakness.
“Swear to God, if you cry over this, I’m going to be pissed. Why are you so upset?”
Maybe it was exhaustion coupled with all the caffeine I’d poured into myself, but I was definitely emotional. I was also missing Mase. He was my security blanket, and with him gone, I had to be strong. I had always been strong before I met Mase. Why was I falling apart now?
“Reese—”
“I’m dyslexic,” I blurted out.
He went still for a moment, and then regret flashed in his eyes, and for the first time ever, I saw Captain look apologetic. I didn’t want sympathy, though.
“I’m learning how to work around it, and I’ve come a long way. I just hate making mistakes like that. It reminds me of where I was before. I don’t want to feel like that again.” I prepared myself for Captain’s apology and gritted my teeth. I didn’t want to hear it, but I knew it was coming.
“Lock up, and come with me. There’s someone I want you to meet,” he said, as if I would do exactly as he told me.
I shook my head. “I have to work.”
He frowned. “Fine. After work, then.”
I wasn’t going anywhere with Captain. “I can’t.”
“Because of Mase.” It wasn’t a question. He was just stating a fact. “Then I’ll bring him to you.”
Who? I had started to ask when Captain turned and walked to the door to leave.
He glanced back. “I don’t want you to ever cry again over that. You should only be proud of what you’ve accomplished. Hell, that’s an honest mistake anyone could have made. Don’t let your weakness define you, Reese. Ever. Your strengths should define you.” Then he was gone.
Mase
Dean Finlay opened the door to the mansion he shared with Kiro in Beverly Hills. “He’s already passed out for the night. I’ve had a room prepared for you,” he said when I walked inside. “He’ll be a mean bastard in the morning. It’s his new routine.”
I wasn’t scared of the old man’s temper. “I’ll handle him. This shit has to stop. He’s so damn selfish,” I said, angry that he was making life hell not only for Harlow but also for Dean, his best friend. Other than Harlow, Dean was the only person who loved the man.
“You don’t know what she was to him. Unless you lived through it with them, you can’t understand, Mase. He was a different man because of her. The accident, it created someone none of us recognized. It shattered his soul. When that happens to you, you never come back from that.”
I was tired of hearing how losing Emily gave him the right to be a world-class asshole. “You know this because you’ve had that kind of love? ’Cause you sure as hell don’t act like him.”
Dean sighed heavily and shook his head. “Never been in love like that. After seeing how it changed Kiro when he lost her, I never let anyone get close enough to me. I wasn’t going to ever know that pain. Don’t want it.”
I wasn’t sure which was worse, loving and losing or not ever knowing that kind of love at all. Life without Reese seemed empty, devoid, pointless. Would I become like my father if I lost her? I wanted to believe I wouldn’t, but I wasn’t sure a man without a soul could be anything else. If that was true, then could I forgive the man? Could I understand him and not hate him for what he was doing to my sister? Had she already made this connection? She had not only Grant but Lila Kate, too. I didn’t want to think of her losing either of them.
“Don’t judge him when you haven’t been there,” Dean said, with a slap on my back. “Now, go get some rest. You’re gonna need it. He won’t be thrilled to see you.”
He was right. Kiro was going to be pissed that I was here to deal with him. He didn’t want dealing with. He wanted to wallow in his pain. But when I faced him tomorrow, I knew I was going to see him differently. I had to remind myself that this would be me if I lost Reese. A world without her in it was incomprehensible.
I’d set my alarm to wake me up at nine so I could be dressed and ready to face my father. I would need coffee before I did this. Yesterday, Harlow had kept finding reasons to keep me in Rosemary Beach. Finally, I had told her I loved her but I had to go. Getting home to Reese was important, and I had to get to Kiro before I could go home to Reese.
Heading to the kitchen, I heard two voices. I recognized Dean but not the female he was with; she had an accent. Stepping into the bright room, I saw an older lady working over the stove while Dean sat at the table, drinking coffee and leafing through an issue of Rolling Stone magazine. He glanced up and smiled at me.
“Good morning, sunshine. You got up before him. Thank fuck,” he said.
“Coffee?” I asked.
The lady wiped her hands on her apron and started to hurry over to the coffee pot.
“Reese, look at me.” Captain’s voice sounded commanding, and my head jerked up to meet his gaze. “You look like you’re about to cry. Fuck, if I’d known it was gonna upset you like that, I wouldn’t have told you about the few receipts I found. It was an honest mistake.”
My eyes stung with tears, and I hated that. I didn’t want to feel weak or damaged. I also didn’t want Captain to see my weakness.
“Swear to God, if you cry over this, I’m going to be pissed. Why are you so upset?”
Maybe it was exhaustion coupled with all the caffeine I’d poured into myself, but I was definitely emotional. I was also missing Mase. He was my security blanket, and with him gone, I had to be strong. I had always been strong before I met Mase. Why was I falling apart now?
“Reese—”
“I’m dyslexic,” I blurted out.
He went still for a moment, and then regret flashed in his eyes, and for the first time ever, I saw Captain look apologetic. I didn’t want sympathy, though.
“I’m learning how to work around it, and I’ve come a long way. I just hate making mistakes like that. It reminds me of where I was before. I don’t want to feel like that again.” I prepared myself for Captain’s apology and gritted my teeth. I didn’t want to hear it, but I knew it was coming.
“Lock up, and come with me. There’s someone I want you to meet,” he said, as if I would do exactly as he told me.
I shook my head. “I have to work.”
He frowned. “Fine. After work, then.”
I wasn’t going anywhere with Captain. “I can’t.”
“Because of Mase.” It wasn’t a question. He was just stating a fact. “Then I’ll bring him to you.”
Who? I had started to ask when Captain turned and walked to the door to leave.
He glanced back. “I don’t want you to ever cry again over that. You should only be proud of what you’ve accomplished. Hell, that’s an honest mistake anyone could have made. Don’t let your weakness define you, Reese. Ever. Your strengths should define you.” Then he was gone.
Mase
Dean Finlay opened the door to the mansion he shared with Kiro in Beverly Hills. “He’s already passed out for the night. I’ve had a room prepared for you,” he said when I walked inside. “He’ll be a mean bastard in the morning. It’s his new routine.”
I wasn’t scared of the old man’s temper. “I’ll handle him. This shit has to stop. He’s so damn selfish,” I said, angry that he was making life hell not only for Harlow but also for Dean, his best friend. Other than Harlow, Dean was the only person who loved the man.
“You don’t know what she was to him. Unless you lived through it with them, you can’t understand, Mase. He was a different man because of her. The accident, it created someone none of us recognized. It shattered his soul. When that happens to you, you never come back from that.”
I was tired of hearing how losing Emily gave him the right to be a world-class asshole. “You know this because you’ve had that kind of love? ’Cause you sure as hell don’t act like him.”
Dean sighed heavily and shook his head. “Never been in love like that. After seeing how it changed Kiro when he lost her, I never let anyone get close enough to me. I wasn’t going to ever know that pain. Don’t want it.”
I wasn’t sure which was worse, loving and losing or not ever knowing that kind of love at all. Life without Reese seemed empty, devoid, pointless. Would I become like my father if I lost her? I wanted to believe I wouldn’t, but I wasn’t sure a man without a soul could be anything else. If that was true, then could I forgive the man? Could I understand him and not hate him for what he was doing to my sister? Had she already made this connection? She had not only Grant but Lila Kate, too. I didn’t want to think of her losing either of them.
“Don’t judge him when you haven’t been there,” Dean said, with a slap on my back. “Now, go get some rest. You’re gonna need it. He won’t be thrilled to see you.”
He was right. Kiro was going to be pissed that I was here to deal with him. He didn’t want dealing with. He wanted to wallow in his pain. But when I faced him tomorrow, I knew I was going to see him differently. I had to remind myself that this would be me if I lost Reese. A world without her in it was incomprehensible.
I’d set my alarm to wake me up at nine so I could be dressed and ready to face my father. I would need coffee before I did this. Yesterday, Harlow had kept finding reasons to keep me in Rosemary Beach. Finally, I had told her I loved her but I had to go. Getting home to Reese was important, and I had to get to Kiro before I could go home to Reese.
Heading to the kitchen, I heard two voices. I recognized Dean but not the female he was with; she had an accent. Stepping into the bright room, I saw an older lady working over the stove while Dean sat at the table, drinking coffee and leafing through an issue of Rolling Stone magazine. He glanced up and smiled at me.
“Good morning, sunshine. You got up before him. Thank fuck,” he said.
“Coffee?” I asked.
The lady wiped her hands on her apron and started to hurry over to the coffee pot.
