When You're Back
Page 40
Henry nodded. “He is. He’s the best.”
Once again, no mention of his mother.
It was time for me to admit to Henry that I had dyslexia, too. Sharing this with people wasn’t something I ever did. It was hard on me, but this little boy was going to share his story with the world. He was proud of what he could do while dealing with this challenge. There was no shame in being dyslexic.
“Henry,” I said, and he looked up at me as he chewed his food. “I have dyslexia, too.”
His little eyes went wide, and then a huge grin broke across his face. “I knew you were special,” he replied. “Just like me.”
Those words sank into my heart, and I knew they’d stay there forever.
Mase
It was well past lunchtime before Kiro came stumbling into the entertainment room, where I was sitting with Dean while he played on the Xbox. I had threatened to wake Kiro up several times, but each time, Dean shook his head and warned me I would just make things worse.
When Kiro’s bleary, bloodshot eyes saw me, he stopped. “Fuck,” he muttered, then walked toward the bar. That was my cue to stand up and do something.
“I’m here to talk, Kiro. I’d prefer to do that with you sober.”
He tried to shove me aside, but he was too hungover and weak. I didn’t budge. “My fucking house, boy. Move out of my way!” he yelled.
I didn’t flinch. “Well, Harlow is my sister, and you upsetting her, stressing her out, and making her cry is my fucking business. So sit your sorry ass down and listen to me.”
Just like I knew he would, he snapped out of his stupor at the sound of Harlow’s name. “What’s wrong with my baby girl?” he asked, running a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up even more.
“She’s worried about you. She loves you. And you’re upsetting her by acting this way. Think about her heart, Kiro. We don’t want something happening to her because you can’t get your shit together.”
He shook his head. “No, nothing can happen to my baby girl. I need her. Can’t lose her,” he said, sounding like a broken man instead of the angry drunk who had walked in here.
“Then snap out of this. Get your head on straight. Is this the way Emily would want you to behave? Would this make her happy?”
“Don’t talk about my Emmy!” he roared, this time shoving me back with more force. “You don’t understand what this is! You don’t fucking understand. My heart.” He stopped, tilted his head back, and looked up at the sky. “She stole my heart. That pretty angel face. So innocent and sweet. She’ll always have it. My life with her was perfect.” He turned his haunted gaze back to me. “Perfect! So fucking perfect! But it ended. I ended. And if I lose all I have left of her, I don’t want to live anymore. I can’t take this pain.”
His eyes weren’t those of the rock legend who appeared on the covers of magazines looking like he owned the world. He didn’t have that swagger that defined him. Not now. He was shredded.
Kiro Manning was gone. In his place was a man who was about to become untethered from this earth. If he’d been a good father to me, if I loved him the way Harlow did, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stand here and take this. My chest tightened in pain for a man I had spent most of my life questioning if he gave a shit about me.
“Harlow needs you. Lila Kate needs a grandfather,” I said simply, reminding him that if Emily was lost, his whole world wasn’t gone. “If something happens to you, Harlow will be crushed. That girl adores you. Could you really do that to her? Can’t you find the will to survive this and be the father she needs?”
Kiro stumbled back and leaned against the sofa, holding his head in both hands. “She’s fading away. I don’t know if I can make it without her. I love my baby girl. We both love our baby girl. She’s grown up to be a beautiful woman and mother. I’m so proud of her. I’ve given her nothing to be proud of.”
I would have liked to agree with him, but I knew Harlow wouldn’t agree. So I spoke for my sister, who didn’t have the ability to handle this herself. “You’re wrong. She’s proud of you. She’s always been proud of you. And when she found out that you stayed by her mother’s side through all this, it rocked her. She knows you love her mother. She’s seen it, and that makes her even more proud of you. She saw a side of you she never knew existed. We all did.”
Kiro rubbed his face and gave a frustrated roar before letting his hands fall to his side. “Did Dean call you? I don’t need this shit right now, son. Why can’t I deal with this the only way I know how?”
His way of dealing was getting trashed and upsetting Harlow. “Your way affects my sister, so that affects me. Dean didn’t call me. Rush paid me a visit. Grant was worried about his wife. He’ll protect Harlow any way he can. Surely you can understand that? Your little girl is loved just as fiercely as you love Emily.”
At the sound of Emily’s name, Kiro flinched as if it pained him. “What is it you want me to do? Be fucking Superman? I’m not motherfucking Superman! I’ve never been. Can’t start now just because you come in here demanding it.”
Kiro had tunnel vision. He was hurting, and that was all the man could see. He was losing Emily, and he could accept nothing more. I wanted to grab the man and shake him. Instead, I clenched my hands at my sides and took a deep breath to calm my frustration. “Do you want Harlow to lose you both? Do you think she can handle that? Do you want her brokenhearted? Don’t you want to be a part of your granddaughter’s life? Here’s your chance to be the man Emily would have wanted you to be. You and I both know you weren’t the father she would have wanted for Harlow. You can’t save her, but you can grant her the one thing we both know she’d want. She would want you to be the best damn grandfather on the planet for Lila Kate.”
Once again, no mention of his mother.
It was time for me to admit to Henry that I had dyslexia, too. Sharing this with people wasn’t something I ever did. It was hard on me, but this little boy was going to share his story with the world. He was proud of what he could do while dealing with this challenge. There was no shame in being dyslexic.
“Henry,” I said, and he looked up at me as he chewed his food. “I have dyslexia, too.”
His little eyes went wide, and then a huge grin broke across his face. “I knew you were special,” he replied. “Just like me.”
Those words sank into my heart, and I knew they’d stay there forever.
Mase
It was well past lunchtime before Kiro came stumbling into the entertainment room, where I was sitting with Dean while he played on the Xbox. I had threatened to wake Kiro up several times, but each time, Dean shook his head and warned me I would just make things worse.
When Kiro’s bleary, bloodshot eyes saw me, he stopped. “Fuck,” he muttered, then walked toward the bar. That was my cue to stand up and do something.
“I’m here to talk, Kiro. I’d prefer to do that with you sober.”
He tried to shove me aside, but he was too hungover and weak. I didn’t budge. “My fucking house, boy. Move out of my way!” he yelled.
I didn’t flinch. “Well, Harlow is my sister, and you upsetting her, stressing her out, and making her cry is my fucking business. So sit your sorry ass down and listen to me.”
Just like I knew he would, he snapped out of his stupor at the sound of Harlow’s name. “What’s wrong with my baby girl?” he asked, running a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up even more.
“She’s worried about you. She loves you. And you’re upsetting her by acting this way. Think about her heart, Kiro. We don’t want something happening to her because you can’t get your shit together.”
He shook his head. “No, nothing can happen to my baby girl. I need her. Can’t lose her,” he said, sounding like a broken man instead of the angry drunk who had walked in here.
“Then snap out of this. Get your head on straight. Is this the way Emily would want you to behave? Would this make her happy?”
“Don’t talk about my Emmy!” he roared, this time shoving me back with more force. “You don’t understand what this is! You don’t fucking understand. My heart.” He stopped, tilted his head back, and looked up at the sky. “She stole my heart. That pretty angel face. So innocent and sweet. She’ll always have it. My life with her was perfect.” He turned his haunted gaze back to me. “Perfect! So fucking perfect! But it ended. I ended. And if I lose all I have left of her, I don’t want to live anymore. I can’t take this pain.”
His eyes weren’t those of the rock legend who appeared on the covers of magazines looking like he owned the world. He didn’t have that swagger that defined him. Not now. He was shredded.
Kiro Manning was gone. In his place was a man who was about to become untethered from this earth. If he’d been a good father to me, if I loved him the way Harlow did, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stand here and take this. My chest tightened in pain for a man I had spent most of my life questioning if he gave a shit about me.
“Harlow needs you. Lila Kate needs a grandfather,” I said simply, reminding him that if Emily was lost, his whole world wasn’t gone. “If something happens to you, Harlow will be crushed. That girl adores you. Could you really do that to her? Can’t you find the will to survive this and be the father she needs?”
Kiro stumbled back and leaned against the sofa, holding his head in both hands. “She’s fading away. I don’t know if I can make it without her. I love my baby girl. We both love our baby girl. She’s grown up to be a beautiful woman and mother. I’m so proud of her. I’ve given her nothing to be proud of.”
I would have liked to agree with him, but I knew Harlow wouldn’t agree. So I spoke for my sister, who didn’t have the ability to handle this herself. “You’re wrong. She’s proud of you. She’s always been proud of you. And when she found out that you stayed by her mother’s side through all this, it rocked her. She knows you love her mother. She’s seen it, and that makes her even more proud of you. She saw a side of you she never knew existed. We all did.”
Kiro rubbed his face and gave a frustrated roar before letting his hands fall to his side. “Did Dean call you? I don’t need this shit right now, son. Why can’t I deal with this the only way I know how?”
His way of dealing was getting trashed and upsetting Harlow. “Your way affects my sister, so that affects me. Dean didn’t call me. Rush paid me a visit. Grant was worried about his wife. He’ll protect Harlow any way he can. Surely you can understand that? Your little girl is loved just as fiercely as you love Emily.”
At the sound of Emily’s name, Kiro flinched as if it pained him. “What is it you want me to do? Be fucking Superman? I’m not motherfucking Superman! I’ve never been. Can’t start now just because you come in here demanding it.”
Kiro had tunnel vision. He was hurting, and that was all the man could see. He was losing Emily, and he could accept nothing more. I wanted to grab the man and shake him. Instead, I clenched my hands at my sides and took a deep breath to calm my frustration. “Do you want Harlow to lose you both? Do you think she can handle that? Do you want her brokenhearted? Don’t you want to be a part of your granddaughter’s life? Here’s your chance to be the man Emily would have wanted you to be. You and I both know you weren’t the father she would have wanted for Harlow. You can’t save her, but you can grant her the one thing we both know she’d want. She would want you to be the best damn grandfather on the planet for Lila Kate.”
